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1
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,260
What's the matter with her?
2
00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:07,820
I don't know. What's she picking on me
for? I didn't do anything.
3
00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:10,640
Go. I don't think they like strangers.
4
00:00:32,129 --> 00:00:38,050
Mrs. Winslow, you are just so... Well,
5
00:00:41,690 --> 00:00:44,390
are you just going to sit there or are
you going to do something about it?
6
00:00:46,270 --> 00:00:47,510
I'm going to do something about it.
7
00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:04,920
I am, I am.
8
00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:09,860
What do you want, Steve?
9
00:01:10,260 --> 00:01:12,580
Well, have either of you seen my tummy
stone?
10
00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:14,400
I need to remove my calluses.
11
00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:18,120
Do you need it now?
12
00:01:18,420 --> 00:01:22,220
The instructions clearly state, best
used when epidermal tissues are moist.
13
00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:27,140
Steve, we're trying to have a romantic
moment here.
14
00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:52,720
I'm one of the top cowboy.
15
00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:55,540
He's happened to be my traveling date.
16
00:01:56,620 --> 00:02:02,640
Uh, I know I'm taking a big risk by
asking this, but, uh, where you going?
17
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,000
The airport.
18
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:08,759
No, after that.
19
00:02:08,979 --> 00:02:09,979
The airplane.
20
00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:14,880
No, after that.
21
00:02:15,220 --> 00:02:16,220
Another airport.
22
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:18,880
Where you gonna end up?
23
00:02:34,190 --> 00:02:35,190
Porto Santo?
24
00:02:35,770 --> 00:02:39,870
Ah, yes, Porto Santo. A small island off
the coast of Honduras.
25
00:02:40,170 --> 00:02:42,470
Average temperature, a balmy 84 degrees.
26
00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:47,050
Population, 1 ,142. National pastime,
cleaning up after hurricanes.
27
00:02:49,250 --> 00:02:53,090
Hey, Waldo. Hey, we better hurry up or
we're going to get you to the airport on
28
00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:54,090
time.
29
00:02:55,810 --> 00:02:57,410
Wait, wait, wait, Waldo.
30
00:02:57,810 --> 00:03:01,730
Why on earth would you want to go to
this Porto Santo place?
31
00:03:02,290 --> 00:03:03,290
One word.
32
00:03:03,550 --> 00:03:04,550
Good sauces.
33
00:03:08,210 --> 00:03:11,290
I've been selected to study with one of
the great chefs of Latin cuisine.
34
00:03:11,690 --> 00:03:15,150
Juan Carlos de Manuel de Luis Romanos
Escobar.
35
00:03:16,570 --> 00:03:17,570
Wow.
36
00:03:18,290 --> 00:03:22,090
Ruiz Arberos de Miguel Esperanto
Villanueva. Oh, gee.
37
00:03:22,510 --> 00:03:25,350
Gomez Carnales Felipe Julio Bustamante.
38
00:03:52,430 --> 00:03:55,890
We played dodgeball, another useful
skill in my adult life.
39
00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:59,990
Well, listen, I couldn't wait for you to
get home. I have terrific news.
40
00:04:00,270 --> 00:04:01,270
Oh, Steve moved out.
41
00:04:02,890 --> 00:04:06,350
Even better. I found a very nice young
man for you today.
42
00:04:07,610 --> 00:04:08,610
Uh -oh.
43
00:04:08,970 --> 00:04:10,850
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
44
00:04:11,550 --> 00:04:14,850
He's a freshman in college, and he's
majoring in geology.
45
00:04:16,230 --> 00:04:17,230
Dweeb alert.
46
00:04:18,890 --> 00:04:20,970
How can you say that? You haven't even
met him yet.
47
00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:23,400
What was his name, Mom?
48
00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:25,220
Junior.
49
00:04:28,420 --> 00:04:29,420
Junior?
50
00:04:29,740 --> 00:04:31,720
What's the matter, Mom? You couldn't
find a Skippy?
51
00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:35,660
It's just what they call him. You know,
it's a nickname.
52
00:04:36,140 --> 00:04:39,360
Ma, I am not going on a blind date with
somebody named Junior.
53
00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:41,940
Okay, fine.
54
00:04:43,060 --> 00:04:44,280
But let me ask you something.
55
00:04:44,980 --> 00:04:46,780
What are your plans for this Saturday
night?
56
00:04:47,660 --> 00:04:51,160
Well, Waldo's out of town, so I plan on
hanging out with my good friend, Max.
57
00:04:52,010 --> 00:04:54,870
All right, Laura, I promised Mary
Puckett I'd give her a back wax.
58
00:04:55,970 --> 00:04:56,970
Hairy Mary.
59
00:05:00,030 --> 00:05:01,410
That could be all nighter.
60
00:05:06,450 --> 00:05:08,390
All right, tell Junior to pick me up at
8.
61
00:05:08,690 --> 00:05:09,710
That's my girl.
62
00:05:22,410 --> 00:05:23,410
Wish I could say the same.
63
00:05:23,870 --> 00:05:28,210
Oh, see, guys? I have terrible, awful,
very bad news. I know. You're here.
64
00:05:29,270 --> 00:05:30,270
No, Dad.
65
00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:31,490
Waldo's been arrested.
66
00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:34,270
Yes. He's in the Porto Santo, Cusco.
67
00:05:34,630 --> 00:05:35,930
Well, why? What happened?
68
00:05:36,310 --> 00:05:38,450
Oh, we don't know. We had a very bad
connection.
69
00:05:38,810 --> 00:05:41,670
All we know is that Waldo was scared and
very upset.
70
00:05:42,250 --> 00:05:44,230
Well, I better call his father right
now.
71
00:05:44,890 --> 00:05:48,450
Oh, no, you can't. The Waldo family went
kayaking in the Dolby Desert.
72
00:05:50,230 --> 00:05:51,610
But there's no water there.
73
00:05:52,140 --> 00:05:53,380
They think that's the challenge.
74
00:05:56,620 --> 00:05:58,880
What are we going to do, Dad?
75
00:06:00,540 --> 00:06:01,720
Well, I'll tell you what I'm going to
do.
76
00:06:02,420 --> 00:06:06,000
I'm going to hop on a plane to Puerto
Santo and get poor Waldo out of jail.
77
00:06:06,420 --> 00:06:08,400
Can I be a big guy? You're a cop.
78
00:06:08,620 --> 00:06:11,240
You can talk to the official and
negotiate his release.
79
00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:13,240
I'm going to go with you. Me too.
80
00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:15,100
Oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry. No way, guys.
81
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:17,980
But we have to go. You're going to need
an interpreter.
82
00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:19,920
Well, you guys don't speak Spanish.
83
00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:22,640
No. But we do speak wild out.
84
00:06:36,300 --> 00:06:37,780
They call that an airport?
85
00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:40,700
A shack with a flashlight on the roof?
86
00:06:55,020 --> 00:06:56,020
Jaime Gutierrez Garcia.
87
00:06:56,860 --> 00:06:59,800
I am, uh, Lieutenant Carl Winslow,
Chicago PD.
88
00:07:00,540 --> 00:07:03,420
I see. And how may I be of service to
you?
89
00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,780
Well, we're here to secure the release
of Waldo Faldo.
90
00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:09,100
El Desperado?
91
00:07:11,460 --> 00:07:13,720
Waldo? El Desperado?
92
00:07:14,420 --> 00:07:16,020
We know him as El Estúpido.
93
00:07:17,900 --> 00:07:21,900
Oh, yes, he hides his cleverness behind
a mask video scene.
94
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:25,510
Just what is Waldo in charge with?
95
00:07:25,730 --> 00:07:30,050
He was apprehended while trying to
smuggle a rare antiquity out of the
96
00:07:30,630 --> 00:07:32,210
A rare antiquity?
97
00:07:36,130 --> 00:07:37,870
I heart Porto Santo.
98
00:07:39,310 --> 00:07:41,730
This is your idea of a rare antiquity?
99
00:07:41,950 --> 00:07:43,110
Well, excuse me.
100
00:07:43,950 --> 00:07:47,890
We have only been a nation for five
years. This is the oldest boat in the
101
00:07:47,890 --> 00:07:48,890
country.
102
00:07:50,230 --> 00:07:51,470
Uh, look.
103
00:07:53,450 --> 00:07:58,170
and I are both officers of the law, and
I was hoping as a show of professional
104
00:07:58,170 --> 00:08:00,250
courtesy that you and I could work
something out.
105
00:08:00,790 --> 00:08:02,790
I think that would be possible.
106
00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:08,370
If he were to pay his fine, it would
save us the costly expense of a trial
107
00:08:08,370 --> 00:08:10,070
fixing our electric stool.
108
00:08:11,030 --> 00:08:12,510
Don't you mean electric chair?
109
00:08:12,750 --> 00:08:14,390
We are a small country.
110
00:08:16,850 --> 00:08:18,890
Well, how much is his fine?
111
00:08:19,150 --> 00:08:20,150
$10 ,000.
112
00:08:20,530 --> 00:08:22,170
What? That's outrageous.
113
00:08:23,340 --> 00:08:25,320
I demand to see the chief of police.
114
00:08:25,700 --> 00:08:26,900
You're looking at him.
115
00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:28,339
The mayor.
116
00:08:28,340 --> 00:08:29,340
Speaking.
117
00:08:29,820 --> 00:08:32,960
The governor. I blush at my
accomplishments.
118
00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:36,140
Wow.
119
00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:40,059
Aren't you a busy bee? Why, what are you
doing in your spare time?
120
00:08:40,380 --> 00:08:42,080
I make ceramic bowls.
121
00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:46,560
All right, that's it. I am going to the
American embassy.
122
00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:51,260
Ah, the American embassy is no more. It
is now a kinkos.
123
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:54,020
They're everywhere, you know.
124
00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:57,860
Hey, you know, them and Starbucks, you
just see them popping up on every
125
00:08:58,820 --> 00:09:03,420
Can we at least speak to Waldo? Well, of
course. I am a reasonable man.
126
00:09:08,020 --> 00:09:09,680
Desperado, you have visitors.
127
00:09:10,420 --> 00:09:11,420
Who is it?
128
00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:12,700
It's me, Steve.
129
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,500
Merkle? Yeah, and me, Eddie.
130
00:09:15,860 --> 00:09:17,120
I'm here too, Waldo.
131
00:09:25,670 --> 00:09:28,010
That's it. If you pay the fine, he may
go free.
132
00:09:28,370 --> 00:09:31,090
Otherwise, allow me to recommend an
excellent lawyer.
133
00:09:32,370 --> 00:09:34,450
J .G. Garcia, attorney at law.
134
00:09:34,910 --> 00:09:36,310
How may I help you?
135
00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:25,240
It's like a prison in here.
136
00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:30,420
Actually, Waldo, it is a prison.
137
00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:32,500
Oh, God, it's worse than I thought.
138
00:10:33,580 --> 00:10:34,820
I'm losing track of time.
139
00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:36,340
Is Hillary Clinton still president?
140
00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:40,500
Waldo, it's only been four days.
141
00:10:41,020 --> 00:10:42,360
It seems like five.
142
00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:43,820
I can't take it in here.
143
00:10:44,260 --> 00:10:45,760
The walls are closing in on me.
144
00:10:49,770 --> 00:10:51,550
We gotta get him out of there. He's
about to snap.
145
00:10:56,650 --> 00:10:57,650
Now, look, Waldo.
146
00:10:58,770 --> 00:11:02,730
You have been unjustly incarcerated by a
corrupt official for a crime that you
147
00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:03,730
did not commit.
148
00:11:03,790 --> 00:11:06,290
Now, we are not leaving Puerto Santo
without you.
149
00:11:06,950 --> 00:11:07,950
Hey, big guy.
150
00:11:07,970 --> 00:11:10,710
What? Are you thinking what I think
you're thinking?
151
00:11:11,610 --> 00:11:12,610
Yes.
152
00:11:12,730 --> 00:11:17,930
Tonight, you, Eddie, and myself are
gonna bust Waldo out of jail.
153
00:11:40,439 --> 00:11:43,320
Cool. Hello, ship. Can I crack you a
nut?
154
00:11:44,580 --> 00:11:45,720
No, thanks, Grandma.
155
00:11:46,350 --> 00:11:49,530
If you don't pull that chin up off the
floor, you're going to get a rug burn.
156
00:11:51,450 --> 00:11:52,450
Sorry.
157
00:11:53,150 --> 00:11:54,150
What's the matter, honey?
158
00:11:55,750 --> 00:11:59,690
Well, I let my mom talk me into going
out on a blind date. She's picking me up
159
00:11:59,690 --> 00:12:00,690
in three hours.
160
00:12:00,710 --> 00:12:02,870
Oh, I understand. He's a college man.
161
00:12:03,270 --> 00:12:04,670
Yeah, he's majoring in geology.
162
00:12:05,330 --> 00:12:06,330
Uh -oh.
163
00:12:06,730 --> 00:12:07,730
Dweeb alert.
164
00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:21,440
Pizza for Harriet Winslow?
165
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:23,480
Come in, come in.
166
00:12:25,700 --> 00:12:27,600
I'm Laura.
167
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:30,060
Oh, put it on the table. Winslow.
168
00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:32,180
I'm David.
169
00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:34,020
That'll be $11 .46.
170
00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:35,220
Phillips.
171
00:12:37,380 --> 00:12:38,780
$15. Keep the change.
172
00:12:39,220 --> 00:12:40,220
Thanks.
173
00:12:45,780 --> 00:12:49,460
What? Oh, I'm sorry. I don't mean to
stare. It's just that...
174
00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:51,960
Boy, you're so pretty.
175
00:12:55,220 --> 00:12:56,560
Well, you're not so bad yourself.
176
00:12:57,060 --> 00:13:00,300
I see Juliet's Pizza really has a Romeo
working for them.
177
00:13:02,020 --> 00:13:03,020
Hey, thanks.
178
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:10,860
Well... Listen, I know we just met, but
I was just wondering, do you
179
00:13:10,860 --> 00:13:11,739
have a boyfriend?
180
00:13:11,740 --> 00:13:14,420
No, she's completely unattached.
181
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,860
I get off work in a couple hours. Can I
take you to dinner?
182
00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:24,340
Anything but pizza.
183
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:27,220
Oh, I'd love to, but I already have a
date tonight.
184
00:13:27,900 --> 00:13:29,000
Well, maybe some other time.
185
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:30,400
You have my address.
186
00:13:30,820 --> 00:13:31,820
And your phone number.
187
00:13:31,900 --> 00:13:32,900
Use it.
188
00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:33,980
I will.
189
00:13:35,180 --> 00:13:36,420
Bye. Bye.
190
00:13:37,100 --> 00:13:38,100
Okay, see ya.
191
00:13:49,100 --> 00:13:51,860
Instead of going out with Juliet's
Romeo, I'm stuck with Mother's Junior.
192
00:14:36,580 --> 00:14:39,960
We're here to bust you out.
193
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:43,080
Thanks, guys, but I got three friends
from the States who are going to handle
194
00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:44,080
it.
195
00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:46,340
It's us in disguise.
196
00:14:47,660 --> 00:14:48,660
Oh, cool.
197
00:14:50,620 --> 00:14:51,620
Where's Garcia?
198
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:56,020
He went to Kinko. He elected himself
judge today, so he wanted some new
199
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:57,020
cards.
200
00:14:58,300 --> 00:14:59,300
Hey,
201
00:14:59,820 --> 00:15:00,820
where'd you get the neat old truck?
202
00:15:02,460 --> 00:15:04,220
Hurts. It does?
203
00:15:04,540 --> 00:15:05,700
Then use a seat cushion.
204
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,080
Here's the deal, Waldo.
205
00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:13,360
You be quiet, and we'll get you out of
here.
206
00:15:13,620 --> 00:15:14,620
Well, make it snappy.
207
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,320
The guy in the next cell keeps calling
me Chiquita.
208
00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:35,120
Nancy!
209
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:48,240
I'm free.
210
00:17:48,340 --> 00:17:49,340
I want to take.
211
00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:50,720
I want a woman.
212
00:17:50,940 --> 00:17:52,540
I want to summer the night away.
213
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:01,440
Aha!
214
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:05,180
You are all under arrest for destroying
ancient architecture.
215
00:18:06,620 --> 00:18:07,680
Ancient architecture?
216
00:18:08,180 --> 00:18:09,340
This is a mud hut.
217
00:18:09,820 --> 00:18:11,580
It is antique mud.
218
00:18:13,580 --> 00:18:18,840
And as the newly appointed judge, I
sentence you to $10 ,000 apiece or 10
219
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:19,599
in jail.
220
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:22,280
Wait a minute, wait a minute. We don't
have that kind of money.
221
00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:26,600
What is wrong with you people? Why are
you so stingy?
222
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,640
Well, because $10 ,000 is a lot of
money.
223
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:31,960
It's not here.
224
00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:33,620
Our money ain't worth diddly.
225
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:40,100
Why? The Puerto Santo dollar has a
different rate of exchange than the
226
00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:42,680
dollar. Didn't you see the poster at
Kinko's?
227
00:18:44,620 --> 00:18:50,000
Wow. So how much is 10 ,000 Puerto Santo
dollars in American money?
228
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:51,280
Let's see.
229
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:17,220
I'm glad everything worked out.
230
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:21,340
Oh, yeah, I'll leave a message on the
Waldo's answering machine that Waldo is
231
00:19:21,340 --> 00:19:22,340
fine.
232
00:19:22,540 --> 00:19:23,980
Well, safe, anyway.
233
00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:26,679
Okay, honey.
234
00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:27,680
All right, bye -bye.
235
00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:33,200
Oh, Laura, you look great.
236
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:34,920
Thanks, Mom.
237
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,760
Looking more like your mother every day.
238
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,700
Can't get a smile out of you, huh? Not
until I say goodnight to Junior.
239
00:19:43,260 --> 00:19:44,460
Oh, God, dear.
240
00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:48,880
a curfew tonight?
241
00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:52,900
Hi,
242
00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:57,560
Laura. David, what are you doing here?
I'm here for our date.
243
00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:58,919
Hi, Junior.
244
00:19:58,920 --> 00:19:59,920
Hi, Mrs. Winslow.
245
00:20:01,940 --> 00:20:02,940
Junior?
246
00:20:03,180 --> 00:20:04,180
You're David?
247
00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:05,899
That's my nickname.
248
00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:07,100
My dad's name is David, too.
249
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,820
This is the nice young man I was telling
you about.
250
00:20:10,020 --> 00:20:13,060
See, your mother ordered pizza when she
knew you'd be home. She wanted to see if
251
00:20:13,060 --> 00:20:14,060
we'd hit it off.
252
00:20:14,120 --> 00:20:16,700
I hope you don't mind, but I told her we
did.
253
00:20:21,610 --> 00:20:22,910
You two have a nice time.
254
00:20:23,150 --> 00:20:24,150
Okay.
255
00:20:24,510 --> 00:20:26,730
Go ahead and start the car. I'll be
right out. Okay.
256
00:20:27,050 --> 00:20:29,570
Thanks, Mrs. Winslow. Your next piece is
on me.
257
00:20:29,810 --> 00:20:30,890
You're welcome. Thank you.
258
00:20:34,230 --> 00:20:35,169
Hey, Ma.
259
00:20:35,170 --> 00:20:36,170
Hmm?
260
00:20:38,190 --> 00:20:39,190
Cool move.
261
00:20:39,430 --> 00:20:41,330
Thanks. You like Junior?
262
00:20:41,570 --> 00:20:42,570
Yeah, a lot.
263
00:20:44,150 --> 00:20:46,790
Well, sometimes mothers have good
instincts.
264
00:20:48,090 --> 00:20:49,090
You know...
265
00:20:49,610 --> 00:20:52,490
I don't know why I ever doubted your
taste in men. After all, you did pick
266
00:20:52,490 --> 00:20:59,390
Daddy. Hey, Mom.
267
00:21:02,450 --> 00:21:03,930
Forget about that early Christmas.
19456
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