Original subtitles

Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum.

What might be right for you may not be right for some.

A man is born, he's a man of needs.

Then along come two, they got nothing but the genes. But they got different

strokes to take, different strokes to take, different strokes to move the

Everybody's got a special kind of story.

Everybody finds a way to shine.

It don't matter that you got not a lot. So what? You'll have yours and I'll have

mine. And together we'll be fine. Different strokes to move the world.

strokes to move the world.

Forty. Forty -four.

Forty and a half.

Forty and three.

men in your shorts.

50. I'll win. I'll beat you again, sucker.

You sure make it easy for me.

I'm gonna beat you yet, James.

You can't beat me at anything.

Oh, yeah?

Can you just go roller skate and eat a taco at the same time?

Well, it's the only thing you can beat me at is losing.

Oh, yeah?

Well, I'm gonna cream you in that father and son contest.

Yeah.

Good luck, you turkey.

Willis, you just bring a mop on Sunday so you don't get the floor slippery with

your tears.

See ya, loser.

Oh, that James sure is a bad winner.

Damn. Say, Willis, I didn't know you were gonna be in that father and son

contest next Sunday.

Neither did I, till I said it.

You sure Dad's gonna wanna do all that?

and jumping and swimming and basketball and lifting weights?

Sure. I guess I better tell them right away.

Yeah, it's nice to have a little warning that you're gonna get a hernia.

Hey, wait up a second. I feel my inner strength calling me.

try it then. Go ahead.

Stand back, Wheatley.

Here comes Mr. Universe.

Hey,

Tiger.

Pumping a little higher?

I'm afraid there's too much iron and not enough pump.

Let me give you a hand.

See, Willis? And you thought I couldn't do it.

Oh, we're doing just fine, Mr. Garrett.

You stay at Kimberly's school just as long as they need you.

Well, tonight we're eating at home.

I'm serving out a pesto, minestrone, and lasagna.

Oh, it's no trouble at all.

I just went in the kitchen, picked up the phone, and called Spaghetti Delight.

Goodbye, Mrs. Gary.

Daddy, where are Wilson and Arnold? They're supposed to be helping.

I guess they're still over at the YMCA.

You know, I think it's great that they're getting into physical fitness.

You know, Arnold's really getting conscious of his physique.

This morning he asked me to measure his chest.

Relaxed, it was 24 inches.

How big was it expanded?

Oh, 24 inches.

I told him it was 42.

Well, you know what he did to me this morning? No, why? He said, me towards a

new elephant.

and tried to ride me out of the room.

You know, I was very body conscious myself when I was a little kid.

As a matter of fact, you probably won't believe this, but I was a 97 -pound

weakling. Oh, I can believe it, Daddy.

Anyway, there was this bully that used to throw sand at my face when I went to

the beach.

So I rode away for one of those muscle -building courses, and I lifted weights

all winter. When summer came, I went back to that beach, and I found that

Oh, and what happened?

She still kicked sand in my face.

Okay, honey.

Just a little muscle mirth there.

Hey, Dad. Hi, guys. Hey, guys. Hey, how you doing, Dad?

Willis has something really terrific to tell you. Oh, yeah? Yeah. There's a big

father and son contest at the Y this Sunday. Yeah. And there's all kinds of

sporting events. And because you're his father and he's your son, he signed you

two up to be in it. He did?

Yeah, go ahead and tell it, Willis.

I think he already got wind of it from some big mouth.

Hey, Dad, will you be in it with me, please? Come on, will you?

Oh. Oh, I think that's a wonderful idea, Willis. We'll be a team. And I'll be a

rooting section.

Give me a D, give me an R, give me a U -M -M, give me an O, give me an N, give

me a big fat D.

Yay, Germans!

I didn't think she could get her big fat D off the ground.

Dad, will you be in a father and son contest with me too someday?

Oh, of course I will, Aunt.

Hey, Willis.

I'll bet you we could use a good coach to help us get in shape. Don't you think

so? Oh, yeah, we sure could.

Maybe Arnold can handle it.

Yeah, I'll be a great coach.

I already got a cap and a whistle, and I can get tough if I have to.

Let me see that again.

All right, you got the job.

All right.

Dad, I really want to win that contest.

Have you done some track events before?

Oh, yeah. In fact, last year at the company picnic, I beat three younger men

three different events. And without exception, they all said the same thing.

Nice going, boss.

Don't worry, Willis. I'm in pretty good shape.

Well, we gotta be in better shape by Sunday.

Yeah, and good ain't good enough.

This is your coach speaking.

Tomorrow, there'll be lots of road work and body work for you two and lots of

yelling work for me. Like hustle, hustle, move it, move it, you deadbeats.

Don't be too hard on us, Arnold. The contest's just for fun, you know.

Yeah. Oh, no.

I gotta win that big trophy and beat that kid James at the Y.

He's always beating me and rubbing it in.

Don't you worry about beating James.

We are going to give it our best shot, Willis.

Remember, it's not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game.

And the secret is to play the game so you win.

Right on, brother.

Right on.

at this cream pie we have for dessert. Oh, that looks delicious.

First rule to remember is no desserts during training. Oh, come on.

Fortunately, that rule doesn't apply to the coach.

I baked it myself.

You baked it? Yeah.

Like I always say, the coach should always set a good example for the team.

No, he made it.

Hey, guys.

Listen.

Next time, let's take the elevator up.

It's too tough jogging up 30 floors.

Arnold did take the elevator.

Well, while I was standing in it, I was thinking jogging.

All right, let's see. We did five miles.

Five miles?

Four of that was driving there.

Well, at least we ran a mile.

Well, we can do better than that. Tomorrow we're going to do two miles.

We're going to?

While me and Dad was jogging, one of that we was riding in a limousine with

chauffeur.

You think it's easy sitting there for an hour listening to white music?

I'm fine. It's just that kink.

How do we un -kink you?

I'm okay.

Listen, we're going to do just fine in that contest tomorrow.

But the most important thing, win or lose, is that we have a lot of fun doing

it. Yeah, and what's more important is to beat that kid, James.

Oh, man, I really want to cream him.

Yeah, we're going to cream him.

And then we'll get that big trophy when we win. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we're going to

win a trophy.

You know, Willis, you'd have a better chance if they had a trophy for speed

sleeping.

You do 20 more and you'll be up to my grandma.

I thought I heard your big mouth.

Big mouth?

Yeah. Why don't you go someplace and look in the mirror and ugly yourself to

death?

Yeah. And we're going to put you and your dad anyway.

Oh, yeah? You haven't seen my dad.

I don't need to see your dad because we're going to cream you.

Cream you straight out.

Hey, let's get going, James.

This is my dad.

Uh,

Willis.

I thought the Incredible Hulk was green.

Dad, this is Willis, the dude I always beat. He thinks he's going to take us in

the contest.

Well, you never know, son.

That's why we've got to keep practicing.

How are you, Willis?

Oh, fine.

And who's this?

Hi.

I'm Arnold, his coach, and his brother on the side.

Well, it's nice meeting you boys.

Hey, James, we better get down to the pool to do our 30 laps so we'll have

to run a few miles before dinner.

30 laps?

Well, it's Wednesday. It's our easy day.

Good luck, boys.

Hey, Phyllis, I bet you got a good chance of winning that other contest.

What other contest?

The one at the YWCA.

Big show -off.

You know what I'd like to put in this locker? A skunk with bad breath.

Oh, man, Arnold.

Do you see the size of James's father?

Man, when they handed out muscles, he got in line twice.

Oh, Mr.

Dean's got muscles, too.

Where?

Well, they don't jump out. actually, they just lay there waiting to be

Yeah, well, yes, they're lying there snoring.

Let's face it, I haven't got a chance to be James.

Oh, look on the bright side.

Maybe his father will fall down a manhole.

You feel fit for one.

Hi, fellas.

Hi, Larry.

Larry, how do you get so big and strong?

You have to take care of yourself.

Eat right, exercise every day, get plenty of sleep, and lead a good, clean

How long you been doing that?

I start tomorrow.

No, seriously, guys. If I had a son, that's the advice I'd give him. Oh,

you, Larry. Okay. Thanks, Larry.

Sure. Oh, man, Arnold, what am I going to do?

Did you see the size of his father?

Did I see him?

This whole room was one big T -shirt.

Oh, my God, too, Arnold.

I just gotta beat that James.

Hey, wait a minute.

Didn't Larry just say he didn't have a son?

So? So he's got one now.

What are you talking about, Willis?

haven't seen feet this red since I went to a winemaking demonstration.

Are you sure you're up to that contest Sunday?

I gotta be. I can't let Willis down.

Well, that's a nice sentiment, but have you discussed it with your feet?

Do you want some wine?

Oh, no. No, I'm finished. I don't want to be the first man to get frostbite in

penthouse.

I wonder if Bruce Jenner started this way.

contest with Arnold.

Arnold, will you just shut up and don't say nothing?

All I'm gonna do is get some cheese.

Cheese? For what?

For you, you rat.

Arnold, will you just get off my case, huh?

I'm tired of losing to James.

Well, what are you gonna tell Dad?

That you traded him for a first -round draft choice?

I don't know.

I'll explain to him so I don't hurt his feelings in my own way.

In other words, you're gonna lie.

Arnold, I don't tell lies.

Well, if you don't, you sure made the truth nervous a few times.

Oh, hi, guys.

Hey, Willis, I'm really getting into shape.

We are gonna whip them good.

I'm raring to go.

Well, Dad, I got something to tell you about the contest.

And I don't think you're gonna like it.

You mean it's canceled?

Yeah, what will is it?

Yeah, that's it. They canceled it.

Oh, that's too bad.

I was just approaching my athletic peak.

Well, maybe next year, Dad.

Hey, I know how you must feel, Willis. You're probably very disappointed.

Yeah, I can't tell you how I feel.

Willis, I'm going to the kitchen.

I'll bring you back that cheese.

Hi, sweetheart.

Hi, Eddie.

Hey, are the boys home yet?

No, they're down at the Y again.

Poor old Willis. He just hasn't been himself since they canceled that

I guess it really meant a lot to him for us to compete as a team.

Come to think of it, Arnold hasn't been himself either. He's down to only eight

snacks a day.

Hey, I got an idea.

Why don't I go down to the Y, pick the guys up, take them out to dinner and a

movie? Just the men, the team and the coach.

Hey, that's male chauvinism.

Yeah. How about that?

Well, that's okay. I was invited to my girlfriend's for dinner anyway.

Oh, good. You'll be all right then. Oh, sure.

Daddy, wouldn't it be nice if Arnold turned into a muscle man?

Well, he's practically a half a world champion muscle man right now.

Huh?

Well, he's got the Arnold. All he's missing is the Schwarzenegger.

Twenty -four.

Twenty -five.

Twenty...

Okay, Willis, that's it.

Okay,

Willis, that's it.

I can do more?

Come on, Willis, take it easy. You're going to sprain your face.

Yeah, I can do it all, Willis.

My son and your muscles are going to retirement.

Blow that whistle in my face again, coach, and you're going to join Woody

on the unemployment line.

Key down, key down, Willis.

You're taking the competition too seriously.

You're uptight.

Relax. Enjoy.

Just do it for fun.

He had a funny biz when I won that big trophy and wiped that smile off James'

face. Okay, champ.

But you're trying too hard.

Just work up a sweat, not a flood.

Okay. I guess I hit the showers.

Okay. See you later.

Is it okay with you if I take a shower, coach?

Don't get mad at me.

That's not my fault. you played a dirty trick on Dad.

Arnold, will you just lay off me?

Let me see you do that again.

I thought that's the way you did it.

But don't get me mad.

A coach isn't supposed to hit a player.

Oh, yeah?

Lucky I heard what I just said or I'd have to punch you.

Listen, Arnold, you're just too young to understand.

not too young to know what a creep is.

Excuse me.

Yeah. I'm looking for two young boys, Willis and Arnold Jackson.

You happen to know where they are?

Yeah.

Hold this for me. I'll get them.

Oh, sure.

They're in the shower.

You, uh, you're pretty good at that.

I gotta keep in shape.

Your friend Willis will give me a bad time.

Why would he do that?

Wants to win that father and son contest so bad.

It's killing him.

May put me away, too.

Father and son contest? Wasn't that canceled?

No. It's still on.

It is?

Yeah. I guess you know Willis doesn't have a father.

So he asked me to be his partner.

Oh.

I see.

How well do you know Willis and his brother?

Not as well as I thought.

Well, it was nice talking to you.

I've got to run two miles around the track.

But do me a favor, will you?

Tell Coach Arnold I ran ten.

See you later.

Here, looking at you, kid.

Hi,

Daddy. Oh, hi.

You know, Daddy, between you and Humphrey Bogart, it has been a very

evening for me.

What happened with you and the boys? Why didn't you take them out?

Oh, I suddenly remembered a business dinner I had.

You didn't tell the boys I went to the Y, did you?

Well, no, you said not to when you phoned.

Good.

Are they asleep?

Yeah, they were really pooped when they got back from the gym.

Good night, honey.

Daddy, are you all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

What a terrible dream I had.

Did they put you on a rack and torture you in your dream?

No. Well, that's what they did to you in my dream.

That was a terrible thing I did to Dad.

You know, I've been a... I don't even know the word.

Well, let me help you. Think.

Pony.

Rat.

Jerk.

I'll take them all.

Well, wait a minute now. I'm just getting warmed up.

I just couldn't go through with it, Arnold.

I couldn't face myself if I did.

I'm telling Dad what happened and dropping out of the contest.

You mean that, Willis?

I mean it.

And you'll tell him the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

I will.

If it was the Bible, would you put your hand on me and swear?

So help me.

Willis? You're the best spink, phony, rag -jerk brother guy ever had.

I thought I heard voices in here.

You two guys okay?

Well, one of us isn't.

He's done something that he's ashamed of. And it ain't the occupant of the top

bunk.

Well, tell me, what is it, Willis?

Dad.

I lied to you.

The father and son contest wasn't canceled.

I got somebody else to be my partner because I thought I'd have a better

of winning.

That's it.

Yep, that covers all the rotten things he did.

Willis, I can't tell you how happy it makes me to hear you say that.

Huh?

Well, I found out today that the contest was still on, and I wasn't going to say

anything because I was too hurt.

I didn't mean to hurt you, Dad.

Honest, I didn't.

I know that, Willis.

You know, you'll never want to do anything with me again.

Oh, of course I will.

I'm your father. I will always be there when you need me.

What am I miserable for?

I didn't do anything rotten.

Larry for shaking my hand and not breaking my head.

No applause, folks.

Just want to thank Arnold for letting me be his assistant coach.

Hey, guys, you did terrific, and I love that trophy.

Yeah, well, even if we came in third place and James won and rubbed it in, I

didn't care, because we had fun, didn't we, Dad? Yeah, that's the whole idea,

son. I tell you, Phil, you were really burning rubber around that track, man.

you took them hurdles like you had bees in your gym shorts.

The only reason I ran that fast is I was trying to beat my Charlie horse to the

finish line.

Hey, if we start training now, we can win that big trophy next year.

Oh. Yeah, come on. Let's do a couple laps around the apartment.

Come on.

You kidding?

The only lap...

They're just one drum. What might be right for you?

May not be right for some. For many, for the needs of many of these.

Then along come two.

They got nothing but the genes.

But they got different strokes of things.

Different strokes of things.

Different strokes of the world.

Different strokes of things.