Original subtitles

A bit of bubbly, my sweet.

Let it flow.

Harriet. Huh?

How long has it been since we've had Coppa de Winslow to ourselves?

Well, let's just put it this way.

A Democrat was president.

How you doing, big guy?

Go home.

Go home now!

I can't. I've got big news.

I just completed a 100 -hour trumpet course. And boy, are my lips tired.

Steve, can we talk man to pest?

Talk away, big guy.

Well, you see, the wife and I, we...

We're lonely for each other.

Ow.

Ow.

Ow!

You dog, you go.

Ow!

Well,

say no more, Officer Don Juan.

Let me serenade you two lovebirds with my special rendition of The Lonely Bull.

Did I do that?

It's so rare conditions this day and age to read any good news on the newspaper

page. And love and tradition of the grand design some people say is even

to find.

Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.

Cause all I see is a tower of dreams.

Real love bursting out of everything.

It's the bigger love of the family.

Go home, Steve.

Why? You just shattered an expensive bottle of wine.

Expensive? Oh, no offense, Carl, but I saw the label. The Chateau Stop and

Oh, come on.

Go home, go home, go home.

I don't ever take this. I'm going home.

Harriet, look at this mess.

I have had it.

Carl, calm down. I won't calm down.

Harriet, that kid is the bane of my existence.

He waltzes in here like he owns the place and always with some ridiculous

greeting.

Hidey -ho, neighbors!

Happy duty, Winslows!

Rise and shine, big guy!

Carl,

take it easy.

I can't.

Harriet, that kid... Whoa.

Carl, what's wrong?

Carl, I don't know. I'm dizzy.

Sit down, Carl.

Whoa, sit down.

Now breathe, Steve.

Oh, this doesn't make sense. I always feel great after I kick Steve out.

Carl, I'm calling the doctor. No, no, no, no, no, no.

No, I, uh... I'm feeling better already.

Promise me you're gonna go see Dr. Van Lowe tomorrow.

I will, sweetheart.

First thing tomorrow.

Now come to Papa Mama.

my pants.

I'm too sexy for my shirt. Too sexy for my pants. Too sexy for my shoes.

I'm too sexy for my cat. Too sexy for my balls.

On the catwalk.

On the catwalk. I shake my little tush on the catwalk.

On the catwalk.

On the catwalk. Oh,

yes, my succulent sweetie. You're not too sexy for anything.

Now, where are your pretty little toes taking you? To the mall, and the answer

is no.

I don't know. What was the question?

Can I go to the mall with you? Sure, baby. Let's go.

Too sexy for my shirt.

Too sexy for my clothes.

Too sexy for my friends.

And, uh... Daddy, your favorite sister needs a ride in her big brother's car.

Well, why didn't Judy just ask me herself?

Very funny. I meant me.

Boy, not having a car is whack. I'm telling you, the next guy with wheels

asks me out is going to be my new steady.

Hi,

everybody.

Hey, Carl.

Carl, I've been thinking about you all day.

Did you go see the doctor? Yep.

I'm fine. You are?

Mm -hmm. Well, what did he say?

Well, he said that my blood pressure is a skulch too high.

How high is the dose?

160 over 98.

Is that high?

Not if you're a flying Walinda.

I'm fine, really.

You see, whenever I lose my cool, my blood pressure goes sky high.

So all I have to do is simply control my temper.

Yeah, that's going to be tough.

What are you saying I can't do it?

Carl,

calm down.

Oh, popped off there a little.

Can't do that anymore.

You know, Carl, you need to learn stress management.

I'm way ahead of you.

See this little booklet?

I picked it up at the doctor's office. It's called Stress Busters.

Does it have any good tips?

Oh, yeah.

And here's the best one.

You see, whenever I get angry, I just recite this little poem. It calms me

Three, two, one.

One, two, three.

What the heck is bothering me?

Come on, come on.

What's going on?

Steve has a surprise for you.

Oh, no.

Did he sculpt my likeness out of compost again?

No, but this will give you just as many nightmares.

How much did you pay for this thing?

Nothing. My Uncle Cecil gave me 50 bucks to take it away.

Wait a minute.

I've seen this thing before.

You have?

Yeah.

This is the car all the clowns get out of at the circus.

Hey, there's a clown in it now.

Oh, that was so funny, I forgot to laugh.

But seriously, C, who makes this car?

BMW. A beamer, babe.

A 1960.

I said I.

I said it. That's what I said, huh?

Bye.

Not so fast, missy.

Now, you said the next guy with wheels who asked you out would be your boy toy.

Well, this is the toy, and I'm your boy.

Steve, you don't even know how to drive.

So I learned.

Give it up, Steve. You had 20 accidents last year just walking.

Uh -uh. She's right. She's right. But in my defense, four of those walkers had

been drinking.

Yowler, big guy.

Go home, Steve.

Hi, Estelle, my bodacious belle.

Hello, Steve.

I heard you got yourself a car.

Oh, yes, indeedy. It's a real beauty, too. In fact, that's... That's why I'm

here, to ask Carl a big favor. Will you teach me how to drive, big guy?

Steve, why don't you ask your parents to teach you how to drive?

I can't. They have a car phobia.

Why? I was born in one.

Steve, can't you take driver's ed?

No, it's the middle of the semester.

Please, Carl, teach me, big guy.

Mold me into a motor man.

it, honey. Look at that face.

Look at it.

Mother, you know how I get when I'm around Steve. I just want to throw

It'll be a good pet to see if you can teach him without losing your temper,

honey.

Steve.

You have to promise that you'll try very hard not to irritate me.

Could we concentrate on teaching if you don't mind?

Well, do you get in this thing or put it on?

Oh, break me up!

I'm sorry.

But... Well, how do you get in this thing? There's no door.

some basics here.

You got your ignition, you got your turn signal, you got your gear shift, you

got... Wait a minute, where's your speedometer?

There isn't one.

That's why my uncle put in this little chalkboard.

So you can write down how fast you think you're going.

All right, just put the key in and start the engine.

Listen to that tiger growl.

like a gerbil.

All right, the next step is... I can't believe it. I'm behind the wheel of my

very own car.

Calm down.

Oh, I can't, Carl. I'm too excited.

I'm in hergo overdrive.

Yesterday, I was a nerd. Today,

Did I do that?

It wasn't termites.

Look what you've done.

You have creamed my garage door.

Don't be sleepy, big guy. Timber, timber.

Three, two, one.

One, two, three.

I lost it there.

Complete control now.

Bothering me.

Man, I'm dizzy.

Well, take it easy. I'll go get help.

I'm

sorry,

Carl. I'm so sorry.

Steve, could you excuse us for a moment? I'd like to speak to my husband alone.

Sure.

And he told me a few things I found very interesting.

Like what?

He told me he gave you a list of things to do to lower your blood pressure.

Is that right?

Well, there could have been a list.

Reduce your salt intake.

Start a low -fat, low -cholesterol diet.

Exercise every day.

And that stupid one -two...

I found the booklet in the waiting room. It was keeping the coffee table level.

Carl, why did you ignore the doctor's advice?

Oh, come on, Harriet. No salt, no donuts, lots of exercise.

My life will be a living hell.

At least you'd be living.

I know.

Listen, Carl.

You may not worry about your health, but I sure do.

And so does the rest of your family.

But, Harriet, the stuff that Doc wants me to do is a real pain.

I'll tell you what gives me a pain, Carl.

The thought of living without you.

Oh, Harriet.

Carl, we have a lot to look forward to.

I want both of us to be here to watch our children grow up and get married and

have children of their own.

It'd be nice to have some grandkids.

We're a team, Carl.

Let's do everything we can to keep the team together.

You're right, sweetheart.

You know, Robert Browning said it best.

Grow old along with me.

The best is yet to be.

I love you, Carl.

I love you too, Harriet.

Family Matters is a Miller -Boyette production in association with Lorimar

Television and is distributed by Warner Brothers Domestic Television

Distribution.