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1
00:00:15,470 --> 00:00:16,470
Hey, Steve.
2
00:00:17,090 --> 00:00:18,730
Want to know why I'm wearing this suit?
3
00:00:18,990 --> 00:00:19,990
You're opening for Cher.
4
00:00:22,070 --> 00:00:27,030
Well, Rooney, you're looking at my
latest invention, the Uncle Magno suit.
5
00:00:27,770 --> 00:00:29,890
Well, it's an improvement over your
regular look.
6
00:00:30,390 --> 00:00:31,390
What does it do?
7
00:00:31,770 --> 00:00:32,769
Why don't you ask?
8
00:00:33,410 --> 00:00:35,050
It's a crime -busting device.
9
00:00:35,660 --> 00:00:40,540
Now, let's say I'm walking down the
street, minding my own business,
10
00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:47,400
and some slimeball jumps out of nowhere,
furnishing a gun. Well, am I
11
00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:49,020
afraid? No, sir.
12
00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:55,340
I just turn on my Erko Magno suit, and
the gun flies out of his hands and into
13
00:00:55,340 --> 00:00:56,340
mine.
14
00:00:59,780 --> 00:01:00,780
Oh.
15
00:01:02,380 --> 00:01:03,380
Oh.
16
00:01:08,970 --> 00:01:09,970
Wow,
17
00:01:13,550 --> 00:01:15,130
you're a human magnet. I'm impressed.
18
00:01:15,470 --> 00:01:16,470
Oh, thanks.
19
00:01:16,650 --> 00:01:19,670
Oh, I've got to show the big guy.
Where's he hanging? Well, I think he's
20
00:01:19,670 --> 00:01:20,670
kitchen.
21
00:01:37,450 --> 00:01:38,450
Please work.
22
00:02:23,340 --> 00:02:29,360
It's a rare condition this day and age
to read any good news on the newspaper
23
00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:35,640
page. And love and tradition of the
grand design, some people say, is even
24
00:02:35,640 --> 00:02:36,800
harder to find.
25
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:43,800
Well, then there must be some magic clue
inside these gentle walls.
26
00:02:45,180 --> 00:02:48,640
Because all I see is a tower of dreams.
27
00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:16,980
She should win, Mr. Keeney. She has the
prettiest face.
28
00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:18,560
Face?
29
00:03:22,940 --> 00:03:24,340
She's from Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
30
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,800
Eddie Winslow, are you using my fat slug
again?
31
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,560
Yeah, I use it to kill a spider.
32
00:03:34,980 --> 00:03:35,980
A spider?
33
00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:38,240
Will you relax?
34
00:03:38,420 --> 00:03:40,280
I can't. You're always using my stuff.
35
00:03:48,650 --> 00:03:50,130
no one takes anything without asking.
36
00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:52,850
We have to show each other a little more
consideration and respect.
37
00:03:53,330 --> 00:03:55,550
It's like Aretha said, R -U -S -P.
38
00:04:21,260 --> 00:04:22,400
making sure they're the right
temperature.
39
00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:24,800
Shrimp always tastes best when they're
cold.
40
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,600
Carl, you're getting all wound up again.
41
00:04:27,940 --> 00:04:29,440
Well, of course I'm wound up, Harriet.
42
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:32,440
Captain Savage is bringing his
girlfriend over for us to meet.
43
00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:35,940
Oh, honey, I wouldn't worry. He wouldn't
bring her over here if he didn't like
44
00:04:35,940 --> 00:04:36,940
you.
45
00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:39,200
Captain Savage, he's a crafty one.
46
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,900
He wants to see how I do under pressure.
47
00:04:42,540 --> 00:04:46,080
He's not going to promote me, Harriet,
until he knows how I do under pressure.
48
00:04:46,220 --> 00:04:48,280
And I'm good under pressure, aren't I,
Harriet? Huh? Right?
49
00:04:57,640 --> 00:05:01,120
broiler, made the salad, and set the
table. Oh, thanks, honey. You want to
50
00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:02,019
for dinner?
51
00:05:02,020 --> 00:05:03,020
Well, let's see.
52
00:05:03,580 --> 00:05:07,180
Dinner with four middle -aged adults or
a date with a really cute guy.
53
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:08,900
Hmm, that's a tough decision.
54
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:13,660
Have a nice time. I better go get ready.
55
00:05:36,430 --> 00:05:39,730
I'd like you two to meet a very special
lady, Lois Keller.
56
00:05:41,590 --> 00:05:45,650
I'm so glad to meet you, Mr. Lackey. No,
no, darling.
57
00:05:46,370 --> 00:05:47,650
Let me explain this again.
58
00:05:50,930 --> 00:05:52,290
Winslow is their last name.
59
00:05:53,210 --> 00:05:54,750
Lackey is my nickname for Carl.
60
00:05:57,270 --> 00:05:58,610
You have a lovely heart.
61
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:11,460
For some reason, I feel like we've met
before.
62
00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:15,200
I don't think so. I probably have one of
those faces.
63
00:06:17,260 --> 00:06:19,740
What's that wonderful aroma wafting from
the kitchen?
64
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:24,880
Ah, that steak with scallop potatoes.
One of my favorites. Of course, I like
65
00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:25,880
just about everything.
66
00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:28,400
Except shrimp. I hate shrimp.
67
00:06:33,580 --> 00:06:36,080
This isn't real shrimp.
68
00:06:37,100 --> 00:06:38,100
It's wax.
69
00:06:47,470 --> 00:06:49,930
is the most delicious looking cake I've
ever seen.
70
00:06:50,150 --> 00:06:52,850
Thanks. It's a double dutch chocolate
Bavarian cream.
71
00:06:53,110 --> 00:06:54,570
It's my midterm for pastry 101.
72
00:06:55,050 --> 00:06:58,410
But this old stove is so fussy that
baking this cake was no piece of cake.
73
00:07:01,870 --> 00:07:05,170
It doesn't matter, Waldo. I'm sure
you're gonna get an A.
74
00:07:06,010 --> 00:07:07,010
Really?
75
00:07:07,330 --> 00:07:09,330
I wonder what an A looks like.
76
00:07:11,850 --> 00:07:14,210
I always get it confused with that
letter from the alphabet.
77
00:07:19,820 --> 00:07:20,820
Can I help you do your laundry?
78
00:07:21,060 --> 00:07:22,060
Let's go see a movie.
79
00:07:22,420 --> 00:07:23,500
Cool. What do you want to see?
80
00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:26,420
Anything. As long as I'm with you.
81
00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:31,400
Who's in that?
82
00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:35,760
Let's just do your laundry.
83
00:07:35,980 --> 00:07:36,980
Cool.
84
00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:39,880
Bye,
85
00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:41,400
guys. Later.
86
00:07:43,140 --> 00:07:44,660
Shooting hoops makes me hungry.
87
00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,720
Me, too. I can eat a whole cheese wheel.
88
00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:55,540
Waldo, bake the cake.
89
00:07:58,900 --> 00:08:01,040
Were you sure he won't mind if we have
some?
90
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,600
Nah, he's always whipping up stuff.
91
00:08:40,169 --> 00:08:41,169
check my midterm before we leave.
92
00:08:42,049 --> 00:08:43,750
Midterm? Yeah, it's in the fridge.
93
00:08:43,950 --> 00:08:46,810
I baked a luscious double Dutch
chocolate Bavarian cream cake.
94
00:08:53,590 --> 00:08:56,150
Did you hear that, Steve?
95
00:08:57,290 --> 00:08:59,810
Waldo baked a cake for his midterm.
96
00:09:00,710 --> 00:09:01,609
Sure did.
97
00:09:01,610 --> 00:09:02,610
Sure did.
98
00:09:03,850 --> 00:09:06,150
Ooh, I bet it tastes fantastic.
99
00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:13,150
I better check it before we hit the
movie.
100
00:09:13,990 --> 00:09:20,670
Before you go to the fridge, I think
there's something you should know.
101
00:09:20,930 --> 00:09:24,250
Why do I need to know?
102
00:09:24,850 --> 00:09:30,230
What he meant to say is, don't put
butter on your popcorn.
103
00:09:30,490 --> 00:09:31,490
It's all fair.
104
00:09:31,930 --> 00:09:32,970
But what about my cake?
105
00:09:33,270 --> 00:09:37,110
Hey, I'll check on it. Besides, you guys
don't want to miss the movie.
106
00:09:37,590 --> 00:09:38,870
Mama, what are you going to see?
107
00:09:39,690 --> 00:09:40,950
Anything as long as I'm with you.
108
00:09:43,530 --> 00:09:44,530
I think it's foreign.
109
00:09:45,450 --> 00:09:46,450
Max picked it up.
110
00:09:47,990 --> 00:09:48,990
Don't ask.
111
00:09:53,430 --> 00:09:55,710
Eddie, why didn't you tell Waldo the
truth?
112
00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:56,949
Are you crazy?
113
00:09:56,950 --> 00:09:59,110
You see how he acts when I take his
stuff?
114
00:09:59,830 --> 00:10:05,270
And now, Eddo, we all know Waldo isn't a
nuclear physicist, but I'm willing to
115
00:10:05,270 --> 00:10:07,350
bet he's gonna notice the cake is
missing.
116
00:10:11,250 --> 00:10:12,350
No, he won't.
117
00:10:12,670 --> 00:10:15,550
Because tomorrow there's going to be a
double Dutch chocolate Bavarian cream
118
00:10:15,550 --> 00:10:18,170
cake in that fridge, and we're going to
bake it. Oh!
119
00:10:20,190 --> 00:10:21,350
No, sir!
120
00:10:22,110 --> 00:10:26,150
No way in Hades will I be a party to
this deception.
121
00:10:27,250 --> 00:10:29,090
I'll go to that stupid poker festival
with you.
122
00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:47,599
two lovebirds meeting?
123
00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:49,680
Oh, it was in church one Sunday.
124
00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:51,940
I saw this angel. It was her.
125
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:56,620
So I walked over to her and said, excuse
me, miss, but did you step out of a
126
00:10:56,620 --> 00:10:57,660
stained glass window?
127
00:10:59,420 --> 00:11:00,500
How romantic.
128
00:11:01,540 --> 00:11:05,120
Uh, Harriet, I need your help in the
kitchen.
129
00:11:05,500 --> 00:11:06,500
Why?
130
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:11,240
Because we, uh, uh, uh, we need more
cookies.
131
00:11:12,660 --> 00:11:15,980
Yeah, we'll go get some more, uh, uh,
cookies? Yeah.
132
00:11:20,270 --> 00:11:24,930
If we do this together, it'll give these
two lovebirds time to smooch. Oh, good
133
00:11:24,930 --> 00:11:27,530
thinking, Winslow. Not before you come
back.
134
00:11:32,070 --> 00:11:35,490
Carl, what are... Harriet,
135
00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:40,370
I finally figured out where I've seen
Lois before.
136
00:11:40,730 --> 00:11:43,390
Where? At the boom -boom room. She's a
stripper.
137
00:11:53,930 --> 00:11:55,630
Savage's girlfriend is a stripper? Yes.
138
00:11:56,390 --> 00:11:58,230
I never forget her face.
139
00:12:03,430 --> 00:12:08,170
Harriet, I was questioning a witness to
a crime. She came on stage and I just
140
00:12:08,170 --> 00:12:10,390
happened to glance up in her direction a
few times.
141
00:12:13,630 --> 00:12:14,850
Carl, what are you going to do?
142
00:12:15,490 --> 00:12:17,350
Pretend it never happened. You can't.
143
00:12:17,690 --> 00:12:20,190
Captain Savage should know about this.
You've got to tell him. Uh -uh.
144
00:12:20,810 --> 00:12:23,090
Captain Savage is the kind of man who
kills the messenger.
145
00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:27,330
He worships that woman. He thinks she's
an angel. I can't go out there and tell
146
00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:29,950
that man his girlfriend is out there
going boom, boom, boom, boom.
147
00:12:36,070 --> 00:12:39,010
Carl, if it were you, wouldn't you want
to know?
148
00:12:39,670 --> 00:12:41,970
I don't know, Harriet.
149
00:12:44,250 --> 00:12:45,790
I think you're wrong on this one.
150
00:12:46,050 --> 00:12:49,510
No, I'm not. I know what I'm talking
about. You've got to touch me on this
151
00:12:49,550 --> 00:12:50,550
Carl.
152
00:12:50,950 --> 00:12:51,950
Okay, Harriet.
153
00:12:52,430 --> 00:12:56,530
But I have to go out... there and tell
that man that his girlfriend has a
154
00:12:56,530 --> 00:13:02,670
butterfly tattooed on her hiney i
thought you just glanced at her
155
00:13:02,670 --> 00:13:07,750
well i'm a cop i am cursed with an eye
for detail
156
00:13:07,750 --> 00:13:14,690
tell winslow what do you think of lois
oh
157
00:13:14,690 --> 00:13:20,250
she's a fine woman sir fine woman yeah
she's everything i ever wanted she's
158
00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:22,170
beautiful kind sensitive
159
00:13:23,340 --> 00:13:25,440
She can kill a deer with one arrow.
160
00:13:27,980 --> 00:13:30,700
Well, those are hard qualities to find,
sir.
161
00:13:31,340 --> 00:13:33,380
I know. That's why I ain't gonna let her
get away.
162
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:36,500
I'm gonna get down on my knees and I'm
gonna beg her to marry me.
163
00:13:37,060 --> 00:13:38,060
You are?
164
00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:42,940
Uh, doctor, sir, uh, can I be candid?
165
00:13:43,820 --> 00:13:44,820
How candid?
166
00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:49,400
Well, well, Captain, it may be something
that might hurt you very deeply.
167
00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:51,040
Spit it out.
168
00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:52,440
Well, Captain,
169
00:13:53,340 --> 00:13:54,340
Yes, sir.
170
00:13:57,460 --> 00:14:01,980
Captain, Lois is a stripper at the Boom
Boom Room.
171
00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:04,940
Yeah, she's the headliner.
172
00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:11,040
Oh, you know.
173
00:14:11,820 --> 00:14:14,060
Of course. You got a problem with that?
174
00:14:14,380 --> 00:14:19,800
Oh, well, I... I can't believe how
pompous and judgmental you are.
175
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,500
Oh, well, I'm not... She's an artiste.
176
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:25,260
God, have you ever seen her open a
bottle of soda with her navel?
177
00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:31,400
I haven't had the pleasure, sir. But why
didn't you tell me about this before?
178
00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:34,780
I was going to surprise you and Harry
with two front row seats to the Boom
179
00:14:34,780 --> 00:14:38,500
Room for Saturday night. But you blew
it. And to think I had high hopes for
180
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:41,860
Oh, but, sir, I'm sorry. Look, save your
energy, because you're going to need it
181
00:14:41,860 --> 00:14:43,060
for foot patrol for two months.
182
00:14:43,340 --> 00:14:44,680
Two months? Make it three.
183
00:14:45,300 --> 00:14:47,900
Lois! Oh, Captain, this is all a
misunderstanding.
184
00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:50,640
Come on, we're leaving.
185
00:14:51,260 --> 00:14:52,440
But I was learning about...
186
00:14:52,940 --> 00:14:53,940
Let's go.
187
00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:55,260
What's the matter?
188
00:14:55,380 --> 00:14:56,380
I'll tell you later.
189
00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:58,480
I love you, China.
190
00:14:59,100 --> 00:15:00,220
How much did it cost?
191
00:15:03,220 --> 00:15:04,220
Captain.
192
00:15:07,020 --> 00:15:07,460
I
193
00:15:07,460 --> 00:15:14,580
guess
194
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:15,580
you told him, huh?
195
00:15:30,860 --> 00:15:34,280
Made me tell him. Carl, I... Trust me,
Carl.
196
00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:38,680
He'd want to know, Carl.
197
00:15:39,540 --> 00:15:41,360
He'll thank you, Carl.
198
00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:44,380
Well, he thanked me, Harriet.
199
00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:47,540
He thanked me with three months of foot
patrol.
200
00:15:48,260 --> 00:15:53,480
He knows that she's a stripper. He likes
the fact that she's a stripper. He's
201
00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:56,420
probably brought his mom down to the
club to meet her.
202
00:15:58,860 --> 00:15:59,860
I'm sorry.
203
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:03,880
But you know something, Harriet?
204
00:16:06,460 --> 00:16:10,160
There is a silver lining to all of this.
205
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:20,340
I'd love to hear it, Carl. I finally get
to utter the words
206
00:16:20,340 --> 00:16:25,080
that I have been waiting 20 long years
to say.
207
00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:30,300
What, Carl?
208
00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:35,730
Harriet, you were...
209
00:18:31,660 --> 00:18:36,480
Listen, Waldo, we sort of accidentally
ate your cake.
210
00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:38,500
You what?
211
00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:42,240
And we tried to cover it up by thinking
another way.
212
00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:48,280
This is the most stupid thing we've ever
done.
213
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:49,560
Exactly, exactly.
214
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:53,940
I'm so, so disappointed that we could be
so underhanded.
215
00:19:02,540 --> 00:19:08,900
Sorry I have to be so rough on you guys,
but... I had to get that out.
216
00:19:11,820 --> 00:19:14,840
Well, I guess I better call the landlord
and give him the good news.
217
00:19:15,740 --> 00:19:17,340
And I'll start cleaning up.
218
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:19,680
Hold the pickles.
219
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:23,500
This isn't over till the fat lady takes
a bath.
220
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:26,920
What?
221
00:19:28,940 --> 00:19:30,420
Look, I know what you guys are thinking.
222
00:19:31,310 --> 00:19:37,430
you can walk all over me because you
think i'm dumb well i have feelings too
223
00:19:37,430 --> 00:19:44,190
you cut me do i not cough if you
224
00:19:44,190 --> 00:19:50,550
hit me do i not sneeze and if you call
me names do i not eat
225
00:20:03,820 --> 00:20:05,400
Look, Waldo, I'm sorry.
226
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:07,000
I really messed up.
227
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:08,980
I've been a lousy roommate.
228
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,680
But from now on, I'm going to do better.
229
00:20:13,180 --> 00:20:14,820
I care about you, Waldo.
230
00:20:15,740 --> 00:20:17,740
And I'm not going to take advantage of
you anymore.
231
00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:20,080
Friend?
232
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:24,680
Well, I guess the fat lady took her
bath.
17972
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