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1
00:00:05,340 --> 00:00:06,360
Heather? Yes?
2
00:00:06,620 --> 00:00:08,460
Baby, I'm sure glad dinner's over.
3
00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:09,379
How come?
4
00:00:09,380 --> 00:00:10,780
Because now it's time for dessert.
5
00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:12,160
All right.
6
00:00:12,900 --> 00:00:13,900
Hidey -ho, little!
7
00:00:21,020 --> 00:00:23,800
Oops. Apparently I caught you with your
hands full.
8
00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:28,300
Steve, I hate to be rude, but get out.
9
00:00:29,380 --> 00:00:33,200
Well, wait a minute. You haven't
introduced me to your pretty pucker
10
00:00:34,890 --> 00:00:38,450
Steve Urkel. Don't tell me, don't tell
me, don't tell me.
11
00:00:39,070 --> 00:00:41,410
You've talked about her ad nauseum.
12
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,570
You must be the lovely Sherry.
13
00:01:28,330 --> 00:01:34,350
It's a rare condition, this day and age,
to read any good news on the newspaper
14
00:01:34,350 --> 00:01:40,610
page. And love and tradition of the
grand design, some people say, is even
15
00:01:40,610 --> 00:01:41,810
harder to find.
16
00:01:43,050 --> 00:01:48,830
Well, then there must be some magic clue
inside these gentle walls.
17
00:01:50,250 --> 00:01:53,750
Because all I see is a tower of dreams.
18
00:02:32,300 --> 00:02:33,360
The turkey inside it did.
19
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:37,080
Why isn't Aunt Harriet cooking?
20
00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:41,980
Well, she's got a part -time job at
Captain Kidd's restaurant.
21
00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:45,420
Isn't that the place where everyone
dresses like a pirate?
22
00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:54,280
Yep. I'm one of you, Carl. No pirate
jokes.
23
00:03:02,220 --> 00:03:07,120
or you won't get your authentic Captain
Kidd eye patch.
24
00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:09,080
Oh, thanks.
25
00:03:10,420 --> 00:03:12,780
So, sweetheart, tell us about the new
job.
26
00:03:13,020 --> 00:03:15,520
Well, I'm only working security.
27
00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:19,820
My biggest challenge is making sure the
landlubbers only go to the salad by
28
00:03:19,820 --> 00:03:20,820
once.
29
00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:35,320
looking like that.
30
00:03:37,180 --> 00:03:40,500
Careful, Laura. I'm tired, and I have a
sword.
31
00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:43,820
So, Laura, what's your good news?
32
00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:48,760
My bank account runneth over. I finally
saved enough money to buy myself a car.
33
00:03:52,380 --> 00:03:53,380
Congratulations,
34
00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:56,320
honey. So what kind of car did you pick
out?
35
00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:59,180
Well, I was down at Honest Bob's Used
But Not Abused Cars.
36
00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:00,760
Uh -oh.
37
00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:03,220
Sweetheart, you have to be extra
careful.
38
00:04:03,550 --> 00:04:05,730
of a place that has the word honest in
its name.
39
00:04:06,130 --> 00:04:10,670
Oh, I know. Well, anyway, I was walking
around the lot, and bam, I saw a beauty.
40
00:04:10,930 --> 00:04:12,710
An amazing piece of work.
41
00:04:12,990 --> 00:04:15,250
And then he stepped aside and I saw the
car I liked.
42
00:04:16,950 --> 00:04:18,190
You see the rose, right?
43
00:04:18,790 --> 00:04:19,790
Not quite.
44
00:04:19,930 --> 00:04:21,490
It's an 81 Fiat Spider.
45
00:04:21,810 --> 00:04:23,170
Oh, honey, that's an old car.
46
00:04:23,410 --> 00:04:27,030
Oh, I know, but she's absolutely
gorgeous when she's all tanked up and
47
00:04:27,030 --> 00:04:27,729
is down.
48
00:04:27,730 --> 00:04:28,730
So is your mother.
49
00:04:35,660 --> 00:04:38,420
when you go down to buy the car? You
know, these salesmen can be pretty
50
00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:40,120
No, no, no, I can handle it.
51
00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:43,560
I've done my homework on this car. I
know exactly what it's worth.
52
00:04:44,260 --> 00:04:46,740
Okay, but I'm here if you change your
mind.
53
00:04:46,980 --> 00:04:48,960
I appreciate that, Dad, but I'm an adult
now.
54
00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:53,320
I earned the money myself, I did the
research myself, and now I want to buy
55
00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:55,380
myself. Are you going to pay for the
insurance yourself?
56
00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:56,900
Hey, I can't do everything myself.
57
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:29,320
Watch me drive off to my brand new used
car. You got it.
58
00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:39,760
Come on, Ralph.
59
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,960
The price isn't written in stone. It's
written in shoe polish.
60
00:05:43,340 --> 00:05:44,159
Come on.
61
00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:45,220
Make me an offer.
62
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:52,780
I'll give you $2 ,400.
63
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,720
Cash. Ralph.
64
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:57,540
Ralphie. That's a $3 ,000 car.
65
00:05:58,780 --> 00:05:59,780
$2 ,900.
66
00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:01,620
Come on, Bob.
67
00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:04,780
What do you want it to do, sit here and
collect more dust?
68
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:08,960
I'll give you $2 ,600, but that's the
best I can do.
69
00:06:09,780 --> 00:06:11,640
Well, I like your shirt.
70
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,260
A dog's name, Ralph.
71
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,220
Oh, what the heck? You got yourself a
car.
72
00:06:16,340 --> 00:06:18,500
You go wake up Norm in the office, he'll
write you up.
73
00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:20,920
Office?
74
00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:22,560
You mean this trailer?
75
00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:27,320
Hey. For your information, that's our
service department, customer lounge, and
76
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:28,880
employee daycare center.
77
00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:32,020
Daddy! Shut up! I'm busy!
78
00:06:40,580 --> 00:06:41,580
Hello,
79
00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:45,980
little lady. I'm Bob Futterman, but most
folks call me Honest Bob.
80
00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:47,520
I'm Laura Winslow.
81
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:55,720
I'm interested in a car. Would you like
me to show you around? Or is something
82
00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:57,160
already tickled your fancy?
83
00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:00,020
Well, uh, what's the story on this 81
Fiat?
84
00:07:00,260 --> 00:07:03,020
The story is, it's a great car that
costs $2 ,000.
85
00:07:03,540 --> 00:07:05,600
Buy it. I'll live happily ever after.
86
00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:08,360
I'll give you $1 ,600.
87
00:07:09,140 --> 00:07:11,640
Okay. And then you'll come back tomorrow
with the other $400?
88
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:15,520
Uh, no, I don't think so.
89
00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:19,820
Why don't we take a look, see if this is
you go over here. Come on. Come on.
90
00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:21,160
Ooh.
91
00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:23,970
It's a pretty color.
92
00:07:30,230 --> 00:07:31,230
Bumper optional.
93
00:07:33,610 --> 00:07:34,850
Oh, look, look, look.
94
00:07:35,110 --> 00:07:37,590
It's $1 ,500. Well, that's right up your
wallet.
95
00:07:39,090 --> 00:07:40,410
I don't want this car.
96
00:07:40,670 --> 00:07:44,550
Are you sure? It has an automatic. The
Fiat is a stick.
97
00:07:44,890 --> 00:07:47,030
That's very, very difficult.
98
00:07:49,350 --> 00:07:50,630
I can drive a stick.
99
00:07:53,070 --> 00:07:54,110
I'll give you $1 ,750.
100
00:07:54,490 --> 00:07:56,370
Oh, sorry, sweetheart.
101
00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:58,370
Lowest I'll go is $1 ,900.
102
00:07:58,690 --> 00:07:59,690
Take it or leave it.
103
00:08:04,170 --> 00:08:09,210
I'll leave it. Oh, phooey. But I'll bet
you'll be back, little lady. Only hope
104
00:08:09,210 --> 00:08:10,210
the car will still be here.
105
00:08:10,810 --> 00:08:11,810
Don't be a stranger.
106
00:08:12,270 --> 00:08:14,070
There's something always good under the
hood.
107
00:08:14,610 --> 00:08:15,610
Bye -bye.
108
00:08:18,310 --> 00:08:19,310
Don't be a stranger.
109
00:08:48,430 --> 00:08:53,050
Why? I called Helen and profusely
apologized for my social gap.
110
00:08:53,250 --> 00:08:58,770
I explained that all those other women I
mentioned are persona non grata in the
111
00:08:58,770 --> 00:09:00,790
Eddie Winslow big book of love.
112
00:09:01,230 --> 00:09:05,630
Well, let me tell you, Helen was
speechless.
113
00:09:07,010 --> 00:09:08,010
I'll bet.
114
00:09:08,550 --> 00:09:11,670
Because the girl that was here before
was...
115
00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:19,320
Buzz your dick.
116
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:22,440
Uh -uh. Tell us.
117
00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:25,000
Come back here, Steve.
118
00:09:28,940 --> 00:09:31,280
Laura, what's going on down here?
119
00:09:32,340 --> 00:09:33,700
Eddie's trying to kill Steve.
120
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,380
Then why do you look so sad?
121
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,140
I didn't get my car.
122
00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:44,660
Really? Why not? The dealer wanted too
much money.
123
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:46,280
Wouldn't bargain, huh?
124
00:09:47,790 --> 00:09:50,130
And I got the feeling he would have if I
had been a guy.
125
00:09:51,130 --> 00:09:52,990
Ah, a male showing his pig, huh?
126
00:09:54,070 --> 00:09:55,070
Maybe.
127
00:09:55,250 --> 00:09:59,590
He thought I'd like a certain car
because it was a pretty color. And he
128
00:09:59,590 --> 00:10:00,590
I couldn't drive a stick.
129
00:10:01,130 --> 00:10:02,890
Oh, honey, don't worry. You'll find
another car.
130
00:10:03,110 --> 00:10:04,990
I don't want another car. I want that
car.
131
00:10:05,250 --> 00:10:06,690
And I want it at a fair price.
132
00:10:08,030 --> 00:10:09,030
So what are you going to do?
133
00:10:09,770 --> 00:10:10,770
I don't know.
134
00:10:11,010 --> 00:10:13,150
But I'm not going to give up until I
come up with something.
135
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:10,280
That's Larry, bro.
136
00:11:13,780 --> 00:11:19,060
Well, I... You look so... Well, I mean
you...
137
00:11:19,060 --> 00:11:22,440
What happened to your bazooms?
138
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,120
My what?
139
00:11:28,940 --> 00:11:33,780
Snookums. If you're having some sort of
identity crisis, well, let's talk about
140
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:37,540
it. You know, there are clinics for
this, although the operation is very
141
00:11:37,540 --> 00:11:38,540
painful.
142
00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:40,320
Just ask my Uncle Beverly.
143
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,960
Steve, I'm dressed like this so I could
buy a car.
144
00:11:48,740 --> 00:11:50,160
Why don't you just write a check?
145
00:11:51,660 --> 00:11:53,460
Because the check would be too big.
146
00:11:53,740 --> 00:11:58,400
See, the car dealer is sexist, and I
figure Larry Winslow can get a better
147
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,700
than Laura Winslow. Now, come on, let's
go.
148
00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:20,920
And I breathe.
149
00:13:25,230 --> 00:13:28,190
Do it to make sure the airline hasn't
lost the luggage.
150
00:13:37,090 --> 00:13:39,830
Ah, what else do I need to know?
151
00:13:40,370 --> 00:13:41,470
Well, let's see.
152
00:13:41,990 --> 00:13:47,430
When dinner together and a pretty girl
walks by, they greet her with words
153
00:14:32,970 --> 00:14:35,050
wind up the rubber band on that thing
and hit the road.
154
00:15:03,470 --> 00:15:05,150
Most folks call me Honest Bob.
155
00:15:06,190 --> 00:15:08,870
I'm Larry Wins... the clinker.
156
00:15:09,170 --> 00:15:10,330
Larry, what can I do for you?
157
00:15:10,550 --> 00:15:12,090
I got my eye on this baby.
158
00:15:12,670 --> 00:15:14,970
Well, you got your eye on quality.
159
00:15:15,350 --> 00:15:18,130
Chicks always go for a guy in a
convertible, right?
160
00:15:18,630 --> 00:15:20,090
Wins... the clinker?
161
00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:23,170
Tell me something I don't know.
162
00:15:26,790 --> 00:15:28,710
Easy. Easy there, pal.
163
00:15:29,350 --> 00:15:30,790
I just had liposuction.
164
00:15:36,330 --> 00:15:37,330
What's under the hood?
165
00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:38,670
Engine.
166
00:15:39,690 --> 00:15:44,490
Well, this is an 81, so it ought to be a
four -cylinder, 2 ,000cc twin cam with
167
00:15:44,490 --> 00:15:46,410
aluminum head and Bosch fuel injection.
168
00:15:47,330 --> 00:15:48,330
Oh, that could be.
169
00:15:49,590 --> 00:15:51,750
Oh, hello. Hello, baby cakes.
170
00:15:54,930 --> 00:15:55,930
Yeah,
171
00:16:03,290 --> 00:16:05,650
I think I'm special to her.
172
00:16:09,070 --> 00:16:10,070
Hey, Bob, back to the car.
173
00:16:10,250 --> 00:16:11,250
Huh? Oh.
174
00:16:11,610 --> 00:16:12,609
Let's talk price.
175
00:16:12,610 --> 00:16:13,569
Why talk?
176
00:16:13,570 --> 00:16:14,630
Well, you're gonna look right at it.
177
00:16:15,690 --> 00:16:16,690
See ya.
178
00:16:16,910 --> 00:16:19,010
Whoa, hey, hey, whoa, wait. Wait a
minute.
179
00:16:19,450 --> 00:16:23,050
Price isn't written in stone. It's
written in shoe polish. Come on.
180
00:16:23,590 --> 00:16:24,590
Make me an offer.
181
00:16:25,770 --> 00:16:26,770
$1 ,600.
182
00:16:27,590 --> 00:16:28,590
How much?
183
00:16:30,170 --> 00:16:31,170
$1 ,600.
184
00:16:31,910 --> 00:16:34,950
Have you, uh, have you been here before?
185
00:16:35,590 --> 00:16:36,730
Uh, not really. Why?
186
00:16:37,250 --> 00:16:38,249
You look familiar.
187
00:16:38,250 --> 00:16:39,380
Uh, no, I don't. Yes, you do.
188
00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:41,920
You have a sister?
189
00:16:42,580 --> 00:16:46,760
Uh, no, I'm an only child. The last of
the Winsor Goobers.
190
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:52,020
Uh -huh. I thought you said that your
name was Winsor Crinker.
191
00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:56,480
Hi!
192
00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:00,080
All right.
193
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:04,000
What's going on? What is the meaning of
this clever charade?
194
00:17:11,210 --> 00:17:13,270
I thought I could get a better deal from
you if I was a guy.
195
00:17:13,829 --> 00:17:14,829
What made you think that?
196
00:17:15,630 --> 00:17:17,530
Because I thought you'd give a better
deal to a guy.
197
00:17:18,190 --> 00:17:19,910
Well, so what are you saying?
198
00:17:20,190 --> 00:17:22,349
That I'm sexist to babes?
199
00:17:23,930 --> 00:17:26,530
No way, little lady. I'm a businessman.
200
00:17:26,950 --> 00:17:29,990
I don't care if your wallet comes out of
a pair of pants or a purse as long as
201
00:17:29,990 --> 00:17:30,990
there's money in it.
202
00:17:32,030 --> 00:17:36,390
But yesterday you lowered your price for
that guy, but when you got to me,
203
00:17:36,550 --> 00:17:37,930
you...
204
00:17:39,630 --> 00:17:41,250
You're trying to sell me a yuko.
205
00:17:44,110 --> 00:17:45,610
Come on.
206
00:17:46,230 --> 00:17:47,230
Stop it.
207
00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:53,090
I can't help it. It's just that I think
it's wrong for you to take advantage of
208
00:17:53,090 --> 00:17:55,890
me just because I'm a girl.
209
00:18:01,290 --> 00:18:02,850
All right, all right, all right.
210
00:18:03,410 --> 00:18:04,970
How much did I say yesterday?
211
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:30,320
but that's it!
212
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:31,360
Deal.
213
00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:49,300
Is everything
214
00:18:49,300 --> 00:18:53,360
okay? Oh, fine. You go ahead. I'm gonna
drive this baby home.
215
00:19:16,750 --> 00:19:21,150
off and found out i was a girl i was
sure i'd be walking home and then you
216
00:19:21,150 --> 00:19:26,090
started crying and he actually knocked
off 300 off the car yeah i used his own
217
00:19:26,090 --> 00:19:31,490
sexist attitudes against him beat him at
his own game yes
218
00:19:31,490 --> 00:19:36,670
harriet i'm home wow watch this
219
00:19:36,670 --> 00:19:42,930
harriet there's nothing on the stove
what oh
220
00:19:42,930 --> 00:19:44,510
company yeah yeah
221
00:19:48,010 --> 00:19:49,130
He's got a date with Laura.
222
00:19:50,150 --> 00:19:51,150
Oh, really?
223
00:19:53,770 --> 00:19:54,810
Yeah, that's right.
224
00:19:58,490 --> 00:20:00,950
Your daughter is so fly.
225
00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:05,170
So just what are your plans tonight?
226
00:20:05,650 --> 00:20:10,930
Well, I thought we'd party hardy, toss
back a few brewskis. Then since my
227
00:20:10,930 --> 00:20:13,910
parents are out of town, we go back to
my place.
228
00:20:24,620 --> 00:20:26,400
I have her back by cock -a -doodle -doo
time.
229
00:20:28,620 --> 00:20:32,040
Well, you're gonna need a little extra
money.
230
00:20:34,060 --> 00:20:37,840
And, uh, keep Laura till Monday. She
eats like a horse.
231
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,620
Oh, and you're gonna need my car.
232
00:20:42,900 --> 00:20:44,520
It has a fold -down back seat.
233
00:20:47,620 --> 00:20:48,620
Daddy.
234
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:50,040
Gotcha.
235
00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:37,720
and is distributed by Warner Brothers
Domestic Television Distribution.
17638
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