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Previously on Family Max.
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By tomorrow night, Steve Urkel will
become Stefan Urkel.
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Forever.
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Wake me, shake me, and break me, but
baby, don't forsake me.
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00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:04,200
Why don't you break down and get you
some glasses?
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Too bad you can't pull a Stefan.
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A what?
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Well, Stefan or Cal doesn't need
glasses. But when he was Steve Urkel, he
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couldn't see Zip without them.
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00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:17,060
Sounds like what you need is a
transformation chamber.
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00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:06,140
It's a rare condition this day and age
to read any good news on the newspaper
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00:02:06,140 --> 00:02:12,420
page. The love and tradition of the
grand design, some people say, is even
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harder to find.
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00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:20,620
Well, then there must be some magic clue
inside these gentle walls.
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00:02:21,980 --> 00:02:28,720
Because all I see is a tower of dreams,
real love bursting out of every scene.
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Lord, he's a nerd.
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Espousing, camaraderie, and human
interaction makes me a nerd?
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00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:06,660
Well, if so, then I plead guilty.
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What did I just say?
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No, I didn't shut off the machine in
time.
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He's half nerd, half Carl.
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So does that make me a gnarled?
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What the heck was that?
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00:03:31,630 --> 00:03:35,530
asymmetrical bodies, or phylum nematoda,
worm -like animals with fluid -filled
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chambers that separate their body walls
from their insides.
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Matt, how'd you learn all that stuff?
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I have no idea.
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Stefan, you gotta help me. I can't live
like this. You've got to fix that
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machine.
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Okay, look, look, give me some time.
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Oh, gosh, I gotta rewire the chamber.
It's gonna take some time.
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00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:01,700
I'm gonna have to buy some parts.
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00:04:02,020 --> 00:04:05,820
Oh, here, here. Take some casheroonie
and fix it soonie.
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00:04:08,260 --> 00:04:09,800
Now I know it's not Carl.
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All right.
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Give me about 24 hours. I should have it
fixed by then. Okay.
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00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:20,300
Well, I better go break this newsflash
to Harriet.
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Did I do that?
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little kitchen elf.
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00:04:47,070 --> 00:04:48,070
Hi, Carl.
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Oh, my.
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What a delicious looking confection.
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Yeah, the church is having a bake sale.
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Oh, and it's so purdy.
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00:05:00,590 --> 00:05:02,910
Carl, that's a great impression of
Steve.
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Uh, Sweetums. What?
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Brace yourself.
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This isn't an impression.
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I'm a nerd.
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00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:26,640
Carl, stop talking like that. You're
scaring me.
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I wish I could.
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Then pull your pants out your armpits.
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No way, baby.
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Because I'm styling.
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Harry, stop me, please, Harry. I can't
stop. Please, Harry, stop me.
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transformation chamber and i heard a lot
of neato fourth noises and i came out
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00:06:04,620 --> 00:06:11,440
like this i'm half carl and i'm half
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nerd the trouble is i don't know when
i'm gonna be carl and i don't know when
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i'm gonna be the next
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muted the hydraulic
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machine and came out a nerd.
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Dad, this is terrible.
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00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,060
Is there anything we can do to help?
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00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,460
Rent me an accordion. I feel a poker
coming on.
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00:07:25,580 --> 00:07:27,380
Car, car, stop it. You're scaring the
kids.
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00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:30,280
Wait a minute.
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00:07:30,660 --> 00:07:33,220
Wait. I don't have time to stand around
and poker.
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00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:35,520
I have to go to work.
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00:07:35,820 --> 00:07:38,280
After all, I'm a cop.
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I'm one of Chicago's finest.
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Yeah, I'm gonna go. catch some bad guys
i'm gonna put on my shiny badge
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and my cop hat and i'm gonna go to work
no i may look
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different on the outside but i still
have the same cat -like reflexes i've
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always had
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Had less and less time talking like
this.
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00:09:12,540 --> 00:09:15,820
Man, the gene transformation is
accelerating.
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00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:21,120
Yeah. I've been listening to the
Bulgarian women's choir, ironing my
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and I have this wild urge to eat cheese.
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00:09:26,180 --> 00:09:30,340
So have you finished fixing the chamber
yet? Have you yet? Have you yet? Not
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00:09:30,340 --> 00:09:31,340
yet.
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00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:35,080
Oh, golly gosh darn.
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Excuse my foul language.
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My work on the chamber is coming along
slowly.
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00:09:46,410 --> 00:09:49,830
I may be cooler now, but I'm not as
smart as I used to be.
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00:09:51,170 --> 00:09:56,070
Well, obviously, your crystal diode
transformer is put in backwards.
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Hand me a number three Allen wrench.
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It's fags.
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Fags? Uh -oh.
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00:10:23,260 --> 00:10:24,260
What's wrong?
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00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:28,260
I've got a crazy impulse to name all the
colors I bought. Okay, fight that
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impulse, Carl.
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I'll try.
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I'll try. But it's not gonna be easy.
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00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:36,720
Oh, please.
95
00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:40,640
Now, look, I've been working at this all
night. That's why I have this
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00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:41,640
fashionable stubble.
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00:10:44,220 --> 00:10:47,580
So it would really help me out if you
could just keep...
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00:10:48,030 --> 00:10:49,030
Quiet.
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00:12:29,670 --> 00:12:31,930
Hello, magnificent mother of the lady I
love.
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00:12:32,570 --> 00:12:34,330
Yes, well, I fixed the machine.
101
00:12:34,550 --> 00:12:38,010
And if you like Carl back the way he
was, just tell me a time that would be
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convenient. I'm here, I'm here.
103
00:12:41,650 --> 00:12:43,290
Let's do it. Then hurry.
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00:12:43,770 --> 00:12:45,750
I had to sleep with this man last night.
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00:12:49,670 --> 00:12:53,530
Yeah, I'm eager, too. I've been denied
my husbandly rights.
106
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,960
With a woman as beautiful as Harriet,
that's a terrible loss.
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00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:04,220
That's right, because I've been missing
her kissing.
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00:13:05,100 --> 00:13:06,100
All right.
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Carl, is that really you?
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I think so.
111
00:14:04,230 --> 00:14:06,810
Look, Carl, Harriet's wearing a new
outfit.
112
00:14:07,670 --> 00:14:09,990
Well, it looks expensive. How much does
it cost?
113
00:14:11,790 --> 00:14:12,689
He's back.
114
00:14:12,690 --> 00:14:15,390
Oh, Carl, it's you. It's really you.
115
00:14:16,970 --> 00:14:19,110
You know, I never should have let you
get into that chamber.
116
00:14:19,370 --> 00:14:20,370
That's for sure.
117
00:14:20,590 --> 00:14:22,430
All I wanted to do was improve my
eyesight.
118
00:14:23,250 --> 00:14:24,330
That's what this is about.
119
00:14:24,810 --> 00:14:27,430
Carl, I begged you to get glasses. Well,
I know.
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00:14:28,110 --> 00:14:29,870
But I was afraid how they'd make me
look.
121
00:14:30,730 --> 00:14:32,310
I thought they'd make me look old.
122
00:14:32,690 --> 00:14:35,110
So I went into the chamber and instead I
ended up like Steve.
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00:14:36,370 --> 00:14:39,830
Look, I'm going to get glasses, Harriet.
I don't care if they make me look old.
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00:14:39,950 --> 00:14:41,270
I need to be myself.
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00:14:42,290 --> 00:14:43,290
That's my guy.
126
00:14:47,330 --> 00:14:48,330
Yeah.
127
00:14:49,190 --> 00:14:50,190
You're right.
128
00:14:50,730 --> 00:14:54,290
So what if a person needs glasses or
they're clumsy or short?
129
00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:57,190
I mean, the fact is...
130
00:14:57,859 --> 00:14:58,859
Everyone's different.
131
00:14:59,140 --> 00:15:01,500
And it would be a boring world if we
were all the same.
132
00:15:03,180 --> 00:15:04,940
What's important is that you like
yourself.
133
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:08,340
No, love yourself, right?
134
00:15:09,260 --> 00:15:10,620
Right. Well said.
135
00:15:11,180 --> 00:15:12,180
Yeah.
136
00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:14,720
So how come I'm not listening to myself?
137
00:15:35,340 --> 00:15:39,360
You look very handsome, Stephon. Ah,
thank you. And you look beautiful.
138
00:15:40,180 --> 00:15:42,060
But there's something wrong with your
lips.
139
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:45,520
What? They're not touching mine.
140
00:15:50,940 --> 00:15:57,780
My lips feel
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00:15:57,780 --> 00:15:58,780
much better now.
142
00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:03,560
Would you like your picture taken?
143
00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:07,500
Ah, certainly. But you know the film
hasn't been invented that can fully
144
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:08,580
this lady's loveliness.
145
00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:10,480
Wow.
146
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:12,920
You have a brother?
147
00:16:23,460 --> 00:16:25,220
I'll bring you your photo right back.
148
00:16:27,740 --> 00:16:30,120
You know, Stefan, this has been a
wonderful evening.
149
00:16:31,630 --> 00:16:33,910
and after dinner, I'm available to neck
for six or seven hours.
150
00:16:35,490 --> 00:16:39,390
That's a tempting offer, but there's
something I have to tell you.
151
00:16:40,050 --> 00:16:41,050
Oh?
152
00:16:45,930 --> 00:16:49,410
You know, Laura, your father said
something to me that really hit home.
153
00:16:50,630 --> 00:16:56,790
He taught me that if you just be
yourself and you love yourself, that
154
00:16:56,790 --> 00:16:57,790
will love you, too.
155
00:16:58,670 --> 00:16:59,850
True love is unconditional.
156
00:17:02,410 --> 00:17:03,410
Well, that's true.
157
00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:07,670
Laura, as Stefan or Kel, I'm cool.
158
00:17:08,890 --> 00:17:09,890
Incredibly cool.
159
00:17:10,990 --> 00:17:12,369
But I'm also artificial.
160
00:17:13,069 --> 00:17:15,170
And I just can't live this lie anymore.
161
00:17:17,310 --> 00:17:19,530
I have to change back to who I really
am.
162
00:17:20,950 --> 00:17:21,950
Steve Urkel.
163
00:17:24,810 --> 00:17:27,650
But, Stefan, no, no, no, you don't.
Really.
164
00:17:28,730 --> 00:17:31,390
Laura, Laura, just remember, though.
165
00:17:32,330 --> 00:17:35,610
Even though I'm not real, my love for
you is.
166
00:17:38,470 --> 00:17:39,850
Stefan, I don't understand.
167
00:17:41,230 --> 00:17:42,410
I love you, too.
168
00:17:43,170 --> 00:17:45,850
And if we both love each other, then why
can't we be together?
169
00:17:47,110 --> 00:17:48,350
Because I don't love me.
170
00:17:50,410 --> 00:17:52,130
But, see, we could work on that.
171
00:17:52,470 --> 00:17:57,490
We could take some classes, you know, a
few self -help tapes. You know, they're
172
00:17:57,490 --> 00:18:01,050
great during traffic. You just pop one
in and... I'm sorry.
173
00:18:03,310 --> 00:18:04,310
I'm sorry.
174
00:18:05,010 --> 00:18:06,710
But it's just not meant to be.
175
00:18:10,510 --> 00:18:11,890
So when are you going to do this?
176
00:18:12,530 --> 00:18:16,450
Well, there's nothing to do. I didn't
take my last step on recharge, so it's
177
00:18:16,450 --> 00:18:17,450
just a matter of time.
178
00:18:18,530 --> 00:18:19,550
How much time?
179
00:18:19,990 --> 00:18:24,690
Well, it's hard to say. It could be
several days or several hours or...
180
00:18:35,210 --> 00:18:37,130
I'm sorry, my sweet, sweet love. I am
sorry.
181
00:18:37,970 --> 00:18:39,070
But this is goodbye.
182
00:18:40,430 --> 00:18:41,430
Forever.
183
00:18:44,310 --> 00:18:47,450
And now I must leave before I draw
attention to myself.
184
00:18:52,610 --> 00:18:53,150
Having
185
00:18:53,150 --> 00:19:00,790
champagne?
186
00:20:06,990 --> 00:20:07,990
Don't worry.
187
00:20:09,210 --> 00:20:10,210
He'll be back.
14191
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