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1
00:00:19,610 --> 00:00:21,770
I don't have just to pick those up
later.
2
00:00:23,350 --> 00:00:24,630
Are you ready to go, Steve?
3
00:00:24,890 --> 00:00:27,710
Yep. Bring forth the academic onslaught.
4
00:00:28,670 --> 00:00:29,670
Okay.
5
00:00:35,310 --> 00:00:37,570
Okay, we're going to start out with the
periodic table of elements.
6
00:00:37,790 --> 00:00:38,790
Oh, my face.
7
00:00:40,550 --> 00:00:41,930
Shoot. Okay.
8
00:00:42,650 --> 00:00:44,310
What's the atomic weight of scandium?
9
00:00:44,590 --> 00:00:45,890
44 .956.
10
00:00:46,270 --> 00:00:48,430
Titanium? 47 .89.
11
00:00:50,570 --> 00:00:52,550
Um, close. It's .88.
12
00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:54,650
Stupid, stupid, stupid!
13
00:00:56,650 --> 00:00:59,130
Oh, how can I not know that?
14
00:00:59,610 --> 00:01:03,970
Oh. Gee, do you think you can lose brain
cells from eating too much cheese?
15
00:01:08,300 --> 00:01:09,279
smartest kid in school.
16
00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:10,280
No big deal.
17
00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:15,440
Like, this country is a lousy with
geniuses. I have to be the smartest of
18
00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:19,520
smartest. Like, you can't get into an
omnic like MIT without breaking up these
19
00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:20,520
eggheads.
20
00:01:21,700 --> 00:01:23,740
Steve, I've never seen you like this.
21
00:01:24,180 --> 00:01:27,820
It's just that I wanted to go to MIT
ever since I was in diapers.
22
00:01:28,740 --> 00:01:31,140
Like, my first word was Massachusetts.
23
00:01:33,060 --> 00:01:34,400
Well, then let's just get to work.
24
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,800
an electric Amazonian eel. Pick on 50
votes.
25
00:01:50,180 --> 00:01:51,180
Come on.
26
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:52,320
Challenge me.
27
00:01:53,420 --> 00:01:57,220
Who discovered hypergenetic parabolic
transmutation?
28
00:01:57,660 --> 00:02:00,920
It's Obon Elianak. She was 42 at the
time. She drove a Buick and she had
29
00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:03,000
sons. Michael Jr., Skippy, and Robert.
30
00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:06,180
Uh, Steve. Michael Jr. was quite a
lady's man and Skippy liked veal.
31
00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:28,730
On the newspaper page. And love and
tradition of the grand design.
32
00:02:29,030 --> 00:02:32,310
Some people say it's even harder to
find.
33
00:02:33,590 --> 00:02:39,410
Well, then there must be some magic clue
inside these gentle walls.
34
00:02:40,750 --> 00:02:43,570
Because all I see is a tower.
35
00:02:53,550 --> 00:02:54,550
Bigger love
36
00:03:39,470 --> 00:03:40,930
even watch a simple bikini contest.
37
00:03:44,270 --> 00:03:45,270
Hello, Carl.
38
00:03:46,210 --> 00:03:47,210
Hello.
39
00:03:52,610 --> 00:03:55,650
Pastor Fuller, what a surprise it is to
see you.
40
00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:57,930
Don't worry, Carl, I don't want money.
41
00:03:58,150 --> 00:03:59,790
Oh, come in, come in, come in.
42
00:04:00,750 --> 00:04:03,070
Harriet? Hi, how long have you ever seen
me?
43
00:04:03,870 --> 00:04:07,210
So, Pastor, how are things down at the
church? Oh,
44
00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:12,500
As you know, one of my responsibilities
is to counsel young couples who are
45
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:13,500
planning to be married.
46
00:04:13,700 --> 00:04:16,640
Now, we're matching them up with couples
that have been married for many years
47
00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:19,839
so they can get a sense of the give and
take of marriage.
48
00:04:20,220 --> 00:04:21,680
Oh, that's a great idea.
49
00:04:21,959 --> 00:04:23,860
Thanks. I thought of it.
50
00:04:25,340 --> 00:04:26,800
So, would you two be interested?
51
00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:28,060
It'll only be one afternoon.
52
00:04:28,380 --> 00:04:30,360
Well, sure. How much does it pay?
53
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:37,260
We'd love to do it.
54
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:54,160
Is that a new perfume?
55
00:04:54,500 --> 00:04:55,500
Why, yes.
56
00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:58,360
It's called Sudden Urge.
57
00:05:01,340 --> 00:05:05,160
Well, it's definitely giving me a sudden
urge.
58
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:13,300
I'm serious, Harry. You smell like a
million bucks.
59
00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:16,780
It didn't cost a million bucks, did it?
60
00:05:18,580 --> 00:05:22,160
Relax, Carl. It's expensive, but it
didn't cost you a cent.
61
00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:23,720
Oh, great.
62
00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:24,960
Birthday gift.
63
00:05:31,280 --> 00:05:32,500
Who's the big spender?
64
00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:34,340
Lance, down at Ferguson.
65
00:05:34,740 --> 00:05:35,740
Wasn't that nice?
66
00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:38,600
Lance.
67
00:05:39,180 --> 00:05:41,420
Lance? Yeah, he works in Betty.
68
00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:43,920
I just bet he does.
69
00:05:46,420 --> 00:05:47,420
Stop it, Carl.
70
00:05:52,170 --> 00:05:54,090
like this Lance a little or Lance a lot?
71
00:05:56,630 --> 00:05:57,630
Little.
72
00:05:59,030 --> 00:06:00,150
Oh, great.
73
00:06:01,210 --> 00:06:06,290
My wife is being romanced by a perfume
-giving, home -wrecking, wife -stealing
74
00:06:06,290 --> 00:06:07,290
weasel.
75
00:06:07,730 --> 00:06:11,470
Harriet, I want you to take it back and
tell old Lance to keep his sudden urge.
76
00:06:12,290 --> 00:06:15,650
Oh, Carl, don't be ridiculous. Now,
we'll talk about this later. Oh, we'll
77
00:06:15,650 --> 00:06:18,490
about it later, all right. We're going
to talk about how I'm going down to that
78
00:06:18,490 --> 00:06:21,110
store and tell a few things to that
retail gigolo.
79
00:06:25,550 --> 00:06:26,469
Mr. Winslow?
80
00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:28,450
Oh, you must be Larry in Maryland.
81
00:06:28,690 --> 00:06:31,070
Yes, I'm Larry, and this is Marilyn.
82
00:06:31,610 --> 00:06:32,790
I pieced that together.
83
00:06:34,010 --> 00:06:35,890
Well, please, come in. Sit down.
84
00:06:36,210 --> 00:06:37,210
Hi.
85
00:06:38,070 --> 00:06:39,070
Hi.
86
00:06:40,470 --> 00:06:44,630
So, Pastor Fuller said you might be able
to warn us about some of the pitfalls
87
00:06:44,630 --> 00:06:45,469
of marriage.
88
00:06:45,470 --> 00:06:46,670
Well, yes, we can.
89
00:06:46,930 --> 00:06:49,190
After all, we've been married 22 years.
90
00:06:49,750 --> 00:06:51,870
Harriet, that's a lovely perfume. What
is it?
91
00:06:52,590 --> 00:06:53,930
Well, it's called...
92
00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:55,600
Sudden urge.
93
00:06:55,660 --> 00:06:56,660
Oh.
94
00:06:57,220 --> 00:06:58,220
Yeah.
95
00:06:58,460 --> 00:07:00,100
A friend gave it to her.
96
00:07:09,140 --> 00:07:10,780
Steve, why did you call me over here?
97
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:12,300
Because I need your help.
98
00:07:12,820 --> 00:07:16,940
My meeting with the MIT recruiter is in
two hours, and I've come up with a
99
00:07:16,940 --> 00:07:18,820
foolproof way to ace it. How?
100
00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:21,980
With my celebrity hair collection.
101
00:07:24,650 --> 00:07:25,650
you up to now.
102
00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:57,680
gene -splitting skills and extract a
strand of DNA.
103
00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:02,140
Then, I'll unlock the genetic code that
made Einstein a genius.
104
00:08:02,540 --> 00:08:08,120
Then, I'll whip up an antibody elixir
and become the smartest dude on Earth.
105
00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:10,640
Hello?
106
00:08:11,820 --> 00:08:14,800
You're already one of the smartest kids
on Earth. Just be yourself.
107
00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:19,120
I've got one shot at MIT and I'm not
blowing it.
108
00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:06,350
to be back in my favorite city, Chicago.
109
00:11:54,030 --> 00:11:55,030
Which one is it?
110
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:40,760
Love me tender.
111
00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:50,080
I'll get a hold of yourself, man.
112
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,900
Elvis has left the building.
113
00:13:01,140 --> 00:13:04,000
Harriet, I just love your perfume. Do
you know where I can get some?
114
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:05,299
Oh, sure.
115
00:13:05,300 --> 00:13:06,300
That's easy.
116
00:13:06,340 --> 00:13:08,520
Just strike up a friendship with Lance.
117
00:13:12,810 --> 00:13:15,350
bothers you so much. He's just a co
-worker.
118
00:13:15,850 --> 00:13:19,570
No offense, Mrs. Winslow, but it would
bother me, too, if some guy gave my wife
119
00:13:19,570 --> 00:13:20,570
perfume.
120
00:13:26,230 --> 00:13:28,890
Honey, but what if it was just a
harmless gift?
121
00:13:29,570 --> 00:13:33,230
Well, I certainly wouldn't let you
accept a gift like that, pumpkin.
122
00:13:35,090 --> 00:13:36,029
Let me?
123
00:13:36,030 --> 00:13:37,710
What do you mean you wouldn't let me?
124
00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:50,480
I'm letting my future wife accept gifts
from some guy who's got the hots for
125
00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:51,480
her.
126
00:14:17,070 --> 00:14:21,310
Merkel is now 20 minutes late. I have a
lot of promising students to see today.
127
00:14:21,650 --> 00:14:24,210
Oh, Steve will be here any second.
You've got to wait for him.
128
00:14:24,830 --> 00:14:28,470
Steve and MIT were made for each other.
Yes, well, I'm afraid I'm going to have
129
00:14:28,470 --> 00:14:29,610
to note his tardiness.
130
00:14:30,230 --> 00:14:31,230
I'm noting.
131
00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:17,520
Mr. Fleming?
132
00:15:19,380 --> 00:15:20,400
This is Steve.
133
00:15:23,860 --> 00:15:24,860
Call me the king.
134
00:15:25,820 --> 00:15:26,960
All my friends do.
135
00:15:29,020 --> 00:15:30,420
Oh, that's a nickname.
136
00:15:31,300 --> 00:15:34,660
He's not only smart, he's a fun guy.
137
00:15:38,580 --> 00:15:44,620
Well, uh, Steve, I'm Herb Fleming from
MIT, where we don't have a lot of fun
138
00:15:44,620 --> 00:15:45,620
guys.
139
00:15:52,550 --> 00:15:54,530
MIT, huh? I don't know that label.
140
00:15:55,270 --> 00:15:59,810
Yes, well, MIT is a university, not a
record company. Are you okay, Mr. Urkel?
141
00:16:01,190 --> 00:16:02,190
Would you call me?
142
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:08,050
That's a nickname you came up with so
that your fans wouldn't hound you?
143
00:16:08,290 --> 00:16:12,250
Oh, sorry, I got mad. I guess I was all
sugar.
144
00:16:13,970 --> 00:16:16,270
Why are you wearing... this silly
outfit.
145
00:16:16,730 --> 00:16:18,350
Hey, man, don't be crude.
146
00:16:20,710 --> 00:16:23,550
I'm afraid I'm going to have to note
your bizarre behavior.
147
00:16:24,370 --> 00:16:25,370
I'm noting.
148
00:16:27,250 --> 00:16:28,610
You seem a little upset.
149
00:16:29,390 --> 00:16:30,390
Want a Cadillac?
150
00:16:31,650 --> 00:16:35,370
Are you trying to bribe me, Mr. Urkel?
I'm not a caddy man, huh?
151
00:16:35,650 --> 00:16:36,650
How about a watch?
152
00:16:44,010 --> 00:16:45,470
I know Priscilla, baby. I can see them.
153
00:16:48,630 --> 00:16:49,950
Say, where's Lisa Marie?
154
00:16:50,990 --> 00:16:52,070
You don't want to know.
155
00:16:55,850 --> 00:16:57,290
You're blowing the whole interview.
156
00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:58,650
Oh, interview.
157
00:17:00,030 --> 00:17:01,770
You'll have to arrange that with the
colonel.
158
00:17:07,470 --> 00:17:11,609
Mr. Fleming, there's a clear explanation
for all of this.
159
00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:15,560
Psychosis? No.
160
00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:20,700
Steve was worried about this interview
with you, so he decided to change his
161
00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:24,720
pattern to Albert Einstein's, but he
made a mistake and used one of Elvis'
162
00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:27,260
instead of Einstein's and transformed
himself into the king.
163
00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:35,540
Does this sound as crazy as I think it
does?
164
00:17:36,360 --> 00:17:37,360
Oh, yeah.
165
00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:41,260
Mr. Urkel, or...
166
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:45,500
You are definitely not MIT material.
167
00:17:46,020 --> 00:17:48,620
You know, I'd like to change the mood
for a moment.
168
00:17:50,780 --> 00:17:53,960
Sometimes in life, we get down on
ourselves.
169
00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:57,480
And we can't find a way out of our
troubles.
170
00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:04,460
And that's when we check into... The
Heartbreak Hotel.
171
00:18:05,340 --> 00:18:09,300
Since my baby left me, I found a new
place to dwell.
172
00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:12,360
Now at the end of a long history,
173
00:18:29,770 --> 00:18:32,150
Maybe he could go to Stanford.
174
00:18:57,069 --> 00:18:58,069
Thank you.
175
00:18:58,170 --> 00:18:59,169
Thank you.
176
00:18:59,170 --> 00:19:00,149
Thank you, Grandma.
177
00:19:00,150 --> 00:19:01,150
Thank you, Grandma.
178
00:19:01,170 --> 00:19:02,870
I love each and every one of you.
179
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:13,220
I don't think we're ready to get
married.
180
00:19:13,980 --> 00:19:16,320
Apparently, there are some things we
didn't know about one another.
181
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:19,560
Now that you mention it, I feel exactly
the same way.
182
00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:21,320
Good.
183
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:24,160
Good. Harriet, can you give me a ride
home, please?
184
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,200
Oh, oh, wait a minute, please.
185
00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:27,580
Just wait a minute.
186
00:19:27,980 --> 00:19:30,920
Look, I think I might have given you
guys the wrong impression.
187
00:19:31,220 --> 00:19:34,220
No, au contraire, Mr. Winslow, if I may
call you that.
188
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:37,720
I think you really opened up our eyes.
189
00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:40,620
You know, marriage is never perfect.
190
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:44,600
Yeah, you got to really work at it.
Yeah, you know, there's always something
191
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:45,600
stir the pot.
192
00:19:45,700 --> 00:19:46,700
Money,
193
00:19:46,900 --> 00:19:50,140
in -laws, or in my case, jealousy.
194
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:55,720
When you're married to a beautiful woman
like Harriet, you're always afraid
195
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:57,320
somebody's going to take away from you.
196
00:19:58,420 --> 00:20:02,280
Oh, Carl, that was so sweet.
197
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:06,800
I'm sorry, sweetheart.
198
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:09,580
I don't know what got into me.
199
00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:12,800
You have never given me a reason to
mistrust you.
200
00:20:13,260 --> 00:20:14,560
And I never will.
201
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:17,220
I love you. I love you, too.
202
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:25,800
That was really sweet.
203
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:27,920
Yeah.
204
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:33,100
That's the kind of marriage I wanted to
have.
205
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:35,780
Maybe we still can.
206
00:20:37,700 --> 00:20:38,960
Will you still marry me?
207
00:20:41,130 --> 00:20:42,130
I love you, Larry.
208
00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:44,650
I love you, Marilyn.
209
00:20:45,390 --> 00:20:46,390
I'm sorry.
210
00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:49,830
Well,
211
00:20:51,530 --> 00:20:52,530
that went smoothly.
15717
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