Original subtitles

Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for

you may not be right for some.

A man is born, he's a man of means.

Then along come two, they got nothing but the genes.

But they got different strokes to take, different strokes to take, different

strokes to move the world.

Everybody's got a special kind of story.

Everybody finds a way to shine.

It don't matter that you got not a lot. So what? I'll have theirs, you'll have

yours, and I'll have mine.

And together we'll be fine. Different strokes to move the world. Different

strokes to move the world.

Since Miss Gary started night school, she does more homework than me.

A kindergarten dropout does more homework than you.

So, Mrs. Garrett, how does it feel to be back in school after all these years?

Nothing's changed.

Last night, the fellow across the room hit me with a pitfall.

Only this time, he was 72 years old.

Some of those older delinquents are really good shots.

Okay, gang, here are your flaps, Jack.

And in between flaps, I'm going to try to finish my term paper.

I don't see why anyone would want to go to school when they don't have to.

Oh, I love my self -awareness class. I'm broadening my horizons and expanding my

consciousness.

See, Arnold, you have to understand that some people want to keep learning all

of their lives.

Well, isn't that dangerous for your head?

You get too many facts in there, they start falling out of your ears.

Drum and red, then.

Oh, Leon, what a nice surprise.

I haven't spoken to you since after school Wednesday.

Sounds like Mrs. Garrett's got a little extracurricular activity.

Sounds like Mrs. Garrett's got a boyfriend.

No wonder she likes school so much.

Leon,

you're so funny.

What? Tonight?

I'd love to.

She'd love to what?

Have dinner. Have dinner.

Oh, Leon, you say the sweetest thing.

Okay. Seven o 'clock tonight. Bye.

Leon, take me out to dinner tonight. I better get ready.

But you have all day, Mrs. Garrett.

Ten hours?

I'll just about make it.

See, there's so much to do. I got to go to the cleaners and get my dress, do my

hair, glue on my new nails.

Man, let me glue on nails, paste on eyelashes, pick on wigs.

When I get married, I hope my wife don't come out in no kit.

very chauvinistic, Arnold.

I have a feeling I'd get mad if I knew what that meant.

It means, Arnold, that men think that they're better than women.

Right, Mr. Drummond? Right.

Only now we're not allowed to say it.

Daddy. Mr.

Drummond. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Come on, girls. Where's your superior sense

of humor?

Mr. Garrett, how serious is it between you and this dude, Leland?

Arnold, you don't ask a person a direct question like that.

As long as he did, how serious is it?

Diamond, it's not serious at all.

Leon and I are just casual friends.

Then how come you won't use your old nails?

Daddy, what time is it?

It's nearly 7 o 'clock. Why?

Because Leon is going to pick Mrs. Garrett up at 7 o 'clock.

Then we're going to check him out at 7 .01.

Mrs. Garrett doesn't want you kids hanging around when Leon gets here. No,

you'll all be upstairs.

Well, can we take the telescope?

We only want to see him, Daddy.

Yeah, we just want to meet him, not mug him.

Arnold, there will be no snooping on Mrs. Garrett.

Well, okay, I'll hide behind the couch.

But we don't want to embarrass her.

She's entitled to her privacy.

Then let's all hide behind the couch.

Hi, guys.

Oh, Mrs. Garrett. Do I look all right?

A pretty girl is like a melody.

You look fantastic, Miss Garrett.

What a pretty dress.

Dig that foxy lady.

Very sweet of you, but tell me the truth.

Do you really like my dress?

Well, I wouldn't wear it myself, but on you it is sheer poetry.

Good. All right. What about my hair? What do you think?

Perfect? Your hair is gorgeous.

You're not just saying that. This is my own, but I got three other colors in my

closet.

Well, what about blind?

They're supposed to have more fun.

Hmm. You don't see Lola Falana sitting home and crying.

Well, then you really think I look okay? We really do.

You look lovely. What are you so nervous about?

Well, I've had several coffees with Leon after school, but this was different.

This is dinner.

Yeah. And a guy expects a lot more when he pays for a whole dinner.

Yes? Oh, Leon. Right. Be right down.

Leon's downstairs with a cab. Kimberly, could I have my straw, please?

You mean we're not going to get to meet him?

Well, how about when you get back?

Oh, that'll be much too late for you kids.

Well, what time are you planning on getting back?

Oh, about 11, 12 o 'clock.

Could you come home sooner?

I hate meeting people when I'm asleep.

Well, I'll be seeing you in the morning, kids.

Bye. Bye.

Bye. Have a good time.

11 or 12 o 'clock?

Isn't that sort of late if you're just going out for dinner? I mean, once

eaten, what is there to do?

Well, they'll have a little talk and then maybe take a walk and talk a little

more.

Stuff like that, Arnold.

Stuff like what?

Let me put it this way, Arnold.

A man and a woman can always find something to do.

Get it, Arnold?

No.

Willis?

Willis?

You asleep, Willis?

I wasn't until the eyeball freak woke me up.

Well, I'm sorry, but it's almost midnight.

Happy New Year.

Come on, Willis.

Let's get her to be home soon. Let's go see what her new boyfriend looks like.

I don't know. We tried that at 11 o 'clock.

And Mr. Dremel sent us and Kimberly right back to our rooms.

That's because last time I gave him a bad excuse.

Everybody knows there's no such thing as monsters under the bed, right?

Right.

Arnold, what are you doing?

Just double -checking.

Hey, guys, it's almost midnight.

You want to try again?

Come on, Willard. It's two to one. You against me and Bionic Head.

Turn the TV set off.

Hey,

where did you kids come from?

Hey, I thought I told you to go to bed.

Well, yeah, but we couldn't sleep with all those loud noises.

What loud noises?

I'm so hungry, and my stomach was growling, and they kept me awake.

Yeah, and they kept me awake, too. I even heard it in my room.

Do you expect me to believe that?

It'd help a lot if you did.

And, um, what are you doing up, Daddy?

Oh, well, I was just watching television.

Come on, Mr.

Drummond. You just ain't as immediately on as we are.

No, no, I'm not. I just fell asleep.

Okay, gang.

Let's go to bed.

This is Garrett's home. Okay? Now, you've stayed up this late. You can meet

Leon. Then we'll all go upstairs and give them their privacy. Right? Right.

I had a wonderful time, Leon.

So did I, Edna. It was an unforgettable evening.

For me, too.

Why'd you stop talking? Are they making out?

Arnold, cool it.

Tell that to Edna.

Leon. Good night, Edna.

Well,

I wasn't expecting a reception committee.

Oh, I was just watching television.

And I was telling them to change the channel. And Willis and I were... Okay,

kids. Confess.

They were waiting up to meet Leon.

Well, honey, we had a long dinner.

Six hours?

We lingered over dessert.

Dang lingering, that's laudering.

Oh, and after dinner, you won't believe what we did.

Neither of us ever did anything like it before.

We passed this disco place and decided to peek in. And before we knew it, we

down and boogied.

Step aside and watch her glass.

Probably some neighbor wanting to cut in.

Oh, Leon.

I'm back.

Come in.

You dropped this earring.

I wouldn't want you running around with a naked earlobe.

Oh, I must have dropped it when we were getting out of the cab.

Oh, yeah, getting out of the cab.

Oh, Leon, I'd like you to meet my family.

This is Mr.

Drummond. How are you, Leon? I do.

And Kimberly, Arnold, Willis. Hi. Hi.

Sorry to barge in so late. Oh, that's all right.

Well, it's late, and my meter's running.

I mean, the taxi's meter.

So, good night.

Good night.

Bye. Good night,

Edna.

Good night, Leon.

My meter's running, too.

Oh, I think I'll go to bed now.

Good times, these are the good times.

Leave worry behind.

Daddy,

are you as surprised as I am?

Well... Leon didn't look exactly the way I thought he would.

He's kind of young for Mrs. Garrett.

Yeah, she won't know whether to kiss him or burp him.

Man, I can't get over how young Mrs. Garrett's boyfriend is. Me either. I was

expecting somebody close to her age, not mine.

Now, come on, guys. That's Mrs. Garrett's business.

Right, and I think it's perfectly okay. for women to go out with younger men.

Well, who are you dating next week, a seven -year -old?

Good morning, everyone.

Good morning.

Would you please, please forgive me? Oh, sure. I overslept.

Last night, I forgot to wind the clock.

I don't know about your clock, but the rest of you were sure wound up.

All right, I know what you're thinking.

Leon's too young for me.

what's going on around here.

Well, we weren't really talking about how young he was.

We were talking about how old he wasn't.

Well, how old isn't he?

He's 34, and he's a wonderful man.

And when we're together, we don't think about age.

Well, if Leon makes you happy, that makes us happy. Right. Yes.

And I'd be a lot happier if we'd get off Leon and on to some ham and eggs.

You got it, Arnold.

Just as soon as I am. for the door.

Gee, that really changed her life.

What did?

Dinner with Leon.

Maybe you can answer that with a J.

Leon, what are you doing here? I wasn't expecting

you. Can I come in? Oh, sure. Come in.

It's nice to see you again, Edna.

You too, Leon.

Oh.

Oh, I must look terrible.

Oh, no, Edna. To me, you look lovely in anything.

Oh, Leon, I don't.

Do I?

I'm sorry. I should have called first, but I've been up all night thinking

this. I've got something to ask you, and I couldn't wait. It's too important.

Well, what is it, Leon?

I don't know how to say it.

See, I want to ask you to marry me, but I just don't know... I just said it.

Don't answer now.

Think about it and take all the time you want.

I'll be back in five minutes for your answer.

Edna, I love you.

Yes, he just asked me to marry him.

What'd you talk about, Mrs. Garrett?

I said he just asked me to marry him. Toast, anybody?

Man,

that Leon is quiet, but he is fast.

He's like me.

The strong, silent type.

The only thing that's strong and silent about you is your gym socks.

He just came to the door, asked me, and left.

That's right. All he did was ring your bell.

He sure did.

Oh, I don't know.

It's all so sudden.

He said he's going to come back in five minutes for my answer.

Well, he didn't give you very much time to make a decision.

Oh, Mrs. Garrett, this is so romantic, just like a movie.

Oh, would you kids mind taking a little intermission?

What do you mean?

What she means is, Donald, the conversation's going to be X -rated.

How am I going to learn what I'm not supposed to hear if I don't hear it?

Wait a minute.

Come on.

I'm going to hear this.

Maybe I can know.

What's up?

Oh, Mr.

Drummond, if you don't mind, I need to discuss this with you.

Well, if I can help, I'd be very happy to.

Thanks.

When I'm with Leon, he makes me feel so young.

So romantic, so happy in a way I haven't felt in many, many years.

But it does concern me, this difference in our ages.

Yes, there seems to be quite a difference. You didn't have to agree so

Anyway, the difference in age may not seem important to you now, but years

now, when he's 50, you'll be... Older than 50.

But if there are a lot of happy years in between, it would be worth it, wouldn't

it? Yeah, I suppose so, if that's what's important to you.

Does that mean you're going to marry him?

Oh, I don't know.

It's a toss -up between my head and my heart, and my heart's leading by half a

length.

Well, I'm sure you'll do the right thing, in the stretch.

Mr. Drummond.

Well, I better change.

Thanks, Mr. Drummond. Good luck.

Thanks. You know something? If Mrs. Garrett gets married, she's probably

to leave us.

Maybe not.

Maybe Leanne will move in here and become our butler.

If they get married, they're going to have their own apartment.

Oh.

The best we can do is go over there for meals.

Well, Daddy, what'd she say?

Well, kids, Mrs. Garrett's a little undecided right now. She's not sure what

do. Well, then let's train her up.

We love her and we can't let her get married.

Well, Arnold, because we love her, we have to let her do what she thinks is

for her.

Oh, hello, Mr. Drummond. Hi, Leon. Come in.

Oh.

Is that for me?

Gee,

no. But if I'd known that you... Oh, that was a joke.

Apparently not.

Have a seat.

I think you know my family. Yes. Hi.

Well, yes. I love her very much.

We all do.

Marriage is a big step. Are you up to it?

Arnold, behave yourself.

I'm sorry, Leon. It's all right.

What line of work are you in?

I'm an accountant.

How much do you make?

Arnold, that is none of your business.

But what if he can't support Mrs. Garrett in the style she's accustomed

Pet houses are expensive.

That is enough, Arnold.

But... Arnold, you heard what Daddy said.

One more word out of you and your mom's gonna get the other end in trouble.

Sorry to keep you waiting, Leon.

Oh, that's all right, Edna. Okay, kids, let's go.

Wait a minute, I got some more questions. Where are you going? I ain't

talked about the honeymoon yet.

You look lovely, Edna.

Did I say that before?

Yes, but who's counting?

This is for you.

Thank you, Leon.

Does it look like it was on sale?

No. Oh, it was.

Oh, but I'd have bought it anyway.

I love your honesty, Leon.

It's part of your charm. That's what my mother always says. Really? Well, she's

right. So we sit down.

Oh, we can sit on the floor. Oh, no, no.

This is fine.

Boy, you sure surprised... me before.

I guess you must have thought I was crazy.

But I just know that marrying you is the best thing that could ever happen to

me. I had such a wonderful time last night. So did I, Leon.

But marriage is a big step.

I'd take more time buying a Thanksgiving turkey.

No offense.

Oh, don't be silly. I love turkey.

You see how much we have in common?

Sure, but you can't base a marriage on a drumstick.

Well, it's not just the drumstick, Edna.

It's the stuffing and the cranberries and the sweet potatoes and the giblets.

It's the whole enchilada.

Oh, Leon.

I need more time.

You see, I tried marriage once, and it was a disaster.

Well, how bad could it have been?

We used to refer to our relationship as the Poseidon Adventure.

It could never be that way with us, Edna.

We'll have a terrific life together.

Oh, and wait till you meet Mother. I know she'll adore you. Oh, I'm sure that

I'll like her, too.

Oh, and don't worry. We won't live with her.

Live with who?

Mother. As soon as you say yes, I'll move out.

You mean you still live with your mother?

Oh, yes.

Oh, she's a marvelous person. She does everything for me. Cooks, cleans, irons

my shirt.

But mother will have to realize that'll have to stop.

Soon there'll be someone else to take care of me.

Yeah, you.

You and my mother are a lot alike, Edna.

I'm beginning to see that.

You remind me so much of her.

Except you're not possessive like she is.

I wanted to move out for a long time.

Why didn't you?

She wouldn't let me.

Look, Leon.

You're a very nice young man.

I like you. We have a lot of fun together.

But marriage just wouldn't work for us.

Why?

Because I don't do mother.

What do you mean?

I mean that when two people marry, it should be for the right reason.

I don't understand.

I hope one day you will.

We can still be friends.

Well, I guess I'll be going.

I, uh...

I'd like to keep this if I may.

Oh, I'd like you to.

Will you still help me with my homework?

Sure, Leon.

Goodbye, Edna.

to say yes? She could say no.

And she says maybe we'll never get to eat.

Okay, cool it, kids.

Thanks, kids.

I'll finish up now.

What happened? Did you say yes?

Are we getting married, aren't we?

Hold it, gang, hold it. Now give Mrs. Garrett a chance.

Maybe she doesn't feel like talking about it right now.

Well, what happened?

I'm not getting married, but it sure was nice being asked.

Well, I'm sure you made the right decision.

You okay?

Oh, fine.

Thanks. How come you decided not to get married, Mrs. Garrett?

Well, if I tell you, will you promise not to let it out of this house? Yeah.

He was too old for me.

Don't feel bad, Mrs. Garrett.

If you still like younger men, you've got me.

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