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1
00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:09,920
You know, I love this room.
2
00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:13,120
It reminds me so much of a kitchen.
3
00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:18,820
Waldo, this is a kitchen.
4
00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:21,120
Hello.
5
00:00:22,940 --> 00:00:24,020
This is an exercise.
6
00:00:24,460 --> 00:00:28,120
Everybody wants an exercise. If you want
to exercise, get Arnold Schwarzenegger
7
00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:29,120
or somebody.
8
00:00:29,340 --> 00:00:30,340
Dad?
9
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:33,200
You okay?
10
00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:34,980
No, I'm not.
11
00:00:35,540 --> 00:00:37,040
Kids, take a look at me.
12
00:00:37,580 --> 00:00:39,940
How would you describe my physique?
13
00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:45,640
Big bone.
14
00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:49,040
Huh?
15
00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:52,240
Wide load.
16
00:00:55,140 --> 00:00:57,120
What do you know? I know this is the
kitchen.
17
00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:05,920
Lieutenant Murtaugh chewed me out today.
18
00:01:06,380 --> 00:01:09,180
He said I was out of condition, and he
wants me to beat him down in the police
19
00:01:09,180 --> 00:01:11,380
gym for a serious workout at 5 .30
sharp.
20
00:01:11,820 --> 00:01:13,060
But it's only 4 o 'clock, Dad.
21
00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:14,259
I know.
22
00:01:14,260 --> 00:01:15,700
I'm going to stop for some waffles on
the way.
23
00:01:20,340 --> 00:01:22,520
Hey, you want to come hang out with us,
kidster?
24
00:01:23,140 --> 00:01:28,060
I'm going to stay right here and enjoy
the fact that I am momentarily Urkelis.
25
00:01:30,660 --> 00:01:32,660
You know, I hardly recognize you without
them.
26
00:01:33,320 --> 00:01:36,820
That's because he's usually buzzing
around me like the world's nerdiest man.
27
00:01:37,140 --> 00:01:40,020
And the cute guys show me like to play
because they don't want to put up with
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00:01:40,020 --> 00:01:41,020
the UAF.
29
00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:43,900
UAF? Urkel Annoyance Factor.
30
00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:47,360
No, Laura.
31
00:01:47,420 --> 00:01:51,200
Hang in there. Your dream guy can walk
up to your life when you least expect
32
00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:10,680
Now you two be home by midnight.
33
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:46,440
be some magic clue inside these gentle
walls cause all I
34
00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:51,940
see is a tower of dreams real love
bursting out of every scene
35
00:04:44,470 --> 00:04:46,410
waltz right out of there today in broad
daylight?
36
00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:51,690
Well, Lowell did, but they detained me
for five minutes for looking suspicious.
37
00:04:53,550 --> 00:04:57,170
Come on, Lowell. We have to get you back
in the basement before Ma and Pa...
38
00:05:13,550 --> 00:05:14,630
you could cut before then.
39
00:05:15,050 --> 00:05:17,070
Well, that's a risk I've got to take.
40
00:05:17,670 --> 00:05:20,470
Lowell's my friend, and friends help
each other.
41
00:05:21,210 --> 00:05:27,710
I mean, I was just picturing Lowell
jumping from that Cessna at 10 ,000
42
00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:21,240
up in traffic.
43
00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:23,500
Don't lie to me, Winslow.
44
00:06:24,940 --> 00:06:26,520
I smell syrup on your breath.
45
00:06:28,140 --> 00:06:30,040
I just had one waffle, sir.
46
00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:34,120
Sure, it starts with one waffle, then
it's two, then three.
47
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:38,340
Before you know it, you need Vaseline
and a shoehorn to get into your squad
48
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:44,260
Sir, can we get on with this? I'd like
to go home. I have a family.
49
00:06:50,220 --> 00:06:53,320
This treadmill is the secret to my
incredible physique.
50
00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:59,660
Thanks to this treadmill, I was able to
chase down Nitro Newton, the Boston
51
00:06:59,660 --> 00:07:00,660
bomber.
52
00:07:00,940 --> 00:07:01,940
Made me a hero.
53
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:04,200
Wouldn't you like to be a hero?
54
00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:06,780
Instead of just eating them?
55
00:07:10,100 --> 00:07:12,940
You know, I object to that crack, sir.
56
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:16,560
You outrank me, but you do not have the
right to treat me with disrespect.
57
00:07:17,820 --> 00:07:18,820
I don't?
58
00:07:21,610 --> 00:07:25,050
I don't mind exercising, but no more
jokes about my weight, okay?
59
00:07:25,450 --> 00:07:27,850
Fine. Now get on this treadmill.
60
00:07:28,850 --> 00:07:29,850
Both of you.
61
00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:41,730
Congratulations. You're about to
exercise on Altrea, the automated
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00:07:41,730 --> 00:07:43,690
treadmill. Talk to me, baby.
63
00:07:46,190 --> 00:07:48,970
Please state your personal code name
now.
64
00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:51,190
Personal code name?
65
00:07:51,470 --> 00:07:55,030
It starts you on your individual
program. I recommend you use mine.
66
00:07:55,450 --> 00:07:57,410
It'll help you get in shape front of it.
67
00:07:57,770 --> 00:08:00,450
Please state your personal code name
now.
68
00:08:01,650 --> 00:08:02,650
Stallion.
69
00:08:05,670 --> 00:08:10,150
Stallion. Little nickname I picked up
during a moment of passion when I was
70
00:08:10,150 --> 00:08:11,150
young and alone.
71
00:09:23,530 --> 00:09:25,390
But Laura is especially delicate.
72
00:09:25,670 --> 00:09:29,170
Why, her little bird heart can only take
so much shot.
73
00:09:29,530 --> 00:09:34,150
Steve! What are you doing here?
74
00:09:34,790 --> 00:09:39,090
My dad ordered me to get rid of Lowell.
He found out I was hiding him out in the
75
00:09:39,090 --> 00:09:40,170
house. How?
76
00:09:40,910 --> 00:09:45,630
Well, Lowell got a hold of my dad's
credit card and ran him up on the home
77
00:09:45,630 --> 00:09:46,630
shopping network.
78
00:09:48,290 --> 00:09:52,050
He bought three gold chains, a
refrigerator, and a...
79
00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:53,680
leave for me now.
80
00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:45,980
zipped about the ape in Laura's room.
81
00:10:47,140 --> 00:10:48,520
Red alert. Red alert.
82
00:10:48,860 --> 00:10:50,600
The hole's gone. He's loosing the house.
83
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:52,840
Let's split before he wants his money
back.
84
00:10:57,840 --> 00:10:58,840
Coffee.
85
00:11:01,540 --> 00:11:02,960
I need coffee.
86
00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:05,480
What's with you?
87
00:11:06,020 --> 00:11:08,920
I just had the worst nightmare of my
whole life.
88
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,340
What? That you had to move out and pay
rent?
89
00:11:14,810 --> 00:11:19,870
No. See, I was out on this date with
Denzel Washington, and he kept begging
90
00:11:19,870 --> 00:11:20,870
to kiss him.
91
00:11:21,030 --> 00:11:26,310
So I puckered up and closed my eyes, and
he planted one on me.
92
00:11:27,050 --> 00:11:30,510
But when I opened my eyes, it wasn't
Denzel. It was some ugly -looking ape.
93
00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:36,730
Major, you've got to stop eating those
meatball sandwiches before bed.
94
00:11:38,170 --> 00:11:39,430
They're messing you up, baby.
95
00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:44,960
I have enough trouble with men when I'm
awake.
96
00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:59,420
Congratulations. You're exercising on
Altrea.
97
00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:01,900
State your personal code name now.
98
00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:04,680
Stallion.
99
00:13:05,980 --> 00:13:08,760
State your personal code name now.
100
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:15,120
Stallion. State your personal code name
now.
101
00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:17,660
Stallion. The code name is Stallion.
102
00:13:22,060 --> 00:13:25,340
Please enter the number of minutes
you... Hello, Myrtle.
103
00:13:26,110 --> 00:13:27,710
You recognize this voice?
104
00:13:27,970 --> 00:13:31,210
It's me, Nitro Newton, the Boston
bomber.
105
00:13:31,950 --> 00:13:36,930
You bragged about being such great shape
when you busted me last month. Said the
106
00:13:36,930 --> 00:13:38,550
treadmill was my downfall.
107
00:13:39,330 --> 00:13:42,170
Well, this treadmill will be your
downfall.
108
00:13:42,810 --> 00:13:44,850
I'd put a bomb in it, Murtaugh.
109
00:13:45,150 --> 00:13:46,150
A bomb?
110
00:13:46,250 --> 00:13:47,950
That's right, a bomb.
111
00:13:48,950 --> 00:13:53,610
You understand, Murtaugh? You're gonna
blow up the second you step off this
112
00:13:53,610 --> 00:13:54,610
machine.
113
00:14:06,620 --> 00:14:09,580
You're an arrogant, pompous jerk,
Murtaugh.
114
00:14:09,940 --> 00:14:11,440
And now you're gonna die.
115
00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:14,200
I'm not Murtaugh. I'm Winslow.
116
00:14:14,420 --> 00:14:15,840
You're blowing up the wrong guy.
117
00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:19,080
Keep walking, Murtaugh. You'll be blown
to bits.
118
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:21,740
Help! Help me!
119
00:14:22,380 --> 00:14:23,380
Help!
120
00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:25,240
What's the matter, Carl?
121
00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:28,400
Listen, we're all cops in this room,
right?
122
00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:31,060
Right! I mean, we stick together, right?
123
00:14:31,340 --> 00:14:32,520
Right! Good!
124
00:14:32,860 --> 00:14:34,440
Because there's a bomb in this machine.
125
00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:48,940
squad, okay? I'm on my way. Do you want
me to get Lieutenant Murtaugh in here?
126
00:14:49,340 --> 00:14:53,860
Jaworski, if this bomb goes off, it'll
kill anybody who's in the room with me.
127
00:14:54,700 --> 00:14:55,700
Get him in here.
128
00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:00,620
Okay, just stay calm.
129
00:15:01,580 --> 00:15:02,660
I can walk forever.
130
00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:04,300
I feel good.
131
00:15:05,100 --> 00:15:06,200
I feel great.
132
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,060
Came as soon as I heard.
133
00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:27,800
Is the bomb spot on the way?
134
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:29,640
No, all the bomb units are busy.
135
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:31,200
All of them? How come?
136
00:15:31,460 --> 00:15:33,840
The Middle East Peace Conference is in
town.
137
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:35,820
What? Should you keep walking?
138
00:16:00,910 --> 00:16:01,910
What gets here?
139
00:17:11,470 --> 00:17:13,609
expert in the United States Marine
Corps. Oh, really?
140
00:17:14,109 --> 00:17:15,349
Well, I wish he was here.
141
00:17:16,170 --> 00:17:18,069
No, I think we're better off without
Stumpy.
142
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:23,750
Oh.
143
00:17:23,869 --> 00:17:26,390
There's enough explosives in there to
level the entire building. Yeah.
144
00:17:26,849 --> 00:17:27,849
Carl. Huh?
145
00:17:27,930 --> 00:17:29,070
I'm feeling a little faint.
146
00:17:29,390 --> 00:17:30,390
Don't worry, Lieutenant.
147
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:31,550
You'll be fine.
148
00:18:35,260 --> 00:18:36,300
Thank you.
149
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:39,720
How did you know which wire to pull?
150
00:18:41,900 --> 00:18:42,900
I didn't.
151
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:44,520
I guessed.
152
00:20:17,610 --> 00:20:18,610
love you too, Lo.
153
00:20:20,890 --> 00:20:23,950
At least lie down and take a nap.
154
00:20:24,250 --> 00:20:25,730
I don't need to, Harriet.
155
00:20:26,030 --> 00:20:30,050
But you were almost blown up. I mean,
that had to affect you. Not me.
156
00:20:30,670 --> 00:20:32,330
I am a trained professional.
157
00:20:32,730 --> 00:20:35,290
Stress doesn't affect me one iota.
158
00:20:45,170 --> 00:20:47,030
Maybe just a little nap, Harriet.
159
00:20:48,010 --> 00:20:49,150
Wake me just before Christmas.
160
00:21:27,050 --> 00:21:30,850
Family Matters is a Miller -Boyette
production in association with Lorimar
161
00:21:30,850 --> 00:21:34,290
Television and is distributed by Warner
Brothers Domestic Television
162
00:21:34,290 --> 00:21:35,290
Distribution.
12321
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