Original subtitles

Too bad.

What's for breakfast?

I was so excited about the cheerleading competition that I couldn't get to

sleep. And then when I finally did, I overslept.

I ain't coming back. Don't worry, I'll save you.

Oh, my God, Eddie.

It's a rare condition, this day and age, to read any good news on the newspaper

page. And love and tradition of the grand design, some people say, is even

harder to find.

Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.

Cause all I see is a tower of dreams, real love bursting out of every scene.

I'll get it later.

Lara, why did you scream?

Well, I haven't heard such a cry of horror since... I showed you that

me and Speedos.

Oh, please, I haven't had my coffee yet.

I don't believe this. My cheer squad makes the Midwest cheerleading...

this work without being docked.

Eddie.

I'm sorry, sis.

The E -man's baby mobile is in the shop.

Steve. Yes?

Will you drive me to Cincinnati?

My pleasure, baby cakes.

I'll go get dressed, and you go do something with that head.

until we get to Cincinnati, okay? All right.

I couldn't repair Harriet.

Well, you said I couldn't do the job.

But I fixed the window, Harriet. I fixed the window. Me, me, me, me, me.

Now, what do you have to say to that?

I'm proud of you, Carl. You did a good job.

Oh, Mother Winslow, that pen is beautiful, isn't it? Yes.

Fletcher gave it to me.

Oh. Well, what's the occasion?

No occasion.

Just an I love you present.

A what?

I want her to know I care.

Well, why didn't you just tell her? You could have saved the bundle.

Somebody else want to talk?

tells me how he feels every day.

He leaves love notes.

He left it in there?

No.

I'm keeping it close to my heart.

Thy kiss, dear maid, thy lip has left, shall never part from mine till happier

hours restore the gift untainted back to thine.

Huh? That's Lord Byron, Carl.

Oh, I knew that. I have all his albums.

would be risky.

something I could burn afterwards.

Things couldn't possibly get any worse.

Fletch is going to give me a full body massage.

I don't want to hear this.

Let's go, pumpkin.

After you, sweet stuff.

How about a piggyback ride?

No, you're too heavy.

Good night.

Do you believe those two? Yeah. I couldn't stomach another minute.

It's embarrassing.

I think it's sweet.

They're in love and they're not afraid to show it.

Show it?

They bludgeon people with it.

your mother, you could learn from them.

And what's that supposed to mean?

It means it would be nice to know how you feel about me.

Oh, come on, Harriet.

I tell you I love you all the time.

Yes, you do.

But only when we're alone.

I'd appreciate it if you'd say it in front of people.

Okay.

and I guess you're just going to have to sleep on the floor.

Oh, no can do.

I'm allergic to cheap shag. Ten minutes on this orange atrocity and I'd begin to

choke to death.

Well, we wouldn't want that.

It'll keep me awake.

Very funny.

Look, you've got this big bed. Why can't we just share?

Does shag carpet also make you crazy?

like Ms. Rip Van Wins.

Sorry, Steve. Will you forgive me?

Well, okay.

Good night, Steve.

Wait a minute. Where are you going?

You take the bed. I'll sleep in the tub.

Oh, hold it, Laura.

This is silly.

Now, let's be adults about this.

We have a double bed and two people.

You sleep under the covers, and I'll sleep on top of the covers. And never

twain shall meet.

Alright, it's a deal.

Not only do I love you, but I respect you.

I would never try to make a move on you.

Oh, come on, Steve. It never even entered your mind.

Absolutely not. Why, if I had one single impure thought, may God strike me dead.

Well, maybe once.

See, I'm still so excited.

Oh, me too. After all, your team is the Midwest cheerleading champion.

I couldn't have done it without you, Steve.

Thank you so much.

Oh, no thanks are necessary.

Oh!

It's Morris Palansky and his Polish All -Stars. Oh, I gotta stop.

Family Matters is a Miller -Boyette production in association with Warner

Brothers Television.

Sometimes you just gotta poke us.

And it's distributed by Warner Brothers Domestic Television Distribution.