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1
00:00:11,530 --> 00:00:15,390
My dubious cutie. Steve, it is too late
to be hanging out with you and your
2
00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:16,470
Jurassic muck looks.
3
00:00:17,430 --> 00:00:19,390
I'm tired and I want to go to bed.
4
00:00:19,790 --> 00:00:23,050
Ah, but you'll be too excited to sleep
once you see that.
5
00:02:03,450 --> 00:02:04,450
straight hours.
6
00:02:14,890 --> 00:02:17,810
I'll go down and tell the kids to turn
off the music so you can get some sleep.
7
00:02:18,070 --> 00:02:19,250
Don't worry about it, sweetheart.
8
00:02:19,990 --> 00:02:21,890
That TV won't bother you.
9
00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:14,100
Richie, stop yelling.
10
00:03:16,220 --> 00:03:17,220
I'm not.
11
00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:18,760
Hey, you want to shoot some hoops?
12
00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:22,120
No.
13
00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:24,120
What's the matter with you?
14
00:03:25,020 --> 00:03:29,580
I went to a party last night, and now
I'm real tired.
15
00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:33,520
Well, well.
16
00:03:34,020 --> 00:03:35,620
Look who's up at the crack of noon.
17
00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:40,000
I didn't get to bed until 7 a .m.
18
00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:42,020
Oh, good defense, Edward.
19
00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:45,740
Son, were you drinking?
20
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,760
I blew the foam off a few.
21
00:03:49,220 --> 00:03:50,220
Uh -huh.
22
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:55,700
Hey, Rich, um, I'd like to speak to
Edward alone, so... So I should get
23
00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:57,040
Thanks.
24
00:04:02,780 --> 00:04:08,620
Well, that party you went to last night
must have been a real doozy.
25
00:04:09,140 --> 00:04:10,140
Yeah.
26
00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:12,000
The frat house really rocked.
27
00:04:12,220 --> 00:04:15,880
Music, babes, good food, drinking.
28
00:04:17,060 --> 00:04:19,700
Well, we had a keg in the tub.
29
00:04:21,380 --> 00:04:23,120
And a keg in the kitchen.
30
00:04:24,620 --> 00:04:26,600
And a keg in the coat closet.
31
00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:31,920
Do you find this amusing, Edward?
32
00:04:32,140 --> 00:04:33,140
No, sir.
33
00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:38,380
Because I don't find it remotely
amusing.
34
00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:42,000
When my teenage son comes home drunk.
35
00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:44,920
Oh, Dad, I'm 19 years old now.
36
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,140
I'm in college now anyway.
37
00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:50,880
And besides, last night was the first
time I got drunk in my entire life.
38
00:04:51,540 --> 00:04:54,420
Well, Edwards, you know, you are
underage.
39
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,960
So that one better be your last.
40
00:05:02,620 --> 00:05:04,540
Come on, Dad, lighten up.
41
00:05:05,280 --> 00:05:07,060
What do you mean, lighten up?
42
00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:15,100
Mother and I send you to college to get
an education, not to party hardy.
43
00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:20,180
Look, I study hard all week. When the
weekend comes, I want to relax.
44
00:05:20,500 --> 00:05:23,560
I mean, that's the whole reason why I
joined a fraternity, so I can have some
45
00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:25,460
fun. I don't object to fun.
46
00:05:25,980 --> 00:05:27,380
I love fun.
47
00:05:27,780 --> 00:05:30,800
In fact, I'm the grand funk master of
fun.
48
00:05:32,940 --> 00:05:37,320
But I don't need to take a drink to have
a good time, and neither do you.
49
00:05:43,790 --> 00:05:44,790
Always do this.
50
00:05:46,810 --> 00:05:48,170
Why do I always do what?
51
00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:49,389
Limit me.
52
00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:52,510
Build walls around me. Edward, this is
not about walls.
53
00:05:53,670 --> 00:05:55,010
This is about roads.
54
00:05:56,210 --> 00:06:00,930
And drinking will take you down a road
that leads to a dead end.
55
00:06:03,210 --> 00:06:07,870
Look, Dad, I don't see how having a few
beers with my friends is going to hurt
56
00:06:07,870 --> 00:06:11,070
me. Edward, here is the bottom line.
57
00:06:11,850 --> 00:06:18,070
The next day that I catch you drinking
again will be the very last day that you
58
00:06:18,070 --> 00:06:19,210
live in this house.
59
00:06:30,010 --> 00:06:31,190
Steve Urkel.
60
00:06:55,050 --> 00:06:56,050
Anytime you're ready.
61
00:06:58,210 --> 00:06:59,510
How much did this job pay?
62
00:07:00,730 --> 00:07:02,150
Ten bucks an hour plus tips.
63
00:07:02,570 --> 00:07:03,770
Oh, goody, goody.
64
00:07:04,170 --> 00:07:07,730
You see, I need this job so I can fix my
friend's floor. I blew a hole through
65
00:07:07,730 --> 00:07:08,830
it. Who cares?
66
00:07:09,350 --> 00:07:10,350
Well, he does.
67
00:07:11,850 --> 00:07:14,850
Why, the people sitting on the couch
downstairs can look right up his boxers.
68
00:07:17,750 --> 00:07:19,530
Look, will you please get on with it?
69
00:07:37,580 --> 00:07:38,580
Yes, you are.
70
00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:44,860
Your music isn't the kind my customers
want to hear.
71
00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:50,940
Cafe Java customers come here to mellow
out. I need a jazz musician.
72
00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:55,400
A cool, charismatic guy with a dynamic
stage presence.
73
00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:57,760
Ow.
74
00:07:58,980 --> 00:07:59,980
Ow!
75
00:08:00,420 --> 00:08:01,420
What is it?
76
00:08:01,740 --> 00:08:06,080
You may not want me, but wait till you
meet the other me.
77
00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:15,740
Folks, folks, folks.
78
00:08:16,220 --> 00:08:22,220
Sit back, relax, and enjoy the cool jazz
tones of Stefan Urkel.
79
00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:35,960
Thank you, thank you. Right back at you.
80
00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:47,920
Stick around.
81
00:08:48,100 --> 00:08:51,360
Tonight, we're going to do this cafe my
way.
82
00:09:32,010 --> 00:09:34,290
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Right
back at you.
83
00:09:34,610 --> 00:09:38,930
You know, as I look around the room, I
see so many beautiful women.
84
00:09:41,150 --> 00:09:46,590
I'd like to lay out a few insights into
my psyche. A few philosophical thoughts
85
00:09:46,590 --> 00:09:47,590
I'd like to call.
86
00:09:54,290 --> 00:09:55,910
Stefan's tips for a better life.
87
00:10:06,030 --> 00:10:08,890
In this world, there are givers and
there are takers.
88
00:10:09,350 --> 00:10:13,230
The takers eat better, but the givers,
oh, they sleep better.
89
00:10:16,210 --> 00:10:23,190
At least
90
00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:27,150
once in your life, own a convertible.
But buy a windscreen so you don't mess
91
00:10:27,150 --> 00:10:28,150
your hair.
92
00:10:34,730 --> 00:10:38,910
Oh, and don't burn your bridges. It's
amazing how many times we have to cross
93
00:10:38,910 --> 00:10:40,030
the same river.
94
00:10:40,370 --> 00:10:42,510
Oh, that is so heavy.
95
00:10:50,110 --> 00:10:52,730
And always have a friend who owns a
truck.
96
00:10:58,110 --> 00:11:01,790
And finally, for Stefan's most important
tip of all.
97
00:11:02,170 --> 00:11:05,550
Always, and I do mean always, be
romantic.
98
00:11:19,390 --> 00:11:21,330
Let me love you, baby.
99
00:11:22,770 --> 00:11:27,170
Till you feel my love for you is real.
100
00:11:29,710 --> 00:11:31,990
Paula, you're always acting like an old
lady.
101
00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:33,710
You even walk like one.
102
00:11:40,690 --> 00:11:41,690
Edward.
103
00:11:42,190 --> 00:11:43,190
Uh -oh.
104
00:11:45,910 --> 00:11:48,290
You know it is 4 o 'clock in the
morning.
105
00:11:49,070 --> 00:11:52,010
Really? Oh, my watch must be slow.
106
00:11:53,510 --> 00:11:55,110
Edward, you've been drinking again.
107
00:11:55,610 --> 00:11:57,030
Okay, maybe a couple.
108
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:07,860
Were you drinking, too?
109
00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:09,320
No, I swore off.
110
00:12:09,620 --> 00:12:10,840
Booze gives me a British accent.
111
00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:16,640
I'm the designated driver.
112
00:12:16,940 --> 00:12:20,500
And may I say, in Eddie's defense, he
was a lot drunker before he threw up in
113
00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:21,500
designated car.
114
00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:25,060
Thanks a lot, Waldo.
115
00:12:25,460 --> 00:12:27,980
You know, you could win the gold medal
in the stupid Olympics.
116
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:36,880
It's time to go to bed.
117
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,300
Whatever you say, Funk Master.
118
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:53,160
And after you've slept it off, you can
pack your
119
00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:54,160
things.
120
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,020
Pack my stuff?
121
00:12:58,240 --> 00:12:59,240
That's right.
122
00:12:59,620 --> 00:13:04,140
I warned you, Edward, that the very next
time that I caught you drinking again,
123
00:13:04,650 --> 00:13:05,930
that you'd have to move out.
124
00:13:06,710 --> 00:13:08,370
But, Dad... No buts, Edward.
125
00:13:09,870 --> 00:13:12,670
Now, you have until the weekend to find
you another place to live.
126
00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:28,290
Ladies and gentlemen, the one, the only,
Stefan Urkel.
127
00:13:39,050 --> 00:13:40,810
I have a bittersweet announcement to
make.
128
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:43,870
Tonight will be my last night here at
the Cafe Johnson.
129
00:13:44,810 --> 00:13:50,770
I came here to pay a debt to a friend.
And thanks to your generosity, I've done
130
00:13:50,770 --> 00:13:52,090
that far sooner than expected.
131
00:13:53,090 --> 00:13:56,490
So, I thought tonight should be your
night.
132
00:13:58,630 --> 00:13:59,810
Are there any requests?
133
00:14:00,190 --> 00:14:01,550
Will you marry me?
134
00:14:03,370 --> 00:14:04,890
Are there any other requests?
135
00:14:06,250 --> 00:14:07,310
I have one.
136
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:14,530
Ladies and gentlemen, this lovely young
lady is Laura Winslow.
137
00:14:21,270 --> 00:14:25,990
Now remember her name so you can all
tell your kids you once saw the perfect
138
00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:26,990
woman.
139
00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:30,150
So what's your request?
140
00:14:30,690 --> 00:14:32,250
Well, I'd like to sing a song.
141
00:14:32,790 --> 00:14:33,810
Is that so?
142
00:14:34,050 --> 00:14:35,690
Yes, and dedicate it to you.
143
00:14:35,970 --> 00:14:38,730
What more could a man ask for?
144
00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:48,580
Now, what song would you like to sing?
145
00:14:49,020 --> 00:14:53,660
Well, I realize that you have to leave,
even though it breaks my heart.
146
00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:56,200
But I want you to know that I'll wait
for you.
147
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,000
You will?
148
00:14:58,240 --> 00:14:59,240
Yes.
149
00:14:59,580 --> 00:15:03,420
And until you return, I'll be saving all
my love for you.
150
00:15:16,270 --> 00:15:19,250
It's all that we share.
151
00:15:20,630 --> 00:15:27,150
You've got your family and they need you
there.
152
00:15:27,650 --> 00:15:34,410
Though I try to resist being there on
your
153
00:15:34,410 --> 00:15:36,810
list. But no...
154
00:15:58,250 --> 00:16:05,130
Just a few minutes more Gonna get that
old feeling
155
00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:12,010
When you walk through that door Cause
tonight is
156
00:16:12,010 --> 00:16:18,750
the night For feeling alright We'll be
making
157
00:16:18,750 --> 00:16:19,750
love
158
00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:11,700
Hey, Waldo.
159
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:15,680
I'm all packed.
160
00:17:19,500 --> 00:17:20,720
Eddie, you can't move in with me.
161
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:24,940
What? I figured I'd wait until your arms
were full so you couldn't hit me.
162
00:17:26,940 --> 00:17:28,160
Waldo, what's going on here?
163
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:33,140
Look, Eddie, aren't best friends
supposed to tell each other the truth,
164
00:17:33,140 --> 00:17:34,140
it hurts?
165
00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:35,620
Yeah.
166
00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:37,600
Well, the truth is, I don't like it when
you drink.
167
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:39,880
Well, why not?
168
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:41,400
You get mean.
169
00:17:41,860 --> 00:17:42,860
You make fun of me.
170
00:17:43,260 --> 00:17:44,880
I do not. Yes.
171
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:48,900
Remember, you said I'd win the gold
medal in the stupid Olympics.
172
00:17:49,740 --> 00:17:52,180
Well, I got news for you, Eddie. I
looked it up. There's no such thing.
173
00:18:03,220 --> 00:18:07,840
Look, Waldo, I'm sorry if I hurt your
feelings, but I really need a place to
174
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:08,839
stay.
175
00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:10,360
To move in with one of your drinking
buddies.
176
00:18:18,580 --> 00:18:21,660
Eddie, when you drink, you're a
different person.
177
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:23,980
And that person's not my friend.
178
00:18:25,020 --> 00:18:26,280
And he's not your friend either.
179
00:18:30,900 --> 00:18:31,900
Gentlemen.
180
00:18:32,180 --> 00:18:33,980
Hi, Mr. Winslow. Bye, Mr. Winslow.
181
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:37,960
Why aren't you going with him?
182
00:18:38,730 --> 00:18:40,590
A change of plans.
183
00:18:41,030 --> 00:18:42,670
I'm moving into the frat house.
184
00:18:43,610 --> 00:18:45,010
Oh. Yeah.
185
00:18:46,110 --> 00:18:49,990
Six bedrooms, 18 guys, one bathroom.
186
00:18:50,650 --> 00:18:51,750
Lots of fun.
187
00:18:51,970 --> 00:18:52,970
I bet.
188
00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:13,740
Well, I guess I better get going. Mm
-hmm.
189
00:19:14,260 --> 00:19:15,280
Take care of yourself.
190
00:19:16,940 --> 00:19:17,940
Yeah.
191
00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:24,760
Dad.
192
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:30,840
For what it's worth, you were right.
193
00:19:33,460 --> 00:19:34,460
About what?
194
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:37,760
About drinking.
195
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:43,280
I'm starting to see it is a dead -end
road.
196
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:48,840
Got me kicked out of the house, and it
just cost me my best friend.
197
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:52,580
You know, it's a funny thing about
drinking.
198
00:19:54,660 --> 00:19:58,960
You don't realize what it's doing to you
until it's done it to you.
199
00:20:01,140 --> 00:20:02,480
Yeah, well, I made a decision.
200
00:20:04,780 --> 00:20:06,100
It's not going to do it to me.
201
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:08,560
You mean that, Edward?
202
00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:11,120
You bet I do.
203
00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:38,640
We are.
204
00:20:41,350 --> 00:20:43,150
We're not going to have to pack these
things again, are we?
205
00:20:43,590 --> 00:20:44,730
No way, Dad.
206
00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:46,870
Go ahead.
207
00:20:56,570 --> 00:21:03,330
Tonight at 8, Robert and Tia are
208
00:21:03,330 --> 00:21:07,570
shocked when they find a pregnancy test
at Niecy's house on all of us. Then at
209
00:21:07,570 --> 00:21:11,360
9... After reuniting with her mother,
Veronica searched for her classmate's
210
00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:15,160
leads to clues in a bigger mystery on an
all -new Veronica Mars.
211
00:21:15,580 --> 00:21:19,300
Now stay tuned for Dance 360 next on UPN
27.
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