Original subtitles

Okay. Ham?

Ham. Cheese?

Cheese.

Mustard?

radio and toothbrush so you can uh listen to the golden oldies while you

your pearly white

You can brush through it.

Hello, Jill.

This day and age to read any good news on the newspaper page. And love and

tradition of the grand design.

Some people say it's even harder to find.

Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.

Because all I see is a towel.

Come on, now.

Mom, Dad, I've got big news.

Get lost. I've got bigger news.

Eddie, nobody wants to hear about your first chest hair, okay?

You're just mad because you have more chest hairs than me.

I've got a good shot of getting a scholarship to Harvard.

Oh, Laura, honey, that's great.

For the next two weeks, all I'm going to do is study. No TV, no dates, no

friends, no fun whatsoever.

How's that any different from your normal life?

Kevin.

All right, Edward.

Now, what's your big announcement?

Check this out.

Your son, Edward Winslow...

is being recruited by a major university.

What? Yeah. Coach Westfield called me into his office today.

A recruiter came all the way down here just to meet me.

Really?

What school?

Illinois Occidental University.

Wow! IOU!

Yeah!

Congratulations,

Eddie. Thanks, Mom.

Very proud of you.

Hey, and that's just the beginning.

Hey, you'll be a starter your freshman year.

And your junior year, you'll lead your team to the Sweet 16.

And your senior year, you'll win the NCAA championship.

Reputation? Well, I don't know. I mean, they got books and stuff.

Harriet, it's fairly obvious.

If it didn't have scholastics, they couldn't call it a college.

Hey, son, you know, when you become rich and famous, you're gonna have to have

an agent.

Why? Well, hey, when you're making gobs of money, you're supposed to have a guy

there to take a big chunk of it.

Well, can't you do that, Dad?

I love you, son.

Mr. McCabe.

What's the enrollment at Illinois Occidental University?

That's a very perceptive question, Carl.

I have no idea.

But I do know we have one of the top basketball programs in this country.

Eddie? Yes, sir?

We want you.

All right!

I take it basketball isn't the only reason that students go to your school.

Of course not.

IOU offers a terrific educational program. That is, if Eddie chooses to

advantage of it.

What do you mean, if, Heechin?

Okay. Our professors are very big fans of the basketball program. What are they

going to do?

Flunk a power forward because he forgot to read Silas Marner? Come on.

This sounds like a fine college, Dad.

Have you made up your mind, son?

I sure have.

I owe you. Here I come. All right. All right. Yeah.

See you on the quadrant.

Laura, honey, didn't you hear me knock?

Oh, sorry, I guess I was concentrating too hard. You should have knocked.

Laura, you know, you look a little, well, you look a little horrible.

I think you're studying too hard.

You can't study too hard, Dad.

Well, where's Steve? I thought he was helping you. He was, but he wimped out

after only 12 hours.

Gee, what a wuss.

Well, when is the last time you got some rest?

I don't know.

What day is this?

Laura, I am really worried about you.

You must be exhausted.

No, I'm like that little bunny on TV.

I just keep going and going and going and going.

Stop, stop, stop.

You're going to bed. Come on.

Come on. Dad, I can't. I have to go to the library. Laura, no way. Sleep first.

Dad!

I forbid you to leave this house until you get some rest.

Dad, you're exacerbating the problem instead of ameliorating it.

I am not.

But just to be sure, I'm going downstairs to check the dictionary.

until I get some sleep.

Why,

you should have told me. I nearly violated a direct sweet guy order.

What my father doesn't know won't hurt him. Now, I have to study. Are you

with me or not?

Negatory. I will not help you destroy your house.

Well, I'm going.

And I want you to keep your mouth shut.

Nuh -uh. I'm squealing, baby. And there's nothing on guys green or...

Thank you, sweetheart.

Well,

good.

What's the matter?

I see.

You're still a little punchy.

I must be a little punchy, too, because for a second there, I thought you

sounded like Steve.

Listen, sweetheart, I know that you think I'm being unreasonable, but you

your rest, and someday you'll thank me.

Uh -huh.

I love you, sweetheart.

Uh -huh.

Come on, give us a kiss.

Come on, give your old dad a kiss.

Close your eyes.

Night, honey.

Sweet dreams.

And get some chapstick.

Look out there.

Here I come.

Guys, can I see you for a sec?

Oh, Mom, the game isn't over yet. Oh, no, yes it is. It's over because I'm

I want you to meet somebody.

My husband, Carl.

Hi. How you doing? And my son, Eddie. Hey.

Nice to meet you, Eddie. You too.

Sam Massey.

Why does that name ring a bell?

They used to call me Sam the Slam.

Oh, yes.

I saw you on TV once.

You made a three -point shot at the buzzer to beat Georgetown.

Yeah, I got lucky.

That wasn't luck. It takes a lot more than luck to score 38 points in one

Oh, 40 points. But who's counting?

You know, you were one of the best college players in the game that season.

on, sit down.

Yeah, what happened to you?

Hey, that's okay.

Actually, that's the reason I'm here.

Your mother told me about your offer at IOU and asked me to give you a few tips.

Great.

Hey, Harry, how do you know Sam the Slam?

Well, I met him at the supermarket.

Sam's my favorite checker.

Thanks.

Checker? Yep.

Just promoted from bagger.

Oh.

Well, I guess I thought that somebody with a college education would be doing

something a little different.

I never graduated.

Well, why not?

Well, that three -point shot against Georgetown was the highlight of my

Turned out to be the last game I ever played.

How come?

Following week.

I shattered my right knee.

Well, couldn't the doctors fix you up?

They tried.

I had four operations over the next two years, but this baby was never the same.

Gee, Sam, that's tough.

Yeah.

One day I'm a big star.

The next, I'm Mr. Nobody.

My professors have been giving me a free ride.

But when I got hurt, they expected me to earn good grades.

And you know what?

I could barely read.

Did you flunk out?

Almost as fast as I used to drive the lane.

I'm back in school now, but I sure lost a lot of time.

You know, son, the thought of you getting injured never entered my mind.

Oh, Dad.

Well, just because Sam got hurt doesn't mean I will.

Well, that's true.

And I sincerely hope you don't.

In fact, let's even say you beat the odds and make it into the pros.

Are you aware that the average NBA career is only four years?

Four years?

I'd be retired by the time I was 26.

Yeah. And then what are you going to do with the rest of your life?

We're not going to let you move back in.

Now, look.

Look, Eddie.

I owe you as a good school.

But all the compliments they're giving you will disappear the second they don't

need you.

So you pick a major and work hard at it.

Think of basketball as the icing on the cake.

Thanks, Sam.

I'll do that.

You must be hot stuff on the court.

Well, I have been known to defy the laws of gravity.

You care to show me your moves, spaceman?

Let's kick it.

I better study hard.

Wasn't it nice of Sam to take time to talk to Eddie?

Oh, come on, Mrs. Winslow.

You know that he wasn't just talking to Eddie.

He was talking to me, too, right?

Well, maybe a little.

I don't know. I guess I got caught up in the excitement of my son's future that

I... Lost sight of his future.

Laura, are you okay?

No. What's wrong?

I snuck out of the house and went to the library.

You disobeyed me?

Young lady, what do you have to say for yourself?

You're putting too much pressure on yourself. You're having an emotional

breakdown. Look, Laura, it's terrific to have goals and work hard to achieve

them, but you need balance in your life. You need to have fun, too.

Yeah, sweetheart.

I mean, once you get some rest, you'll feel refreshed, and then you'll remember

everything that you studied. Yeah, and then you'll take that test, and no

what your score is, we'll be proud of you.

What if I don't get into Harvard? Won't you guys be disappointed?

No way.

You've always done your best, and that's all we can ask for.

I love you guys.

We love you, too.

I'll make you a sandwich before you go to bed.

You know, Carl, it's funny.

Laura always studies too hard, and Eddie doesn't study enough.

How can they be so different?

I don't know. I guess they're as different as you and me.

Carl, look at him.

She's fast asleep.

My little princess.

You know, Carl, she's not so little anymore.

She's grown up to be a young woman.

I bet she's gonna be very successful.

Yeah.

You know something, honey?

Eddie and Laura may be different.

But there is one thing that they do have in common.

What's that?

They are both good kids.

That's true.

And that makes us successful.

Hey.

What's the matter? Wait a minute.

If Laura stuck out to the library...

Who kissed me?

What are you talking about?

Well, I was up in Laura's room, and there was somebody underneath the covers

that sounded a lot like...

Behold, my sleeping beauty.

Why, here's my golden opportunity to steal a kiss.

Don't even think about it.

In association with Laura Mar Television and is distributed by Warner Brothers

Domestic Television Distribution.

Yotei, Laura.

Hi, Waldo. Are you and Usher here?

Yep. I thought you had a job with the ground crew at the airport.

I did, but they fired me when I directed a jumbo jet into the luggage carousel.

Wait here.

Now remember, in the unlikely event of a water landing, your seat cushion may be

used as a flotation device.

Thanks, Waldo.

No problem, Bob.

Wow.

This is fantastic.

Yeah, CNC Music Factory live.

No, I mean us.

You and me.

And no Steve Urkel.

You mean no Steve Urkel yet? He's followed us on every date we've ever

Man, he just won't give up.

You know what we need? An Urkel -sized roach motel.

Hey, what about introducing him to another girl?

Get real, Ted. Who would be willing to go out with Steve Urkel?

My cousin Myra might want to meet him.

Really?

What's wrong with him?

Nothing. She's just attracted to brainy guys.

Sounds good, but there's still one problem. Steve is obsessed with me.

Yeah,

but what do you mean, used to?