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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,160
It's the coldest time of the year. Did
you pack enough sweaters?
2
00:00:02,400 --> 00:00:04,380
Three. Well, what about socks?
3
00:00:05,020 --> 00:00:06,020
I'm wearing socks.
4
00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:09,960
Look, you guys, stop worrying. I'll be
fine.
5
00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:14,040
Laura, this is the first time you've
gone on a trip without us. Yeah.
6
00:00:18,140 --> 00:00:20,620
I mean, yeah.
7
00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:25,760
It's only for three days, and we'll be
shopping around the whole time.
8
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:29,000
Well, why couldn't they hold the Midwest
Cheerleading Championships here in
9
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,260
Chicago? Why go all the way to Bemidji?
10
00:00:31,580 --> 00:00:35,100
Well, Bemidji's a famous cheer town.
They invented the phrase, sis -boom
11
00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:38,300
Well, that's helpful. We don't want you
to miss your flight.
12
00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:40,960
Hey, Laura, wait.
13
00:00:41,180 --> 00:00:42,920
You almost forgot your pom -poms.
14
00:00:44,180 --> 00:00:46,260
Oh, I'd be lost without those.
15
00:00:46,740 --> 00:00:48,300
How can I ever thank you, Richie?
16
00:00:48,620 --> 00:00:50,240
A box should cover it.
17
00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:54,300
You know, I'm surprised Steve didn't
come by and embarrass you with one of
18
00:00:54,300 --> 00:00:57,580
melodramatic goodbyes. I warned him that
if he did...
19
00:00:57,840 --> 00:00:59,140
I'd stipple his lips together.
20
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:08,760
Hi, sweetums.
21
00:01:09,540 --> 00:01:11,620
Oh, I'll pack these for you.
22
00:01:22,620 --> 00:01:26,160
It's a rare condition this day and age.
23
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:29,620
To read any good news on the newspaper
page.
24
00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:32,740
And love and tradition of the grand
design.
25
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:36,380
Some people say it's even harder to
find.
26
00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:43,400
Well, then there must be some magic clue
inside these gentle walls.
27
00:01:44,740 --> 00:01:48,320
Because all I see is a tower of dreams.
28
00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:51,220
Real love bursting out of everything.
29
00:02:15,950 --> 00:02:17,330
Hey. Hey, Dad.
30
00:02:17,710 --> 00:02:19,390
Just the man I wanted to see.
31
00:02:19,590 --> 00:02:20,590
Grab a seat, son.
32
00:02:21,230 --> 00:02:22,189
Okay, sure.
33
00:02:22,190 --> 00:02:23,190
What's up?
34
00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:26,970
I'm going to give you a haircut.
35
00:02:27,410 --> 00:02:28,410
What?
36
00:02:28,770 --> 00:02:29,770
How come?
37
00:02:29,970 --> 00:02:31,110
It'll save me money.
38
00:02:33,310 --> 00:02:34,310
No way.
39
00:02:34,710 --> 00:02:39,570
No, no, no, no, no. I know that I may
botch the first three or four haircuts.
40
00:02:40,390 --> 00:02:44,690
But, hey, I'll learn. And over the
years, think of the savings.
41
00:02:51,710 --> 00:02:53,710
It's very important to Eddie that he
look good.
42
00:02:54,050 --> 00:02:55,370
You're both overreacting.
43
00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:57,730
Now, come on, son. Let me take a whack
at that head.
44
00:02:57,990 --> 00:03:00,630
I'll even shave you one of those designs
you young people like.
45
00:03:01,010 --> 00:03:02,610
Something cool, like a happy face.
46
00:03:04,930 --> 00:03:08,090
Mom, Carl, he doesn't have time for
Hacker now.
47
00:03:08,570 --> 00:03:13,270
He doesn't? No. He has to clean his room
and wash the car and take out the
48
00:03:13,270 --> 00:03:14,870
trash. Right, Eddie? Oh, right.
49
00:03:15,130 --> 00:03:17,170
Right. I got to go do those things right
now. Bye.
50
00:03:19,910 --> 00:03:20,910
Now, you see?
51
00:03:21,420 --> 00:03:23,120
I told you I'd get him to do his chores.
52
00:03:30,500 --> 00:03:31,900
Listen to this.
53
00:03:32,180 --> 00:03:36,260
Janet and I wanted to do something
really exciting. Something daring.
54
00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:40,240
So we got fake IDs and went to Club
Buff.
55
00:03:41,140 --> 00:03:43,500
The male strip club. Yes, girl.
56
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,580
The dancers there are drop -dead
gorgeous.
57
00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:51,460
The kind with their clothes.
58
00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:52,720
Come on.
59
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:54,400
Look,
60
00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:58,560
I'm going again this weekend. You guys
have got to come with me. Hey, count me
61
00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:02,260
in. Great, I'll get the IDs for you.
It's just 50 bucks and a recent picture.
62
00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:04,520
$50 is a lot of money.
63
00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:09,320
Maxine, we're talking near -naked hook.
64
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:11,780
I'll have the cash tomorrow.
65
00:04:12,980 --> 00:04:14,080
So how about you, Laura?
66
00:04:15,460 --> 00:04:16,460
I don't know.
67
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:22,490
Hello. I forgot who I was talking to.
Miss Laura, goody two -shoes, Winslow.
68
00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:25,830
Now, wait a minute. I am not a goody two
-shoes. Right, Max?
69
00:04:29,390 --> 00:04:31,270
Yo, Max, jump in here any time.
70
00:04:32,330 --> 00:04:37,230
Well, the kids at school do think you're
kind of squeaky clean.
71
00:04:38,130 --> 00:04:39,630
Well, does everybody think that?
72
00:04:40,350 --> 00:04:44,290
No, not everybody. There is one guy who
thinks you're wild and crazy.
73
00:04:44,630 --> 00:04:45,630
Who?
74
00:04:45,870 --> 00:04:46,870
Steve Urkel.
75
00:04:48,470 --> 00:04:49,730
I have the money tomorrow.
76
00:04:54,010 --> 00:04:55,010
Carl. Hmm?
77
00:04:55,110 --> 00:04:57,090
Isn't it strange how different our
children are?
78
00:04:57,350 --> 00:04:58,350
What do you mean, sweetheart?
79
00:04:58,770 --> 00:05:02,610
Well, with Eddie and Judy, we have to
beg, threaten, and trick them into doing
80
00:05:02,610 --> 00:05:03,610
their chores.
81
00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:04,930
Yeah, but not Laura.
82
00:05:05,570 --> 00:05:08,610
Laura always does exactly what she's
supposed to.
83
00:05:09,670 --> 00:05:11,190
You know, we're really lucky, Carl.
84
00:05:11,670 --> 00:05:15,070
These days, it's tough to be a good kid.
There's a lot of temptation out there.
85
00:05:15,370 --> 00:05:16,370
A lot of peer pressure.
86
00:05:16,570 --> 00:05:17,630
You know, honey, you're right.
87
00:05:18,350 --> 00:05:19,650
We should reward Laura.
88
00:05:20,270 --> 00:05:21,610
Carl, that's a good idea.
89
00:05:21,930 --> 00:05:22,930
I'll tell you what.
90
00:05:23,070 --> 00:05:25,070
Tonight, we'll give her first crack at
the pork chop.
91
00:05:27,610 --> 00:05:29,290
Last week, the poor kid didn't get any.
92
00:05:34,630 --> 00:05:35,630
All right.
93
00:05:36,150 --> 00:05:37,150
Let's kick it.
94
00:05:37,570 --> 00:05:39,350
Babes, beware. Two dudes on the...
95
00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:11,470
Well, what is it?
96
00:06:12,010 --> 00:06:14,890
It's a combination nose hair trimmer and
flashlight.
97
00:06:16,530 --> 00:06:19,270
I mean, let's be honest, there's a lot
out there we'd like to see.
98
00:06:20,530 --> 00:06:25,790
Now, remember, Waldo, if we find two
girls together, I get the ugly one.
99
00:06:27,090 --> 00:06:29,050
Hey, how come you always get first pick?
100
00:08:56,910 --> 00:08:57,910
Be fine, dear.
101
00:08:59,590 --> 00:09:02,810
Sorry I had to grill you about your ID.
You know, you don't look 28.
102
00:09:03,090 --> 00:09:05,170
Oh, I get that all the time.
103
00:09:06,190 --> 00:09:07,190
Here you go, miss.
104
00:09:07,490 --> 00:09:09,610
Oh, it's Mrs. I'm a divorcee.
105
00:09:10,170 --> 00:09:11,850
Caught my husband with a babysitter.
106
00:09:32,430 --> 00:09:33,430
with muscles.
107
00:09:35,130 --> 00:09:36,130
I mean, ice.
108
00:09:40,190 --> 00:09:41,750
Laura, get a grip.
109
00:09:42,030 --> 00:09:44,570
Yeah, if you're like that with the
waiter, how are you going to handle the
110
00:09:44,570 --> 00:09:47,050
dancer? I'm not. I'm going home.
111
00:09:47,290 --> 00:09:49,070
What? We just got here.
112
00:09:49,530 --> 00:09:53,070
Max, I am not good at this. I'm too
uptight to enjoy myself.
113
00:09:53,750 --> 00:09:57,290
Just be cool. Yeah, don't worry. Nothing
bad's going to happen.
114
00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:07,760
Steve, what are you doing here?
115
00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:09,220
Having a pop, huh?
116
00:11:10,260 --> 00:11:11,260
Where you been?
117
00:11:11,940 --> 00:11:14,200
We went to Bubba's Barbecue, if you must
know.
118
00:11:14,580 --> 00:11:15,900
It was all -you -could -eat night.
119
00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:17,300
Ah.
120
00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:20,860
I'll bet poor Bubba broke into tears
when he saw you.
121
00:11:42,730 --> 00:11:43,730
barbecue breath.
122
00:11:44,830 --> 00:11:46,330
Where are the Winslow women folk?
123
00:11:46,830 --> 00:11:49,710
Well, Rachel talked my mother and
Harriet into going to a nightclub.
124
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:51,930
Oh, girls night out.
125
00:11:52,130 --> 00:11:53,130
How cute.
126
00:11:53,150 --> 00:11:54,150
What club was it?
127
00:11:54,370 --> 00:11:55,370
Club Buff.
128
00:11:59,130 --> 00:12:00,130
Club Buff?
129
00:12:01,690 --> 00:12:06,690
Well, it bothered me at first that
Harriet went, but then I realized it'll
130
00:12:06,690 --> 00:12:08,310
make her appreciate what she has at
home.
131
00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:15,530
Sure, those dancers have A few muscles
and a lot of hair, but do they have
132
00:12:15,530 --> 00:12:16,530
charisma?
133
00:12:17,610 --> 00:12:18,770
Huh? Steve?
134
00:12:21,090 --> 00:12:22,090
Steve?
135
00:12:25,890 --> 00:12:28,970
Well, I don't know what I did, but I'm
sure glad I did it.
136
00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:54,040
you can't
137
00:13:23,690 --> 00:13:25,070
Such a stick in the mud. Yeah.
138
00:13:25,650 --> 00:13:27,010
Get with it, sugar.
139
00:13:27,610 --> 00:13:29,490
This place is a blast.
140
00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:32,030
So you've been here before?
141
00:13:32,590 --> 00:13:33,930
Once at times.
142
00:13:34,210 --> 00:13:35,210
Hi, Estelle.
143
00:13:35,290 --> 00:13:37,230
Oh. Hello, Derek.
144
00:13:38,410 --> 00:13:39,410
How are the kids?
145
00:13:39,710 --> 00:13:40,710
Oh, just great.
146
00:13:40,890 --> 00:13:42,190
Would you like the usual table?
147
00:13:42,490 --> 00:13:43,610
That'll be just fine.
148
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:14,760
No man allowed.
149
00:14:15,100 --> 00:14:17,700
And you're close enough. Scram.
150
00:15:15,950 --> 00:15:18,710
I think she was a scientist.
151
00:15:19,790 --> 00:15:21,650
That's a good outfit. Just one question.
152
00:15:21,870 --> 00:15:23,970
Yeah? You're going to use that body?
153
00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:31,490
Well, hey, it's not how many muscles you
have. It's how you use the ones you've
154
00:15:31,490 --> 00:15:32,490
got.
155
00:15:34,830 --> 00:15:36,710
All right, get behind the curtain.
You're on next.
156
00:15:36,990 --> 00:15:40,550
Oh, but I need time to pump up. Well,
you often need plastic surgery, but we
157
00:15:40,550 --> 00:15:41,690
don't have time for that either.
158
00:15:43,980 --> 00:15:46,900
I normally do this about once a month,
but I'm doing it now.
159
00:17:33,580 --> 00:17:34,580
like Club Buff.
160
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:39,480
I suppose I could ask you the same
question.
161
00:17:41,900 --> 00:17:43,140
But I'm no fool.
162
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:48,820
I went because Rachel dragged me there.
163
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,780
She was dying to know what a place like
that was like.
164
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:55,140
She should have asked your grandmother.
She has a lifetime membership.
165
00:18:06,030 --> 00:18:07,650
idea and snuck into that place.
166
00:18:09,650 --> 00:18:10,650
I know.
167
00:18:11,550 --> 00:18:12,550
Why?
168
00:18:14,190 --> 00:18:15,910
It was the only way I could get in.
169
00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:18,430
You know what I mean.
170
00:18:19,130 --> 00:18:21,090
That kind of behavior is not like you.
171
00:18:22,050 --> 00:18:23,210
That was the point, Mom.
172
00:18:23,450 --> 00:18:25,730
I want him to be as little like me as
possible.
173
00:18:27,090 --> 00:18:28,090
Did I miss something?
174
00:18:29,430 --> 00:18:32,850
Mom, all the kids think I'm a Miss Goody
Two -Shoes.
175
00:18:34,570 --> 00:18:37,350
I wanted to prove to them that I could
do something wild and crazy.
176
00:18:40,490 --> 00:18:41,490
What?
177
00:18:43,610 --> 00:18:47,650
Well, I guess we're two peas from the
same pod.
178
00:18:49,130 --> 00:18:52,790
Laura, when I was your age, I was Little
Miss Perfect.
179
00:18:53,910 --> 00:18:57,330
Rachel was the daring one, and she
teased me constantly.
180
00:18:58,370 --> 00:19:01,950
And then one time I wanted to show her
that I could be daring, too.
181
00:19:02,870 --> 00:19:03,870
Well, what'd you do?
182
00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:07,080
Well, the Motown Review came to Chicago.
183
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:12,260
The Temptations, The Supremes, Little
Stevie Wonder, and my all -time
184
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:13,620
Smokey Robinson.
185
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:17,360
Anyway, I did school and went down to
their hotel.
186
00:19:17,620 --> 00:19:20,020
I waited four hours for them to come
out.
187
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:21,280
Well, did you get the autograph?
188
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:28,960
Better. When Smokey walked past me, I
grabbed him, bent him back, and
189
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,820
planted a kiss dead smack on his lip.
190
00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:36,500
What a kid.
191
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:38,940
Found out why they called him Smokey.
192
00:19:41,780 --> 00:19:43,280
Mom, that is so cool.
193
00:19:43,820 --> 00:19:45,100
I thought so, too.
194
00:19:45,460 --> 00:19:47,620
Until my mother turned on the late night
news.
195
00:19:47,940 --> 00:19:48,940
There I was.
196
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:51,940
Crazy fan, Smoochie Smokey.
197
00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:53,840
Ouch.
198
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:55,280
Were you grounded?
199
00:19:55,780 --> 00:19:57,240
Until disco came in.
200
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:03,900
Laura, you want to be cool.
201
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:07,720
Then keep resisting temptation.
202
00:20:08,740 --> 00:20:11,280
Keep doing what you know in your heart
is right.
203
00:20:12,140 --> 00:20:13,400
That one's really cool.
204
00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:16,700
You're right.
205
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,000
That's my girl.
206
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:26,400
You know what, Mom?
207
00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:27,720
What?
208
00:20:28,740 --> 00:20:32,700
Every time that I start to think that
nobody in the whole world understands
209
00:20:32,700 --> 00:20:33,700
I feel...
210
00:20:34,540 --> 00:20:36,860
It turns out that you know exactly how I
feel.
211
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:40,020
Why is that?
212
00:20:42,060 --> 00:20:44,180
Simple. I'm your mom.
213
00:20:45,900 --> 00:20:46,960
The best mom.
214
00:21:10,860 --> 00:21:15,120
Tonight at 6, a woman is accused of
inappropriate behavior during a
215
00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:20,160
visit with her child. On an all -new
Judge Judy. Then at 7, a woman claims
216
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:25,020
mother opened up a credit card in her
name and ran up the bill and ruined her
217
00:21:25,020 --> 00:21:27,020
credit. On an all -new Judge Joe Brown.
218
00:21:27,300 --> 00:21:30,800
Now it's Family Matters coming up next
on UPN 27.
219
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:34,120
Distributed by Warner Brothers Domestic
Television Distribution.
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