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1
00:00:08,470 --> 00:00:09,550
Come on, girl.
2
00:00:09,910 --> 00:00:11,290
We have to let him in.
3
00:00:11,490 --> 00:00:12,850
Do we have to, Harriet?
4
00:00:13,390 --> 00:00:16,510
Can't we just skip the middleman and
check right into the mental institution?
5
00:00:16,890 --> 00:00:20,810
No. We promised his folks that we'd look
after him while they were in Russia.
6
00:00:21,310 --> 00:00:22,690
Russia. What a place.
7
00:00:23,170 --> 00:00:26,750
War -torn, freezing cold, dark and
gloomy, no food.
8
00:00:27,850 --> 00:00:30,550
Yeah. Steve's folks took the easy way
out.
9
00:01:37,550 --> 00:01:42,970
cubic yards of my belongings packed
under 10 ,000 pounds of pressure per
10
00:01:42,970 --> 00:01:43,970
inch.
11
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:50,610
Lord?
12
00:01:57,530 --> 00:01:58,750
Carl Winslow here.
13
00:01:59,330 --> 00:02:03,650
You remember me. I spoke to you a couple
of months ago when I passed that kidney
14
00:02:03,650 --> 00:02:04,650
stone.
15
00:02:09,770 --> 00:02:10,990
I need your help again, Lord.
16
00:02:12,350 --> 00:02:16,330
This time it's Steve Urkel and even
bigger pain.
17
00:02:18,630 --> 00:02:22,930
I was wondering if you could give us a
little sign, Lord, that tells us when
18
00:02:22,930 --> 00:02:26,550
Steve Urkel moves in, he won't destroy
our little home.
19
00:02:38,630 --> 00:02:39,730
I guess that's a no.
20
00:02:48,670 --> 00:02:49,670
Squashalization.
21
00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:52,130
Yeah, I'd like to do sparkle
squashalization.
22
00:02:58,690 --> 00:03:00,330
Hi, Uncle Carl. Hey, Rich.
23
00:03:00,810 --> 00:03:01,810
Freeze!
24
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,160
What you got up under there?
25
00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:10,460
Nothing. Mm -hmm.
26
00:03:11,260 --> 00:03:14,720
Well, don't look now, but nothing's tail
is sticking out from under your jacket.
27
00:03:18,220 --> 00:03:19,720
Oh, now, Ridge.
28
00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:24,240
I think I remember telling you that you
couldn't bring that cat into this house.
29
00:03:24,780 --> 00:03:25,800
But I love Mr.
30
00:03:26,060 --> 00:03:29,320
Button. Yeah, well, I love Whitney
Houston, but she's not living with us.
31
00:03:30,380 --> 00:03:33,480
But if she rubbed up against your leg,
wouldn't you try to sneak her into the
32
00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:34,480
house?
33
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,420
Mr. Buttons has to go now. Come on.
34
00:03:51,300 --> 00:03:52,300
What's going on?
35
00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:55,320
I was just mauled by a vicious stray
cat.
36
00:03:56,100 --> 00:03:58,540
I don't think Mr. Buttons likes you,
Uncle Carl.
37
00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:00,500
Well, boo -hoo -hoo.
38
00:04:01,900 --> 00:04:02,900
Get him out.
39
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:08,640
Carl, why are you so grumpy?
40
00:04:09,570 --> 00:04:11,510
Oh, well, now, let's see, Harriet.
41
00:04:12,010 --> 00:04:14,350
What could be making me so grumpy?
42
00:04:15,470 --> 00:04:18,209
Steve moving in. Ding, ding, ding, ding,
ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
43
00:04:19,170 --> 00:04:20,670
Tell her what she's won, Johnny.
44
00:04:23,190 --> 00:04:24,970
Doc, I've got an idea.
45
00:04:25,590 --> 00:04:28,490
We can't shoot him, Harriet. I'm a cop.
It's frowned upon.
46
00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:34,430
Why don't we all go up to Lake Geneva
for the weekend? We can camp and relax
47
00:04:34,430 --> 00:04:36,170
a couple days while Steve gets settled
in here.
48
00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:41,520
No, I can't go.
49
00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:43,980
I'm working security detail tonight.
50
00:04:44,460 --> 00:04:48,020
Oh, no problem. We'll just go ahead and
set up the campsite, and then you can
51
00:04:48,020 --> 00:04:49,020
come along when you're done.
52
00:04:49,980 --> 00:04:54,780
I don't know. Maybe I'll just find a
quiet spot in the house.
53
00:05:50,380 --> 00:05:52,100
Hello? Hey, Dad, it's me.
54
00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:53,420
Hey, is everything okay?
55
00:05:53,660 --> 00:05:56,260
Yep, campsite's all set up. Oh, great.
56
00:05:56,580 --> 00:06:00,400
I'll be there in a couple of hours. Then
we'll get down to basics.
57
00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:02,880
Back to the land, bonding with nature.
58
00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:05,000
Yeah, right, bonding.
59
00:06:06,140 --> 00:06:07,800
Say, Dad, could you bring my blow dryer?
60
00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:21,720
Hello there, Ranger Delicious.
61
00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:30,640
I'm Eddie Winslow, outdoorsman, tracker,
lover.
62
00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:37,280
That's Poison Sumac. In an hour, your
head's gonna blow up like a tractor
63
00:06:58,510 --> 00:07:01,250
I'm sorry, Steve, but the basement is
off limits. That's my den.
64
00:07:01,890 --> 00:07:04,730
But big guy, I thought you said mi casa,
su casa.
65
00:07:05,190 --> 00:07:08,290
No, what I said was mess with mi casa
and you're out on your ass.
66
00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:13,770
But, but Carl, I have some revolutionary
new experiments that are... Steve, I
67
00:07:13,770 --> 00:07:15,010
don't want an argument, okay?
68
00:07:15,370 --> 00:07:18,150
Okay, fine. I guess I'll have to find
someone else to share the profits.
69
00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:20,230
Profits?
70
00:07:21,350 --> 00:07:24,310
My chamber has a new feature that can
make us both a fortune.
71
00:07:26,190 --> 00:07:27,190
Fortune?
72
00:07:31,370 --> 00:07:35,410
Now it changes the size of genetic
material.
73
00:07:36,870 --> 00:07:37,870
Fortune?
74
00:07:39,350 --> 00:07:43,570
I installed an alpha modulator infused
with a polycarbonate amplification
75
00:07:43,570 --> 00:07:47,950
superconductor. Now, through geometric
bifurcation of a fast rolling vector, I
76
00:07:47,950 --> 00:07:49,230
can escalate the electron particles.
77
00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:51,970
What? I can make stuff bigger.
78
00:07:54,530 --> 00:07:55,650
No way.
79
00:07:55,930 --> 00:07:58,390
Away with my expando ray.
80
00:08:08,910 --> 00:08:09,970
place inside the chamber.
81
00:08:30,030 --> 00:08:31,030
What?
82
00:08:31,390 --> 00:08:32,690
Shaquille O 'Neal's toothbrush.
83
00:08:35,110 --> 00:08:37,690
I've got to hand it to you, Steve.
That's quite a trick.
84
00:08:38,409 --> 00:08:42,110
But, uh, where is the profit in giant
toothbrushes?
85
00:08:43,070 --> 00:08:46,010
The moolah's not in dental doodads,
daddy -o.
86
00:08:47,890 --> 00:08:48,890
They're gold.
87
00:08:49,190 --> 00:08:51,170
Diamonds. Itty -bitty diamonds.
88
00:09:53,450 --> 00:09:55,610
Are there any other problems you haven't
told me about?
89
00:09:56,310 --> 00:09:57,310
Yes, indeed.
90
00:09:57,430 --> 00:10:02,390
Now, 72 % of the time, my expando rate
makes things larger.
91
00:10:02,930 --> 00:10:04,910
But the other 28 %...
92
00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:33,940
Layman's. Uh, we're teeny.
93
00:10:40,380 --> 00:10:41,380
You idiot!
94
00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:46,680
Now, Carl, there's no reason to get
short with me.
95
00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:48,980
Okay, more choice of words.
96
00:10:50,100 --> 00:10:54,180
Oh, I'm sorry, big guy. I mean, former
big guy. Little big guy. You know what I
97
00:10:54,180 --> 00:10:58,080
mean. Steve, this is the worst thing
that you have ever done to me.
98
00:10:58,340 --> 00:11:01,060
This is even worse than your propane
nose hair trimmer.
99
00:11:03,660 --> 00:11:05,440
Lister's heel, you could whistle with
your sinus.
100
00:11:08,340 --> 00:11:09,340
Come here.
101
00:11:09,620 --> 00:11:10,620
Come here.
102
00:11:10,860 --> 00:11:11,860
Come here.
103
00:11:12,140 --> 00:11:13,140
Come here.
104
00:11:13,860 --> 00:11:14,960
Don't make me use this.
105
00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:18,020
Toothpicks don't scare me.
106
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:20,560
I'm a man, not a club sandwich.
107
00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:25,920
You know, Carl, sarcasm only makes you
smaller.
108
00:11:29,060 --> 00:11:31,640
You're right.
109
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,360
I'm sorry.
110
00:11:34,900 --> 00:11:36,180
I lost my head.
111
00:11:36,740 --> 00:11:38,360
It's perfectly understandable.
112
00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:40,660
Don't touch me. Sorry.
113
00:11:42,620 --> 00:11:46,340
Now, rule number one of crisis control,
assess the situation.
114
00:11:46,860 --> 00:11:49,480
Now, that's the tip -top cop I know and
love.
115
00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:50,760
Assess away.
116
00:11:51,700 --> 00:11:52,700
All right.
117
00:11:54,060 --> 00:11:55,060
We're small.
118
00:11:56,260 --> 00:11:57,880
Everything else is big.
119
00:11:59,900 --> 00:12:00,900
Oh, you're good.
120
00:12:03,229 --> 00:12:07,990
Now, look, if we can get to the
transformation chamber, can you make us
121
00:12:07,990 --> 00:12:08,990
again?
122
00:12:09,370 --> 00:12:10,370
Absolutely.
123
00:12:11,570 --> 00:12:12,710
All right, come on, let's go.
124
00:12:22,050 --> 00:12:23,850
Hey, hand me that breadcrumb over there.
125
00:12:43,690 --> 00:12:45,030
That is a long way down.
126
00:12:45,730 --> 00:12:49,730
Oh, it looks like we're going to have to
wait until the family gets back home.
127
00:12:52,250 --> 00:12:53,530
Oh, man.
128
00:12:55,370 --> 00:12:58,850
Two days with you trapped on a table.
129
00:13:01,630 --> 00:13:03,530
Well, don't be blue, big guy.
130
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:04,750
Don't touch me. Sorry.
131
00:13:08,110 --> 00:13:10,030
With a snack, here you are.
132
00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:18,700
Right? Then let's have a chip, old chap.
133
00:15:01,290 --> 00:15:02,290
Yeah, window shopping.
134
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:07,700
You know what scared me even more?
135
00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:10,720
What? Hearing myself say, help me,
Waldo.
136
00:16:18,740 --> 00:16:19,780
Huh, what's going on?
137
00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:21,040
No answer.
138
00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:24,240
Well, that's a good sign. I bet Dad's
probably halfway here by now.
139
00:16:24,460 --> 00:16:26,860
If I know your father, he stopped off to
get something to eat.
140
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,900
Right now, he's probably in the middle
of a big sandwich.
141
00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:36,680
What is your problem?
142
00:16:37,420 --> 00:16:38,820
I can't get comfy.
143
00:16:39,460 --> 00:16:43,080
Well, Steve, you have a marshmallow for
a pillow. Isn't that comfy enough?
144
00:16:43,580 --> 00:16:46,340
Yeah, but when I drool on it, it sticks
to my face.
145
00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:49,380
Good night, Steve.
146
00:16:49,860 --> 00:16:52,180
Well, aren't you going to tell me a
bedtime story?
147
00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:07,480
What was that?
148
00:18:46,350 --> 00:18:47,350
Here you go, Steve.
149
00:18:48,430 --> 00:18:49,710
You know what, Carl?
150
00:18:50,010 --> 00:18:51,010
What?
151
00:18:51,090 --> 00:18:53,230
I hope Richie doesn't have a pet snake.
152
00:18:54,310 --> 00:18:55,310
Me too, Steve.
153
00:18:57,290 --> 00:18:59,050
Steve, I've got a confession to make.
154
00:18:59,890 --> 00:19:00,890
Oh?
155
00:19:01,670 --> 00:19:02,670
Yeah.
156
00:19:03,870 --> 00:19:06,570
I gotta admit, I didn't want you to move
in with it.
157
00:19:07,670 --> 00:19:11,990
Ah, well, I kinda got that feeling when
you sent my picture to Boys Town.
158
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:17,480
I feel that I owe you an apology.
159
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:19,320
You do?
160
00:19:19,340 --> 00:19:20,340
Yes.
161
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:26,120
Because I fail to remember that no
matter how much havoc you cause,
162
00:19:26,380 --> 00:19:31,560
when the chips are down, you are always
there for your friends.
163
00:19:33,500 --> 00:19:35,380
Oh, thank you, big guy.
164
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,680
No, thank you, Steve.
165
00:19:38,460 --> 00:19:39,460
Oh.
166
00:19:41,020 --> 00:19:43,120
This is such a touching moment.
167
00:19:44,020 --> 00:19:45,340
May I weep openly?
168
00:19:46,170 --> 00:19:47,170
No.
169
00:19:48,650 --> 00:19:50,210
Would you settle for a hug?
170
00:19:50,430 --> 00:19:51,430
And a heartbeat.
171
00:20:03,550 --> 00:20:05,110
Tom! Tom!
172
00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:07,430
What happened here?
173
00:20:07,910 --> 00:20:11,570
Come on, give me a hand here.
174
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:19,320
What'd I do?
175
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:38,900
Where'd you guys come from?
176
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:42,760
I was born in Green Bay.
177
00:21:05,230 --> 00:21:09,110
First of all, Steve here shrunk us. Then
we had to sleep on bread. Then we were
178
00:21:09,110 --> 00:21:11,110
almost killed by a cantaloupe. And a
kitty.
179
00:21:12,230 --> 00:21:13,650
You want to run that by me again?
180
00:21:14,770 --> 00:21:15,770
I don't think so.
181
00:21:16,190 --> 00:21:21,390
All I want to do is relax and enjoy the
fact that things are finally back to
182
00:21:21,390 --> 00:21:22,390
normal.
13527
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