Original subtitles

Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for

you may not be right for some.

A man is born, he's a man of means. Then along come two, they got nothing

but the genes. But they got different strokes to take, different strokes to

take, different strokes to move the world.

Everybody's got a special kind of story.

Good morning, boys. Good morning, Dad.

I'm just leaving for the office. I'll see you later.

Wait a minute, Dad.

We gotta talk to you. We got a surprise for you.

Kimberly's in the bathroom.

That's no surprise.

She's been using the bathroom for years.

No, I mean she's in on the surprise.

Kimberly, Dad's here!

Oh, good morning, Daddy. Good morning, sweetheart.

Uh, Dad, this is from all of us for you for Valentine's Day.

Oh, hey.

What a nice thing for you to do.

Read the poem on the card inside, Dad. The three of us made it up.

Okay.

To a terrific dad and a very good friend, our love for you will never end.

You're handsome and your smile is winning.

And we don't care if your hair is thinning.

There is no one who is finer, so will you be our Valentine.

Oh, I love all of you.

That's beautiful.

I am the luckiest dad in the world to have three such wonderful kids.

I remember a time when I wasn't the wonderful dad.

When the YMCA had their father and son contest and I played that dirty trick on

you.

Hey, let's get going, James.

This is my dad.

Uh,

Willis.

I thought the Incredible Hulk was green.

I got to do.

Did you see the size of his father?

Did I see him?

This whole room was one big t -shirt.

I got to do, Arnold.

I just got to beat that James.

Hey, wait a minute.

Didn't Larry just say he didn't have a son?

So? So he's got one now.

Okay, Willis, that's it.

Okay,

Willis, that's it.

I thought I heard voices in here.

You two guys okay?

Well, one of us isn't.

He's done something that he's ashamed of. And it ain't the occupant of the top

bunk.

Well, tell me, what is it, Willis?

Dad.

I lied to you.

The father and son contest wasn't canceled.

I got somebody else to be my partner because I thought I'd have a better

of winning.

Man, I almost made a big mistake, didn't I? I was really dumb.

Well, I don't like to insult you, Willis, but when you're right, you're

Hey, gang, I think I better get going.

Valentine card's not all.

We're also taking him out tonight.

Yeah, and paying for it ourselves.

To a place you're just dying to go.

Where's that?

The circus.

Oh, well, I was afraid it was going to be something I wouldn't want to do, like

going out to dinner and a good play.

That's terrific, guys.

See you after school.

Bye -bye, Dad. Have a good day.

I know just what I'm going to wear to the circus. Forget it. They got enough

clowns already.

No, I'm talking about my Superman outfit.

Then I can fly like those acrobats.

Hey,

it's not here.

Hey, maybe it's down in the storage room.

Remember we packed away those Halloween costumes and a bunch of other stuff?

Yeah. Here's the bin right here. All right.

Hey,

look what I found, Arnold.

Your doll Herman that you used to sleep with.

Me sleep with a dog?

Well, then she must have me mixed up with some immature little kid.

Don't try to con me, little brother.

Remember, I'm the one that found out you slept with a dog.

Well, I didn't sleep with that dog.

You gave away my real one. Dad had that one made up to try to fool me, so I

sleep again.

How'd you know this wasn't Homer?

Well, it's when a guy sleeps with a dog for eight years, he gets to know.

Never learned to lock doors.

Ah, here he is, Willis.

All right, Arnold. Come on, we don't want to be late for school. Oh, we won't

be. Get on my back and I'll fly us there.

Come on, we don't want to be late.

All right.

Hey,

the door's stuck.

Step aside, ordinary human.

This is a job for Super Arnold.

Watch this.

Super Arnold better stop or he'll bust a super gut.

I got news for you, Arnold.

We're locked in here.

What you talking about, Willis?

Man, this is awful, woman. It's school.

Well, I'll get over that. What about the circus?

Hey! Hey, you circus! We're locked in here!

Arnold, it's easy.

Oh, man.

We'll never get out.

I'm scared, Willis.

There's no reason to be.

We'll be fine. He'll come get us soon.

It's kind of like we had your appendix out and you were scared, but everything

worked out okay.

And you even met that foxy little Alice, remember?

What's the matter with you, Arnold?

Oh, I had this dumb pain in my thigh.

I've got one in my throat.

I'm probably going to take my tonsils out.

What are they going to take out of you?

Nothing. I'm leaving this doctor's office with all my original equipment.

a doctor sticking a knife this big in your mouth and ripping your throat out

throwing it away?

Oh, Arnold, doctors aren't like that.

Sure they are.

Don't you go to the movies?

Didn't you see that one about that crazy doctor?

Uh -uh.

He gets you on the operating table, and while you scream, he cuts you up and

sells parts of you all over town.

Oh, Arnold, doctors don't do that. Well, they're very nice.

Then how come they wear masks?

That's so you won't know which ones are crazy.

This is Space Station calling Rocket Ship Arnold.

This is Space Station calling Rocket Ship Arnold.

Where are you?

This is Rocket Ship Arnold. I'm about to land.

Okay. One small step for Arnold is the best I can do for mankind.

Did everybody hear that?

Yes, including your nurse.

Would the moon people please knock it off, or you're going to be invaded by

enema people.

Uh, this is the moon people quitting while they're ahead.

You're not going to be in this room with Alice.

She's moving to another room.

No, I'm not.

Of course you're not.

Yes, she is.

And that's the truth.

But why am I moving?

Alice, Arnold and me have always said, said like it is, right?

Right. Go ahead and say it.

Alice, your father's moving you out because... because

Arnold's black.

You're still safe here, don't we, Penelope?

Penelope? She's here?

see, Penelope.

She came to see the palace.

Uh, palace?

Uh -huh. If you can be on the moon, I can be in a palace.

That's fair enough.

That makes sense.

Okay, here we are. We're in Alice's palace.

How do you like that, Penelope?

She just left.

She's hard to keep track of.

She left because she's afraid of the wicked king who lives in the palace.

He's a bad dude.

He doesn't live with his queen, and he has a golden -haired daughter who's very

sad. What's her problem? Her father won't let her play with her best friend

because he's different.

How's he different?

He's green.

That's what I call different.

The wicked king banishes him into the cave. So go to the cave, Arnold, because

you're the green boy.

I am?

Okay.

You're the only one who can save him.

Okay, I'll operate.

Will the purple nurse and the plaid nurse and the red nurse please put this

on the table? And just in case he needs the last rites, send in the blue nun.

I'll be your assistant, Arnold.

Hmm, looks like he needs a brain transplant.

Give me the carbonite.

Okay, here we go.

Slip me a brain out of the jar.

Here, this brain will make him kind and loving.

He can use it.

Zip him up.

You were okay then, and you're going to be okay this time, Arnold.

No, I'll never see Alice again, because they're never going to find us, Willis.

We're going to die down here.

Of course they'll find us, Arnold.

There's nothing to be afraid of. Trust me. We're going to get out.

We'll be okay.

You're not gonna die, Arnold.

Believe me, your number's not up.

But how about you? What if your number is?

Well, it's almost five o 'clock. We've been down here for eight hours.

Well, I'm sure Dad's been looking for us. And he'll be here soon.

My stomach's so empty that when it growls, I get an echo.

Are the boys upstairs getting dressed to go to the circus?

No, they're not home from school yet.

Not yet?

It's not like Arnold to be late for a circus.

Excuse me.

Hello?

Oh, hello, Lewis.

No, Arnold's not here.

No, he's not sick. Why?

What do you mean he didn't go to school?

All right, I'll tell him he called, Lewis.

Arnold didn't go to school today?

And if Willis isn't home yet, it means he probably didn't go to school either.

They must be together.

But where? What could have happened to them?

You speak to the doorman. Maybe he's seen them. I'm going to call the

and the police. Okay.

Willis, we're gonna die down here.

My whole life and a Big Mac just passed in front of my eyes.

Arnold, pull yourself together.

You haven't eaten for a while.

Hey, I've got an idea.

Arnold, what are you doing?

If Charlie Chaplin can eat a shoe, so can I.

I can't do it.

I love junk food, but I gotta pass on sneakers.

Look, Arnold, I know you're hungry and scared, but I'm your big brother.

Haven't I always taken care of you?

Yeah, but this time it's different.

No, it's not, Arnold.

We'll get out of it.

Even if we don't, Willis, at least we're together.

And besides, I've led a full life. I even met the champ.

You sure did.

But I had to trick him into coming over by telling him that you were very sick.

Come in, champ.

He's awfully weak, champ.

Oh.

Hi there, Arnold.

Who's that?

It's me, the champ.

Joe Louis?

You can't delude.

No, it's me, Muhammad Ali.

You'll have to speak louder. I can't hear you over those goals.

Well, this kid's in trouble. Did you all find out what he's got?

It's a rare tropical disease.

When was it in the tropics?

It wasn't. That's what makes it so rare.

So what?

Champ?

Yeah? Could I ask a favor while I still got breath in my little lungs?

Yeah, what is it?

Could you autograph a picture for me?

Be glad to.

Here's a pen.

Oh, you've got quicker hands than me.

Well, I've got my picture already for you. Now, what do you want me to say?

To my best friend, Arnold.

To my best friend, Arnold.

Who I've always liked to have dinner with.

Who I've always liked to have dinner with.

And who I'm teaching to hook guys like the goods so they won't pick on him.

Those guns will be thickened down. You shouldn't have a lot of energy.

Oh, oh, well, it comes and goes. It just went.

Hey, I owe meeting the champ to you, Willis. You've been the greatest brother

guy ever had.

You too, Arnold.

No, like I was real dumb that time I thought you were trying to steal my

I only did it to teach you a lesson, Arnold.

I know, but at the time I thought you really dug her, remember?

Don't blow away. I ain't through yet, Mom.

I brought you a new racket called the Slip Discos.

Thank you, little mama.

What'd you say, big mama?

Hi, Arnold. Oh, Willis, would you please show me that terrific backflip again?

Anything for you, sweet stuff.

Hey, hey, I brought you a present, sugar face.

Go ahead, Willis.

Hold this, little mama.

That's it.

Yeah,

well, you know, I get bored walking the regular way.

Thank you, little mama.

Hey, Lali, that candy cost me three weeks of loans.

I was going to buy a book.

your stomachs but I blew it on you instead.

and we got some fancy dancing to do. Okay.

That's too much, Willis. Aw, he can't dance.

Oh, I'll show you some dance.

She was just using me to meet you, Willis. I sure was fooled.

I was just putting in the hands of an experienced woman.

Well, it won't happen again, Arnold.

Now you're an experienced man.

Yeah, you can write that on my tombstone.

Here lies an experienced dead man.

I'll be right here, officer, please.

Call me the minute you know something.

Daddy, the doorman said that he hadn't even seen Willis and Arnold leave the

building this morning.

I don't understand that.

If they didn't leave the building, where could they be?

Did they say anything strange to you this morning?

No stranger than usual.

I was in the bathroom, and Arnold yelled in and asked if I knew where his

Superman outfit was.

Why would he ask about his Superman outfit?

Well, when we go to heaven, you think we can share the same room?

Arnold, we're not going to heaven.

Well, maybe we can share the same room wherever we go.

I better do some heavy praying. Maybe God will hear me like he did that time

were mad at me and you didn't want to live with me anymore.

Can you hear me out there, God?

Me, Arnold Jackson.

The little kid on Park Avenue.

Well, I know it's kind of late, but I figured if I'm up, so are you.

He left because he's mad at me.

Well, I miss him even if he hits me with pillows and makes my life miserable.

I promise if you send him back that he can have the whole place.

I mean, I don't need that much room.

I can sleep in a drawer.

So please send him back to me. And if there's ever a favor I can do for you...

Just let me know.

Just in case you get out and I don't, I'm leaving all my worldly possessions

you.

I don't want your worldly possessions.

You'll get out.

Good.

Then you can leave all your stuff to me.

Do you happen to have a corned beef sandwich on you?

That was an adventure.

I like the lady that rides the horses.

You know, Arnold, I have never seen you eat so much. Yeah,

you ate more penis than the elephant.

Okay, gang, let's all hit the sack.

It's been a very long day, especially for you two guys.

And listen, from now on, don't ever go to that storage room again without

telling someone.

Oh, never again, Dad.

Good night, Dad. Good night. Good night, Dad.

Oh, and hold it. Wait a minute, Dad.

I want to thank you for a wonderful Valentine's Day and for that very

card.

I was really touched.

The touch comes later when we discuss raising our allowance.

Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum.

What might be right for you?

May not be right at all.

For many boys, it's a better beat than a long come to.

They got nothing but the genes, but they got different strokes to take.

Different strokes to take.

Different strokes to move the world. Different strokes to take.

Different strokes to move the world.