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1
00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:08,760
Uh,
2
00:00:15,220 --> 00:00:19,480
Steve, you're late for work. I know,
Sweetums, but I had to put the finishing
3
00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:20,840
touches on my latest invention.
4
00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:22,500
So what'd you invent this time?
5
00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:27,080
Well, I like to improve my efficiency as
a waiter, so I took my skateboard and
6
00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:30,980
I... Well, you'll see. It's
demonstration time.
7
00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:19,840
It's a rare condition, this day and age,
to read any good news on the newspaper
8
00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:26,120
page. And love and tradition of the
grand design, some people say, is even
9
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:27,280
harder to find.
10
00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:34,340
Well, then there must be some magic clue
inside these gentle walls.
11
00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:42,480
Cause all I see is a tower of dreams,
real lovers in every scene.
12
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The bigger love of the family.
13
00:02:06,310 --> 00:02:07,310
Okay, son.
14
00:02:07,970 --> 00:02:09,350
Herb, hand me those wire cutters.
15
00:02:10,270 --> 00:02:11,710
Okay, but what's the big rush?
16
00:02:11,970 --> 00:02:15,550
We want to finish installing this dish
in time for tonight's world bikini
17
00:02:15,550 --> 00:02:16,550
contest.
18
00:02:38,510 --> 00:02:39,770
Well, where is everyone?
19
00:02:40,250 --> 00:02:42,190
Oh, uh -huh.
20
00:02:43,010 --> 00:02:46,570
You, me, lips, samooch.
21
00:02:49,310 --> 00:02:53,150
You, me, oh, fist, her.
22
00:02:54,210 --> 00:02:58,390
Oh, you kidder. So, what were you doing
up there? Shaving the old pits?
23
00:03:01,310 --> 00:03:04,650
I was not shaving my pits.
24
00:03:07,820 --> 00:03:09,020
Anna, go for the biker chick look.
25
00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:13,080
Oh,
26
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:18,260
what'd I say?
27
00:03:19,660 --> 00:03:20,660
Women.
28
00:03:21,380 --> 00:03:23,820
Careful with those wires, Dad. You don't
want to get fried.
29
00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:27,080
Son, relax.
30
00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:30,140
I am no neophyte when it comes to
electronics.
31
00:03:30,540 --> 00:03:37,220
You see, these wires will connect to
this cord, and this cord is not plugged
32
00:04:21,519 --> 00:04:22,520
young to do the laundry.
33
00:04:25,500 --> 00:04:26,800
Rachel, where did you get that?
34
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Hey, it's not mine.
35
00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:29,720
Then whose is it?
36
00:04:35,820 --> 00:04:36,820
Come on.
37
00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:38,920
You bought this?
38
00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:40,280
Of course not.
39
00:04:41,420 --> 00:04:42,420
It was a gift.
40
00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:54,880
He wants me to shout out to him how the
picture looks.
41
00:04:57,140 --> 00:04:58,140
Mr. Winslow!
42
00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:00,160
Yeah?
43
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The picture looks real dark.
44
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:08,760
Walter, honey, the TV's not on.
45
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Oh, shoot, then I came in here for
nothing.
46
00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:14,900
Walter, wait, wait, wait.
47
00:05:15,420 --> 00:05:16,920
We'll turn on the TV for you.
48
00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:30,040
I'm doing that.
49
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Hang out loud.
50
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Work with me, people.
51
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That's a stupid boy.
52
00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:44,460
Look, we lucked out.
53
00:05:44,700 --> 00:05:45,960
American Gladiators is on.
54
00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:50,600
20 seconds to go. Spencer has adopted a
defensive position. What's American
55
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:55,260
Gladiators? It's a macho game show. Two
contestants battle gladiators, and
56
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whoever gets the most points wins.
57
00:05:57,140 --> 00:05:58,830
Yeah, I love it. this show.
58
00:05:59,190 --> 00:06:02,550
There's never been a lot of half -naked
men flaunting their muscles.
59
00:06:02,850 --> 00:06:05,710
Exactly. I love this show.
60
00:06:06,770 --> 00:06:08,050
See that guy right there?
61
00:06:08,310 --> 00:06:09,390
You mean Sabre?
62
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She knows their names.
63
00:06:12,790 --> 00:06:13,790
There's my cousin.
64
00:06:14,510 --> 00:06:16,190
You got a cousin on television?
65
00:06:16,570 --> 00:06:19,510
Sure. Of course, he's not the only
successful fall, though.
66
00:06:19,910 --> 00:06:21,030
I have an uncle at Harvard.
67
00:06:21,270 --> 00:06:22,270
Does he teach?
68
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Nope. His head's in a glass jar.
69
00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:34,800
This is not a dance floor.
70
00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:38,200
And what are you doing up here anyway?
Didn't I tell you to stay away?
71
00:06:38,740 --> 00:06:42,760
Oh, now, come on, Carl. That little
electrocution thing should be a dim
72
00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:43,760
by now.
73
00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:55,320
Hey, that cleared my sinuses.
74
00:06:58,060 --> 00:07:01,100
Steve, we're almost done up here. Don't
mess things up.
75
00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:03,040
Well, look, I'll just have a little
look, Steve.
76
00:07:07,270 --> 00:07:09,030
Yeah. Mm -hmm.
77
00:07:09,490 --> 00:07:10,490
Mm -hmm.
78
00:07:10,910 --> 00:07:12,230
Mm -hmm. Uh -oh.
79
00:07:13,110 --> 00:07:14,110
What uh -oh?
80
00:07:14,250 --> 00:07:16,830
Well, you use wood screws instead of
masonry screws.
81
00:07:17,630 --> 00:07:18,890
Sloppy, sloppy, sloppy.
82
00:07:19,430 --> 00:07:21,250
Wood screws are good enough.
83
00:07:21,490 --> 00:07:23,490
Well, sure, as long as the wind never
blows.
84
00:07:23,770 --> 00:07:26,110
One good guess and this baby's a lawn
sculptor.
85
00:07:27,870 --> 00:07:31,890
Steve, get off this roof. Now, Carl, I
think you're being... Get off this roof.
86
00:07:31,990 --> 00:07:34,870
If you just give me... Get off this
roof, get off this roof, get off this...
87
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Fortunately, we landed on Steve.
88
00:08:29,590 --> 00:08:32,510
Come on, Waldo.
89
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Let's go get some ice.
90
00:08:34,110 --> 00:08:36,090
Good idea, because my sody pops warm.
91
00:09:12,330 --> 00:09:13,990
to apologize to you?
92
00:09:16,010 --> 00:09:22,810
I came over to lend a helping hand, but
you were
93
00:09:22,810 --> 00:09:25,390
rude and patient and not a nice host.
94
00:09:26,750 --> 00:09:32,410
You ruined our satellite dish, and you
almost killed me and my son.
95
00:09:33,330 --> 00:09:37,010
And you think that justifies coarse
behavior?
96
00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:56,860
society and by golly we should handle
our differences in a civilized way
97
00:10:56,860 --> 00:11:00,880
fortunately i have a cousin that can
make that happen
98
00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:11,620
tonight
99
00:11:11,620 --> 00:11:16,780
on american gladiators a special grudge
match between beauty neighbor that's
100
00:11:16,780 --> 00:11:18,660
right mike tonight's matchup is between
101
00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:47,680
Welcome back, and let's talk to our
feuding neighbors.
102
00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:51,760
Bone Crusher, I understand that besides
our cash prize, you have a little side
103
00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:57,080
bet going. That's right, Mike. If I win,
and I most certainly will, he has to
104
00:11:57,080 --> 00:12:00,080
stay away from my house for the rest of
his life.
105
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,760
And Hurricane, what happens if you win?
106
00:12:03,020 --> 00:12:05,120
Oh, there's no if, Mr.
107
00:12:05,340 --> 00:12:11,160
Zonka. When I win, this rude cop has to
give me a heartfelt apology.
108
00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:13,460
No, say it, don't spray it.
109
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:17,920
Okay, gentlemen, go get ready for the
first event, and good luck.
110
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:22,960
Let's see how our contestants match up.
111
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:33,960
Yes, sir, this is a classic David and
Goliath matchup. It's strength versus
112
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:34,960
agility.
113
00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:39,500
And, Larry, our first event is the
joust. The contender has 30 seconds to
114
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knock the gladiator from his platform.
115
00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:43,160
If he does, he gets 10 points.
116
00:12:43,580 --> 00:12:47,980
First up, Steve Hurricane Urkel, but he
draws the awesome turbo.
117
00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:38,340
Pretty good job of avoiding that
pugilist.
118
00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:39,900
Spoke too soon.
119
00:13:44,260 --> 00:13:46,860
That's Turbo's 11th victory this season.
120
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,520
You're taking an early lead in the
competition.
121
00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:48,240
You hit my husband again, and you'll
have to answer to me.
122
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:51,800
I'm down again.
123
00:14:52,140 --> 00:14:54,400
Yeah, spread the word. Don't mess with
Mrs.
124
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:55,600
Bone Crusher.
125
00:15:00,060 --> 00:15:02,100
Okay, Steve, you're down ten points.
126
00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:06,260
I may be down, but I'm far from out, my
man, my man.
127
00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:10,160
Well, Hurricane, it's time for the wall.
You've got to get to the top before the
128
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:11,220
gladiator pulls you off.
129
00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:12,600
You think you can do it?
130
00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:13,760
Piece of cake.
131
00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:16,680
No. Fine.
132
00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:20,160
Predators, ready.
133
00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:26,080
Whoa, listen to that crowd.
134
00:15:30,540 --> 00:15:31,640
Ready. Ready.
135
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:38,140
Jericho's looking good. He's looking
great. This kid's got some real moves.
136
00:15:38,340 --> 00:15:41,570
Well, he told me earlier he spent most
of his life dodging really well. really
137
00:15:41,570 --> 00:15:42,570
big guy.
138
00:15:48,050 --> 00:15:50,950
Calling all units. Officer down.
139
00:15:58,450 --> 00:16:05,370
Look, look, Colonel Schwarzenegger. Look
like Sabre was on the wrong end of that
140
00:16:05,370 --> 00:16:06,370
chute.
141
00:16:06,570 --> 00:16:09,550
Now there's nothing between Hurricane
and the top of the wall, Larry.
142
00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:19,660
And that ties the score 10 -10.
143
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:30,620
Our eliminator obstacle course is the
final event where the contender has to
144
00:16:30,620 --> 00:16:35,820
up a treadmill, across a hand bike, over
a spinning log, up a cargo net, down a
145
00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:39,880
zip line, and then down this final
straightaway, through the gauntlet, and
146
00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:41,260
finally across the finish line.
147
00:16:41,740 --> 00:16:44,360
We're down to the final event. The score
is tied.
148
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:46,400
Whoever wins the eliminator...
149
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:47,640
Wins the match.
150
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:59,320
Look out. Bone Crusher's having some
trouble with the treadmill.
151
00:16:59,900 --> 00:17:02,660
It's tough. You know, it isn't exactly
the escalator. It's a mall.
152
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:14,180
Hey, Bone Crusher's coming back.
153
00:17:15,050 --> 00:17:18,430
Hey, we're going to have to downgrade
Hurricane Urkel to a tropical
154
00:17:18,849 --> 00:17:20,510
I kind of like that weather analogy.
155
00:17:20,829 --> 00:17:21,829
Oh, thanks, Mike.
156
00:17:28,210 --> 00:17:29,210
Whoa!
157
00:17:40,290 --> 00:17:43,570
Urkel will have to wait five seconds
before he can continue on.
158
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,100
Maybe the rest will help.
159
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:57,820
Man, oh man, both Rutgers fought in the
net. How many times have we seen that
160
00:17:57,820 --> 00:17:58,820
happen before?
161
00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:02,060
Fifteen. It was a rhetorical question,
Barry.
162
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:03,860
Uh -oh,
163
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:08,560
13 is catching up. Hey, this guy's one
tough little cookie.
164
00:18:08,780 --> 00:18:10,180
I don't know why they call him a nerd.
165
00:18:10,460 --> 00:18:11,900
You didn't see him in his big clothes.
166
00:18:19,370 --> 00:18:20,390
We've got a race.
167
00:18:31,710 --> 00:18:36,450
Sabre and turbo activating the gauntlet
and here they come down the final
168
00:18:36,450 --> 00:18:37,450
straightaway.
169
00:18:44,770 --> 00:18:48,470
Two tired athletes, but Larry, it looks
like we've got a race.
170
00:19:09,740 --> 00:19:12,040
and it looks like it's bone -crushed.
No, it's hurricane.
171
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:14,800
It's a photo finish.
172
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:19,280
Let's take a look at the freeze frame of
that exciting conclusion.
173
00:19:22,780 --> 00:19:26,700
It's official. We have a tie. The first
tie we've ever had here on American
174
00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:28,880
Gladiators. Gentlemen, great news.
175
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:30,320
It was a tie.
176
00:19:30,820 --> 00:19:34,420
What? You take a five -minute break, and
you get to do it all over again.
177
00:19:37,180 --> 00:19:38,180
Steve.
178
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:40,240
Want to excuse us here?
179
00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:46,640
Steve, look, you win.
180
00:19:46,900 --> 00:19:47,900
Uh -uh.
181
00:19:47,980 --> 00:19:48,980
You win.
182
00:19:49,300 --> 00:19:51,220
I'll never come over to your house
again.
183
00:19:51,780 --> 00:19:53,260
Well, no, I don't want that.
184
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:58,760
Listen, Carl, I don't blame you for
being upset about that electrocution
185
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:02,760
I mean, the sudden catastrophic loss of
seven or eight million brain cells
186
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:04,420
wouldn't make anyone blow a fuse.
187
00:20:06,670 --> 00:20:10,270
Well, it probably smarted a little when
I landed on top of you. A little?
188
00:20:10,490 --> 00:20:13,070
It was like being body slammed by a
Steinway.
189
00:20:16,010 --> 00:20:22,170
But what hurt me even more, big guy, was
the thought of being banished from your
190
00:20:22,170 --> 00:20:23,170
home.
191
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:27,450
That's a pain too horrible to bear.
192
00:20:29,210 --> 00:20:30,210
Really?
193
00:20:31,150 --> 00:20:33,250
I know I'm a pet, Carl.
194
00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:37,320
love you, big guy.
195
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:44,580
And I... And I...
196
00:20:44,580 --> 00:20:47,880
admire your persistence.
197
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:51,240
That's good enough for me.
15261
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