Original subtitles

Oh, black.

answered here. Well, you did. Why?

Because this school has something my other school doesn't. Well, what's that?

You, my Adonis and suspenders.

Well, look,

I know we've gone out a few times, but don't you think?

protecting with mine from hungry eyes and sticky fingers.

Come down, class.

Take your seats.

Class, we have a new student.

Myra Monkhouse.

calls himself a teacher all right good one

grab a seat miss monkhouse oh uh gee i'd really like to sit next to

steve urkel is there anyone near him willing to give up their super

It's a rare condition this day and age to read any good news on the newspaper

page. And love and tradition of the grand design, some people say it's even

harder to find.

Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.

Because all I see is a tower of...

Paul, the stupid, I can't believe the nerve of that jerk.

Harry, is something bothering you? You seem a little grumpy. Grumpy? I'm not

grumpy.

Okay, fine.

But from over here, it sounds a little like grumpy.

I have a problem at the Chronicle. They want me to cut my staff by two people.

Why?

Budget cutback.

The order came down from the director of operations, Fred Rollins.

The man has a time clock for a heart.

Fred Rollins.

Have I met him?

Yeah. Last year at the Christmas party.

Remember you volunteered to be Santa?

Fred was the one that said he didn't have time to let out the suit.

Oh, yeah.

He is a jerk.

Carl, I don't know who to let go.

Everyone on my staff has a family.

Well, maybe you should stand up to him.

Tell Fred that when times are tough, the last thing you should cut is security.

Yeah.

pretty boy that when people work hard, you don't pay them back by firing them.

That's right.

I'm not firing anyone.

Good for you, honey.

Now, I'm sorry you have to go through this.

Thank you. Come on. Yeah.

So, feel like making dinner now?

Well, let's go out.

Waldo? What's up?

Why weren't you here yesterday?

You mean this class is every day?

Yes.

I wish people would make up their minds. I waited here all summer.

Okay, your assignment for today was to memorize a humorous poem.

Who would like to recite theirs first?

Go ahead, don't be shy.

Anyone? Anyone at all?

Okay, Mr.

Urkel.

I'll need a short warmup.

Oh, just let me cut to the chase.

He's, ooh, hurt me bad sexy.

Steve is the wind in my sail, the polish on my nails.

He makes me glad to be alive.

He shifts my heart into overdrive.

Wow. I'm not here much, but I'd give her an A.

What's the matter, you?

I had my showdown at work today.

Oh, Fred Rollins?

He wanted to know which employees I decided to let go.

I told him no one.

Great. What did he say?

He said you're fired.

What?

I lost my job, Carl.

23 years.

And they let me go.

Oh, honey. Oh, God.

I bet that's Maxine. She got one of those trashy lingerie catalogs in the

and she thinks one of the models is our homeroom teacher.

Myra!

Good day, Laura.

Oh, it's not very often I get to say this, but Steve's not here.

Well, actually, I'm here to see you.

Oh?

I realize that we've had our problems in the past, but I was hoping that we

could, well... Pinky truth?

So long darkness led in the light, I won't fuss and I won't fight.

Now, would you like to say it back to me?

Not in this lifetime.

But please, come on in.

Hello, Edward.

Hi, Myra. Want an apple? Oh, I couldn't. I just stuffed myself with mung bean.

Steve says it's a natural colon broom.

He wouldn't know.

Bye. No, no, no, wait.

I need your advice, too. After all, you are Steve's best friend.

I'm his only friend.

So what's the problem, Myra?

Well, Stephen and I have had three glorious nights on the town.

Unfortunately, he's always behaved like the perfect gentleman.

Unfortunately?

luscious lips pressed hotly against mine.

Myra? Yes?

How have you been drinking?

Just a little aloe vera juice to help move along the mung bean.

Wait a minute.

I gotta sit down.

You actually want Steve to kiss you?

Girl, I'm hurting for it.

Well, I can see how kissing Steve and Payne do go hand in hand.

Well, Myra, maybe you just need to turn him on a little bit.

Yeah, where do you go on your dates with Steve?

The usual places.

Movies, restaurants, the Polka Hall of Fame.

Okay, well, maybe that's your problem. Those are all public places.

extremely shy person. Yeah. I mean, he won't even get undressed in front of his

dog.

He's probably nervous about showing affection in public.

Of course.

Of course.

I need to get my little flamingo legs alone.

I think that's the mung bean talking.

Thanks, guys. I know exactly what to do now.

for an intimate rendezvous, and as sure as God makes little green apples, my

lips will be doing push -ups against his.

That is one sick puppy.

Hi, honey.

Hi. What you doing?

Putting together a job resume.

Sweetheart.

You know, I feel really bad.

I mean, you wouldn't have gotten fired if you hadn't listened to my advice.

Carl, I'm glad I took your advice.

Really? What have we always told our kids over and over?

Don't slam the toilet seat?

No.

We've told them to always stand up for what they believe in.

I stuck to my principles, and I feel good about it.

You know something, Mrs. Winslow?

I am proud of you.

You are a strong and independent lady, and I am very lucky to have you.

Thank you, Carl.

Would you mind setting up those chairs?

Oh, certainly, my dainty daffodil.

Let's just forget the chairs.

Okay.

Lovely evening, isn't it? Oh, yes, yes.

This ice cream is making me a little cold.

Do you think there's something you can do about that?

Oh, sure. Give me an hour, flippin' damn.

Like the commercial says, just do it.

and kissing another make me a selfish, shallow, pleasure -seeking cad?

Only if you were trying to take advantage of me.

But my eyes are wide open, and they'll stay wide open until the moment you kiss

me, if you ever do.

Then close them peepers, baby.

these lips have lost their engine and they're coming in for a landing.

Family Matters is a Miller -Boyette production in association with Warner

Brothers Television and is distributed by Warner Brothers Domestic Television

Distribution.