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1
00:00:02,310 --> 00:00:04,430
Uh, Steve, your taxi's here.
2
00:00:04,970 --> 00:00:06,430
Oh, I can't believe it.
3
00:00:06,770 --> 00:00:09,130
Steve is actually going to Russia for an
entire week.
4
00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:10,870
Pinch me, Laura. I must be dreaming.
5
00:00:15,810 --> 00:00:17,390
That's what I'm going to do, Steve.
6
00:00:17,630 --> 00:00:19,070
I'm all set to go, Steve.
7
00:00:21,290 --> 00:00:23,870
Steve, are we going to miss that laugh
or what?
8
00:00:26,690 --> 00:00:27,710
Better get going, Steve.
9
00:00:27,970 --> 00:00:28,970
Wouldn't want to be late.
10
00:00:29,180 --> 00:00:31,580
Oh, you guys are wonderful.
11
00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:34,820
Do I feel a group hug coming on?
12
00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:36,600
Uh, no, I don't think so.
13
00:00:42,380 --> 00:00:47,020
Goodbye, windmills. And remember, even
though we'll be separated by...
14
00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:24,590
flesh big daddy oh why thank you for the
15
00:01:24,590 --> 00:01:27,210
party but however did you know i was
coming
16
00:01:27,210 --> 00:01:35,210
uh
17
00:01:35,210 --> 00:01:42,490
merle
18
00:01:42,490 --> 00:01:45,990
you just missed your cousin steve yeah
he went to russia for a week to visit
19
00:01:45,990 --> 00:01:48,330
parents If you hurry, you might be able
to catch him.
20
00:01:49,930 --> 00:01:52,690
Better yet, you can go to Russia with
him.
21
00:01:53,550 --> 00:01:55,250
Oh, don't be silly, darling.
22
00:01:55,590 --> 00:01:57,490
I'm not here to visit little old Steve.
23
00:02:01,030 --> 00:02:02,030
You're not?
24
00:02:02,470 --> 00:02:07,950
Oh, heavens no. While I'm in this fine
Yankee city to peruse a higher
25
00:02:07,950 --> 00:02:12,910
institution of learning, I want to make
sure my mind is as well developed as my
26
00:02:12,910 --> 00:02:13,910
body.
27
00:02:18,630 --> 00:02:19,690
college are you here to see?
28
00:02:20,110 --> 00:02:21,750
Illinois Occidental University.
29
00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:23,710
IOU?
30
00:02:24,910 --> 00:02:26,310
Yeah, that's Eddie's college.
31
00:02:26,570 --> 00:02:27,570
Bingo.
32
00:02:27,970 --> 00:02:30,630
What a delightfully delicious
coinkydink.
33
00:02:31,990 --> 00:02:36,210
I wonder, do they allow married couples
to pose together in the yearbook?
34
00:02:38,110 --> 00:02:39,910
My murder, what are you majoring in?
35
00:02:40,310 --> 00:02:41,310
Your son.
36
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:52,140
Speaking of delicious, where is that big
bucket of bodacious beef?
37
00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:56,980
Oh, Edward Douglas, Edward Douglas.
Myrtle, Myrtle, Myrtle, Myrtle.
38
00:02:57,240 --> 00:03:02,180
Edward is out right now, which gives you
plenty of time to find yourself a nice
39
00:03:02,180 --> 00:03:03,180
hotel.
40
00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:06,240
Yeah, I hear there's a real nice one in
St. Louis.
41
00:03:08,460 --> 00:03:11,680
Well, we'd ask you to stay with us, but
we know you'd be uncomfortable.
42
00:03:12,220 --> 00:03:13,900
Oh, well, thank you for asking.
43
00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:18,680
love to stay with you.
44
00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:26,460
Man, I just played one of the best games
of my entire... Oh,
45
00:03:26,460 --> 00:03:29,260
no.
46
00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:33,180
Well, hello there.
47
00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:36,500
Mr. Myrtle?
48
00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:38,560
Mmm.
49
00:03:39,060 --> 00:03:40,060
Yum.
50
00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:46,060
How is my handsome hunk of harmony?
51
00:03:47,020 --> 00:03:48,760
Oh, I've been better.
52
00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:53,860
Just hearing your voice ignites the
briquettes of my love barbecue.
53
00:03:57,360 --> 00:04:00,120
I'm sure Eddie feels the same way,
Murphy.
54
00:04:01,900 --> 00:04:07,740
Well, Edward, as you can plainly see, I
am no longer the freckle -faced little
55
00:04:07,740 --> 00:04:11,480
schoolgirl. I have grown into a woman.
56
00:04:16,110 --> 00:04:17,630
I wear lingerie now.
57
00:04:20,410 --> 00:04:26,370
I'm talking red. I'm talking frilly. I'm
talking peekaboo.
58
00:04:31,770 --> 00:04:35,290
Uh, come on, Myrtle. I guess you'll be
staying in my room.
59
00:04:40,110 --> 00:04:42,470
Oh, Edward, my little hush puppy.
60
00:04:42,870 --> 00:04:48,370
Our lawn... separation is only fan the
flames of my desire for you well i'm
61
00:04:48,370 --> 00:04:53,390
sorry myrtle but i just don't feel the
same way oh rest assured you will while
62
00:04:53,390 --> 00:04:58,630
i'm pulling out all the stops baby and
believe you me the grits are gonna hit
63
00:04:58,630 --> 00:04:59,190
the fan
64
00:04:59,190 --> 00:05:06,010
people go
65
00:05:06,010 --> 00:05:07,150
nasty in my room
66
00:05:16,010 --> 00:05:17,250
I am cursed by Urkels.
67
00:05:17,730 --> 00:05:20,930
No sooner does Steve leave than Myrtle
shows up.
68
00:05:21,370 --> 00:05:22,370
Hey.
69
00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:26,130
Yeah, it's like losing a hangnail and
gaining a boil.
70
00:05:30,090 --> 00:05:36,230
Oh, man.
71
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:38,030
What happened?
72
00:05:38,450 --> 00:05:40,550
The garbage disposal blew up.
73
00:05:41,130 --> 00:05:42,850
Go for a minute. Hang on.
74
00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:55,080
busted all right harry will you call
somebody to fix it please carl why is it
75
00:05:55,080 --> 00:06:00,360
always my job to do this because
sweetheart that's what you do and you do
76
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:07,260
well i trust you completely i'm a 90s
kind of guy unfortunately it's
77
00:06:07,260 --> 00:06:08,640
the 1890s
78
00:06:18,050 --> 00:06:19,590
One, one, two. Boom, boom.
79
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,460
Great nations should share their
cheerleading skills.
80
00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:05,440
Oh. Well, put your perky gear in park,
sister.
81
00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:09,960
Now step aside and watch a real woman
shake her pom -poms.
82
00:07:38,190 --> 00:07:39,190
What was that?
83
00:07:43,930 --> 00:07:45,130
Hello, girl.
84
00:07:45,390 --> 00:07:46,550
Hey, everybody.
85
00:07:47,090 --> 00:07:49,290
Who is this?
86
00:07:55,790 --> 00:07:59,930
Myrtle, this is my girlfriend, Greta.
87
00:08:25,550 --> 00:08:28,350
nothing. I was just wondering what Eddie
sees in you.
88
00:08:30,810 --> 00:08:34,090
And I was wondering why you weren't home
watching Hee Haw.
89
00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:39,289
I'm typing it, you tramp.
90
00:08:44,169 --> 00:08:46,470
Who you calling a tramp, Ellie Mae?
91
00:08:48,490 --> 00:08:51,270
You, you certified, citified faloozie.
92
00:09:24,170 --> 00:09:25,810
She's worse than psycho. She's an urkel.
93
00:09:27,730 --> 00:09:31,550
Well, if she puts any more moves on you,
I'll slap the ugly off of her.
94
00:09:33,830 --> 00:09:35,650
That could take a whole lot of slapping.
95
00:09:37,990 --> 00:09:40,410
Besides, you don't have anything to
worry about.
96
00:09:40,810 --> 00:09:42,430
I'm 100 % yours.
97
00:09:43,970 --> 00:09:45,030
You better be.
98
00:09:57,290 --> 00:09:58,510
This is so ironic.
99
00:09:59,550 --> 00:10:00,550
What is?
100
00:10:00,950 --> 00:10:04,910
Well, we came here to be alone, but...
Well,
101
00:10:07,270 --> 00:10:09,450
no. We never get to be alone.
102
00:10:09,790 --> 00:10:10,790
Yeah.
103
00:10:19,130 --> 00:10:20,130
Wait a minute.
104
00:10:20,770 --> 00:10:22,950
We own a summer house on Delmonico
Island.
105
00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:24,710
You do?
106
00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:28,960
And this time of year, the island is
deserted.
107
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:36,980
I was thinking, wouldn't it be
108
00:10:36,980 --> 00:10:41,160
nice to have a romantic candlelight
dinner down at the end of our dock?
109
00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:43,180
Go with that, baby.
110
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:48,140
So, what if this Saturday you meet me
there at 7 o 'clock?
111
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:49,980
I'm there. Can I bring dessert?
112
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,840
No, because this is going to be dessert.
113
00:11:10,510 --> 00:11:11,690
Guess it was love, baby.
114
00:11:19,570 --> 00:11:20,570
Hi,
115
00:11:22,710 --> 00:11:23,850
honey. Hey, sweetheart.
116
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,610
I am starving.
117
00:11:27,110 --> 00:11:28,110
What's for dinner?
118
00:11:28,190 --> 00:11:29,190
Chicken surprise.
119
00:11:29,570 --> 00:11:30,570
Hey, what's the surprise?
120
00:11:30,810 --> 00:11:32,610
The chicken's waiting for us at the
restaurant.
121
00:11:39,150 --> 00:11:40,970
That's the estimate to repair the
garbage disposal.
122
00:11:43,430 --> 00:11:46,270
$200? Yeah, the guy said we need a new
motor.
123
00:11:47,070 --> 00:11:49,150
But, Harriet, $200?
124
00:11:49,690 --> 00:11:51,610
What is the motor made out of, gold?
125
00:11:53,130 --> 00:11:55,390
I don't know. I thought $200 sounded
fair.
126
00:11:56,130 --> 00:11:58,790
Well, sure it sounds fair to someone
being hoodwinked.
127
00:11:59,930 --> 00:12:02,930
Harriet, you are letting this guy take
advantage of you.
128
00:12:03,250 --> 00:12:05,770
You know, Carl, you were the one who
asked me to take care of that.
129
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:22,600
hoodwinked so so now you can take care
of it
130
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:05,320
Ahoy, baby.
131
00:13:05,500 --> 00:13:07,460
Your captain of love is here.
132
00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:10,480
Aye, aye, Captain.
133
00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:16,680
All hands on deck.
134
00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:22,460
What are you doing here?
135
00:13:22,740 --> 00:13:23,800
Where is Greta?
136
00:13:24,380 --> 00:13:26,080
Oh, she won't be coming tonight.
137
00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:31,480
Someone replaced her shampoo with her
depilatory.
138
00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:36,500
She won't be coming out for months.
139
00:13:38,060 --> 00:13:40,160
Look, Myrtle, you're way out of line
here.
140
00:13:40,580 --> 00:13:45,340
Oh, I just love it when you get angry.
Your eyes flicker like fireflies.
141
00:13:46,580 --> 00:13:51,700
Myrtle, will you listen to me? Nothing
can ever happen between us. I'm just not
142
00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:52,700
attracted to you.
143
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:56,940
Uh -uh -uh. Being with that Greta girl
has obviously dulled your senses.
144
00:13:57,840 --> 00:13:59,360
Allow me to sharpen them.
145
00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:04,240
This is what men in prison dream about.
146
00:14:08,620 --> 00:14:10,000
Only the lifers.
147
00:14:11,420 --> 00:14:13,100
Now, I'm in love with weather.
148
00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:15,780
Oh, fiddle -dee -dee.
149
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:20,120
That's because you've never been with a
mint julep sweet as a tube of southern
150
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:23,000
fried never -been -tried doll, baby.
151
00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:28,200
Yo, I'm outta here.
152
00:14:28,860 --> 00:14:33,660
Well, if you're in that much of a hurry,
take this outboard engine with you.
153
00:15:00,910 --> 00:15:03,210
got something that's going to put a
smile on your face.
154
00:15:03,790 --> 00:15:04,790
Come on.
155
00:15:07,030 --> 00:15:08,030
Ta -da!
156
00:15:09,590 --> 00:15:10,590
What's that?
157
00:15:11,530 --> 00:15:16,750
This, my dear, is a high -tech, cutting
-edge garbage management system.
158
00:15:17,230 --> 00:15:20,110
This is the amazing new Sink Weasel.
159
00:15:21,510 --> 00:15:23,810
Sink Weasel? The Sink Weasel.
160
00:15:24,050 --> 00:15:28,310
This baby not only decimates your
garbage, purifies your water, and
161
00:15:28,310 --> 00:15:32,500
your soap, but it It also gives you
instant hot water for your tea, your
162
00:15:32,540 --> 00:15:34,220
and your various soup -like substances.
163
00:15:36,620 --> 00:15:39,160
Exactly how much did you think Weevil
coughed up?
164
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:44,200
Pennies a day, Harriet.
165
00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:46,800
Pennies a day.
166
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:50,160
How many pennies, Carl?
167
00:15:51,860 --> 00:15:56,360
Eight hundred dollars worth. But it has
a free sink strainer.
168
00:15:58,060 --> 00:16:03,160
You got mad at me over a $200 motor, and
then you go right behind my back and
169
00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:05,320
spend $800 for a window?
170
00:16:07,620 --> 00:16:10,580
But honey, this makes the sink smell
lemony.
171
00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:14,720
You know what else makes the sink smell
lemony, Carl?
172
00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:19,520
A lemon, Carl.
173
00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:22,180
A lemon.
174
00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:26,360
Harriet, you seem upset.
175
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:31,280
But more than upset, I'm hurt.
176
00:16:31,980 --> 00:16:32,980
Hurt?
177
00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:36,580
But... Honey, why?
178
00:16:38,380 --> 00:16:44,340
Carl, when you saw my estimate for that
garbage disposal, you talked down to me.
179
00:16:44,540 --> 00:16:45,940
You made me feel small.
180
00:16:46,460 --> 00:16:47,520
That hurt, Carl.
181
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:49,920
I'm supposed to be your partner in life.
182
00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:51,280
Your friend.
183
00:16:51,860 --> 00:16:53,660
I don't deserve to be treated like that.
184
00:16:54,900 --> 00:16:55,900
Oh.
185
00:16:57,870 --> 00:16:59,530
Honey, there's a reason why I did that.
186
00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:01,270
Oh?
187
00:17:02,090 --> 00:17:03,090
What is it?
188
00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:04,230
I'm an idiot.
189
00:17:06,210 --> 00:17:08,829
Honey, I didn't mean to hurt your
feelings.
190
00:17:09,890 --> 00:17:11,770
Baby, you are my partner in life.
191
00:17:16,089 --> 00:17:17,770
You know what else?
192
00:17:20,190 --> 00:17:23,569
You are my very best friend in this
whole world.
193
00:17:23,930 --> 00:17:25,609
I love you, Mrs. Winslow.
194
00:17:26,810 --> 00:17:28,710
I love you too, Mr. Winslow.
195
00:17:36,790 --> 00:17:37,790
Biscuit?
196
00:17:40,430 --> 00:17:46,870
Land of Goshen, I just love to watch a
man suck down his zittles.
197
00:17:48,790 --> 00:17:50,230
Murder, you sure can't cook.
198
00:17:50,510 --> 00:17:51,510
You gonna finish that?
199
00:17:51,730 --> 00:17:52,730
Oh, half a cent.
200
00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:55,070
But make sure to save room for dessert.
201
00:17:55,790 --> 00:17:56,790
Well, what's for dessert?
202
00:17:58,790 --> 00:17:59,790
Me.
203
00:18:03,190 --> 00:18:07,610
Oh, don't fight it, Eddie. You got kiss
me written all over your face.
204
00:18:08,110 --> 00:18:09,110
What?
205
00:18:09,270 --> 00:18:10,530
That's barbecue sauce.
206
00:18:11,890 --> 00:18:13,210
Enough dilly -dallying.
207
00:18:16,170 --> 00:18:19,530
Edward, one kiss from me and you'll be
mine forever.
208
00:18:19,770 --> 00:18:21,030
No, no, Merle, stop that.
209
00:18:26,090 --> 00:18:27,090
I'm not kidding.
210
00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:39,800
about the kiss me.
211
00:20:42,980 --> 00:20:44,000
What the heck?
212
00:20:44,260 --> 00:20:45,440
I might as well.
213
00:20:45,740 --> 00:20:46,740
Kiss me?
214
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:49,060
No, swim home. It's only five miles.
15817
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