Original subtitles

Oh, it's okay.

Come on, Steve.

The brain.

Electric light scatter.

spenders.

strollers down. Hey. Hey, Harriet, look.

Is that new hair?

138 new hairs, to be exact.

Follicles that were afraid to show themselves until Steve Urkel left the

building.

Hey, son. How you doing, son? Hey, you want some money?

There you go.

Thanks, Dad.

What you reading, son?

Oh, just a letter from Steve.

Steve?

next Saturday.

Really? Oh, I'm working next Saturday.

Carl, you should go.

Edward, take a letter.

All right.

Dear Steve.

Not neighbors who've driven crazy your whole life, Wicked.

Hi,

Laura. Hey, Myra. What are you doing here?

Some despair.

An awful, yawning emptiness.

Myra, I never thought I'd say this to you, but try and perk up.

Oh, hi, Myra.

Easy for you to say you have a man.

Okay.

Laura, you going out tonight?

Yeah, I'm going to the scissor club.

Will they let you in half -dressed like that?

Don't you think you have on a little bit too much makeup?

And don't forget your curfews at 11 o 'clock.

Have fun!

Gee, your mom sure is direct.

Yeah, every time I go on a date, she dusts me for fingerprints.

Sometimes I wish I could afford to move out of here.

You mean that?

Yeah, it'd be great to only have to answer to myself.

said he'd get me my own apartment, but only if I got a roommate.

Hint, hint.

Wait a minute. You're not suggesting that we... Hello, roomie!

Hi,

Steve!

Hi, Dave.

Hi, Steve.

Hi, Loomis.

Hi, Dave.

shadow puppets with fiber optic lasers?

No, thanks.

Want to go measure how much liquid is displaced when a fly lands in milk?

Been there, done that, moved on.

Hey, Steve, you okay?

family.

just about to wake up in four hours anyway.

Good. Want to exercise with me?

Sure. How about some kickboxing?

Oh, you made up, honey.

Hot fish and tag.

Mother Vivian.

move back in with my parents.

But why?

Is there an emergency at home?

Actually, I'm moving for your protection.

I don't understand.

Well, if I don't go, I will kill you.

I see.

Look, Marla, don't take it personally. It's just...

two different worlds.

Mine's Earth.

Okay.

I understand.

Look, Mara, I'm sorry.

If you want, I'll pretend like I still live here so your dad will keep paying

the rent.

No need. I made the whole thing up.

You did?

I thought we could be friends.

I'm lonely with Stevie gone.

And for some unexplainable reason, I don't have many gal pals.

Well, how many do you have?

One.

She just told me she's moving out.

Laura, how come I'm not popular like you?

I mean, I'm pretty, I'm perky, and I can yodel in six languages.

You just try too hard.

You're just like a friendship tornado.

You suck up everything in your path.

You just need to relax and let people breathe.

But then people won't do things my way.

try really, really hard not to try too hard, then will you stay?

No.

But

I

will be your friend.

Here's my room.

Isn't it cozy?

Well, it certainly is you.

Hey, Argyle.

What's shaking deep?

Bob, Dad, this is the guy I was telling you about. Ask him anything.

Who was Norbert Wiener?

Norbert Wiener provided the mathematical foundation for the modern theory of

stochastic processes.

And he's my friend.

Well, Steve, you're really popular.

Yeah, thanks.

But you gotta put it all in perspective.

Just between you and me, big guy, the student body here is a smidgen on the

nerdy side.

Hey, Steve.

What is this?

Why, just a picture of my favorite cop.

Oh, oh, oh.

And check it out.

Let's save some for next time.

I really should be getting to the airport.

Oh, right.

You have to go back.

Okay.

Well, I guess I'll see you at Thanksgiving, then.

Yeah. Thanksgiving.

Huh?

Thanks for coming.

You don't know how much it means to me.

I mean, B .I .T. is a great school and all, but...

I've got a real bad taste of the double W's.

The double W's?

Wayne's Law Withdrawal.

I miss you guys like crazy.

Well, you know, Steve, I kind of realized that I miss you, too.

Won't you come home, Steve Urkel?

Won't you come home? Now, wait a minute. I didn't say that.

Oh, yes, you did. Not with your lips, but with your eyes and your heart.

Why, when you said I miss you, I felt your pain.

Oh, it wasn't even pain. It wasn't even gas.

Oh, wow.

I'm coming home, big guy. I'm coming home.

Steve, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Now, what about B .I .T.? What about B

.T.? Why, I'll transfer.

I'll go to I. I owe you and Eddie, Myra, and Laura.

And the whole gang will be back together.

But you... Oh, boy!