Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:27,500 --> 00:00:28,500
Hello, Richie.
2
00:00:30,860 --> 00:00:32,659
Can I have a donut, too?
3
00:00:33,980 --> 00:00:34,980
Donut?
4
00:00:36,060 --> 00:00:41,020
Come on, Uncle Carl. The day you eat
Oprah and the day they make me Pope.
5
00:00:46,340 --> 00:00:48,240
Sure. Help yourself.
6
00:00:49,420 --> 00:00:51,560
If you want glaze, they're in the
granola box.
7
00:00:55,790 --> 00:00:59,270
So you sponsored me in a bike -a -thon.
It's for all good cause.
8
00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:00,810
Well, sure.
9
00:01:00,970 --> 00:01:01,970
Oh.
10
00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:05,630
How's, um, five bucks?
11
00:01:06,210 --> 00:01:07,790
How about five hundred?
12
00:01:10,010 --> 00:01:11,010
Ten dollars.
13
00:01:11,130 --> 00:01:12,130
Two hundred.
14
00:01:14,070 --> 00:01:16,890
Fifteen. I won't tell your mother who
put the frog in her underwear drawer.
15
00:01:18,470 --> 00:01:22,010
Make it twenty, and I won't tell Aunt
Harold where you hide the donuts.
16
00:01:27,210 --> 00:01:28,910
I always enjoy giving to charity.
17
00:01:29,610 --> 00:01:31,730
Well, it's not exactly charity.
18
00:01:32,630 --> 00:01:34,670
Oh? Well, then what's the good cause?
19
00:01:35,050 --> 00:01:37,570
It's cause I need a new bike.
20
00:01:53,010 --> 00:01:56,530
It's a rare condition this day and age.
21
00:01:56,970 --> 00:02:02,550
To read any good news on the newspaper
page. And love and tradition of the
22
00:02:02,550 --> 00:02:06,710
design. Some people say it's even harder
to find.
23
00:02:07,950 --> 00:02:13,850
Well, then there must be some magic clue
inside these gentle walls.
24
00:02:15,150 --> 00:02:18,710
Because all I see is a tower of dreams.
25
00:02:19,110 --> 00:02:22,050
Real love bursting out of every scene.
26
00:02:27,210 --> 00:02:30,410
We're going to fill our house with
happiness.
27
00:02:31,230 --> 00:02:37,390
But we'll smother the blues with
tenderness.
28
00:02:40,590 --> 00:02:47,030
There's room for you, room for me, for
gentle hearts and opportunity.
29
00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:55,190
It's the bigger love of the family.
30
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:27,920
Isn't there somebody else you can annoy?
31
00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:30,040
Sorry, it's your turn.
32
00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:33,720
Hey, want to join me in a little hoop -a
-her?
33
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:36,800
Can't do.
34
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,000
Well, why not?
35
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,060
It would hurt my reputation.
36
00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:45,320
As a starting forward on the school
team, it's my duty to play round ball,
37
00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:46,320
nerd ball.
38
00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:53,760
But I've been practicing, and my
progress is impressive, even if I do say
39
00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:54,760
myself.
40
00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:57,520
And since no one will play with me, I
have to say so myself.
41
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:02,820
I'll just take your word for it. Oh, but
you won't have to. You'll see me in
42
00:04:02,820 --> 00:04:04,300
action when I try out for the school
team.
43
00:04:05,660 --> 00:04:06,660
What?
44
00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,240
Steve, that's a big mistake.
45
00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:11,860
But you'll never make the team.
46
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:13,900
But, Eddie, I'm good.
47
00:04:16,980 --> 00:04:17,980
Hey, big guy.
48
00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:21,700
Don't start with me, Steve. I am not in
the mood for you.
49
00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:24,340
Ah, cranky.
50
00:04:24,810 --> 00:04:26,270
Perhaps you need to visit old Mr.
51
00:04:26,470 --> 00:04:27,470
Laxative.
52
00:04:30,830 --> 00:04:33,250
What I need is a new boss.
53
00:04:33,890 --> 00:04:36,090
Lieutenant Murtaugh is driving me nuts.
54
00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:39,930
He took me into carpooling. He said it
would save us money.
55
00:04:40,570 --> 00:04:41,570
Well, it would.
56
00:04:42,230 --> 00:04:45,490
But he always comes up with some lame
excuse, and I have to drive.
57
00:04:45,710 --> 00:04:48,130
So far, the only money we've been saving
is Murtaugh's.
58
00:04:49,190 --> 00:04:50,230
What's his excuse today?
59
00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:56,040
He can't shift because he got his sleeve
caught in his electric tie rack and he
60
00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:57,360
almost slapped himself to death.
61
00:04:59,580 --> 00:05:00,580
Hey,
62
00:05:02,900 --> 00:05:03,900
don't stop.
63
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:05,420
Freak accidents do happen.
64
00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:07,000
Don't I know it.
65
00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:14,440
I got an Uncle Dirk Urkel who was
blessed with a two -foot -long...
66
00:05:21,290 --> 00:05:24,390
trapped in the rear door of a Buick and
was dragged a -
67
00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:56,080
enough to see that.
68
00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:00,760
Ma, I need you to sign this permission
slip. I want to be a cheerleader.
69
00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:04,800
Now, Ma, I know what you're thinking. I
mean, all the other cheerleaders are
70
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:08,080
juniors and seniors, and I'm just a
freshman, but... Oh, Nora, please. How
71
00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:09,080
you ensuing?
72
00:06:09,340 --> 00:06:13,440
I mean, after all, you are my niece, and
that means cheerleading is in your
73
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,180
blood. Tell me more.
74
00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:17,000
Don't worry. She will.
75
00:06:18,860 --> 00:06:23,660
I was so gifted that when I graduated,
they retired my pom -poms.
76
00:06:33,510 --> 00:06:34,510
Excuse me.
77
00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:40,810
Laura, if you don't make the
cheerleading squad, you're going to end
78
00:06:40,810 --> 00:06:42,670
yourself to sleep night after end of
night.
79
00:06:43,190 --> 00:06:44,770
Why? You don't have to worry about me.
80
00:06:45,090 --> 00:06:46,470
I don't? How come?
81
00:06:46,870 --> 00:06:48,190
Because I tried out this afternoon.
82
00:07:34,990 --> 00:07:38,710
Vanderbilt muskrat. A physically
overdeveloped, mentally deficient high
83
00:07:38,710 --> 00:07:39,710
student.
84
00:07:42,990 --> 00:07:43,990
What's your name?
85
00:07:44,450 --> 00:07:45,670
Urkel Sir Stephen Q.
86
00:07:46,030 --> 00:07:47,850
What kind of name is Urkel Sir Stephen
Q?
87
00:07:49,290 --> 00:07:50,290
Dutch?
88
00:07:52,770 --> 00:07:54,210
Uh, yeah.
89
00:07:54,630 --> 00:07:56,830
Well, relax. Don't try so hard.
90
00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:57,949
Yes, sir.
91
00:07:57,950 --> 00:08:00,250
All right, let's see what you kids can
do.
92
00:08:13,690 --> 00:08:14,970
Well, I didn't have one.
93
00:08:15,190 --> 00:08:17,950
So is it all right with you? I'm wearing
a Bart Simpson's mug.
94
00:09:21,900 --> 00:09:22,900
your mug?
95
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:26,480
No, it's just that no one would pass me
the ball.
96
00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:28,700
And I mean, I'm really, really good.
97
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:33,660
Look, kid, you're not a basketball
player.
98
00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:34,920
Well, why not?
99
00:09:35,460 --> 00:09:37,000
In short, you're short.
100
00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:43,440
No. But you do have spunk. And that's
one of the two main ingredients for a
101
00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:44,440
equipment manager.
102
00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:47,700
Oh, and what's the other main
ingredient?
103
00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:49,200
A high humiliation tolerance.
104
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:54,700
to our new equipment manager.
105
00:10:43,050 --> 00:10:44,230
Nipple talk with the girls.
106
00:10:44,450 --> 00:10:45,590
Thank you, Miss Gherkin.
107
00:10:45,970 --> 00:10:48,410
I do try to keep the girls on their
toes.
108
00:10:48,990 --> 00:10:50,710
Well, it shows, Cassie Lynn.
109
00:10:51,710 --> 00:10:54,270
Miss Gherkin, I made up some new cheers.
Can I show them to you?
110
00:10:55,170 --> 00:10:59,510
Laura, you can show them to me. Miss
Gherkin is far too busy to listen to
111
00:10:59,510 --> 00:11:00,409
little cheers.
112
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:02,690
Oh, yes, dear. Show them to Cassie.
113
00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:05,830
Hey.
114
00:11:06,730 --> 00:11:07,730
Listen, freshmen.
115
00:11:08,150 --> 00:11:09,610
Don't you ever do that again.
116
00:11:12,300 --> 00:11:14,980
captain of this squad, I decide what
cheers we do.
117
00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:18,760
I know, but don't you think our cheers
are a little old -fashioned?
118
00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:22,540
Oh, and you think you're so hip, you
little geek?
119
00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:26,720
I was just thinking we could try
something new.
120
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:31,360
And by the way, if you ever call me geek
again, you'll be digesting those pom
121
00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:32,360
-poms.
122
00:12:18,830 --> 00:12:19,830
who might understand is you.
123
00:12:20,870 --> 00:12:24,110
I'm almost tempted to ask you to come
over so I can talk to you about it.
124
00:12:27,910 --> 00:12:28,910
Hi, Baby Gates.
125
00:12:34,710 --> 00:12:35,710
What's with the apron?
126
00:12:35,930 --> 00:12:38,070
Oh, I was watching the basketball team's
uniforms.
127
00:12:39,350 --> 00:12:40,830
You have to do the team's laundry?
128
00:12:41,590 --> 00:12:45,370
Affirmative. They have to be static
-free and squeaky clean for the big game
129
00:12:45,370 --> 00:12:46,370
tomorrow against Willow Glen.
130
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,660
Sit down. There's something I want to
talk to you about.
131
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:55,060
You mean you really do want to talk to
me?
132
00:13:02,860 --> 00:13:04,580
I'm all ears, little lady.
133
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:09,200
Okay, here goes.
134
00:13:20,970 --> 00:13:24,210
with the cheerleaders. They treat me
like dirt just because I'm a freshman.
135
00:13:24,570 --> 00:13:26,750
I mean, they mean to me. They make fun
of me.
136
00:13:27,530 --> 00:13:31,990
They... They... They treat you the way
people treat me?
137
00:13:34,590 --> 00:13:35,590
Yeah.
138
00:13:35,990 --> 00:13:37,310
How do you stand it, Steve?
139
00:13:38,110 --> 00:13:40,870
Well, I just don't let it bother me.
140
00:13:41,930 --> 00:13:44,910
You mean like laughing on the outside
while you're crying on the inside?
141
00:13:45,330 --> 00:13:49,250
No way. Well, if you cry on the inside,
sooner or later your inside mildew.
142
00:13:56,940 --> 00:13:59,140
your heart with hope, there won't be any
room for hurt.
143
00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:05,200
Look, I tried out for the basketball
team and I ended up being equipment
144
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:06,200
manager.
145
00:14:28,650 --> 00:14:31,990
later possible and maybe next year then
let me show them my new tears anyway
146
00:14:31,990 --> 00:14:38,550
laura you know i actually feel better
now
147
00:14:38,550 --> 00:14:44,850
steve i'm gonna tell you something but i
don't want you to over exaggerate its
148
00:14:44,850 --> 00:14:49,390
importance or read more into it than
really is there oh don't worry i won't
149
00:14:49,390 --> 00:14:55,290
thanks for the talk you love me don't
you
150
00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:39,180
avoiding events. This is a bloodbath.
151
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:53,780
Lieutenant, what are you doing here?
152
00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:56,640
Rooting for my old alma mater, Willow
Glenn.
153
00:15:57,920 --> 00:15:59,820
What'd you get your letter for, home ec?
154
00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:03,160
Football, sir, all conference.
155
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:05,580
I figured your school must be good at
cooking.
156
00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:07,480
They're certainly not good at
basketball.
157
00:16:08,220 --> 00:16:09,900
The game's not over yet, sir.
158
00:16:36,330 --> 00:16:38,610
Every time the crowd goes aww, we lose
another guy.
159
00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:42,710
Yep. If the crowd goes aww one more
time, we're going to have to forfeit the
160
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:43,710
game.
161
00:16:48,710 --> 00:16:49,710
Well,
162
00:16:53,110 --> 00:16:57,870
men, we made a valiant effort, but it
looks like Willow Glen has found our one
163
00:16:57,870 --> 00:16:58,870
weak spot.
164
00:16:59,850 --> 00:17:01,410
What's that, coach?
165
00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:09,020
players who aren't injured, so I'll tell
the ref we're throwing in the towel.
166
00:17:09,540 --> 00:17:11,400
Wait, coach, put me in.
167
00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:12,720
What?
168
00:17:13,020 --> 00:17:14,740
Have you been sniffing liniment?
169
00:17:16,180 --> 00:17:18,180
No, coach, really, I'm good.
170
00:17:18,599 --> 00:17:20,020
Urkel, you're not going in.
171
00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:24,460
Coach, if you forfeit the game, they
might fire you.
172
00:17:44,970 --> 00:17:45,970
is taller than him.
13347
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.