Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:10,079 --> 00:00:12,560
Laura, the most beautiful sister in the
world.
2
00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:15,440
Forget it, Eddie.
3
00:00:15,820 --> 00:00:17,460
Laura's savings and loan is closed.
4
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:25,000
Laura, that's cold. I gave you a
compliment, and what do I get back? An
5
00:00:25,980 --> 00:00:28,040
I'm sorry, Eddie. I didn't mean to hurt
your feelings.
6
00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:29,480
That's better.
7
00:00:29,540 --> 00:00:30,760
So can I borrow 50 bucks?
8
00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:35,140
What happened? Another speeding ticket?
9
00:00:35,500 --> 00:00:36,500
No.
10
00:00:36,750 --> 00:00:39,310
They got me on some obscure
technicality.
11
00:00:40,310 --> 00:00:44,090
Did you know they expect you to stop at
a stop sign every single time?
12
00:00:47,310 --> 00:00:49,950
Sorry, I can't help you, Eddie. I'm
saving up for a new computer.
13
00:00:50,750 --> 00:00:53,090
That's just like you, to think only of
yourself.
14
00:01:11,940 --> 00:01:18,360
Steve, I realize people ask you this
every day of your life, but why do you
15
00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:19,360
like that?
16
00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:24,240
Well, I've been working in my basement
nonstop, and I decided it was time for
17
00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:25,240
our fish stick break.
18
00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:35,240
Mmm.
19
00:01:36,660 --> 00:01:38,600
Now that's flounder.
20
00:01:45,610 --> 00:01:46,610
ocean taste?
21
00:01:49,050 --> 00:01:52,870
So, uh, you still trying to perfect
those radio -controlled garbage cans?
22
00:01:53,390 --> 00:01:56,250
Nah. Not since I had to pick Mom up at
the dump.
23
00:01:57,730 --> 00:02:01,110
I'm working on something much more
important now. A robot.
24
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:05,530
I've entered the National Robotics
Contest. I'm on the verge of creating
25
00:02:05,530 --> 00:02:06,530
artificial intelligence.
26
00:02:07,030 --> 00:02:09,229
It's a discovery that will change the
world.
27
00:02:10,250 --> 00:02:11,250
Steve.
28
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,580
Amigo. Compadre. Oh, boy.
29
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:18,700
Does this contest have cash prizes?
30
00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:20,680
Nope. First prize is a computer.
31
00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:21,960
Oh.
32
00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:24,500
Computer.
33
00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:26,440
Did you say computer?
34
00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:31,180
Oh, yeah. Top of the line. Fate of the
art.
35
00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,280
Well, Steve, if you win that computer,
could I maybe borrow it sometime?
36
00:02:34,700 --> 00:02:35,740
Oh, for sure.
37
00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:41,280
I already have a computer. I got a used
one from NASA.
38
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:44,080
My Uncle Colonel Colonel Von Urkel gave
it to me.
39
00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:50,160
Look, if I win the computer, you can
just have the silly old thing.
40
00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:52,940
Thank you!
41
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:19,990
I'm together now.
42
00:03:20,790 --> 00:03:21,790
I'll be leaving.
43
00:03:35,970 --> 00:03:42,450
It's a rare condition this day and age
to read any good news on the newspaper
44
00:03:42,450 --> 00:03:46,150
page. Love and tradition of the grand
design.
45
00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:49,800
Some people say it's even harder to
find.
46
00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:56,840
Well, then there must be some magic clue
inside these gentle walls.
47
00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:04,680
All I see is a tower of dreams. Real
love bursting out of everything.
48
00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:20,589
We'll smother the blues with tenderness.
49
00:04:21,209 --> 00:04:27,970
It's room for you, room for me, for
50
00:04:27,970 --> 00:04:29,870
gentle hearts and opportunity.
51
00:04:34,730 --> 00:04:37,630
It's the bigger love of the family.
52
00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:58,300
Blank, blank, now.
53
00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:01,580
Oh, I give up. It's too hard.
54
00:05:02,860 --> 00:05:04,540
Um, if they could see me now.
55
00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:08,700
Yep, Shirley MacLennan, sweet Shirley.
56
00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:11,560
Very good.
57
00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:14,380
Now beat it.
58
00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:18,980
I watch too much TV.
59
00:05:26,540 --> 00:05:28,440
Oh, Winslow, is that a new dress? Yep.
60
00:05:29,140 --> 00:05:31,280
Oh, it is gorgeous.
61
00:05:31,580 --> 00:05:33,160
Oh, I'm glad you like it.
62
00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:37,100
It was so expensive, I had to write you
out of my will.
63
00:05:44,180 --> 00:05:47,360
Where are you going?
64
00:05:47,900 --> 00:05:49,640
I'm going dancing with Fletcher Thomas.
65
00:05:50,420 --> 00:05:53,580
Again? Mama, that's twice in one week.
So?
66
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:57,200
Mother, I just plain don't like that
Fletcher guy.
67
00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,760
I mean, I see the way he looks at you
when you walk by.
68
00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:04,860
Really? Oh, that walk you showed me is
pay it all.
69
00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:08,220
Sorry, honey. Scrunch your stuff.
70
00:06:08,940 --> 00:06:10,180
Freak those hips.
71
00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:11,820
Step and sway.
72
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,140
Step and sway.
73
00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:15,520
Gotta take his breath away.
74
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:18,040
Oh, great.
75
00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:22,620
Terrific. My wife and my sister -in -law
are giving my mother floozy lessons.
76
00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:27,960
Carl, I'm 80 years old and Fletcher is
83.
77
00:06:28,420 --> 00:06:33,040
We're spending a lot of time together
because we don't have a lot of time
78
00:06:37,460 --> 00:06:38,760
And that's it, Mom?
79
00:06:39,020 --> 00:06:40,060
Oh, no.
80
00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:45,340
We also get two -for -one discounts for
the hot tub club.
81
00:07:10,580 --> 00:07:11,580
Mother.
82
00:07:12,100 --> 00:07:13,900
Oh, well, well.
83
00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:16,160
The paper's not here yet.
84
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:22,080
Mother. It is 6 .15 in the morning.
Where were you?
85
00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:24,060
I was with Fletcher. What?
86
00:07:24,700 --> 00:07:25,700
Was he there?
87
00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:27,680
Um, was he ever.
88
00:07:33,780 --> 00:07:34,780
Lighten up.
89
00:07:35,660 --> 00:07:36,920
Okay, Mother, that is it.
90
00:07:37,220 --> 00:07:39,420
I don't want you to see that Fletcher
ever again.
91
00:07:39,780 --> 00:07:40,780
What?
92
00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:42,720
You heard me. He is off limits.
93
00:07:44,820 --> 00:07:46,460
Carl, I'm your mother.
94
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,520
But, Mama... You show me respect.
95
00:07:48,860 --> 00:07:52,540
But, Mama, you... I know your
stubbornness on you, but you don't have
96
00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:53,540
like a jackass.
97
00:08:04,030 --> 00:08:08,110
Waldo, my traffic ticket has to be paid
by tomorrow, or I could lose my license.
98
00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:12,950
Do you think maybe you could borrow the
money from your sister?
99
00:08:15,190 --> 00:08:18,230
Sorry, my whole family's saving up to
send my brother Ronaldo to the Olympics.
100
00:08:19,190 --> 00:08:20,630
Oh, what's his event?
101
00:08:25,030 --> 00:08:26,670
You mean you have to pick one ahead of
time?
102
00:08:29,450 --> 00:08:30,750
Well, that's usually the way it works.
103
00:08:31,270 --> 00:08:34,260
Oh. He was just gonna go to Barcelona
and get in the shortest line.
104
00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:40,740
Have you guys seen Laura?
105
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:45,180
Nope. Sure you have. Pretty girl, dark
hair.
106
00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:47,880
Your sister, for God's sakes.
107
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,500
I meant I haven't seen her today.
108
00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:55,620
Oh. Cool.
109
00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:14,080
achievement. The one, the only.
110
00:11:11,130 --> 00:11:13,530
His intelligence doubles every 20
minutes.
111
00:11:14,050 --> 00:11:16,850
Every 18 minutes and 35 seconds to be
exact.
112
00:11:42,250 --> 00:11:42,929
I like it, Lily.
113
00:11:42,930 --> 00:11:44,510
This is Urkelbot.
114
00:11:45,110 --> 00:11:46,990
If you did it, you'd build a robot.
115
00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:48,129
Oh, yes.
116
00:11:48,130 --> 00:11:49,130
Yes, yes.
117
00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:55,070
He talks and everything. Steve, you're a
sister in first prize. And you'll get
118
00:11:55,070 --> 00:11:56,230
your computer, baby cake.
119
00:11:57,510 --> 00:11:58,610
Urkelbot's kind of cute.
120
00:11:59,930 --> 00:12:04,510
And you, my dear, are a fight for sore
optical skin.
121
00:12:05,930 --> 00:12:09,990
And you and Steven Q. Urkel formed a
human emotional attachment.
122
00:12:10,890 --> 00:12:11,890
What?
123
00:12:12,970 --> 00:12:13,970
for each other's minds.
124
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:46,080
We're being replaced by machines, man.
125
00:14:05,580 --> 00:14:06,640
Now listen, Mother.
126
00:14:07,560 --> 00:14:09,340
I'm afraid I have to lay down the law.
127
00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:11,380
No more Fletcher Thomas.
128
00:14:11,780 --> 00:14:12,780
No more discussion.
129
00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:15,100
Don't argue with me.
130
00:14:51,630 --> 00:14:54,430
sorry mommy i
131
00:14:54,430 --> 00:15:01,230
hate it when you're mad at
132
00:15:01,230 --> 00:15:07,490
me ma i don't know why i'm so crazed
about you and fletcher thomas you don't
133
00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:13,490
well it's just that when he looks at you
it's obvious that he really likes you
134
00:15:13,490 --> 00:15:16,810
and respects you how can you trust a man
like that
135
00:15:21,390 --> 00:15:22,390
Let me ask you something.
136
00:15:22,550 --> 00:15:24,250
Did you trust your father?
137
00:15:24,710 --> 00:15:25,710
Absolutely.
138
00:15:26,410 --> 00:15:27,410
Everybody did.
139
00:15:28,290 --> 00:15:31,510
My father was the finest man who ever
walked this earth.
140
00:15:31,990 --> 00:15:33,070
Yes, he was.
141
00:15:33,310 --> 00:15:34,690
And that's why I chose him.
142
00:15:35,030 --> 00:15:38,410
And I might add, I had plenty to choose
from.
143
00:15:42,490 --> 00:15:45,010
I was a knockout, honey.
144
00:15:47,110 --> 00:15:50,830
Mama, you still are a knockout.
145
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:59,480
Son, if I had the good taste to choose
your father, shouldn't you trust my
146
00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:00,580
judgment now, huh?
147
00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:07,340
Yes, ma 'am.
148
00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:09,140
Well, then, come here and hold me.
149
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,440
I love you, you little devil. I'm sorry.
150
00:17:16,079 --> 00:17:17,420
That was me.
151
00:17:18,260 --> 00:17:19,780
I can be anyone.
152
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:22,300
Steve, go home.
153
00:17:23,619 --> 00:17:24,780
Steve, go home.
154
00:17:25,839 --> 00:17:27,060
Steve, go home.
155
00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:29,640
Steve, go home.
156
00:17:57,520 --> 00:17:58,860
function than happily ever after.
157
00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:00,940
Come on, baby.
158
00:18:01,140 --> 00:18:02,180
Let's energize.
159
00:18:02,980 --> 00:18:03,980
Mom!
160
00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:06,160
Mom! Is that you?
161
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:07,820
Let me see. Where are you?
162
00:18:08,060 --> 00:18:09,060
In my closet.
163
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:11,440
No, I'm not.
164
00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:14,460
I'm in New York on a business trip.
165
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:06,200
I want you to turn this thing into a go
-kart.
166
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:11,480
But, but, but Laura, all he needs is a
little reprogramming. I'll make a few
167
00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:13,240
minor adjustments to his personality
circuits.
168
00:20:13,620 --> 00:20:14,620
But he was a monster!
169
00:20:15,260 --> 00:20:18,480
Well, I will grant you subtlety wasn't
his strong point.
170
00:20:20,180 --> 00:20:22,920
But Laura, Ergobot was a machine with
feelings.
171
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:25,400
He fell hopelessly in love with you.
172
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:30,280
So let's be honest. The only thing he
was really guilty of was having good
173
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:31,280
taste.
174
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:35,480
sweet Steve.
175
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,940
Well, I'm a sweet kind of guy, Laura.
176
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:45,120
And it's my fondest dream that someday
you'll realize that and marry me.
177
00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:46,360
Oh, yeah.
178
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:51,960
We'll build a clever house on the banks
of the Susquehanna River and we'll have
179
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:56,900
3 .2 children and 1 .7 dogs and a kitty
and a dog. Oh, and you'll make me lunch
180
00:20:56,900 --> 00:20:58,760
every day and I'll barbecue every night.
13328
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof