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1
00:00:01,870 --> 00:00:02,870
What do you think of this skirt?
2
00:00:03,010 --> 00:00:04,010
It's fine.
3
00:00:04,030 --> 00:00:06,810
Why? I don't know. She says it's too
short.
4
00:00:09,090 --> 00:00:10,830
Ooh, girl.
5
00:00:20,050 --> 00:00:21,050
It's perfect.
6
00:00:24,210 --> 00:00:25,450
Hey, buster.
7
00:00:25,750 --> 00:00:27,970
Keep alerting and you'll be hurting.
8
00:00:28,450 --> 00:00:29,450
Yeah, right.
9
00:00:29,870 --> 00:00:30,870
What?
10
00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:45,020
too short
11
00:00:45,020 --> 00:00:59,860
it's
12
00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:06,260
a rare condition this day and age to
read any good news on the newspaper page
13
00:01:06,260 --> 00:01:12,540
and love and tradition of the grand
design some people say it's even harder
14
00:01:12,540 --> 00:01:13,540
find
15
00:01:21,930 --> 00:01:24,710
It's all I see is a tower of...
16
00:02:25,640 --> 00:02:27,160
was having delusions of adequacy.
17
00:02:31,180 --> 00:02:35,320
Steve, you are the clumsiest person in
the world.
18
00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:56,720
cheerleader, aren't you?
19
00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:01,080
Help me out here, Steve.
20
00:03:02,020 --> 00:03:03,640
Why are you the way you are?
21
00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:08,460
Well, for the same reason you're
gorgeous and Eddie is loaded with
22
00:03:08,740 --> 00:03:13,780
V -like strands of recombinant DNA
called genes arranged along the 23 pairs
23
00:03:13,780 --> 00:03:14,780
human chromosomes.
24
00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:16,120
Right.
25
00:03:16,980 --> 00:03:18,680
But what happened to yours?
26
00:03:21,820 --> 00:03:25,260
Well, it might have something to do with
the fact that...
27
00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:29,040
I was conceived, a road flare went off
in my father's pocket.
28
00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:37,460
Steve, is there anything you can do to
change yourself?
29
00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:39,600
Well, why?
30
00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:40,720
I like myself.
31
00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:42,560
I'm comfortable with me.
32
00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:45,500
Well, that makes one of us.
33
00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:49,780
Because I'm not comfortable with you.
I've got three flavors of milkshake
34
00:03:49,780 --> 00:03:50,860
dripping down my leg.
35
00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:55,000
Steve, it would be nice if you tried to
change.
36
00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:57,860
And it would be even nicer if you did it
soon.
37
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,290
for me? Nope. Just bills.
38
00:04:34,810 --> 00:04:37,230
Well, I'm glad to hear the bills make
you happy.
39
00:04:37,770 --> 00:04:40,170
Why? Because I'm going shopping at the
mall.
40
00:04:41,690 --> 00:04:44,450
By the time I'm done, you'll be
thrilled.
41
00:04:46,110 --> 00:04:47,110
Good one, Harriet.
42
00:04:47,350 --> 00:04:48,570
Hey, you want some company?
43
00:04:48,790 --> 00:04:49,790
Wait a minute.
44
00:04:49,810 --> 00:04:52,110
You're volunteering to go shopping with
me? Sure.
45
00:04:52,370 --> 00:04:54,170
And I'll even treat you to lunch.
46
00:04:55,190 --> 00:04:58,090
Okay, that's it. Who are you and what
have you done with my husband?
47
00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:01,360
It's me, your little binky -poo.
48
00:05:02,900 --> 00:05:06,020
And why is my little binky -poo in such
a good mood?
49
00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:11,020
Well, because it's been one whole week
since I've seen Steve Urkel. For seven
50
00:05:11,020 --> 00:05:13,740
whole days, I haven't heard, Did I do
that?
51
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:17,079
Oh, look.
52
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:18,220
I'm being audited.
53
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,000
Hey,
54
00:05:23,780 --> 00:05:24,780
guys. Hi.
55
00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:28,000
Can Eddie and I have a party here next
Saturday night?
56
00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:29,700
Sure. if it's just the two of you.
57
00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:33,740
Oh, Laura, you and Eddie can go ahead
and have your party.
58
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,020
Excuse me?
59
00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:39,120
Yeah. Go ahead and party down.
60
00:05:44,820 --> 00:05:47,000
Okay, who are you and what have you done
with my daddy?
61
00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:50,080
It's me.
62
00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:52,300
I'm just footloose and Urkel free.
63
00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:54,040
Come on, Harriet.
64
00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:56,900
Let's go out to the bank and get you
some extra money so you... I ain't...
65
00:06:02,700 --> 00:06:03,699
the bank book.
66
00:06:03,700 --> 00:06:06,600
Spin, spin, spin, spin, spin. That's all
we do around here.
67
00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:10,720
And look, there's going to be some
strict rules for that party of yours.
68
00:06:11,340 --> 00:06:13,180
Come on, sunshine, let's go. Good Lord.
69
00:06:14,420 --> 00:06:19,060
Malls, park in hell, baby strollers,
feed her, life stinks.
70
00:06:21,620 --> 00:06:23,560
Who put the starch in his tutu?
71
00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:27,240
What do you want, Steve?
72
00:06:27,540 --> 00:06:30,860
Well, I wouldn't thumb my nose at the
Nobel Prize, monkey doodle.
73
00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:33,840
What are you talking about?
74
00:06:34,020 --> 00:06:35,860
And don't ever call me monkey doodle.
75
00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:41,920
Clarence, a week ago, I locked myself
into my basement and embarked on a
76
00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:45,140
of experiments that will revolutionize
the science of genetics.
77
00:06:45,860 --> 00:06:47,160
Steve, what is that stuff?
78
00:06:47,500 --> 00:06:50,560
This chemical compound will make me
cool.
79
00:06:53,100 --> 00:06:56,580
Oh, well, you go on and drink that, and
then I'll show you my toothpaste that
80
00:06:56,580 --> 00:06:57,660
turns me into Janet Jackson.
81
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:09,320
It was hiding behind my jeans for hammer
toes and nasal drip.
82
00:07:10,660 --> 00:07:13,120
But still, I found it.
83
00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:17,660
So I took my cool jeans and I doubled
it.
84
00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:23,200
And I doubled it again and again until I
had a hundred trillion cool jeans.
85
00:07:23,900 --> 00:07:24,900
Steve,
86
00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:31,080
you're scaring me. Oh, sorry.
87
00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:35,020
Mama, this elixir will improve my
coordination.
88
00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:42,360
My posture, my vocal intonation, and I
might even sprout a chest hair or two.
89
00:07:49,180 --> 00:07:50,820
First, you better sprout a chest.
90
00:07:54,980 --> 00:07:56,520
Steve, is this stuff safe?
91
00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:57,719
Who knows?
92
00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:01,980
Steve. Tired of Steve Urkel, were you?
Wanted someone better, did you?
93
00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:06,640
Well for
94
00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:35,580
There is no Steve here.
95
00:09:36,700 --> 00:09:38,260
I'm Stefan, sweet thing.
96
00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:44,460
Stefan or Kells.
97
00:10:20,110 --> 00:10:21,110
ago the world's cool
98
00:11:56,490 --> 00:12:00,910
We have some serious honeys in here. Oh,
this party is the bomb.
99
00:12:09,750 --> 00:12:10,750
Baby,
100
00:12:13,450 --> 00:12:15,610
you are worth another trip.
101
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:27,120
Wait, say my name again.
102
00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:28,920
Stefan.
103
00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:33,960
There's nothing sweeter than the sound
of my name upon your lips.
104
00:12:36,140 --> 00:12:37,380
Hey, yo, Stefan.
105
00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:38,900
Yo, Eduardo, my man.
106
00:12:40,820 --> 00:12:43,300
Oh, I'm sorry. I don't know that
handshake.
107
00:12:45,300 --> 00:12:47,160
How could you? I just made it up.
108
00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:53,720
Harriet, that...
109
00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:55,920
That dress.
110
00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:59,300
If Carl knew what I was thinking right
now, he'd arrest me.
111
00:13:00,340 --> 00:13:01,340
B .G.
112
00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:05,820
B .G.? Well, big guy, of course.
113
00:13:08,540 --> 00:13:10,400
Hey, are you losing weight?
114
00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:26,800
Right.
115
00:13:27,100 --> 00:13:29,160
Are your parents happy with the new you?
116
00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:31,460
Oh, they love the new me.
117
00:13:31,700 --> 00:13:35,020
In fact, they finally introduced me to
my grandparents.
118
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:45,960
Stepfather, would you like to dance?
119
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:47,280
Oh, of course.
120
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,000
But later.
121
00:13:51,100 --> 00:13:53,520
I'd like to first dance with my lady
lover.
122
00:14:03,700 --> 00:14:08,300
It's nice to know that you remain
comfortable.
123
00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:13,000
Thank you for being
124
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:17,940
so cool.
125
00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:20,300
This is for the cool.
126
00:14:39,010 --> 00:14:41,810
Thank you.
127
00:15:39,050 --> 00:15:40,050
Hi, sweetheart.
128
00:15:40,930 --> 00:15:41,930
What's the matter?
129
00:15:42,750 --> 00:15:44,690
Joey Gonzalez got shot today.
130
00:15:45,370 --> 00:15:46,470
Oh, my God.
131
00:15:47,430 --> 00:15:49,850
Is he okay? Yeah, we think he's gonna
make it.
132
00:15:50,270 --> 00:15:51,270
Well, what happened?
133
00:15:51,730 --> 00:15:53,210
A routine traffic stop.
134
00:15:53,650 --> 00:15:57,650
Joey asked the driver for his license
and registration, and the guy just shot
135
00:15:57,650 --> 00:15:58,650
him.
136
00:15:59,430 --> 00:16:00,430
Unbelievable.
137
00:16:00,630 --> 00:16:02,470
Yep. Joey was lucky.
138
00:16:03,030 --> 00:16:06,570
The doctor said if it had been an inch
to the left, Joey would have been dead.
139
00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:09,180
Are you going to be all right?
140
00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:11,240
I guess.
141
00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:16,400
Now, come on, sweetheart. Tell me the
truth.
142
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:20,300
Do I look better at 131 pounds or 132?
143
00:16:22,620 --> 00:16:25,540
Stephon, I told you at dinner. I prefer
132.
144
00:16:26,220 --> 00:16:29,060
Really? Because I feel so bulky.
145
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:37,120
What's wrong?
146
00:16:37,770 --> 00:16:39,310
A policeman was wounded tonight.
147
00:16:40,070 --> 00:16:41,350
He's a friend of your father's.
148
00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:43,290
Oh, Daddy, I'm sorry.
149
00:16:44,010 --> 00:16:45,510
Carl, would you like to go over to the
hospital?
150
00:16:46,430 --> 00:16:47,409
Yeah, I would.
151
00:16:47,410 --> 00:16:48,590
Some of the guys will be there.
152
00:16:52,890 --> 00:16:55,230
Mom, call me if there's anything I can
do.
153
00:17:01,210 --> 00:17:02,210
Well,
154
00:17:02,970 --> 00:17:06,470
the storm clouds are gone. Care to
cuddle up with a little ray of sunshine?
155
00:17:08,980 --> 00:17:11,599
Don't you care at all about what
happened to my dad's friend?
156
00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:13,260
Don't you have any feelings?
157
00:17:13,740 --> 00:17:14,980
Well, of course I do.
158
00:17:15,900 --> 00:17:20,280
But when I find myself burdened by the
troubles of the world, I try to cheer
159
00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:23,220
myself up by thinking about all the
wonderful clothes I own.
160
00:17:25,819 --> 00:17:27,240
Stefan, we have to talk.
161
00:17:27,619 --> 00:17:28,620
Oh?
162
00:17:29,700 --> 00:17:34,380
I never thought I'd say this in a
million years, but... But what?
163
00:17:35,060 --> 00:17:36,360
I miss Steve Urkel.
164
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:37,800
Why?
165
00:17:37,980 --> 00:17:40,920
Because he had feelings. He cared about
people.
166
00:17:41,180 --> 00:17:42,240
Face it, Stefan.
167
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,760
Numero uno on your list is you.
168
00:17:45,780 --> 00:17:47,020
Can you blame me?
169
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:52,900
Yes. Look at me.
170
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:54,200
I'm incredible.
171
00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:58,180
Good -looking, charming, suave, and
cool.
172
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:02,860
That's it. I want Steve back.
173
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,080
Steve was an annoying, clumsy nerd.
174
00:18:07,300 --> 00:18:09,440
A man would have to be crazy to go back
to that.
175
00:18:11,740 --> 00:18:12,740
Oh.
176
00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:16,120
Or in love.
177
00:18:17,540 --> 00:18:18,540
What do you mean?
178
00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:23,800
This is the antidote to the cool elixir.
179
00:18:24,380 --> 00:18:27,040
I call it the elixir fixer.
180
00:18:30,740 --> 00:18:32,180
Will that make you Steve again?
181
00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:33,680
Well, the village idiot.
182
00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:36,220
It's never been tested.
183
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:38,580
Wait, don't do it if it's dangerous.
184
00:18:39,980 --> 00:18:43,280
Laura, I've been Stephon Urkel for a
week.
185
00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:46,620
And I've got all the things I've always
wanted.
186
00:18:47,540 --> 00:18:49,400
Friends, fame, and popularity.
187
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:54,860
But if I don't have you, I have nothing.
188
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,000
I forgive you.
189
00:20:46,380 --> 00:20:53,260
Tonight at 8, after defeating the Zendi,
Archer and his crew are
190
00:20:53,260 --> 00:20:57,900
thrown back into the 1940s where the
Nazis have invaded the United States
191
00:20:57,900 --> 00:21:00,460
the help of an alien race on Star Trek
Enterprise.
192
00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:04,940
Then at 9, it's a special encore of
America's Next Top Model.
193
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:09,000
Stay tuned for Family Matters coming up
next on UPN 27.
194
00:21:13,460 --> 00:21:20,320
Family Matters is a Miller -Boyette
production in
195
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:23,460
association with Warner Brothers
Television and is distributed by Warner
196
00:21:23,460 --> 00:21:25,040
Brothers Domestic Television
Distribution.
14421
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