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1
00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:05,080
You know, big guy.
2
00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:16,840
Steve!
3
00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:21,940
How you be, you busy?
4
00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:25,660
I be busy, you be going.
5
00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:27,120
No, wait.
6
00:00:27,220 --> 00:00:30,520
Don't you want to know what this is and
why I'm wearing a kilt?
7
00:00:31,940 --> 00:00:34,010
No. I'm sure you do.
8
00:00:34,210 --> 00:00:38,090
Why, I hold in my hands the
revolutionary Urkel McBagpipes.
9
00:00:40,530 --> 00:00:41,530
Steve.
10
00:00:42,610 --> 00:00:43,610
Don't bug me.
11
00:00:45,370 --> 00:00:46,370
Plug me.
12
00:00:49,870 --> 00:00:53,410
I don't even know why I bother.
13
00:00:55,350 --> 00:01:01,150
I'm getting ready to make a boogie.
14
00:01:19,860 --> 00:01:21,520
We're making down to me, laddie.
15
00:01:23,820 --> 00:01:24,820
It really works.
16
00:01:25,060 --> 00:01:27,160
You look ridiculous, but it really
works.
17
00:01:27,380 --> 00:01:29,140
But here, Carl, take it for a spin.
18
00:01:29,460 --> 00:01:31,180
Well, I... Oh, come on. Go ahead. Come
here.
19
00:01:38,430 --> 00:01:39,430
Thank you.
20
00:02:17,130 --> 00:02:18,350
Look what you did.
21
00:02:33,630 --> 00:02:40,150
It's a rare condition this day and age
to read any good news on the newspaper
22
00:02:40,150 --> 00:02:43,830
page. Love and tradition of the grand
design.
23
00:02:44,570 --> 00:02:47,530
Some people say it's even harder to
find.
24
00:02:48,550 --> 00:02:54,550
Well, then there must be some magic clue
inside these gentle walls.
25
00:02:55,790 --> 00:03:02,370
Because all I see is a tower of dreams.
Real love bursting out of everything.
26
00:03:04,210 --> 00:03:10,610
It's the bigger love of the family.
27
00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:40,800
I think it's time to redecorate this
room.
28
00:03:41,660 --> 00:03:44,880
I'm tired of this old stuff. We need
some new furniture. Wait a minute. Wait
29
00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:46,680
minute. What is wrong with this stuff?
30
00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:50,200
I like this stuff. It's old and
comfortable, just like us.
31
00:03:51,660 --> 00:03:52,880
Speak for yourself, Grandpa.
32
00:03:55,940 --> 00:03:57,140
Harriet, you know what I mean.
33
00:03:57,340 --> 00:03:59,140
We bought this stuff when we got
married.
34
00:03:59,580 --> 00:04:01,460
We married each other, not the couch.
35
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:06,180
But it has a certain sentimental value
to it.
36
00:04:06,700 --> 00:04:07,700
Yeah.
37
00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:10,480
Every time I walk past that, I see your
butt imprint.
38
00:04:17,399 --> 00:04:19,459
Hey, Mrs. Winslow, thanks for letting us
do our laundry.
39
00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:23,680
Ma, why didn't you warn me that when you
put sweaters in the dryer, they come
40
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:24,680
out like this?
41
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:30,000
Consider yourself warned.
42
00:04:31,580 --> 00:04:34,000
But that's just great. What am I
supposed to do with this?
43
00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:36,200
Hey, I can give it to my doggie.
44
00:04:38,510 --> 00:04:40,330
He's not going to your college, but we
don't have to tell anybody.
45
00:04:42,450 --> 00:04:45,230
Edward, I'd like to ask your opinion
about something.
46
00:04:46,230 --> 00:04:49,090
Do you think that we need new furniture?
47
00:04:51,550 --> 00:04:52,550
Most definitely.
48
00:04:53,530 --> 00:04:54,530
Why?
49
00:04:54,810 --> 00:04:56,670
Because this stuff will look great in
our pocket.
50
00:04:59,670 --> 00:05:00,930
You're excused.
51
00:05:14,990 --> 00:05:16,550
Why are you being so stubborn about
this?
52
00:05:16,890 --> 00:05:19,030
Because, Harry, it's going to cost a
fortune.
53
00:05:19,350 --> 00:05:24,870
No, it's not. I worked out a budget, and
it's only going to cost us $3 ,000.
54
00:05:28,630 --> 00:05:29,750
$3 ,000?
55
00:05:30,750 --> 00:05:31,750
American?
56
00:05:32,550 --> 00:05:35,450
Oh, Tom, open up your wallet and let
some fresh air in.
57
00:05:37,610 --> 00:05:40,810
Not until you cut your budget way down.
58
00:05:41,470 --> 00:05:43,970
I already cut my budget way down.
59
00:05:45,580 --> 00:05:50,400
There is no way that I am paying $3 ,000
to redecorate this house.
60
00:05:50,700 --> 00:05:52,020
Not the house, just this room.
61
00:05:53,940 --> 00:05:55,420
Harriet, you're trying to kill me.
62
00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:57,580
But we'll discuss this later.
63
00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:00,300
Oh, we'll discuss this later.
64
00:06:00,780 --> 00:06:02,840
That's husband talk for you can forget
it.
65
00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:05,640
That's right, Harriet.
66
00:06:05,980 --> 00:06:11,000
Just like, let's go out for a romantic
dinner. It's wife talk for I'm too tired
67
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,000
to cook.
68
00:07:41,230 --> 00:07:42,250
for Swirl.
69
00:08:31,340 --> 00:08:31,979
and surprise.
70
00:08:31,980 --> 00:08:32,980
Yes, it is, isn't it?
71
00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:36,320
Boy, that's a snappy outfit you're
wearing.
72
00:08:36,539 --> 00:08:38,320
Yeah. Chicks dig snappy.
73
00:08:40,340 --> 00:08:42,880
So, what brings you by, sir? My new
Porsche.
74
00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:44,400
Oh.
75
00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:47,240
Ooh.
76
00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:49,000
She is a beauty.
77
00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:03,900
So, Winslow, you still driving that
Gremlin?
78
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:08,460
I'm afraid so, sir.
79
00:09:08,940 --> 00:09:12,860
Maybe one day I'll be able to afford a
car like yours, but right now I'm barely
80
00:09:12,860 --> 00:09:14,600
able to redecorate my living room.
81
00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:16,240
Too bad. It needs it.
82
00:09:18,220 --> 00:09:20,660
Let me give you a little economics
lesson, Winslow.
83
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:23,580
Guess how much I paid for that Porsche.
84
00:09:25,100 --> 00:09:26,100
Oh, I don't know.
85
00:09:26,680 --> 00:09:27,680
$60 ,000.
86
00:09:28,020 --> 00:09:29,100
That's how much it costs.
87
00:09:29,420 --> 00:09:31,020
Guess how much I paid for it.
88
00:09:33,390 --> 00:09:34,390
$40 ,000?
89
00:09:35,050 --> 00:09:36,050
Wrong.
90
00:09:36,870 --> 00:09:40,250
I got it at a police auction. I only
paid $5 ,000.
91
00:09:41,490 --> 00:09:46,450
What? You mean no other cop bid more
than $5 ,000? Not if I ordered him not
92
00:09:47,790 --> 00:09:49,250
Boy, it's fun being me.
93
00:09:49,550 --> 00:09:52,890
I'm telling you, you get all sorts of
stuff cheap at police auctions,
94
00:09:52,890 --> 00:09:53,890
furniture.
95
00:09:54,950 --> 00:09:56,270
I never thought about that.
96
00:09:56,850 --> 00:10:00,010
Anyway, in a month there's going to be
another auction. Check it out.
97
00:10:00,770 --> 00:10:03,570
Well, it's time. me to go according to
my four dollar Rolex.
98
00:10:06,150 --> 00:10:09,330
Well, thanks for the advice, sir.
Anytime.
99
00:10:09,550 --> 00:10:10,550
I'm full of it.
100
00:10:10,790 --> 00:10:11,870
Yeah, that you are, sir.
101
00:10:16,130 --> 00:10:23,130
That calculus exam was a killer. I
thought
102
00:10:23,130 --> 00:10:24,990
I was going to wear out the batteries on
my calculator.
103
00:10:31,470 --> 00:10:32,149
Swirly alert.
104
00:10:32,150 --> 00:10:33,150
Let's go.
105
00:10:33,530 --> 00:10:34,690
I'm not budging.
106
00:10:35,110 --> 00:10:37,310
Stephen Q. Urkel runs away from no man.
107
00:10:37,830 --> 00:10:39,570
Rascal, a word with you?
108
00:10:40,470 --> 00:10:41,490
What do you want, Urkel?
109
00:10:41,870 --> 00:10:46,790
Just to let you and that Nimrod Dre know
that your swirly days with Stephen Q.
110
00:10:46,830 --> 00:10:48,070
Urkel are over.
111
00:10:48,630 --> 00:10:49,630
Man, get lost.
112
00:10:50,170 --> 00:10:53,190
As you can see, I've been working out
lately.
113
00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:12,340
Urkel, man. I know he's tight. I'm
flushing no action.
114
00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:15,920
Andre hasn't been around because he's in
the hospital.
115
00:11:19,860 --> 00:11:21,100
You've got leukemia.
116
00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:38,060
Andre had leukemia?
117
00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:40,360
Yeah, he did.
118
00:11:42,540 --> 00:11:44,200
Oh, I feel awful.
119
00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:50,400
I said a lot of bad things about Andre,
but I never wanted anything like this to
120
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:52,320
happen. Eve, of course you didn't.
121
00:11:52,740 --> 00:11:54,880
I gotta do something to cheer him up.
122
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:30,560
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
123
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:31,880
Close your eyes.
124
00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:34,820
I have a surprise for you.
125
00:12:38,380 --> 00:12:39,380
Come on.
126
00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:40,480
Come on.
127
00:12:41,220 --> 00:12:42,500
Keep your eyes closed.
128
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:45,160
Come on.
129
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:46,200
Come on.
130
00:12:46,380 --> 00:12:48,340
Okay. Open them up.
131
00:13:05,420 --> 00:13:06,420
Police auction.
132
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,440
Oh, look at that rat. There's a dead man
on him.
133
00:13:15,860 --> 00:13:18,280
That's no problem. He just peels right
up.
134
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:25,160
How? You got all this stuff from a
police auction?
135
00:13:25,420 --> 00:13:28,400
Yeah. Most of it belonged to Vinnie the
Rat Musconi.
136
00:13:28,900 --> 00:13:30,820
But he's been put away for ten years.
137
00:13:37,390 --> 00:13:38,990
so you're not hot for the rug.
138
00:13:39,350 --> 00:13:42,410
But, Harriet, take a look at this lamp.
139
00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:45,230
You must admit, it's quite lovely.
140
00:13:46,730 --> 00:13:49,910
Yeah? The bullet holes are a nice touch.
141
00:13:53,130 --> 00:13:55,730
Harriet, I got a great deal for this
stuff.
142
00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:10,800
Some of it was owned by drug lords and
hookers.
143
00:14:13,100 --> 00:14:14,380
Get it out of here, Carl.
144
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:15,980
Harriet, it's nice.
145
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:17,400
It's ugly.
146
00:14:17,580 --> 00:14:20,060
It's eclectic. It's ugly. It's
waterproof.
147
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:21,560
It's ugly.
148
00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:25,900
Harriet, you haven't heard the best
part.
149
00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:31,320
What would you say if I told you that I
only spent $312?
150
00:14:39,340 --> 00:14:41,700
Let's say you got taken for 300 bucks.
151
00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:46,700
Harriet, this was a great opportunity.
152
00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:49,420
I saw it and I seized it.
153
00:14:49,660 --> 00:14:50,660
And you want to know why?
154
00:14:50,780 --> 00:14:54,260
Well, I'll tell you why. Because I am
Mr.
155
00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:55,640
Action.
156
00:14:56,900 --> 00:15:01,500
No offense, Harriet, but you are Miss
Inaction.
157
00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:06,140
You mow, you ponder, and you dawdle.
158
00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:08,720
But I get things done.
159
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:12,940
because Carl Otis Winslow is Mr.
160
00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:14,360
Action.
161
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,600
Okay, Mr.
162
00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:19,840
Action.
163
00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:29,160
You can just sleep on this ugly sofa
because that's all the action you're
164
00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:30,160
going to be getting.
165
00:15:58,640 --> 00:15:59,640
Andre was doing better.
166
00:15:59,740 --> 00:16:01,000
Yeah. Well,
167
00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:04,980
he is. But what he really needs is a
bone marrow transplant.
168
00:16:05,620 --> 00:16:07,120
Well, why don't they just give him one?
169
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:11,960
Well, it's really hard finding a match.
And Andre's best chance for one is with
170
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:13,080
another African -American.
171
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:15,940
Unfortunately, not enough of us are
registered.
172
00:16:17,580 --> 00:16:20,920
Registered? To be registered, you have
your blood drawn and tested.
173
00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:23,560
Then, if you match a patient, they do
some more tests.
174
00:16:23,940 --> 00:16:26,880
Then, if it looks like you still match,
well, you well -aimed
175
00:16:32,300 --> 00:16:34,480
Sweet, sweet. But you have to be 18 or
over.
176
00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:38,020
But I see some seniors out there.
177
00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:42,360
Like the football team, for example.
178
00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:45,700
Well, I know a lot of you have to be 18,
19, 20, 21.
179
00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:52,480
You think it's safe this way? I'm 18.
I'll sign up. Okay, I'll step right up.
180
00:16:54,780 --> 00:16:56,040
Nice going, Steve.
181
00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:57,800
Oh, thanks, pickle cheeks.
182
00:16:58,060 --> 00:16:59,320
But this is just the beginning.
183
00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:01,820
Why, there's lots more work. to be done.
184
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:33,060
This furniture looks better in the dark.
185
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:35,260
I thought you liked this stuff.
186
00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:37,660
Well, I'm having second thoughts.
187
00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:42,420
You know, I think my good bargain
overshadowed my better judgment.
188
00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:44,540
Honey, look.
189
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:46,800
I know you were trying to help.
190
00:17:47,940 --> 00:17:49,960
But I wish you had talked to me first.
191
00:17:50,220 --> 00:17:52,620
Now, furniture is something we both have
to live with.
192
00:17:52,900 --> 00:17:54,440
We should have decided together.
193
00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:56,440
You're right, sweetheart.
194
00:17:57,980 --> 00:18:00,740
Tomorrow, I'll go get our old stuff from
Eddie's apartment.
195
00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:03,060
Thank God you didn't get rid of it.
196
00:18:04,380 --> 00:18:05,820
You know, I've been thinking,
sweetheart.
197
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,520
Furniture is very expensive.
198
00:18:09,340 --> 00:18:12,320
So maybe we should buy it a piece at a
time.
199
00:18:14,100 --> 00:18:15,580
Sounds like a plan to me.
200
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:18,040
Starting with a big screen TV.
201
00:18:21,340 --> 00:18:23,040
Or a nice couch.
202
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:26,040
Enough talk.
203
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:28,980
Let's go upstairs.
204
00:18:33,100 --> 00:18:34,640
Mr. Action.
205
00:19:30,890 --> 00:19:31,890
Hey, Urkel.
206
00:19:33,290 --> 00:19:34,370
I've been looking for you, man.
207
00:19:35,270 --> 00:19:36,270
Andre?
208
00:19:36,950 --> 00:19:39,270
Well, you're not still giving swirlies,
are you?
209
00:19:40,490 --> 00:19:41,490
Nah.
210
00:19:42,730 --> 00:19:45,970
I just came to thank you for helping me
find a bone marrow match.
211
00:19:46,710 --> 00:19:48,410
Oh, well, you're more than welcome.
212
00:19:49,110 --> 00:19:54,930
Yeah, I mean, for the drive like the one
you started, I... I probably wouldn't
213
00:19:54,930 --> 00:19:55,930
be here.
214
00:19:56,530 --> 00:19:57,870
No, I'm just glad I could...
215
00:20:03,530 --> 00:20:04,950
ask you, man. It's been bugging me for
months.
216
00:20:06,810 --> 00:20:08,190
Why do you lift a finger to help me?
217
00:20:08,730 --> 00:20:11,490
I mean, over the years, I must have
picked on you a hundred times.
218
00:20:11,870 --> 00:20:15,130
Well, actually, 132 if my journals are
up to date.
219
00:20:16,910 --> 00:20:19,090
Yeah, so why do you lift a finger to
help me?
220
00:20:21,410 --> 00:20:23,330
Because this is bigger than pranks.
221
00:20:23,970 --> 00:20:25,690
This is about saving your life.
222
00:20:28,930 --> 00:20:30,390
Besides, if you want to...
223
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:39,100
heard of people talk about angels on
earth but i guess maya wears suspenders
224
00:20:39,100 --> 00:20:45,900
i'll stop it or i'll get a swell head
you know something i gotta do to
225
00:20:45,900 --> 00:20:51,580
to repay you something i know won't you
give me a swirl okay
226
00:20:51,580 --> 00:20:57,860
then i'll buy you lunch oh great like
today is pork and a stick
227
00:20:57,860 --> 00:21:00,200
you even sit at my table
16937
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