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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,480
I gotta pick up Greta in ten minutes and
I can't find my clothes.
2
00:00:02,880 --> 00:00:04,360
They're usually in your closet.
3
00:00:06,180 --> 00:00:07,180
No, Mom.
4
00:00:07,540 --> 00:00:08,800
I mean the clothes.
5
00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:14,620
My black slacks, my silk vest, and that
cool cap that makes her eyes sparkle and
6
00:00:14,620 --> 00:00:16,100
her lips pucker up.
7
00:00:20,740 --> 00:00:25,240
Oh, you mean the one that makes my eyes
bug out and my stomach cramp.
8
00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:28,520
Yeah, that's the one.
9
00:00:28,890 --> 00:00:29,890
Have you checked under your bed?
10
00:00:30,170 --> 00:00:32,830
Yep. What about the laundry room and
your gym bag?
11
00:00:33,070 --> 00:00:34,070
I checked there, too.
12
00:00:34,130 --> 00:00:35,130
How about the trunk of your car?
13
00:00:36,650 --> 00:00:37,650
Ah.
14
00:00:38,990 --> 00:00:39,949
Good idea.
15
00:00:39,950 --> 00:00:40,729
Thanks, Mom.
16
00:00:40,730 --> 00:00:41,730
Uh -huh.
17
00:00:44,730 --> 00:00:45,850
Bye, Mom. Walk you in.
18
00:00:46,270 --> 00:00:47,910
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
19
00:00:48,190 --> 00:00:49,190
Hold it.
20
00:00:51,330 --> 00:00:52,330
Where'd you get that outfit?
21
00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:53,970
Oh, it's Eddie.
22
00:00:54,410 --> 00:00:55,410
Doesn't it look great on me?
23
00:00:55,790 --> 00:00:57,070
Why are you wearing your brother's
clothes?
24
00:00:59,180 --> 00:01:02,240
curtis and he's seen everything i own
laura eddie's looking for that outfit
25
00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:05,960
right now you know it's very very rude
to take other people's clothes without
26
00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:11,440
their permission harry i can't find my i
love donut sweatshirt
27
00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:16,480
have a nice time dear
28
00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:35,340
Don't enjoy watching sports.
29
00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:37,280
I'll rub your neck.
30
00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:38,480
stuck in the jury box with him.
31
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:39,720
The
32
00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:47,080
Cook
33
00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:51,520
County Criminal Court is now in session.
The Honorable Jennifer Mooney
34
00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:53,420
presiding. All right.
35
00:02:57,140 --> 00:02:58,240
Be seated.
36
00:03:01,580 --> 00:03:06,020
Today we will consider the case of the
people versus David Hayes.
37
00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:10,280
For the record, the prosecuting
attorneys are... Yoo -hoo, yoo -hoo, yoo
38
00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:11,280
yoo -hoo.
39
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:13,560
Yes?
40
00:03:14,180 --> 00:03:16,220
Quick question, Your Honorable
Judgeship.
41
00:03:16,900 --> 00:03:19,000
Stephen G. Urkel, juror three.
42
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:25,800
During the proceedings, if nature should
say, happen to call,
43
00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:32,020
will there be, you know, potty breaks?
44
00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:35,720
Of course, Mr. Urkel.
45
00:03:36,010 --> 00:03:40,690
There will be recesses. Oh, great,
great. Well, I'm not asking for myself,
46
00:03:40,690 --> 00:03:43,730
see. I'm asking for my friend, Kyle
Winslow.
47
00:03:46,970 --> 00:03:48,050
Chair number four.
48
00:03:48,810 --> 00:03:51,270
Let's just say his bladder ain't what it
used to be.
49
00:03:54,850 --> 00:03:55,950
Thank you, Mr.
50
00:03:56,150 --> 00:03:57,810
Urkel. That'll be enough.
51
00:03:58,550 --> 00:03:59,990
Now let's get started.
52
00:04:00,410 --> 00:04:01,990
You may begin, Counselor.
53
00:04:05,260 --> 00:04:10,580
Ladies and gentlemen, what you are going
to see today is an open and shut case.
54
00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:16,000
Mr. David Hayes, the janitor at Leahy
Jewelers... Hey, I've been there. I
55
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,000
a defense.
56
00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:24,300
...is charged with grand theft of
merchandise totaling more than $20 ,000.
57
00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:29,020
And we're going to make your job very
easy for you today by showing you the
58
00:04:29,020 --> 00:04:34,020
surveillance tape that captured the
actual crime as it took place. Cool. Is
59
00:04:34,020 --> 00:04:35,020
the...
60
00:04:35,470 --> 00:04:36,470
No, it's not.
61
00:04:36,950 --> 00:04:38,290
Turn it up here? No.
62
00:04:38,870 --> 00:04:39,869
It's not efficient?
63
00:04:39,870 --> 00:04:40,870
Would you just stop?
64
00:04:47,710 --> 00:04:48,710
Is the bike ready?
65
00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:50,810
Nope, still boiling.
66
00:04:52,050 --> 00:04:54,010
Hey, how do you make scrambled eggs
fluffy?
67
00:04:54,810 --> 00:04:55,810
I don't know.
68
00:04:57,390 --> 00:04:58,390
Marshmallows.
69
00:05:08,330 --> 00:05:09,930
Is somebody laying asphalt?
70
00:05:11,870 --> 00:05:16,690
We're making breakfast for the whole
family. You guys boil the bacon?
71
00:05:17,870 --> 00:05:21,690
Sure. I mean, we had to kill the germs
from when it fell on the floor.
72
00:05:23,250 --> 00:05:24,630
What's the name? Take a look.
73
00:05:30,950 --> 00:05:31,950
Wow.
74
00:05:36,620 --> 00:05:41,460
these eggs here, uh, these are bouillon
cubes and chocolate sprinkles?
75
00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:43,880
Yep.
76
00:05:44,620 --> 00:05:50,020
You know, you know, like, next time, you
might want to unwrap the bouillon
77
00:05:50,020 --> 00:05:51,020
cubes.
78
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:52,960
Mom,
79
00:05:55,380 --> 00:05:57,460
there are gummy bears in my pancake.
80
00:05:58,260 --> 00:05:59,640
Make coffee, Mrs. W.
81
00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:01,500
It's good to the last drop.
82
00:06:03,420 --> 00:06:04,420
Thank you.
83
00:06:15,570 --> 00:06:19,310
I, uh, hope we get to the last drop
before Tuesday.
84
00:06:21,870 --> 00:06:24,930
I got three, Jay. Why don't you go and
get me the morning paper?
85
00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:29,290
Uh, Richie, uh, why don't you help him
just in case he has trouble finding it?
86
00:06:29,750 --> 00:06:31,170
One newspaper coming up.
87
00:06:31,670 --> 00:06:32,670
All right.
88
00:06:33,890 --> 00:06:34,890
Uh, hey, guys.
89
00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:39,840
This was a really nice surprise. I
always love it when someone else does
90
00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:40,980
cooking. Thank you.
91
00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:20,250
Mr. Bozzelli, as head of security for
Leahy Jewelers, what surveillance system
92
00:07:20,250 --> 00:07:21,250
do you utilize?
93
00:07:21,270 --> 00:07:23,210
24 -hour video monitoring.
94
00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:24,990
The very latest, state -of -the -art.
95
00:07:25,430 --> 00:07:28,630
Your Honor, may it please the court, at
this time we would like to enter that
96
00:07:28,630 --> 00:07:29,630
tape into evidence.
97
00:07:29,730 --> 00:07:30,729
Very well.
98
00:07:30,730 --> 00:07:32,710
Bailiff, if you would please set up the
video monitor.
99
00:07:33,010 --> 00:07:34,010
No way.
100
00:07:35,670 --> 00:07:36,629
Why not?
101
00:07:36,630 --> 00:07:38,710
I only take orders from Judge Mooney.
102
00:07:40,570 --> 00:07:43,390
It's okay, Henry. Go ahead and do it.
103
00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:45,590
Well...
104
00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:13,980
but appreciate you talking us through
it.
105
00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:19,580
There's David Hayes coming into the
store.
106
00:09:21,660 --> 00:09:22,740
That's him, all right.
107
00:09:24,580 --> 00:09:26,180
Bold as a bedbug.
108
00:09:28,300 --> 00:09:31,100
And that was Hayes leaving the store
with two bags of loot.
109
00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:33,800
Right on tape. What a bonehead.
110
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,660
Could you adjust the color?
111
00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:40,780
It's black and white.
112
00:09:46,700 --> 00:09:48,040
There is no sound.
113
00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:51,500
He sure is grouchy.
114
00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:55,000
Maybe you should give him one of your
laxatives.
115
00:10:04,580 --> 00:10:05,579
So, Mr.
116
00:10:05,580 --> 00:10:08,520
Hayes, you were at home watching
Bewitched that entire evening?
117
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:10,860
Yes, ma 'am. It was a marathon.
118
00:10:19,980 --> 00:10:24,620
Mr. Hayes, do you actually expect this
jury to believe that you didn't commit
119
00:10:24,620 --> 00:10:27,520
this crime, even though we all watched
it on tape?
120
00:10:28,900 --> 00:10:30,640
Yeah, that'd be great.
121
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:39,560
I broke my pencil. I was wondering...
Wait, I'll get that. Don't worry.
122
00:10:58,459 --> 00:10:59,459
That's nine.
123
00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:02,640
Guilty.
124
00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:04,240
Guilty.
125
00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:05,860
Not guilty.
126
00:11:06,420 --> 00:11:07,420
Not guilty?
127
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,420
Who's the idiot that voted not guilty?
128
00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:48,200
turning into a lean, mean babe machine.
129
00:11:53,340 --> 00:11:54,340
Three,
130
00:11:55,140 --> 00:11:56,140
two,
131
00:11:58,920 --> 00:11:59,920
what happened?
132
00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:06,260
Well, I thought your basketball needed
some air, and I guess I might have over
133
00:12:06,260 --> 00:12:07,059
-pumped it.
134
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,640
This is an authentic autograph, Scotty
Pippen.
135
00:12:18,700 --> 00:12:20,980
Yeah, well, you just ruined a $75
basketball.
136
00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:23,400
Man.
137
00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:29,600
Does anybody know who's been messing
with my perfumes?
138
00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:31,180
Uh, that'd be me.
139
00:12:31,420 --> 00:12:36,480
See, you only add a little bit in each
bottle. So I'll pour them all into one.
140
00:12:40,620 --> 00:12:45,660
3J, the purpose of having six different
perfumes is so that you can smell six
141
00:12:45,660 --> 00:12:46,660
different ways.
142
00:12:51,790 --> 00:12:52,629
I'm sorry.
143
00:12:52,630 --> 00:12:54,750
I didn't mean to mess up everything.
144
00:13:04,750 --> 00:13:11,690
Steve, for the hundredth time, this is
an open and
145
00:13:11,690 --> 00:13:12,790
shut case.
146
00:13:13,770 --> 00:13:18,530
I just think we should consider
everything before we send Mr. Hayes to
147
00:13:18,710 --> 00:13:20,250
And that's very...
148
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:24,960
Sweet of you, but the rest of us want to
hang that dirt bag.
149
00:13:25,260 --> 00:13:26,260
Yeah!
150
00:13:26,660 --> 00:13:29,780
You saw the video. He's obviously
guilty.
151
00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:33,800
I know it looks that way, but... But
what?
152
00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:40,480
But... But I just got a feeling in the
old Urkel gut that something is wrong.
153
00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:49,420
Steve, if you do not change your mind,
the only thing in the old Urkel gut
154
00:13:49,420 --> 00:13:50,420
will be...
155
00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:58,900
If you don't bring in a verdict in the
next half hour, we're going to have to
156
00:13:58,900 --> 00:14:00,260
sequester you all night.
157
00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:03,020
Come on, kids.
158
00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:04,400
You saw the tape.
159
00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:05,840
Videotapes don't lie.
160
00:14:34,630 --> 00:14:39,830
Yes. After a very enlightening
discussion with Mr. Urkel, I have
161
00:14:39,830 --> 00:14:41,930
reopen the case and allow him to
testify.
162
00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:44,090
Objection!
163
00:14:44,710 --> 00:14:48,370
Overall, proceed, Mr. Urkel.
164
00:14:50,430 --> 00:14:52,430
This is the video we've all seen.
165
00:14:52,630 --> 00:14:54,050
Yes, and we've all seen Mr.
166
00:14:54,330 --> 00:14:58,090
Hayes commit the crime with our own
eyes. Come on, Your Honor. Ah, but can
167
00:14:58,090 --> 00:14:59,470
trust our own eyes?
168
00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:14,160
the store.
169
00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:23,920
No, he didn't. All I did was take a
sample from Carl's vacation video,
170
00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:27,220
it into my computer, and insert it into
the surveillance video.
171
00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:52,600
This little diversion is amusing, but,
uh, what's the point?
172
00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:57,540
Ah, the point is, the real robber could
have gotten a duplicate of David Hayes'
173
00:15:57,620 --> 00:16:02,360
uniform and robbed the store. Then all
he had to do to the tape was digitally
174
00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:05,080
replace his face with the face of David
Hayes.
175
00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:10,260
Okay, okay, that may be possible, but
you can't prove that's what happened.
176
00:17:06,089 --> 00:17:10,670
the district attorney's office will be
filing charges against Mr. Bozzelli.
177
00:17:10,849 --> 00:17:11,489
Your Honor.
178
00:17:11,490 --> 00:17:16,490
Good. The jury is excused. The charges
against David Hayes are dismissed.
179
00:17:22,069 --> 00:17:23,069
Congratulations,
180
00:17:25,650 --> 00:17:28,410
Steve. You saved an innocent man from
going to jail.
181
00:17:28,730 --> 00:17:31,930
Yes. We were wrong about you, nerd boy.
182
00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:39,380
You stood up to some pretty heavy
pressure, mostly from me.
183
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,340
I think that we all owe you an apology.
184
00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:47,840
Apology accepted.
185
00:18:23,980 --> 00:18:24,980
Pre -J?
186
00:18:25,420 --> 00:18:26,900
Honey, why are you doing up so early?
187
00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:33,000
Oh, I just had to urge to get up at dawn
and iron my beautiful foster mother's
188
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,000
clothes.
189
00:18:34,260 --> 00:18:36,120
Oh, that's so sweet.
190
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:48,800
You might be using a little bit too much
191
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:50,900
starch. You are so right.
192
00:18:52,570 --> 00:18:55,430
You know, I really appreciate all the
extra chores you've been doing around
193
00:18:55,430 --> 00:18:57,990
here. Hey, I'm trying to pull my weight.
194
00:18:58,410 --> 00:19:02,850
I've been raising children for 20 years,
and none of them would do all that work
195
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:08,590
around here unless it was Mother's Day,
or my birthday, or they had done
196
00:19:08,590 --> 00:19:09,569
something wrong.
197
00:19:09,570 --> 00:19:13,130
I didn't do anything wrong. I swear.
Please don't send me back.
198
00:19:13,590 --> 00:19:14,590
Send you back?
199
00:19:14,910 --> 00:19:15,910
Send you back where?
200
00:19:16,450 --> 00:19:18,610
To the children's shelter.
201
00:19:19,270 --> 00:19:20,430
Well, why would I do that?
202
00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:24,800
foster family I've ever been with has
sent me back.
203
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:27,200
And I really like this place.
204
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:30,940
Is that why you've been knocking
yourself out around here?
205
00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:32,420
Kind of.
206
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,000
I see.
207
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:37,240
Come here, honey.
208
00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:46,960
3J, when Carl and I decided to be your
foster parents, you became a member of
209
00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:47,960
our own family.
210
00:19:48,740 --> 00:19:51,000
Permanently. So you see, honey.
211
00:19:51,580 --> 00:19:54,880
You don't have to do all these extra
chores to win our love.
212
00:19:55,380 --> 00:19:56,640
You already have it.
213
00:19:57,140 --> 00:19:58,600
And you always will.
214
00:20:05,740 --> 00:20:06,800
Does Mr.
215
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,000
W. feel the same way?
216
00:20:08,180 --> 00:20:09,180
We all do.
217
00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:14,200
And, honey, if doing housework was the
only way you could stay here,
218
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:17,160
Eddie and Laura would have been gone
years ago.
219
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:34,960
One, two, three.
220
00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:36,380
One, two, three.
221
00:20:37,460 --> 00:20:40,220
Feel our strength and turn it up.
222
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:48,840
What are you doing?
223
00:20:51,100 --> 00:20:53,340
I'm teaching my water beetle
synchronized swimming.
16732
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