Original subtitles

Oh, Ritzy, you are going to be the hit of the winter pageant. You know, you've

got to be the cutest thing in webbed feet.

He made me the thing with the biggest head of this water.

Doesn't surprise me. You get that from your mother.

Extra, extra, read all about it. Judy Winslow gets an A in spelling. Way to

Judy. That's what happens when you study.

And get grounded.

Mom, look at my test.

Just a second, honey.

What do you think?

Get a plastic surgeon. We need an emergency beak job.

I got extra credit for spelling platypus right.

Hold on a second, honey.

Okay.

Oh, yeah.

Cute.

Oh, cute.

Now, what were you saying, Judy?

Oh,

Richie, I told you to go before you put the costume on.

Come on.

I knew I should have built a zipper in that

thing.

It's a rare condition this day and age to read any good news on the newspaper

page. Love and tradition of the grand design.

Some people say it's even harder to find.

Well, there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.

All I see is a tower of dreams.

Real love bursting out of every scene.

Mother of the blue.

The Snow Buster. Hey, it's a snap when you got the team of Winslow and Winslow.

Dad, why don't we just jump into the 20th century and buy a snowblower?

Now, why do I need a snowblower when I got you?

Nice try, Eddie.

Well, I'm out of here.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, not so fast.

How's it about me and you hitting the old bowling alley?

It's burrito night.

No can do, Dad.

I'm hanging out with the guys tonight.

Oh, sounds good.

Oh, count me in.

What's the skinny, Minnie?

No, Dad.

See, you can't go.

My friends will make fun of me.

They'll call me a dweeb.

No, they won't. I'm a cop. I carry a gun.

Dad.

All right. Go ahead. Have a good time.

Thanks. See you later.

That was a close one.

Every time I want to do something with Eddie, he says he's too busy.

Oh, there's a reason for that. Oh?

What is it?

You're old.

You didn't say I was old last night.

You went to sleep before I could say anything.

If you want to spend more time with Eddie, then plan ahead.

Schedule a father and son outing.

I know what I should do.

If I want to spend more time with Eddie, I should plan ahead.

I'll schedule a father and son outing.

Isn't that a great idea?

I'm missing four pair of Eddie socks.

Do you happen to have any idea where they are?

Search me?

No need.

What are you up to?

Hopefully about a 38D.

Honey, just let nature take its course.

You'll blossom any day now.

Yeah, well, in the meantime, I'll just work on my balance.

Harriet.

We've got to talk.

Socks.

Your mother once tried bean bags.

Harriet, I just caught Judy ripping the beak off Richie's penguin costume. I

just don't know what's gotten into that child.

Has her hair been spinning around?

Judy's probably jealous.

Of what?

Well, she's not the baby of the house anymore.

But I wouldn't worry too much.

Same thing happened to me.

And look how great I turned out.

You were actually jealous of Aunt Rachel?

I'll have you know I was a stunning baby.

People came from miles around just to coochie -coo me.

They still do.

Give it a rest. Oh, come on, Harry. Now, you know when I was born, Mama wept for

joy. When you were born, she just wept.

Keep it up and I'll bury your Barbie doll again.

Okay, okay, but what are we going to do about these futon cousins?

Well, let's just let Judy and Richie work it out for themselves.

Like we did.

Why? Why?

Well, good Lord, man, she's an overnight success story.

Like she is, woman, hear me roar.

Hey, what's the haps, chaps?

Hey, Dad, what's all that?

The finest fishing equipment you can buy for 70 % off.

It's you and me, son.

Uh, newsflash, Dad.

It's January.

I know, I know.

We're going ice fishing.

Ooh, ice fishing.

The sport of king.

Yeah, we love this great stuff I bought.

Rods, reels, tape, and even these comfy little chairs.

Those fish will be swimming in Tuttle sauce before you know it.

Uh, Dad, I really don't think that I'm an ice fishing kind of guy.

Oh, you'll love it.

Jack Barnes out of the precinct and his son Danny go all the time. You know,

Danny wasn't into it at first either. But now he's hooked.

Hooked? Fishing?

Bodacious pun, big guy.

Well, if we're going to go ice fishing, I have to stock up on some lip balm.

Steve.

Steve.

I want you to listen to me very carefully.

This trip is just for Edward and me.

Alone.

Just the two of us.

Alone?

Are you trying to say you don't want me to go?

Oh,

you really had me going there, Carl. You crazy kid, are you?

Steve, I'm not joking.

said the perfect spot for fishing is Lake Wanamook. He said the rainbow trout

are really biting.

Uh, Dad, uh, I think I'm gonna pass.

I hope you understand.

Oh, I do, I do, son, I do. But hey, I spent 150 bucks

for this stuff.

You're going.

We have been walking for over half an hour.

When are we going to stop?

I am looking for the perfect spot.

And here it is.

Well, Eddie, here she is.

Leigh Guanamuc.

In all her glory.

Isn't she beautiful?

She's frigid.

No mystery whistles, no sirens. Out here, we are totally isolated from every

loud, obnoxious sound.

Hi, guys.

It's about time you slowpoke showed up.

Steve, how did you get here?

Mom says it was a stork, but I've seen the contract from the in vitro

fertilization clinic.

Steve, I meant, how did you get up here?

Oh, well, let's see.

I took the 1210 bus to Lake Bluff, I had a primo pecan roll, I missed the 245

bus, and then I hitched a ride with an armless teamster named Mabel.

No arms?

How'd she shift?

You know, I saw it and I still can't figure it out.

Worms. I'm using cheese.

You fellas want to try some?

No, thanks.

You'll catch more fish.

Steve, you use the bait that you want, and we'll use the bait that we want.

Yeah.

And we'll just see who catches the first fish.

Direct from the Arctic, the star of the winter pageant, Ritchie the Penguin

Crawford.

That's my waddle, Mom.

Oh, honey, it was wonderful. You just need a little more tail action. Now

Mommy and walk this way, okay?

First you waddle.

He was born.

Why, that little bum, let's lock him up and throw away the key.

Laura, everybody makes a big fuss over Richie, and I get ignored.

That's not fair.

You know what?

I remember that feeling.

You do?

Yeah, when you were born. You got all the attention I used to get, and I was

willing to do anything to you to get it back.

So what'd you do?

Oh, good, you don't remember.

toys and i dumped them in your crib so i'd have stuff to play with no i was

trying to bury you yeah but then i realized there's some advantages to not

the baby you get to stay up later you get to choose your own clothes and you

know what the best part is what you have a little kid around who really looks up

to you yeah i never thought about that then you go apologize to richard okay

is hearing you sing about it.

Dad, when are we leaving?

What are you talking about?

We're having big fun here.

Oh, really?

Why wasn't I told?

Are you implying that you're not having a good time?

Dad, I'm not implying. I'm telling you straight out.

I'm going to lose my toes.

Well, the good news is my dad will do the operation for you. The bad news is

he'll charge you an arm and a leg.

Edward, you are not going to lose your toes.

But take some advice from an old beat cop.

Think warm.

No offense, Dad, but what I really like is to go home.

Okay, this trip is over.

Then Eddie can go.

I bet this water is too hot.

Oh, there's no such thing as too hot. Call me, baby.

Oh, Carl.

Wait a minute.

Hurry, Harriet.

Oh, Harry, Harriet.

Hurry, Harriet.

Does this help? Oh, a little.

I just can't seem to get warm.

How about this?

Brought you some hot cocoa.

Just the way you like it.

19 marshmallows.

Thanks, son.

Mom,

can I have a minute alone with Dad?

Sure.

In case you get another chill, these lips won't be too far away.

So what's on your mind, son?

Dad, I just don't get it.

Why'd you drag me out to that late today?

I mean, what's with the father and son kick?

Are you having a midlife crisis?

No.

I don't know. I guess I'm just trying to make up for lost time.

What do you mean?

Well, when you were little, you used to always ask me to do things with you.

But a lot of the times I was too busy trying to scratch out a living.

Well, now you're older.

I have the time.

But now, you're the one who's busy.

Well, from now on, Dad, anytime you want to spend time together, just say the

word.

Really?

Wow.

That would be great, son.

Why the sudden change of heart?

Well, Dad...

I almost lost you today.

It really scared me.

Well, you know, it scared me, too.

Look, Dad, I want us to do lots of things together, but let's never go ice

fishing again.

Deal?

Deal.

I love you, Dad.

I love you, too, son.