Original subtitles

Are we gorgeous or what?

Or what?

Oh, Laura, that eyeshadow is perfect on you. You can borrow it any time. No, she

can't. It's fine for dress -up, but not outside of the house.

Harriet, don't be such a prude.

Aunt Harriet's a prune?

Prude.

Although prune sort of fits.

There is about to be a murder.

It's a rare condition this day and age to read any good news on the newspaper

page. Love and tradition of the grand design.

Some people say it's even harder to find.

Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.

It's all I see. It's a tower of dreams.

Real love bursting out of everything.

It's the bigger love of the band.

awful smell.

Carl, what happened?

I was out in the backyard minding my own burgers when all of a sudden the wind

shifts and I get this stench from Dr.

Urkel's compost heap. So I went over to complain.

Carl, you didn't make a scene.

Of course not. I politely suggested to Dr. Urkel that the stench from his

compost heap was unbearable. He suggested to me that the stench started

walked in his backyard.

I told him, oh, yeah?

Well, that's big talk coming from a little quack.

And then next thing I know, he slam -dunked me into the compost heap.

He threw you?

But, Carl, Dr. Urkel is a teeny, tiny man.

He surprised me.

But still, the man's a munchkin.

and he ran into my fist.

I can't even enjoy a burger in my own backyard.

I'd like to throw some urchins on the barbecue.

Some say I have no morals and lack

propriety. Some say that...

Catch me if you can.

for a drink, school mom.

Don't speak to me, you shameless hussy.

Normally, I wouldn't set foot in this saloon of sin, but I'm looking for

Carr. Oh, honey, your husband's not here. But you know, if you dust it up a

little, maybe put on a little ruse, he might come looking for you for a change.

for the good of

What do you want here, two guns?

Revenge!

Make your moves, Sheriff.

Now, looky here, Tootie.

What happened, Two -Gun?

But your pa was a public menace.

Maybe so, but he was my pa.

And you had no call to do what you done.

Well, I done what I did because it had to be done.

Get on your Shetland and ride out of town.

Why would the fiercest desperado in the territory run away from a

portly pusillanimous piece of...

Don't

push me, kid.

You may be fast with those guns, but I'm...

smoking in elevators.

What's an elevator?

It's a real fast way to get upstairs.

For me, it's cash.

didn't show up i guess the only thing he can shoot off is

yesterday.

It's been a bad week for the Urkels.

Just sing me to it.

I just want you to know that.

I shouldn't have kicked you out of the house, and I'm sorry I yelled.

Family Matters is a Miller -Boyette production in association with Lorimar

Television and is distributed by Warner Brothers Domestic Television

Distribution.