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1
00:00:28,910 --> 00:00:29,910
Tell what you're thinking.
2
00:00:30,410 --> 00:00:34,290
You're thinking, Steve, why do you have
a stool glued to your gluteus?
3
00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:37,770
No.
4
00:00:38,030 --> 00:00:41,930
I was thinking, Carl, why not just sell
the house and move away?
5
00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:43,410
Okay,
6
00:00:45,470 --> 00:00:46,429
Steve, I'll bite.
7
00:00:46,430 --> 00:00:47,970
Why are you stuck to a stool?
8
00:00:49,290 --> 00:00:50,290
Correction, my friend.
9
00:00:52,410 --> 00:00:54,430
The stool is stuck to me.
10
00:00:55,370 --> 00:00:56,810
Thanks to my latest invention.
11
00:00:57,470 --> 00:00:58,990
It's a revolutionary super glue.
12
00:00:59,250 --> 00:01:00,250
Wacky tacky.
13
00:01:00,470 --> 00:01:01,470
Patent pending.
14
00:01:04,370 --> 00:01:09,910
Uh, you accidentally glued yourself to a
stool?
15
00:01:11,910 --> 00:01:12,930
Oh, please.
16
00:01:13,190 --> 00:01:15,610
What do you mean, a ball? I would...
Yeah.
17
00:01:20,390 --> 00:01:21,390
Hello?
18
00:01:22,270 --> 00:01:23,470
Oh, hi, Mrs. Urkel.
19
00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:24,950
Just a minute.
20
00:01:25,070 --> 00:01:26,070
Steve, it's your mom.
21
00:02:28,910 --> 00:02:34,930
It's a rare condition, this day and age,
to read any good news on the newspaper
22
00:02:34,930 --> 00:02:41,190
page. And love and tradition of the
grand design, some people say, is even
23
00:02:41,190 --> 00:02:42,390
harder to find.
24
00:02:43,570 --> 00:02:49,410
Well, then there must be some magic clue
inside these gentle walls.
25
00:02:50,830 --> 00:02:54,230
Because all I see is a tower of dreams.
26
00:03:28,010 --> 00:03:29,350
Crazy world we live in, isn't it?
27
00:03:30,130 --> 00:03:32,410
Crime, war, poverty.
28
00:03:38,770 --> 00:03:42,430
Edward, that's the sports page.
29
00:03:45,330 --> 00:03:46,330
Oh.
30
00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:54,970
Listen, Dad, I'm becoming an adult now,
and... No, you can't have a car.
31
00:03:55,190 --> 00:03:56,190
Well, why not?
32
00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:02,660
you know this was about a car the
problem is you're going to college next
33
00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:07,040
and i can't afford to buy you a car and
pay for school oh well that's cool dad
34
00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:13,460
i've got the perfect solution really
i've decided to sacrifice college and go
35
00:04:13,460 --> 00:04:14,460
for the car
36
00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:33,080
What's the matter, Carl?
37
00:04:33,860 --> 00:04:37,220
Harry, is there anything that you're
willing to sell?
38
00:04:37,620 --> 00:04:42,080
You know, like an old table, some
knickknacks, a kidney?
39
00:04:44,420 --> 00:04:46,160
Eddie told me he'd hit you up for a car.
40
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,500
He's bummed out, but he understands.
41
00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:57,280
You know, Harriet, when Edward was born,
I held him in my
42
00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:58,280
arms and...
43
00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:02,000
I promised myself that I would give him
everything that he ever needed.
44
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:05,200
And you have, Carl. He has all the
essentials.
45
00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:07,660
Food, shelter, Nintendo.
46
00:05:10,780 --> 00:05:14,000
But most important of all, he has lots
of love.
47
00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:18,440
But, Harriet, the boy wants a car.
48
00:05:18,780 --> 00:05:23,740
Now, I can relate to that. I mean, a car
to a teenage boy means independence,
49
00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:25,600
freedom, sex appeal.
50
00:05:27,159 --> 00:05:29,440
I don't know, car. You were pretty sexy
on your moped.
51
00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:34,640
Well, that's true.
52
00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:38,700
But, sweetheart, I feel like I'm letting
him down.
53
00:05:39,280 --> 00:05:43,060
I can't buy Edward a new car. I can't
even afford to buy him a decent used
54
00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,280
What about buying him an old beat -up
car?
55
00:05:48,700 --> 00:05:49,700
What do you mean, a clunker?
56
00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:52,640
Yeah. And you and Eddie can work on it
together.
57
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,000
Well, I don't know.
58
00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:07,160
Oh, it would be a great way for us to
spend time together. You know, father
59
00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:12,380
son side by side, up to our elbows in
Greece, working and sweating till we
60
00:06:12,380 --> 00:06:13,380
like hogs.
61
00:06:15,860 --> 00:06:16,860
I'll let him walk.
62
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:21,280
Thanks, honey.
63
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:22,480
Hey.
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00:06:23,980 --> 00:06:30,380
How did a guy like me ever end up with a
genius like you?
65
00:06:31,180 --> 00:06:32,180
I don't know.
66
00:06:32,490 --> 00:06:33,690
I guess I wasn't paying attention.
67
00:06:39,370 --> 00:06:41,710
Why, Wacky Tacky will bond anything.
68
00:06:42,610 --> 00:06:44,790
Plastic, wood, stone, you name it.
69
00:06:45,590 --> 00:06:48,050
Well, what would happen if I spread some
on your lips?
70
00:06:49,490 --> 00:06:50,870
Well, my mouth would be shut forever.
71
00:06:55,010 --> 00:06:56,050
That's sick.
72
00:06:59,570 --> 00:07:01,090
Why are my little gummy bears?
73
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:05,080
Why don't you and I take in a flick?
74
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:08,760
Pucker up, Steve.
75
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:11,920
Now give me the clue. Oh.
76
00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:16,680
Listen, Miss Life is Short and You Ain't
Gettin' Any Younger.
77
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:22,900
If you think that you're just gonna open
this door one day and find the man of
78
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:24,440
your dreams, well, you're plum crazy.
79
00:07:39,370 --> 00:07:41,010
Would you like to buy some candy? Why,
yes.
80
00:07:41,550 --> 00:07:45,630
Yes, I'll pay. Excuse me, excuse me,
excuse me, but the lady has all the
81
00:07:45,630 --> 00:07:46,630
items she needs.
82
00:07:47,410 --> 00:07:48,710
Now be gone, scamp.
83
00:07:50,910 --> 00:07:51,910
Who are you?
84
00:07:52,370 --> 00:07:53,910
Steve Urkel. I'm her man.
85
00:07:56,270 --> 00:07:58,610
He's not my man. He's my albatross.
86
00:07:59,450 --> 00:08:04,510
She's very confused, and sugar will only
make it worse. Now... Oh, God!
87
00:08:05,410 --> 00:08:06,410
Won't you come in?
88
00:08:20,330 --> 00:08:21,269
I'm Laura Winslow.
89
00:08:21,270 --> 00:08:22,270
Ted Curran.
90
00:08:22,930 --> 00:08:24,830
Laura, you are beautiful.
91
00:08:25,170 --> 00:08:28,050
Is that my heart pounding or am I still
knocking on the door?
92
00:08:28,470 --> 00:08:29,470
Oh, please.
93
00:08:33,270 --> 00:08:34,890
Maybe it's my heart pounding.
94
00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:39,450
Listen, I know we just met, but would
you like to go out sometime?
95
00:08:39,890 --> 00:08:40,890
No, she's not interested.
96
00:08:41,190 --> 00:08:42,830
How's tonight? We'll catch a flick.
97
00:08:43,110 --> 00:08:45,170
She doesn't like flicks. I just asked
her.
98
00:08:47,330 --> 00:08:48,330
Sounds great.
99
00:08:51,609 --> 00:08:54,650
Great. Well, listen, now that we're
friends, I can't sell you candy.
100
00:08:55,210 --> 00:08:56,210
You can't?
101
00:08:56,290 --> 00:08:59,470
No, but I can give you some.
102
00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:02,290
No,
103
00:09:03,870 --> 00:09:05,190
but I can give you some.
104
00:09:10,650 --> 00:09:11,650
See you tonight.
105
00:09:11,910 --> 00:09:12,910
Seven o 'clock.
106
00:09:13,170 --> 00:09:14,170
Be there.
107
00:10:12,460 --> 00:10:17,600
got cheated but you don't know how much
i paid for did you give him money yeah
108
00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:24,520
you got cheated okay i admit that she's
not much to look at now
109
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:31,340
but we're gonna fix her up you and me
together yes sir there is nothing more
110
00:10:31,340 --> 00:10:33,140
reliable than a police cruiser
111
00:10:42,190 --> 00:10:44,230
Yeah, but that's the beauty of it.
112
00:10:44,590 --> 00:10:45,690
I don't either.
113
00:10:47,590 --> 00:10:52,390
I bought some books and manuals. Now
we'll read them and use that knowledge
114
00:10:52,390 --> 00:10:54,450
restore this baby to showroom condition.
115
00:10:54,890 --> 00:11:00,730
But, Dad... Son, use your imagination.
116
00:11:01,070 --> 00:11:03,470
Dad, I... Picture this.
117
00:11:04,250 --> 00:11:07,470
A big, powerful machine.
118
00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:11,970
Bright metallic paint glistens in the
sun. A big...
119
00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:17,220
whole racing stripe rips up one side and
down the other. You're almost blinded
120
00:11:17,220 --> 00:11:22,800
by sparkling alloy rims, but you can't
take your eyes off of her because she's
121
00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:26,720
beauty like no other car that you've
ever seen.
122
00:11:27,140 --> 00:11:28,140
Wow.
123
00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:33,440
What's that sound I hear? What's that
sound?
124
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:34,880
What's that sound I hear?
125
00:11:35,380 --> 00:11:38,140
Sounds like babes.
126
00:12:19,060 --> 00:12:23,320
A 455 cubic inches of raw V8 power.
127
00:12:23,580 --> 00:12:24,700
Four barrel cars.
128
00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:26,320
Twin chrome exhaust.
129
00:12:26,700 --> 00:12:29,140
Man, this ride is hype.
130
00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:30,760
Yo,
131
00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:32,480
dad, I'm sold.
132
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,700
Sweetheart, you are going to be the
hottest car.
133
00:13:01,630 --> 00:13:04,890
Steve, Ted's going to be here any
minute. Could you sort of hurry?
134
00:13:07,310 --> 00:13:08,310
Wow.
135
00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:13,630
I certainly hope you recognize the irony
in this situation.
136
00:13:14,510 --> 00:13:15,510
What irony?
137
00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:20,100
Well, here I am, gluing together... the
broken pieces of your shattered earring
138
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:21,580
so you can go out with another man.
139
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:27,220
But who will glue together the shattered
pieces of my broken heart?
140
00:13:27,820 --> 00:13:31,140
Oh, Steve.
141
00:13:31,660 --> 00:13:32,660
Feeling guilty?
142
00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:49,720
believe it's an idea.
143
00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:24,689
Uncle, right?
144
00:15:24,690 --> 00:15:26,790
Yeah, that's what it says on my
underpants.
145
00:15:32,030 --> 00:15:33,030
Won't you sit down?
146
00:15:35,050 --> 00:15:36,050
Laura,
147
00:15:36,150 --> 00:15:44,870
I
148
00:15:44,870 --> 00:15:46,010
thought we had a date tonight.
149
00:16:12,780 --> 00:16:13,960
Okay, here it is.
150
00:16:14,620 --> 00:16:20,000
Steve invented a super glue named Wacky
Tacky, and then he glued himself to it.
151
00:16:20,460 --> 00:16:21,460
What?
152
00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:25,960
Wait a minute, wait a minute. What do I
look like, an idiot?
153
00:16:26,780 --> 00:16:31,040
Well... That doesn't... I'm out of here.
154
00:16:31,620 --> 00:16:32,599
Ted, wait.
155
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:33,600
I'm telling the truth.
156
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,180
Steve, say something.
157
00:16:35,740 --> 00:16:37,440
I love you, schnuckums.
158
00:16:54,730 --> 00:16:59,410
Working together, man, I get emotional
just thinking about it.
159
00:17:04,410 --> 00:17:05,770
I'm all choked up, too.
160
00:17:09,130 --> 00:17:10,130
Yeah.
161
00:17:15,470 --> 00:17:16,470
Waldo.
162
00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:19,829
Where's Edward?
163
00:17:19,849 --> 00:17:20,950
He's putting air in the tire.
164
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:24,130
I blew up the first three, but then I
got real dizzy and threw up in a hubcap.
165
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:43,180
Oh, no, Dad, I called him over. I
thought it'd be kind of fun to work on
166
00:17:43,180 --> 00:17:44,180
with him.
167
00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:47,020
Oh, I see.
168
00:17:48,340 --> 00:17:51,760
Well, I kind of thought that we'd work
on it together.
169
00:17:52,420 --> 00:17:57,860
Oh, well, I mean, um, we could do that
sometime, if you really want.
170
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:02,680
Oh, well, yeah, you know, sure,
whenever, whatever.
171
00:18:45,450 --> 00:18:47,290
father wanted to get you a car more than
anything.
172
00:18:47,550 --> 00:18:50,690
Now, maybe he couldn't afford to spend
much money, but he was willing to give
173
00:18:50,690 --> 00:18:51,690
you all the time in the world.
174
00:18:52,050 --> 00:18:54,530
I know, Mom, but Waldo's my buddy and
we're having fun.
175
00:18:54,950 --> 00:18:56,650
Oh, I understand.
176
00:18:57,250 --> 00:18:59,790
You hardly ever get a chance to spend
time with Waldo.
177
00:19:00,110 --> 00:19:02,110
You're always so busy with your father.
178
00:19:02,310 --> 00:19:03,310
Oh, Mom.
179
00:19:04,270 --> 00:19:09,110
Eddie, your father didn't sleep a wink
last night, and neither did I, because
180
00:19:09,110 --> 00:19:12,350
kept going on and on about how much he
was looking forward to working with you
181
00:19:12,350 --> 00:19:13,350
on this car.
182
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:17,040
I didn't know that.
183
00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:22,220
Eddie, you're going to have a lot of
friends in your life, but you've only
184
00:19:22,220 --> 00:19:23,220
one father.
185
00:19:23,740 --> 00:19:26,920
And you know you're very lucky to have
one who wants to spend time with you.
186
00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:37,500
Hey, Dad?
187
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:38,520
Yeah, son?
188
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:42,240
Never thought I'd say this, but we're
done.
189
00:19:44,439 --> 00:19:45,780
Yep, we did it.
190
00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:48,500
I love her, Dad.
191
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:50,320
She's incredible.
192
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:51,440
Yes, sir.
193
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:54,100
This baby is fine.
194
00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,260
I know this was expensive, Dad.
195
00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:00,900
Oh, yes, it was.
196
00:20:02,780 --> 00:20:03,780
But you know what, Dad?
197
00:20:07,780 --> 00:20:09,640
I wouldn't have missed any of this for
the world.
198
00:20:15,460 --> 00:20:16,520
Neither would I, son.
199
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:31,940
Why don't you climb in, take off, and go
impress some ladies?
200
00:20:32,340 --> 00:20:35,280
Well, ladies can wait. I gotta go pick
up my best friend.
201
00:20:51,660 --> 00:20:52,660
I've been dead.
15028
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