All language subtitles for family_matters_s03e04_words_hurt

No, Carl, it's a weeknight.

Harriet, wake up.

What?

Steve Urkel just walked into our bedroom
and bopped me on the head with a

newspaper.

Carl, you're dreaming. Go back to sleep.

But Harriet... Carl, I need eight hours
of sleep and I need them in a row.

Go back to sleep.

think he's sleepwalking.

Really?

Thief?

Come, come, come, come. Don't. It's
dangerous to wake a sleepwalker. Oh, no

problem. I think that I can kill him
without waking him up.

You don't mean that. Oh, yes, I do.

It's a rare condition this day and age
to read any good news on the newspaper

page. Love and tradition of the grand
design.

Some people say it's even harder to
find.

Well, then there must be some magic clue
inside these gentle walls.

Because all I see is a tower of dreams.

The moon may cry, but we'll smother the
blues with

deadness. There's room for you, room

for me, for gentle hearts and
opportunity.

Last night you walked into our bedroom.

In your hand was a rolled -up newspaper.

And you repeatedly hit Carl over the
head with it.

Let me get this straight.

I walked into your bedroom in the middle
of the night.

That's right.

With a rolled -up newspaper.

That's right.

And did this.

Sorry. Steve, you were sleepwalking.
Hmm.

Well, that might explain why I woke up
this morning in the dairy case at the 7

-Eleven.

Well, apparently I require professional
help from a qualified therapist.

How much longer are they going to be in
that kitchen?

As long as it takes, Carl.

Chill out.

Dr. Goodrich said that he can't put
Steve under hypnosis until he gets some

sense of his psychological makeup.

That's easy.

The kid is nutso.

Dr. Goodrich was nice enough to come
over here, so let's just leave the

diagnosis up to him.

After all, he is one of the most
brilliant and highly respected

the country. He will definitely be able
to help Steve.

And then, when I was seven, I started
stealing candy bars.

Of course.

You were compensating for a lack of
attention from your mother.

A cry for help.

Yes, and as you grew older, it
manifested in other ways. And that would

your compulsion for nude skydiving.

Yes. Oh, yes.

Thank you.

If you'll take a seat, we'll put you
under hypnosis.

All righty.

Doctor, can you make him quack like a
duck every time the phone rings?

I am a medical doctor, not a carnival
act.

He's not going to make him quack.

Ready, Steve?

Give it your best shot, but I've got to
warn you, you won't be able to hypnotize

me. Oh?

Oh, yeah.

Hard to intelligent to fall for the old
keep your eye on the watch routine.

Actually, the higher the intelligence,
the easier it is to be hypnotized. Ah,

you say, but so.

Now, Steve.

Hmm? You are sitting in a chair in the
Winslow living room.

Hmm.

You're here with wonderful friends.

Hi, sugar.

my bell.

Hi, Steve.

Rachel, the world's most beautiful boss.

Hi, Steve.

Hmm, interesting.

Steve, it's me, Carl.

I think he's mad at me.

Yes, the question is, why?

Steve, why are you angry at Carl?

Because he hates me.

And he wants me to move away and never
come back.

Is

he making

this up?

Most people under hypnosis don't lie.

But I never told Steve that I hate him.

Well, he got that idea somehow.

Can you find out what happened?

We can try.

Steve, I want you to go back in time. Do
you understand?

Yes.

I... I'm being born.

Too far back.

Go back to the time when you felt angry
at Carl Winslow.

It was about a month ago.

A couple of hours before the costume
party.

Costume party.

Now, Maxine's parents are chaperoning
this party tonight.

Oh, no, Mom. They're out of town. But
don't worry. Three kids are dressing up

responsible adults.

I'm just kidding, Mom. Max's parents
will be there.

Good. And if I were you, I wouldn't
tease me while I'm holding a needle.

Yes!

What is it, Dad?

I finally finished my clipper ship.

It took me four and a half months to do
it, but I finally did it.

Oh.

That's all you can say?

Oh, it's nice, Daddy.

Hear ye, hear ye.

Make way for Sir Steve the Earl of
Urkel.

Giddy up, giddy up.

Hail Winslow, well met.

Cute horse.

Get it out.

As well as that.

Come on, horsey. Giddy up. Giddy up. No,
giddy out. Giddy out.

Oh, boss, no big guy.

Oh, look out. Thank you very much. Stay
away from it.

M 'lady.

Thy beauty, doc.

my sister for a Mars bar.

Steve, I'm not going to the party with
you.

Well, okay.

I'll meet you there.

But hey, save a dance for me.

So I think that you just better leave.

Okay?

Yes. Yes.

Look at this.

Would you look?

This is my boat, my little boat.

Can you fix it, Dan?

No.

Four and a half months of work, and now
this is junk.

I wish he would just move away and
never, never come back.

Yeah.

Well, hey, I was upset.

I mean, I worked hard on that clipper
ship, and I didn't even realize he was

the room when I said it. Well, he was,
and it hurt him.

Way to go, Carl.

Steve, when I snap my fingers, you will
awaken.

You will remember everything you told
us. You will no longer sleepwalk because

you will no longer be suppressing
painful memories.

Three, two, one.

Darn, I could never do that.

See, I told you, Doc, you just can't
hypnotize me.

I'm afraid I did, Steve.

Do you remember what Carl said the night
of the costume party?

I most certainly do.

Oh,

wait

a minute. Oh, Harriet.

Well, where are you guys going?

I'm going to check your birth
certificate and make sure you're really

Gee, Doc.

Everybody's mad at me.

A normal psychological reaction.

But I feel terrible about it. Normal as
well.

Well, what do I owe you, Doc? Forget it.
I wouldn't touch your filthy money.

Okay, see you soon.

Bye now.

Good news, Harriet.

I just talked to Steve.

Did you apologize?

Even better. I asked him to come over so
I could apologize face to face.

That's more like it. Yep. I'll just tell
Steve that I don't really hate him.

In fact, I'll tell him how terrific I
think he is. You know, laid on real

Hello, Harriet.

Sergeant Winslow.

What is that?

Polygraph. You brought a lie detector?

Correct.

Why?

Oh, come on.

Who do I look like, Herbie the Hick?

Why, it would be easy for you to say
that you don't hate me.

Why, you could even say I'm terrific.
You know, lay it on real thick.

Oh, I wouldn't do that.

Buddy here is going to make sure that
you don't.

Oh, okay.

Let's get this over with.

Now, cop, it's only fair to warn you
that I have improved this particular

polygram. What do you mean, improved?

I've adjusted it so that every time you
tell a lie, you'll receive a blank

electric shock.

as long as you tell the truth.

No Phoebe, no Sharky.

That's right.

You don't have anything to hide, do you,
Carl?

Okay, okay.

Well, go ahead.

Carl Winslow is an honest man.

Okay.

Here we go.

Yes, it is. Are you happily married?

Yes, I am.

How old are you?

35.

38. 38. I'm 38.

Let's get to the heart of the matter.

Carl Winslow, do you hate me?

No.

is not broken.

I really do care about you.

Yeah? Yeah.

Look, let's talk for a moment.

When you smashed my ship, I flipped out.

I said what I said out of anger.

Now, that doesn't excuse it, but I hope
it explains it.

You know the saying, sticks and stones
may break my bones, but words will never

hurt me?

Sure. Well, It's wrong.

Words do hurt.

They sure do.

You know, when I was your age, I was a
tad overweight.

Okay. I was fat, okay?

But a lot of...

Mean kid said some really mean things
that hurt a lot.

Yeah.

Steve, when I said that I hated you, I
said it out of anger.

And I honestly did not mean it.

And I'm sorry.

Apology accepted.

Thanks, big guy.

Everything worked out just fine. I'm
glad.

So, Carl, how many women were you
serious about before me?

None, dear.

Uh,

three.

Steve, get these things off of me!

Oh, come on, Carl, how many?

Uh, twelve.