Original subtitles

What are you doing? Hi, Gwendolyn. I'm going down to the basement to hunt for

spiders. Why?

You wouldn't understand. It's a guy thing.

Gotta jam.

Wait. Did you know this Sunday's Valentine's Day?

So?

So I was wondering...

Would you like to be my valentine?

Why?

You wouldn't understand.

It's a girl thing.

wants me to think that she's gone.

an evening, kid.

Everybody likes you.

Then how come I can't get that delicious stew to notice me?

Well, don't you worry, Gwendolyn. I will get you and Richie together.

You see, I'm an expert when it comes to a lot more.

minx absolutely adores me.

But she disguises her undying love for me with what appears to be total

repulsion. It's a classic case of denial.

This day and age to read any good news on the newspaper page. And love and

tradition of the grand design.

Some people say it's even harder to find.

Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.

Because all I see is a tower of dreams.

What a miserable evening.

Calm down, Harriet.

You're overreacting. I am not. I don't ever want to go to that restaurant

Well, that's just as well, because you'll probably never be allowed to go

in that restaurant again.

What? Oh, nothing. Never mind.

Oh, no, no, no, no. Don't nothing. Never mind me, Carl. If you have something to

say, just spit it out.

were a little abrasive tonight.

Abrasive? I was not abrasive.

Well, yeah. Maybe abrasive is the wrong word.

Maybe a better word is loud.

Loud!

Like that.

And you got louder every time you made the maitre d' move us to another table.

Carl, our first table was right next to the entrance where everybody... waiting

to be seated. I do not like 30 people hanging over my shoulder saying, hey,

senora, can you eat a little faster?

I understand that.

So they picked up all our stuff and moved us.

Yeah, right next to the bathrooms.

Ordinarily, I'd like a table next to the water.

But not when it's swirling around a porcelain tank.

understand that. So they picked up all our stuff and moved us again.

And deliberately sat us next to a cigar smoker.

You know, you were rude to that guy, Harriet.

I simply put out a cigar.

In his soup.

Did I embarrass you, Carl? Is that the problem?

Yes, Harriet.

To be quite frank, I was embarrassed.

And so were all the other customers.

No, they were.

It's to another restaurant.

Carl, I am not a weak, wimpy woman that's afraid to speak her mind. When

unhappy about something, I say so. And it would be nice if you would support me

sometimes instead of hiding behind your napkin worrying about what other people

think. I do not care what other people think. You most certainly do. I do not.

And keep your voice down. The neighbors might hear.

You mean this table, or would you like to move to another table?

Hi, guys.

I'm going shopping. I'll see you later.

Oh, would you like me to come along?

Oh, no.

You know how I act in public.

I wouldn't want to embarrass you.

Oh, you're right.

You might get us banned.

the market, too.

Uh, do I sense some marital discord?

Might I suggest a romantic dinner for two at a cozy little restaurant?

I know a wonderful little place where they give you doggy bags in the shape of

swans.

I walk here, use my hanky.

You know how Chantel is.

First, she wiggled past him.

And then she said...

too much of each other.

under your nose.

What?

Well, sure, baby.

In a few hours, you just may say to yourself, hey, Steve is looking kind of

hunky.

Only a desperate loser would pursue a woman on the

rebound.

That lovely.

and get a chocolate surprise.

Surprise!

Sweets for my sweets.

At least taste the nutty one in the middle.

No pe -

Will you be my Valentine?

Steve, every year you ask me to be your Valentine.

And every year I turn you down.

What made you think this year would be different?

Oh, I don't know.

I just thought that since you and Ted broke up, well, you might be feeling

of lonely.

And since I'm always lonely, well, I thought that maybe we could be each

Valentine.

And for a short while, a few bittersweet hours,

We could help guide each other through the rocky shoals of human heartache.

Oh, Steve, that's beautiful.

Thanks. Carmen saved that to Miss Piggy in The Muppets Go Hawaiian.

Listen, I might agree to be your valentine.

But only on one condition.

On what thing?

There can't be any lip contact.

negotiator and i take it or leave it i'll take it happy valentine's day steve

happy valentine's day

Richie, why, you cut quite a dashing figure.

Why do I have to wear my dress up close? I haven't worn this stuff since Uncle

Louie bought the farm.

I didn't know your Uncle Louie died.

Good evening, Mr. Crawford, and welcome to Shea Winslow.

Eddie? Yes, I'm Edward, and I'll be serving you this evening.

What's going on?

Would you like something to drink while you wait for your dinner companion?

My what?

Let me see if I have one available.

Ah, table one.

You look very pretty tonight, Gwendolyn.

Watch some cartoons.

Whatever you say, dear.

Mrs. Winslow?

Yes, Mr. Winslow?

Would you accept a dozen roses?

As an apology for the reprehensible behavior of your foolish husband?

Nope.

Oh.

Well, how about if I throw in a two -pound box of chocolates?

Now you're talking.

Honey, you know, I just hate it when we fight.

Me too.

You know what I realized a few moments ago?

That you couldn't sneak a piece of this candy without breaking the seal?

Besides that.

No, I realize that I was angry at you for being stubborn and pushy at the

restaurant. And I was angry at you for being wimpy and indecisive.

I know.

But, you know, I guess another word for stubborn is strong -willed.

And another word for pushy is assertive.

Sweetheart, one of the main reasons why I fell in love with you is...

Because you're a strong and assertive woman.

I guess other words for wimpy and indecisive could be tolerant and

understanding.

Those are the things that I've always loved about you.

Do you remember when we bought this house?

You were so strong and assertive that the seller came down ten grand just to

you off his back.

You know, Carl, maybe the qualities that we admire about each other are also the

qualities that annoy us.

I mean, depending on the circumstance.

You're right.

But you know, no matter how angry I get at you, sweetheart, I will always love

you from the very bottom of my heart.

I love you too, Carl.

Hey, Mrs. Winslow.

Will you be my valentine?

I'll take that as a yes.