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1
00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:16,718
Watch me.
2
00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:17,720
What car?
3
00:00:18,020 --> 00:00:23,840
I hold in my hands by next the leap
forward in modern refrigeration. No,
4
00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:26,580
Urkelkowitz. Ice cubes and a cake.
5
00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:30,720
Steve.
6
00:00:31,940 --> 00:00:35,620
What drives you to create these useless
inventions?
7
00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:38,440
I travel devoid of human contact.
8
00:00:45,230 --> 00:00:50,770
Handy dandy can eliminates the need for
ice cubes. Why, one spray will turn a
9
00:00:50,770 --> 00:00:54,150
lukewarm beverage into a frosty cold
beverage in mere seconds.
10
00:00:55,530 --> 00:00:58,910
Prepare to be dazzled.
11
00:01:04,349 --> 00:01:05,470
Oh boy,
12
00:01:10,150 --> 00:01:11,150
that was exciting.
13
00:01:12,810 --> 00:01:14,630
Don't worry, she must be clogged.
14
00:03:08,910 --> 00:03:15,790
would like to have seen that you're
lucky i have
15
00:03:15,790 --> 00:03:22,030
to leave saturday big guy just make a
little extra money moonlighting
16
00:03:22,030 --> 00:03:26,530
dad's got a great gig he's working
security for a movie company that's
17
00:03:26,530 --> 00:03:29,510
on location he actually gets to protect
movie stars
18
00:03:55,690 --> 00:03:57,690
Why? Because you care about your dear
old dad?
19
00:03:57,930 --> 00:03:58,930
Of course.
20
00:03:59,150 --> 00:04:01,590
And you want to meet some starlets? Of
course.
21
00:04:06,270 --> 00:04:12,850
Uncle Steve, you got a minute? What's
up,
22
00:04:12,990 --> 00:04:13,990
Richmeister?
23
00:04:14,250 --> 00:04:18,089
Well, I'm having my first science fair
at school, and I was wondering if you
24
00:04:18,089 --> 00:04:19,089
could help me with my project.
25
00:04:19,810 --> 00:04:20,810
Me?
26
00:04:21,269 --> 00:04:23,690
Out of everyone in this house, you're
asking...
27
00:04:28,780 --> 00:04:30,320
since you're so good at science and
everything.
28
00:04:30,660 --> 00:04:33,380
Why, why, I'd be honored.
29
00:04:33,900 --> 00:04:40,040
Thanks. You know, Richie, your first
science fair is a milestone in your
30
00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:43,000
life. It is? Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes.
31
00:04:46,100 --> 00:04:51,460
Why, it fosters creative thinking,
trains the mind to solve complex
32
00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:54,140
Like you could cure a deadly disease.
33
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:57,380
You could harness the power of the time
-space continuum.
34
00:04:58,090 --> 00:05:01,210
you could invent a device that could
change the course of history.
35
00:05:02,090 --> 00:05:03,670
I thought I'd make a pinwheel.
36
00:05:10,370 --> 00:05:12,670
A pinwheel's good.
37
00:05:17,690 --> 00:05:20,210
Boulevard Bullock, scene 22, take 1,
mark.
38
00:05:22,390 --> 00:05:23,390
It's over, Lou.
39
00:05:24,190 --> 00:05:25,190
You're going down.
40
00:05:25,410 --> 00:05:29,060
For a long time. Jazz, wait, man. We can
work this out.
41
00:05:29,300 --> 00:05:33,020
Now, everybody knows you're a cop with a
taste for the good life. We can split
42
00:05:33,020 --> 00:05:34,019
the diamonds.
43
00:05:34,020 --> 00:05:35,020
Huh?
44
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:40,640
Tempting.
45
00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:42,180
But not tempting enough.
46
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:43,640
Oh, brother.
47
00:05:44,180 --> 00:05:45,180
Cut!
48
00:05:46,340 --> 00:05:48,780
Who said, oh, brother?
49
00:05:49,860 --> 00:05:55,140
Who on my set thought it would be a good
career move to say, oh, brother?
50
00:06:03,170 --> 00:06:04,170
Sorry.
51
00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:08,110
It's just that that scene is a little
unrealistic.
52
00:06:08,890 --> 00:06:09,950
You have notes.
53
00:06:10,310 --> 00:06:13,230
I don't believe this. The security guard
has notes.
54
00:06:14,590 --> 00:06:15,590
Can we get moving?
55
00:06:15,830 --> 00:06:17,310
I'm losing my gift over here.
56
00:06:17,770 --> 00:06:21,090
Your gift? Your gift is that we got you
out of dinner theater.
57
00:06:21,450 --> 00:06:22,450
Now take five.
58
00:06:25,170 --> 00:06:27,390
Now, what did you mean it's unrealistic?
59
00:06:28,790 --> 00:06:30,830
Well, for starters, uh...
60
00:06:31,150 --> 00:06:33,650
A cop would never scratch his head with
a loaded gun.
61
00:06:34,410 --> 00:06:35,530
It's subtext.
62
00:06:35,870 --> 00:06:36,870
It's stupid.
63
00:06:37,910 --> 00:06:42,070
He could blow his brains out. Or the guy
could jump him and get away.
64
00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:45,110
You sound like you know what you're
talking about.
65
00:06:45,850 --> 00:06:48,490
Well, I've been a Chicago cop for over
20 years.
66
00:06:48,750 --> 00:06:49,750
Huh.
67
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:54,870
You're one of those guys with a... What
do you call it? A real job. That's it.
68
00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:58,330
What is your name?
69
00:06:58,970 --> 00:06:59,970
Carl Winslow.
70
00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:02,940
All right, Carl Winslow.
71
00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:06,020
How do you see the scene?
72
00:07:15,420 --> 00:07:16,420
It's over, Luke.
73
00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:20,620
You have the right to remain silent. If
you refuse that right, anything you say
74
00:07:20,620 --> 00:07:24,200
can and will be held against you in a
court of law.
75
00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:29,700
Talk to me, C .W. What's wrong?
76
00:07:30,780 --> 00:07:33,960
Well, Jake, it's still a little too
unreal.
77
00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:38,040
What he's saying is real, but the way
he's saying it isn't.
78
00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:41,320
Could you show him how a real cop would
do it?
79
00:07:41,700 --> 00:07:44,820
Well, I don't know. Oh, come on, Kimmy,
C .W., huh?
80
00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:46,080
Well,
81
00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:48,060
all right, why not?
82
00:07:56,460 --> 00:07:57,480
It's over, Luke.
83
00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:01,920
or under arrest, you have the right to
remain silent.
84
00:08:02,300 --> 00:08:08,260
If you refuse that right, anything you
say can and will be held against you in
85
00:08:08,260 --> 00:08:09,260
court of law.
86
00:08:13,100 --> 00:08:14,100
Yes!
87
00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:16,280
Incredible.
88
00:08:18,940 --> 00:08:21,180
I really like working with him.
89
00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:24,120
He gives me something.
90
00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:28,140
I'm no actor. I'm just a cop.
91
00:08:28,350 --> 00:08:29,350
Exactly.
92
00:08:29,890 --> 00:08:31,030
You're a real cop.
93
00:08:31,530 --> 00:08:36,429
That's just what my movie is missing. C
.W., I want you in this picture. Who's
94
00:08:36,429 --> 00:08:37,109
your agent?
95
00:08:37,110 --> 00:08:41,289
Agent? Well, well, well, when we bought
our house, we had a real estate agent
96
00:08:41,289 --> 00:08:42,530
once. I think her name was Natalie.
97
00:08:42,750 --> 00:08:44,169
Somebody get me Natalie on the phone.
98
00:08:44,410 --> 00:08:45,490
Get Natalie on the phone.
99
00:08:45,910 --> 00:08:46,910
Get me Natalie.
100
00:08:48,990 --> 00:08:51,870
Jake, Jake, you can't do this.
101
00:08:52,730 --> 00:08:57,310
Jake, Jake, I don't feel too good about
getting somebody fired.
102
00:08:57,910 --> 00:09:02,350
Look at this guy, strong and sensitive,
like me.
103
00:09:03,890 --> 00:09:05,130
Will you get out of here?
104
00:09:07,270 --> 00:09:08,270
So what do you say?
105
00:09:08,510 --> 00:09:09,510
Ready to act?
106
00:09:09,730 --> 00:09:10,950
Oh, Jake.
107
00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:15,770
Oh, come on. You can do this. You have
to seize the moment. That's what it's
108
00:09:15,770 --> 00:09:16,770
about, seizing.
109
00:09:17,150 --> 00:09:20,170
C .W., are you ready to seize?
110
00:09:23,470 --> 00:09:24,790
I guess I could seize.
111
00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:45,820
picture of the pinwheel we're gonna
build? Uh, yeah, yeah, Richie. I've been
112
00:09:45,820 --> 00:09:46,820
thinking about that.
113
00:09:47,260 --> 00:09:51,520
And a pinwheel's nice, but I'm not so
sure it's gonna wow the judges.
114
00:09:52,020 --> 00:09:53,020
Why not?
115
00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:56,480
Well, because everyone does a pinwheel.
I mean, it go, and it's over.
116
00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:02,260
I was thinking we'd do something with a
little more sizzle.
117
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:04,080
Like what?
118
00:10:04,220 --> 00:10:07,060
I care about a project utilizing
animal...
119
00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:18,460
when you combine hot air with cold air.
120
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,160
Medium air?
121
00:10:20,300 --> 00:10:21,300
No.
122
00:10:22,020 --> 00:10:23,320
Actually, you get Congress.
123
00:10:27,180 --> 00:10:30,660
But seriously, you get rain.
124
00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:36,760
Now, if my calculations are correct,
using hot air and cold air, the both of
125
00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:41,000
can unofficially create one of nature's
strongest forces in a miniature
126
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:42,000
controlled environment.
127
00:10:49,829 --> 00:10:50,829
Whoa.
128
00:11:00,830 --> 00:11:01,830
Carl,
129
00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:04,530
that's incredible.
130
00:11:05,670 --> 00:11:07,910
Laura, your dad's in a movie.
131
00:11:08,150 --> 00:11:09,150
Oh, what's he saying?
132
00:11:10,130 --> 00:11:11,730
No, he's acting in a movie.
133
00:11:12,450 --> 00:11:15,050
We want to celebrate. What time are you
coming home?
134
00:11:15,530 --> 00:11:16,730
Well, I may be a little late.
135
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:19,310
Some of the other actors are a little
shaky.
136
00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:24,460
Hey, CW, time to twinkle. Gotta go,
babe. Ciao.
137
00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:25,720
Ciao.
138
00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:35,380
Here's the next scene, CW. Let's
rehearse it. Okay. Nicole!
139
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:45,500
Do you know who you are?
140
00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:49,560
You're Nicole Moses.
141
00:11:51,820 --> 00:11:52,699
Oh, I do?
142
00:11:52,700 --> 00:11:55,640
Oh, I remember. You're the security guy
who ate all the donuts.
143
00:11:56,740 --> 00:12:00,440
Not anymore, though. As a matter of
fact, he's your new co -star.
144
00:12:01,140 --> 00:12:02,140
You're kidding.
145
00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:03,840
I never kid, kid.
146
00:12:05,900 --> 00:12:09,000
He walks the walk. He talks the talk.
You understand?
147
00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:10,960
Whatever.
148
00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:13,300
Let's rehearse.
149
00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:24,210
the Montez brothers.
150
00:12:24,730 --> 00:12:27,670
No way am I going to tell you when the
bust is going down.
151
00:12:28,430 --> 00:12:29,430
Stop it, baby.
152
00:12:30,090 --> 00:12:34,330
Now, when are you going to realize that
you're the one that I long for?
153
00:12:36,490 --> 00:12:39,350
I want you so much.
154
00:12:41,050 --> 00:12:42,350
I need you.
155
00:12:44,390 --> 00:12:45,390
I'm warning you.
156
00:12:52,780 --> 00:12:53,780
for this.
157
00:12:53,900 --> 00:12:58,760
I'm not falling for your gorgeous smile,
your beautiful eyes, and your soft,
158
00:12:58,860 --> 00:12:59,860
pouty lips.
159
00:13:00,260 --> 00:13:01,260
Cut!
160
00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:05,980
Cut? You can't call cut. Only the
director can call cut.
161
00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:09,740
Well, it says I'm supposed to kiss her
passionately here. So?
162
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:14,600
Well, I'm a happily married man. I feel
a little uncomfortable kissing another
163
00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:19,220
woman. Why don't you do what I do? Just
close your eyes and think about the
164
00:13:19,220 --> 00:13:20,220
money.
165
00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:25,740
You're not cheating on your wife.
166
00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:27,280
You're acting.
167
00:13:27,860 --> 00:13:28,980
It's part of the job.
168
00:13:29,540 --> 00:13:35,420
Well, I don't know, Jake. Look, CW, if
you want to be an actor, you
169
00:13:35,420 --> 00:13:41,640
have to forget who you are. You have to
become the role.
170
00:13:43,540 --> 00:13:44,920
Become the role.
171
00:13:46,820 --> 00:13:49,940
Become the role. I can do it now. I love
this guy.
172
00:13:52,970 --> 00:13:54,350
I'm sorry. It won't happen again.
173
00:13:55,150 --> 00:13:56,150
Whatever.
174
00:13:57,370 --> 00:14:01,970
Okay. This time, C .W., I want you to
make the move on her.
175
00:14:02,670 --> 00:14:04,390
Yes. Okay.
176
00:14:04,890 --> 00:14:06,330
From that last speech, guys.
177
00:14:06,550 --> 00:14:08,610
And... Action.
178
00:14:09,570 --> 00:14:10,590
I'm warning you.
179
00:14:11,270 --> 00:14:12,770
I'm not falling for this.
180
00:14:13,190 --> 00:14:18,530
I'm not falling for your gorgeous smile,
your beautiful eyes, and your soft,
181
00:14:18,690 --> 00:14:20,730
pouty, pouty lips.
182
00:14:26,990 --> 00:14:29,470
I'm sorry. I can't do this. Cut!
183
00:14:30,610 --> 00:14:34,810
Look, for the last time, you either do
this or you're fired.
184
00:14:37,550 --> 00:14:40,230
You can't fire me because I quit.
185
00:14:40,750 --> 00:14:45,990
I refuse to be exploited for my good
looks and my body.
186
00:14:57,290 --> 00:15:00,790
Now, we've got warm air coming through
here and cold air coming through there.
187
00:15:01,030 --> 00:15:03,130
Now, what do we get when we combine the
two?
188
00:15:03,830 --> 00:15:05,450
Wind. Excellent.
189
00:15:05,890 --> 00:15:07,350
All righty, mister.
190
00:15:07,870 --> 00:15:09,290
Let's make a twister.
191
00:15:11,450 --> 00:15:14,550
But first, we must don protective eye
there.
192
00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:10,180
Oh, Richie.
193
00:18:10,500 --> 00:18:11,700
Richie. Oh,
194
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:15,640
Richie. Richie.
195
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,140
Are you okay?
196
00:18:19,700 --> 00:18:21,280
That was fun.
197
00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:25,120
Can we do it again?
198
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:27,000
No way.
199
00:18:27,860 --> 00:18:30,060
Do you know what will make a great
science project?
200
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:32,820
What? A pinwheel.
201
00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:39,540
Guys better clean this mess up before
Mom sees it.
202
00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:42,580
Place look like it was hit by a tornado.
203
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:49,840
Hey,
204
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:57,200
movie star.
205
00:18:57,340 --> 00:19:00,820
Oh, hey, honey. I thought you'd be in
bed.
206
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:02,320
Are you kidding?
207
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:05,720
I want to know what happened on the set.
Give me every juicy detail.
208
00:19:09,550 --> 00:19:12,410
Well, first I did a fight scene. Wow.
209
00:19:12,830 --> 00:19:14,910
Then I met Nicole Moses.
210
00:19:15,190 --> 00:19:16,930
Wow. And then I quit.
211
00:19:17,150 --> 00:19:18,150
What?
212
00:19:20,030 --> 00:19:22,510
Harriet, they wanted me to do a love
scene with her.
213
00:19:23,190 --> 00:19:24,190
What?
214
00:19:25,490 --> 00:19:28,310
Yeah. Real intense and sexy.
215
00:19:28,970 --> 00:19:30,150
And on crates.
216
00:19:32,230 --> 00:19:34,990
Well, you know, Carl, most men would
have found that exciting.
217
00:19:35,590 --> 00:19:39,970
Well, I know. I mean, I would have too,
but... Well, when it came time to kiss
218
00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:42,090
her, I... I was embarrassed.
219
00:19:43,210 --> 00:19:44,590
Because there were too many people
around?
220
00:19:45,210 --> 00:19:46,210
No.
221
00:19:46,510 --> 00:19:48,470
Because I felt that I'd be cheating on
you.
222
00:19:52,730 --> 00:19:53,730
Carl.
223
00:19:53,890 --> 00:19:56,730
Yeah? Those are really good answers.
224
00:20:00,030 --> 00:20:03,090
I don't know, honey. I guess I might cut
out to be an actor.
225
00:20:03,690 --> 00:20:05,250
You're not married to a star.
226
00:20:05,770 --> 00:20:07,270
Oh, yes, I am.
227
00:20:07,830 --> 00:20:11,590
When it comes to a husband and father,
you're a superstar.
228
00:20:12,850 --> 00:20:19,850
You know, Carl, you may never win an
Oscar,
229
00:20:19,950 --> 00:20:23,130
but tonight you won yourself a Harry.
Come on.
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