All language subtitles for ellen_s02e09_the_trainer

Mom,

I swear, I don't know how you walk in
these things.

Yeah, sure, they make me look taller,
but I can hardly stand up.

I don't care if they make my legs look
thinner. I'm going to fall on my face.

Yes, I'll keep practicing.

Yeah. All right.

Bye.

Use your pass key.

What? Use your pass key.

What?

Who's Boris Spassky?

What are you doing?

You're late on your rent.

It's only the 4th. Well, rent's due on
the 1st. Yeah, but we never paid Mr.

Goodman until the 7th.

Well, there's a new sheriff in town.

All right. Let me get to my checkbook.

Getting the hang of this.

Boy, you're really taking this new
building manager job seriously, aren't

prefer super.

Uh -oh. Careful.

Get me. You got me?

Watch out.

Okay. Watch out. Help me up. Help me up.
Got it.

Got it.

Come on. Back.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Studio gonna make your movie?

No, they're not.

Well, they're crazy, because I loved it.

Well, that's what's really important,
isn't it?

They're crazy, because I loved it.

Hey.

Ready for lunch? Not quite. I have to
wait for Ted's personal trainer to

Paige! Where the hell is my newspaper?

Oh, here it is.

I don't know how you work for that guy.

You don't understand, Hollywood. I am
very lucky to have this job.

Fun!

Ted Clayton's office.

Oh, God, Erica, no, please. You can't do
this to me, please.

Ted is going to freak out.

Oh, God.

All right.

I'm dead.

Ted, trainer just canceled.

I can't believe her. She drives her car
into a tree, and the whole world has to

stop.

You should fire her as soon as she gets
out of the hospital.

Paige, what am I doing?

You're waiting for your trainer.

And how do we feel about waiting?

We hate it.

God, he's going to blame me for this.

You've got to fill in. Oh, my God, you
know what I never told you?

I'm not a personal trainer.

Ellen, he's never met you. He'll never
know.

I have been trying for a year for him to
see me as something more than a

secretary. I have to avoid screw -ups
like this.

Besides, it's not that crazy.

You go to the gym.

Yeah, I sit on the bike and I read
magazines.

Occasionally, I pedal.

Perfect. You're hired.

Please, just do this for me. It's only
an hour. Please.

Great. Ted, your trainer's here.

Wait. Kate, where the hell is my gym
bag?

Oh, here it is.

Here. You can wear my clothes.

Your clothes?

Hello?

I'll be out in a minute.

No problem.

Gotcha.

I like to take a personal approach to
training.

One -on -one.

Trainer to person.

So, where should we start? Weights? Why
don't we limber up? I'm a big believer

in stretching.

Nice and slow. If it takes an hour, it
takes an hour. So, why don't we touch

toes and feel the burn?

There it is.

Oh, don't question me. I've been
training people far too long to be

I mean, if it's not, can I stop now? Or
this is too heavy, or... I can't

breathe. Or I can't breathe.

I'm sorry, you can't breathe.

You okay?

Yeah. All right.

One more set of curls and you're done.
But... You got a problem with that? No.

As a matter of fact, this is great. This
is exactly what I need. I've been so

stressed out lately.

Just doing my job.

I have a $20 million movie that is
testing right in the toilet.

I'm unfamiliar with Hollywood jargon. In
the toilet, is that bad?

It's mainly women who hate it. Not all
of them, of course. Just the 16 to 64s.

Ah, they're a fickle bunch.

I don't know why movies have to be so
bad. There's so many great books that,

know, I can think of 30 right now that
would make terrific movies.

Really? Yeah, I come across a new novel
every week.

As a personal trainer.

Well, time is up.

So, do me a favor, Ted. What's that?

Flex for me.

Come on, show me what you got. Get big
or get lost.

Wow.

My work here is done.

Oh, how'd it go?

Oh, I'm beat.

Watching someone exercise is tougher
than you'd think.

Let's go get some burritos.

In a second. Did he say anything about
me?

As a matter of fact, he did. He said
you'd validate my parking.

That's okay.

You really came through for me today.

So, here is your check. Oh, no, please.
It was a favor for a friend. I don't

need any money, but can I keep the
thong?

Come on, here. No, $200? Wow.

Welcome to showbiz. I'd like to thank
the Academy.

Adam? Shh!

What is it? Is it a burglar or somebody
in the building? It's Mrs. Goober.

She wants me to fix her sink.

Adam, are you in there?

Get rid of her.

Adam doesn't live here anymore, Miss
Goober.

He moved.

Across the hall to Minnesota.

Well, if you see him, tell him I think
of clogged with chicken fat.

Oh, all right.

I had no idea this job would take so
much time. She's the fifth one today.

You know, that Mr. Goodman just laid
around all day and let this building

apart. Damn him and his asthma.

I got to get to the photo lab. I got a
ton of work to do.

Who is it?

It's Paige. Open up. Open the door.

Ask to see some I .V.

Mrs. Cooper does voices.

Open the door.

What's the matter with you?

Coast is clear. I'm going to make a
break for it.

Let's be careful out there.

Hey, you know what I can't get off my
mind? How much fun you had today.

Oh, I don't know if fun is the word I'd
use. Oh, no.

You had fun. I can tell. When you walked
out of that office, it was like you

were never more alive.

I'm not doing it again.

Ted wants you back.

Oh, no. I said I'd do it once. I retired
my leotard. Get someone else.

He doesn't want someone else. He wants
you, and he wants me to get you.

You know, Paige, in between workouts, I
own a bookstore.

It's an hour. A monkey could run the
bookstore for an hour.

No, because I tried that. He was good
with people, but very bad with the

register.

Couldn't do it.

Little hands trying to get the 20 or the
5.

Too much change all day long.

Believe me, I didn't expect this. I
thought he would hate you. No, that's

to hear.

No, what I meant was, Ted hates
everyone, but you.

Ellen is so energetic.

Ellen is so insightful.

Insightful?

Well, I'd have to say the same about
him.

He never says anything that nice about
me.

Really, never?

No.

I know you must look at me and think,
her life is so exciting, so glamorous.

God, I want to be her.

The truth is, underneath it all, I am
just a secretary.

No.

It's true.

I don't care.

I still want to be you.

You know, every day I try to get him to
listen to my movie ideas and he

completely ignores me.

So why do you still work there?

Because the last person who had my job
is now the vice president of production

and has a huge house in Malibu. And you
know how she got there?

Well, okay, she slept with him. But the
other way to get there is to do

everything that Ted Clayton wants. And
Ted Clayton wants you. To sleep with

What'd you do?

What the heck?

Final chapter, there's this... thrilling
chase that is so breathtaking and vivid

that if you could capture half of that
on film, it would have to be a hit.

Wow, that's incredible.

Paige, would you come in here, please?

Ellen, what's the name of that book?

White by Nathan Scott.

I need two dozen copies of that and some
sparkling water. Ellen, something for

you. No, nothing.

Ellen, it's Paige's job. She likes to do
it.

No, really, I had water before I left
the house today, and that should last me

all day. I'm like a camel.

It's okay.

Water, tap water.

Ellen, you know, I'm a people person.

I know people. You're not a personal
trainer.

I can explain.

You are a future movie executive.

Now, believe me, I know. Talent is the
one thing I can spot.

Paige, could you get us some lunch,
please?

Hey, can I get another refill here?

You know, you're going to have to go
home eventually.

Oh, no.

Only under cover of night.

Can't get any work done there. The
tenants are all over me. Fix my sink,

hinges, get my arm out of the garbage
disposal.

You're only one man.

Joe here.

Yeah, hold on just a second.

Adam, it's for you. It's for Mrs.

Simonoff. Her toilet won't flush.

Tell her I'm not here.

He says he's not here.

But maybe I can help you.

First of all, ma 'am, I'm going to have
to ask you to calm down.

What's your first name?

Evelyn? All right, Evelyn, I want you to
go to the bathroom.

Stop.

Sorry, I want you to go into the
bathroom.

All right, you there? All right, I want
you to lift the top off the tank and

tell me what you see.

Evelyn, I think I can talk you through
this.

You're still here?

Just until nightfall.

Maybe it's time you admit this building
manager job isn't working out. Oh, no,

no, it's great, really.

Um, listen, could you drag me up to my
apartment tonight in a big laundry bag?

Adam, you've taken a job you're
completely unqualified for.

Hmm. Now, are you speaking to me as a
friend or as Hollywood's premier

trainer?

Gone way beyond that now. I'm a movie
executive. I was in the office today,

Ted offered me a job. Wow.

That's incredible. When did you start?

I'm not going to take the job. It's
Paige's dream.

Oh, yeah. That would be awkward.

Can I have it?

Here she comes. No jokes. Be comforting
and supportive.

Hi. Sorry about what happened today. Me
too.

Don't be silly. I don't blame you.

Oh, good.

That job was just a childhood dream of
mine. A once -in -a -lifetime

opportunity.

But hey, there are other lifetimes.

Maybe in my next one I'll come in here
and... steal the bookstore out from

underneath you, and we'll all have a
good chuckle.

Well, as long as you don't blame me.

Doesn't matter anyway, because I quit
this afternoon.

You what? You quit? How could you quit?

I'm just tired of working for a guy who
doesn't appreciate me.

A guy who would hire, no offense, you.

I looked into that book that you pitched
him, White.

Let me tell you, that is no movie.

All the conflicts are internal. There's
no sympathetic characters, and every

studio in town has already passed on it.

Meanwhile, I'm sitting there at work all
day long writing treatments for

original movie ideas. I have got five of
them sitting in my desk right now.

But who needs original ideas when you've
got a personal trainer or a mailman or

a paperboy?

But you can't give up this easy. It's
your dream.

Oh, no.

In a way, it's good to have your hopes
dashed.

It's liberating.

Takes the pressure off.

Now I'm free to face each day for the
joyless vacuum that it is.

You go, girl.

Okay, Evelyn, I think we're done with
the pipes.

Now let's work on patching and
replastering that wall.

Don't worry, I can talk you through...
Evelyn?

Evelyn?

Evelyn! Oh, sweet God in heaven, no!

I agree.

You can't hide from me forever.

I see that you entered that building
manager relocation program.

She's relentless.

What's cooking?

I'm making Paige dinner. She's been
really depressed.

I think this will cheer her up.

Hey. Hey.

How's the job hunt going?

Great. I got an offer.

Terrific. I'm an assistant at a bulk
food distribution warehouse.

Yeah, I get my own cubicle in a small
ficus.

And if I'm there five years, I get free
dental.

You go, girl.

Hey, speaking of dental, wait until you
sink your teeth into this homemade

lasagna. Mmm, cheesy.

I'm not very hungry.

Oh, come on. One taste, you'll love it.
And then, after dinner, I rented movies.

Movies.

Oh, come on, Paige. You can't get out of
the movie business.

It's what you've talked about your whole
life. It's why you moved to Los

Angeles. Did you know that Los Angeles
is also the food distribution hub for

entire West Coast?

Stop it. Cut it out. This is not you.

You are the most stubborn, obnoxious,
pig -headed person I know.

Yeah, but Ted doesn't see any of those
great qualities.

So you march back in his office and you
make him listen to your ideas.

No, it's no use.

I've moved on.

Besides, this new place is like one
great big family. On Wednesday, for

birthday, we're going out for margaritas
and karaoke.

We think that's the final scene of the
movie, and they're never going to get

together. But just then, she finds the
letter, and it's dated March 23, 1942,

two days before she married Charles.
That night, she's on a plane to Paris to

reunite with the man she fell in love
with 55 years ago.

Oh, that's beautiful.

I want that book. I want that title. I
want that author. I want it now.

No, Ted. It's not a book.

It's an original movie idea. Here's a 30
-page treatment.

Ellen, you're incredible. Can I spot
talent or can I spot talent?

Apparently not. No.

Because it's not my idea.

It's Paige's idea. And she's got four
more just as good sitting on her desk.

Oh, great.

This is perfect.

She's quick. We can steal them. No.

No. Please.

You're missing the big picture here.

You need ideas. She's got ideas. You
need to get her back in here and make

an executive.

And to think, I just saw her as a
secretary. How could I have been so...

Wrong?

The job is hers. Great, I'll call her.
Use the phone in the conference room,

okay? I want to get started.

Okay.

Ted? I've come to get my job back, and
I'm not leaving this office till I get

it. I have worked too long and too hard
to give up now. I am not a quitter. This

is the only business that I have ever
wanted to work in, and I want to work

you. I want to be your secretary. My
only condition is you have to be willing

listen to my movie ideas.

So what do you say?

And I am not taking no for an answer.
Oh, actually... Actually is not good

enough, Ted!

Well, in that case, I have no choice.

Welcome back. You've got a job.

Really? Mm -hmm.

Thanks. You are not going to regret
this.

Well, I talked to Paige.

She's interested,

but she's got two other offers. And I
don't know. I mean, maybe if you

her a reserved parking place and her own
office and a 20 % pay raise, she might

consider it, but I don't know.

Ellen, I'm a people person. I know
people.

Something tells me you're bluffing.

Bluffing? You think I'm bluffing? I'm
not bluffing.

Ted, I... Oh, Ellen.

What are you... You sure got here fast.

How can you drive that fast? You could
get a ticket.

And you thought I was bluffing.

Keep quiet. What? Just tell me. Ow.

Ow.

Adam, is that you in that...