All language subtitles for diffrent_strokes_s02e05_birds_and_bees

Now the world don't move to the beat of
just one drum. What might be right for

you may not be right for some.

A man is born, he's a man of means.

Then along come two, they got nothing
but the genes. But they got different

strokes to take, different strokes to
take, different strokes to move the

Everybody's got a special kind of story.

Everybody finds a way to shine.

It don't matter that you got not a lot.
So what? Don't have theirs. You'll have

yours and I'll have mine.

And together we'll be fine.

Different strokes to move the world.

Hi,

everybody. Hi.

Hey, where have you been?

I was talking to the Martinos.

Martinos? Yeah, the new neighbors who
moved in down the hall.

Did they have any children?

Yeah, one and a half.

One and a half?

Yeah, there's a girl my age, and Mrs.

Martino's gonna have a baby. Oh, that's
nice.

Yeah, she's way out to here.

I asked how the baby got in there.

You didn't. Yes, I did, but she didn't
tell me, so I guess she didn't know.

That must be it.

Well, did you have a good day at school
today, Willis? I was the pit.

That's nice.

What happened?

Did you get into a fight?

You flunked a test?

Did you lose your cold?

It was the worst day of my life.

I got married.

What do you mean you got married?

Come on, Willis, you can't get married.

Yeah, how are you going to fit a wife in
our bunk bed?

of our social studies class. We're
studying family life and marriage and

that stuff.

Well, that's a relief.

I think a person should wait at least
till they're 15 to get married.

Well, yeah, I heard about those courses,
Willis. Boys and girls pick a husband

and wife out of a hat, right?

I picked mine out of a coffee can.

Well, when I went to school, we learned
about marriage the hard way.

What's the hard way?

Getting married.

class, we pretend to have the real
problems of marriage, like where we're

to live, if the wife will work, or if
we're going to have any children or not.

If I have to get married in junior high
school, I ain't going.

You know, that sounds like an excellent
program, and long overdue.

It's horrible, Mr. D.

And all the guys feel the same way I do.

Well, what about all the girls?

Well, you know how they are. They just
giggle a lot.

Well, let's not put down the girls.

Yeah!

If it wasn't for girls, who would they
get to go into the ladies' room?

Tell us, Willis, who did you marry?

Her name is Charlene Dupre.

Charlene Dupre?

Ain't she the one that's built out the
spare ribs?

Now, come on, Arnold. That's no way to
talk about your history in law.

Well, it ain't my fault she ain't got no
meat on her bones.

Well, I think that's a very...

Of course you're taking Willis. You
know, marriage is a very complicated

relationship. Oh, yes. Too many young
people rush into it without thinking.

Yep. Arnold, stay out of the ninth
grade, because they don't only give you

homework, they give you a wife.

Hello?

Yes, he is.

Just a moment, please.

It's for you, Willis. Okay.

It's for Mrs.

Yes, I'll take it upstairs.

You like that. He ain't been married one
whole day and already she's checking up

on him.

Arnold, just because she's calling him
doesn't mean she's checking up on him.

That's right, Arnold. Maybe she just
wants to talk to him.

Well, if a husband and wife do all the
talking during the day, what is there to

do at night?

That is a very good question, Arnold.

What's the answer?

Johnny Carson.

Hello. Oh, hi, Charlene.

Listen, are you going to start nagging
me already?

What did the teacher say we're supposed
to discuss?

Well, the honeymoon will have to wait
because I'm going roller skating.

Calm down, Charlene.

Willis, I... Just a minute. I'm on the
phone.

Oh, that's all right. You won't bother
me.

Yeah, I'm still here, Charlene.

Well, do we have to discuss about having
children now?

Why, sure, I want to have children
someday.

Well, we should wait.

Okay, I'll give you a reason why.

What if after I drive you to the
hospital, I don't even have a driver's

yet?

I'll call you back, Charlene.

And stop calling me hubby.

That's telling her, hubby.

Listen, Willis.

You've been my big brother for quite a
while now.

Could you tell me something in love with
me?

Why, sure, Arnold. I always do.

Well, how do you make a baby?

Why do you want to know?

Well...

Mrs. Martino is going to have a baby,
and she doesn't know where it came from.

So I figured if I knew, I could tell
her.

Oh, Arnold, you're too young, and I'm
too busy with my homework.

No, I'm not, and no, you're not.

I am now.

Listen, I know why you won't tell me.
You don't know.

That's why you're taking a class on
marriage so you'll find out.

Are you kidding, Arnold?

A man my age... knows it all.

And what I don't know, I can draw a
picture of.

Well, how about spreading some of it
around?

Arnold, you're just not ready for this.

Listen, I'm ready, Coach. I'm ready.

Come on. Tell me how you make a baby.

Well, okay, Arnold. Have a seat.

Yeah. Let's find this thing out.

Here's the way it is.

Well,

Well, you see, Arnold, there are men and
there are women, and they're different.

Well, I know that.

I figured that out the first time I went
to the beach.

Well, see, a man and a woman, they...
Well, you know...

Maybe we ought to start with the birds
and the bees first. Hey, big brother,

none of that birds and bees stuff.

Who do you think I am, a kid?

You're right. The birds and the bees are
for the birds.

I know that a baby comes from inside the
mother. What I want to know is, how

does it get there?

Oh, how does it get there? Right.

Yes.

Has anyone ever told you about the
salmon?

Salmon?

Yeah.

A woman gets a baby from eating a
salmon.

What you talking about, Willis?

Well, you see, Arnold, the mama salmon
has these eggs inside of her. And then

she has to swim upstream.

You didn't tell me Mrs. Martina had to
swim upstream.

Let me finish, Arnold.

Well, you see, when the mama salmon gets
up there, she lays these eggs.

And then the papa salmon fertilizes
them. And that's the whole deal.

You mean...

That's it?

You got it? That's about the way I
figured it.

It's our little secret, so don't tell
the rest of the family I told you. You

did? I did.

Hey, Willis, should I tell Mrs. Martino
how she got the baby?

Oh, no, you better not, Earl.

Yeah, you ought to see her. She's way
out there.

She looks more like she's having a
basketball.

She must have eaten a really big salmon.

I'm hungry.

Yeah.

Hey, what are these?

Patties?

These patties have been hanging around
with some fish.

You're right, Arnold.

They are fish.

They're salmon patties.

I used very little butter when I fried
them.

They're delicious.

Don't eat that, Mrs. Garrett.

Well, what in the world has gotten into
you?

It's not what's gotten into me. It's
what's getting into them.

I think he's freaking out.

That's it.

When Arnold was little, he was once
scared by a salmon patty.

Knock it off, blood.

Arnold, what is all this fuss about
salmon?

When you were little boys, didn't your
mother ever make salmon for you and

Willis? I don't remember.

But now that I think of it, she must
have made it twice.

Hello, I'm Mrs.

Martino. We just moved in.

I'd like to see Arnold's father, please.

Well, you're seeing Arnold's father,
Mrs. Martino.

I'm Mr. Drummond. Oh?

Won't you please sit down? Thank you.

Well, now, what can I do for you?

Well, the first thing you can do is have
a talk with your son, Arnold.

Uh -oh.

What did he do?

He had a chat with my daughter, Tina.

And now that I've met you, I'm a little
surprised.

You seem like an intelligent man.

Well, if that's a compliment, thank you.

What did Arnold say to your little girl?

It's so ridiculous.

But he said that if a woman eats salmon,
she'll have a baby.

Well, that was always my understanding.

I guess that's what they mean by a
pregnant pause.

Mrs.

Martino, obviously Arnold has a
misconception about...

Conception. Mr. Drummond, your casual
attitude probably explains why both your

daughter and your housekeeper are
pregnant.

Mrs. Martino.

Pregnant?

That's what your little boy told Tina.

He did?

I wonder why he'd say... Oh, of course.

Mrs. Garrett and Kimberly ate salmon
last night. No wonder they're pregnant.

Drummond, you can bring up your child
any way you see fit. I don't want my

subjected to foolish misinformation.

Now, look, Mrs. Martino... I didn't come
here to argue. Now, I strongly suggest

that you have a talk with your son and
straighten him out about where babies

come from.

Mr. Martino, I can understand you being
upset.

And I'm going to have that talk with
Arnold.

But just between the two of us, I really
do know where babies come from.

And I also know all about... I wonder.

Hello. Hey, Willis.

This is our new neighbor, Mrs. Martino,
my son Willis.

How are you? Hello.

Hello. I've had it with my wife.

Congratulations. He's hoping for twins.

I don't believe this.

I ought to get a divorce.

I can't believe this is happening on
Park Avenue.

No, no, no, no, no. You don't
understand, Mrs. Martino. You see,

really married. What?

I don't want to hear another word.

Oh, I beg your pardon.

Mrs. Martino, this is my housekeeper,
Mrs. Garrett.

Oh, Mrs. Martino.

Sorry I bumped into you in your
condition.

My condition?

And what, may I ask, is my condition?

She thinks you're pregnant.

Pregnant?

Well, I did just smile at the butcher.
Do you think I could do it?

Let me help you. Thanks.

Arnold told Mrs.

Martino's daughter, Tina, that if women
eat salmon, they get pregnant.

Isn't that ridiculous?

Well, I think it's time for a facts of
life talk with Arnold.

The problem is, how do you tell a kid
that age about sex?

Very carefully.

Didn't your father tell you all about
sex?

Oh, yes, he did.

I was 11 years old.

He came into my room. He shut the door.

He said, Philip, sit down.

I sat down.

He said, Philip, there are boys and
there are girls.

And they're different.

That's all he said.

He never mentioned it again until I came
back from my honeymoon.

And then I told him.

I said, Dad, you got it right.

I just hope I remember it right when I
go to tell Arnold.

Mr. Dropman, you must be worn out from
all that reading.

How about a little sustenance?

Oh, thank you. I'm just trying to decide
on the right approach to this little

talk I'm going to have with Arnold.

According to some of these experts, if
the introduction to sex is handled

improperly, you can scar a child for
life.

Oh, you'll do just fine.

Animated sex?

Hmm.

That book explains it all in cartoons.

Oh.

Look at that cute little fella with the
funny face and tail. Looks like a fish

swimming.

That is Sammy Spramatozoa.

Really?

That must be Olga Obum.

I still think this is the best approach
to the physiology of sex.

A good, no -nonsense presentation of the
facts.

Hey, everybody.

Hey, here is the young man I have been
wanting to see.

Well, excuse me, I have a few things to
do. Excuse me. Hey, wait, Mrs. Garrett.

Don't overwork yourself.

And if you get a sudden urge for pickles
and ice cream, don't be surprised.

Thanks for your advice, Dr. Spock.

Any of the one on Star Trek with the
pointed ears?

Listen, Arnold, I would like to have a
little chat with you.

Sure, what about?

Well, about this notion of yours.

that a woman can have a baby by eating
salmon.

Willis told you?

He told me to keep it a secret, and he
says I'm a blabbermouth.

Well, the point is, it's all wrong.

That's not where a baby comes from.

Is it?

Has Willis got the wrong fish?

Arnold, I think it's time you knew the
why and wherefore of sex.

Just don't leave out the how.

Now, I know that you know that males and
females are different.

But what you may not know is this.

Inside the male and female reproductive
organs are certain glands called gonads.

Okay?

You're following me?

I'm all ears.

Good.

Now, in the female, the gonads contain
eggs.

Right.

And in the male, they contain
spermatozoa.

Yeah. Now we're coming to the part that
you asked about.

Yeah, the how.

The how.

Now, when the male spermatozoa reaches
the female eggs, an egg is fertilized.

And at that very moment, the life of a
baby begins.

Isn't that wonderful?

And it grows inside the mother for nine
months.

Nine months.

That is called gestation.

And then the baby is born.

That's about it.

Any questions, Arnold?

No.

I think that'll keep me going until
college.

Thank you very much.

You're welcome. I want you to feel free
to come to me anytime you have any

questions. Thank you. And now that I
know everything about sex, feel free to

come to me, too.

Oh, hi, Charlene.

Yep, I know we gotta name the baby.

I don't care if he's your favorite TV
star.

We ain't naming it Eric Estrada Jackson.

Willis, I gotta talk to you. It's
important.

I got any mercy here, Charlene.

I'll call you back.

And stop calling me hubby.

Willis, sit down.

What? Just sit down.

What is it?

sit me down and have these big brother
talks and give it to me straight, right?

Right. Well, from now on, forget it. You
don't know nothing.

What do you mean?

I mean, Willis, next to you, a dodo bird
looks smart.

Now, wait a minute. Having babies has
got nothing to do with salmon.

It's time you knew the real way it
works, and I'm gonna lay it on you.

I can't wait to hear this.

The ladies is called eggs, and the man's
is...

And he got out of a book that thick, so
it must be right.

Okay, Arnold.

Sit. Again?

Well, I'm going to give it to you
straight.

When I was a little kid, Papa told me
how it works between a man and a woman.

See? Yeah, uh -huh.

And he looked at me a real long time,
and he said, there's a time where it's

soon to pick a tomato, and there's a
time when it's too late to pick a

And there's a time where it's just
right.

Yeah?

Little brother, I think your tomato
-picking time has come.

You see, Arnold, men and women are built
differently.

And it takes both of them to make a
baby.

And it takes a lot of love and caring
about each other. So that's why Arnold

didn't want to feed the salmon. I think
that's so cute.

Well, Mrs. Martino didn't think so.

Uh, Mr. Drummond, I gotta have a little
rap session with you. It's important.

What is it, Arnold?

Well, uh, it's private.

Could you step over here, please?

Sure.

Right over here.

Okay.

Now, what do you want to rap about?

About babies.

Haven't we already rapped about that?

Yeah, but we gotta rap about that rap.

Now, see, I love you.

Well, I love you, too.

So I don't want you to go around making
a fool of yourself.

Well, what do you mean?

What I mean is, if you tell anybody else
what you told me about making babies,

they'll die laughing.

Who have you been talking to?

Well, and he told it to me like it
really is. And I think, Mr. D., you

find out, too.

Thank you. I'm all ears.

Now, see, when a man and a woman want to
have a baby, there's got to be a lot of

love and caring involved.

And what they do is...

Willis

told you that?

Not only that, but... He

told you that, too?

Well, listen, I'm glad he told you that,
Arnold. Wait, there's more.

Told it?

I don't know whether I want to hear any
more.

You've got to find out sooner or later.

Your tomato is way overripe.

Willis, I want to congratulate you. What
for?

Everything that you told Arnold.

Why, congratulate him.

I was the one that filled you in.

Well, that's true, Arnold.

But Willis handled this much better than
I did.

He was very straightforward, and he came
right to the point.

I tried to hide behind some big
technical book.

Well, Arnold, now you know all there is
to know.

And if that's the way sex is, I'm going
to stick to my electric trains.

Well, Arnold, when you're a little
older, you're going to be chasing the

And when you're a lot older, you'll go
back to your train.

How old is that?

I don't know.

I never met a man that old.

Well, Willis, it's nice to see you happy
again. Everything okay with you and

Charlene? Yep. I called her back and I
decided to stick with it and make the

marriage work.

Good for you.

Well, Willis, what changed your mind?
You were going to get a divorce.

Well, Charlene said she named the baby
Willis Jackson Jr.

range that she can only have one baby?

I'm doing the kitchen.

And I'm gonna help her.

Oh, I gotta do my homework.

Me too.

Now the world don't move to the beat of
just one drum. What might be right for

you? May not be right for some.

But many born needs a man of ease.

Then along come two.

They got nothing but the genes.

But they got different strokes to take.

Different strokes to take. Different
strokes to do the work. Different

to do the work.