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1
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Happy birthday to you.
2
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Happy birthday to you.
3
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Happy birthday, dear Eddie.
4
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Happy birthday to you.
5
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I can't believe my Eddie Bear
6
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is 20. One more year, we'll be the same
age.
7
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your gifts then? Oh, open this first.
Open this first. Open this first. This
8
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one, this one, this one.
9
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Okay.
10
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Well, I guess I'll open this one first.
11
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It's for me and Mike.
12
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Oh, a giant rubber fly.
13
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Not just a giant rubber fly, silly.
14
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It's also a toothpaste dispenser.
15
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Okay. Here you go.
16
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A quarter?
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You know, it is Sunday.
18
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Well, in that case, God bless you, my
son.
19
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something she can wear.
20
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Yeah, Steve, guess what?
21
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The Leather Palace is selling this
jacket for $1 ,300.
22
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Myrtle must have saved for months.
23
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You kidding?
24
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$1 ,300 is chunk change for Myrtle.
25
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It is?
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Oh, yeah.
27
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My Myrtle's rich, bloated, swimming in
gravy.
28
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Get out of here.
29
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Oh, no, I'm serious.
30
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My Big Daddy Urkel is worth millions.
31
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Hundreds of millions.
32
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Why, he's only the peanut king of the
entire world.
33
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Why, he makes a penny every time
somebody gobbles a goober.
34
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How come you never told me Myrtle was
loaded before?
35
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Eh, she doesn't want a lot of...
36
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The first time.
37
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them comfort you
38
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Sir, you have besmatched what should be
unbesmatchable.
39
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I'm going to mass you in the grits. Oh,
no, Big Daddy. Don't you dare harm a
40
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hair on his hunky -funky head.
41
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This here scoundrel needs to be dealt
with.
42
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But, Big Daddy, he is no scoundrel.
43
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just kill me murder may is you telling
big daddy that you in
44
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love with this year man like a hound dog
loves a ham bone
45
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well now this year changes
46
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everything huh well uh myrtle why don't
you go on and sit in big daddy little
47
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old helio cop
48
00:08:40,809 --> 00:08:41,809
for this sort of thing.
49
00:08:42,530 --> 00:08:46,550
Sir, let me assure you that I had
absolutely no intention whatsoever of...
50
00:08:46,550 --> 00:08:47,550
Hashtag!
51
00:08:49,230 --> 00:08:55,550
Now, you know, years ago, when my murder
mate was born,
52
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before they called me Big Daddy, back
when they called me Medium Daddy,
53
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I said to myself, I said, Daddy...
54
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For anything.
55
00:09:17,350 --> 00:09:19,090
That's really nice, sir.
56
00:09:20,330 --> 00:09:23,130
But I think what she wants right now is
to go home.
57
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No.
58
00:09:27,530 --> 00:09:32,070
What I think she wants, boy, is you.
59
00:09:34,510 --> 00:09:40,570
No offense, sir. I'm sure she's a
wonderful girl, and she'll probably make
60
00:09:40,570 --> 00:09:41,570
other guy...
61
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:51,140
She don't want some other guy.
62
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She wants to marry you.
63
00:09:56,440 --> 00:10:01,640
Only question is, how much is it going
to cost me?
64
00:10:03,540 --> 00:10:04,940
I don't believe this.
65
00:10:05,620 --> 00:10:09,720
Look, I'm just not attracted to Myrtle,
and I could never marry a woman that I
66
00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:10,720
don't love.
67
00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:15,000
The bottom line is, Eddie Winslow cannot
be bought.
68
00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:17,820
I give you $10 million.
69
00:10:57,230 --> 00:10:58,230
I don't know.
70
00:11:11,180 --> 00:11:12,820
million dollars today. Who cares?
71
00:11:13,180 --> 00:11:19,060
In a moment, I'm gonna be related to
Steve Urkel.
72
00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:23,720
Uh,
73
00:11:27,500 --> 00:11:33,220
no offense, sir, but you're a peanut
farmer and you have all of this?
74
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:38,240
Son, I'm a peanut making moco.
75
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:40,660
I make roasted peanuts.
76
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:46,360
blanched, salted, unsalted, chopped, and
granulated. I see. I make oven
77
00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:51,680
-roasted, plain -roasted, honey
-roasted, dry -roasted. I make toffee
78
00:11:51,700 --> 00:11:56,860
chili -covered, cinnamon -covered. I've
got peanut brittle, clusters, chews.
79
00:11:56,860 --> 00:11:59,040
Thank you very much, sir.
80
00:11:59,340 --> 00:12:00,720
I get your point.
81
00:12:01,580 --> 00:12:03,460
It's time to take our places, Pence.
82
00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:25,300
Do you believe these dresses Myrtle
picked out? Yeah.
83
00:12:25,660 --> 00:12:26,660
Aren't they pretty?
84
00:14:19,500 --> 00:14:20,980
Let's just leave that down for a while.
85
00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:24,380
Till after the ceremony?
86
00:14:24,860 --> 00:14:26,220
No, till after I'm dead.
87
00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:40,140
Dearly beloved, we are gathered together
to join in holy matrimony
88
00:14:40,140 --> 00:14:45,380
Myrtle May Urkel and Edward James
Winslow.
89
00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:47,960
Who gives the bride in marriage?
90
00:14:49,870 --> 00:14:50,870
I do, sir.
91
00:14:52,390 --> 00:14:55,930
And may I just say, thank you, Jesus!
92
00:14:57,270 --> 00:14:58,270
Hallelujah!
93
00:14:59,150 --> 00:15:00,150
Hallelujah!
94
00:15:03,610 --> 00:15:07,990
Do you have the rent?
95
00:15:08,270 --> 00:15:09,270
Right here.
96
00:15:13,910 --> 00:15:17,150
Do you, Myrtle Mae Urkel? I do.
97
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:37,900
eager to spend what I've been saving.
98
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:54,220
Step on it, Rev.
99
00:15:55,900 --> 00:15:57,060
Very well, then.
100
00:15:57,440 --> 00:16:02,400
By the power vested in me by the state
of Mississippi, I now pronounce you...
101
00:16:18,959 --> 00:16:24,020
Does anyone know that Eddie was paid $10
million to marry Myrtle?
102
00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:31,240
So what's your point, Thunder Thighs?
103
00:19:44,910 --> 00:19:46,890
and she and Myrtle got into a huge cat
fight.
104
00:19:47,550 --> 00:19:48,550
Oh, my.
105
00:19:49,610 --> 00:19:50,850
I'll tell you one thing.
106
00:19:51,810 --> 00:19:56,390
This dream has made me realize I'm not
going to marry any girl unless I love
107
00:19:56,390 --> 00:19:58,230
her. I don't care how much money she
has.
108
00:19:58,810 --> 00:20:00,670
Good for you, et al.
109
00:20:02,550 --> 00:20:05,190
Hey, birthday boy. Another package just
came for you.
110
00:20:06,530 --> 00:20:08,690
When will Myrtle get it through her
thick skull?
111
00:20:08,990 --> 00:20:10,550
I am not for sale.
112
00:20:14,570 --> 00:20:16,850
I'll be sure to tell Grandma how you
feel, Eddie.
113
00:20:18,530 --> 00:20:22,990
Grandma? Yeah, nice move, Bozo. She got
you that CD player you wanted.
114
00:20:24,670 --> 00:20:25,670
Oh, no!
115
00:20:29,210 --> 00:20:31,730
It really sucks. I just love to see him
panic.
116
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:49,960
Carl, I thought you said you were going
to start counting your calories.
117
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:51,560
Oh, I am, sweetheart.
118
00:20:52,020 --> 00:20:53,620
I'm counting them as I'm eating them.
119
00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:55,020
See?
120
00:20:55,300 --> 00:20:56,340
650 calories.
121
00:20:57,860 --> 00:20:58,860
700.
122
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:05,400
750.
123
00:21:08,420 --> 00:21:09,420
We're hitting 800.
9034
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