Original subtitles

Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for

you may not be right for some. A man is born, he's a man of means.

Then along come two, they got nothing but the genes. But they got different

strokes to take, different strokes to take, different strokes to move the

Everybody's got a special kind of story.

Everybody finds a way to shine.

It don't matter that you got not a lot.

So what? I'll have theirs, you'll have yours, and I'll have mine.

And together we'll be fine. Different strokes to move the world. Different

strokes to move the world.

Hey,

Ruthie, you don't have to carry Arnold's stuff. Oh, it's okay.

He's Western women.

Well, partner, we know how to treat our menfolk, especially when they're short,

dark, and handsome.

Well, some got it and some don't.

Well, this is it, guys.

Hey, Arnold, get a load of the sign.

Right. I made it myself.

You guys hungry?

We've got ice cream, cake, donuts, pie, and frozen pizza.

I do the shopping.

I think I'm falling in love.

You know,

I think it's really neat that your dad bought the radio station.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

That nothing sure looked like something.

Even when it says something, it means nothing.

Hey, nice place.

Very nice.

Well, remember, Phil, I told you it wasn't exactly Buckingham Palace. We

change the guards every few hours.

Well, we change the teeth every few weeks.

Only a first -person guest.

It looks very, uh, comfortable.

Really. I love it. It's got a kitchen right in the living room.

I know.

Great thing with a famous radio celebrity.

Well, I wouldn't say famous exactly.

Well -known, maybe. Popular. Highly thought of. One of the top ten.

You may be right, Arnold.

Listen, you guys are going to have to come down tomorrow and watch my show.

Greg!

Maybe Dad will let you say something on the air.

No kidding.

Could we do it tonight?

Tomorrow may be too late.

Boys, you better get ready for bed.

Okay. Where's the guest room?

Oh, it's in Los Angeles.

My mom got it.

Uh, no problem.

Uh, Phil, you can have the girls' room.

It may be a little too feminine for you, but if you get hungry in the night,

Ruthie hides a salami in her nightstand.

And we can sleep out here on the floor in sleeping bags. Hey, great.

Let's go put your stuff away. Yeah.

Oh, man.

Three in a room.

Three more and I'll be just like the old days in Ireland.

All right, have fun, pal.

How about a beer?

Sure.

You know, your dad's a real nice guy, Ruthie. He sure is.

Well, so is yours.

You know, I think it's really neat that after all these years the radio station

brought them back together again.

You did it again.

Did what?

You looked at each other.

There's something going on.

You know a secret? No, we don't.

I don't care if you do. If you don't want to tell me, I don't want to hear

Okay.

What is it?

You women sure are nosy.

Okay, okay, forget it.

Want some candy?

Yeah. Forget it.

Uh -oh, she's getting tough, Liz.

Maybe you better tell her.

Girl can't keep secrets.

Aw, he ain't like a girl. He's more like a tall, pale buddy.

Okay, if we tell you the secret, you gotta take a blood breath of oath not to

tell. You got a sharp pen or a needle?

What for?

We cut our thumb so the blood spurts out, and then we rub them together.

Our tall, pale buddy just got paler.

You're gonna cut my thumb, and then you're gonna cut your thumb?

I kinda have, Willis.

Can't we just dip our thumbs in ketchup and take an oath?

Forget the thumbs.

Raise your right hand and repeat after me.

If I ever tell a secret, may a lizard eat my gizzard.

If I ever... Stand up.

If I ever tell the secret, may a lizard eat my gizzard. And come back for

seconds.

Come back in a second.

Okay.

Mr. D is going to turn your dad's station into an automat.

Automate, dummy.

Whichever way, your dad's going to lose his job.

Dad's going to lose his show?

Mr. Drummond wouldn't do a thing like that to my father.

Would he?

Hey, you remember the way we met, Lieutenant?

Sure.

You were hanging over the rail of a troop ship being sick.

I didn't know what else to do, so I ordered you to stop.

Yep, I stopped and you started.

Oh, boy.

How are things going now for you, Larry?

Happy. Very happy.

The divorce was tough, but I have the girls with me and a whole new life up

here. Phil, I love it.

I just love it.

Uh -huh.

Larry, let me tell you about some of the problems I have with my business.

See, my company is a high -leverage operation.

We have to move fast, and sometimes very aggressively.

But once we get the P &L in line, my board of directors is able to ascertain

viability of the projected profit factor.

Phil, I have a problem with that.

What's that?

I don't know what the hell you're talking about.

Quite simply, Lair, I came out of this... Oh, I'm sorry I interrupted.

No, no, no, no, no, that's fine, Ruthie. I want to get settled anyway, but I do

want to get back to this subject.

Well, I told myself, Lair, under the banner and straight back.

What did you want, honey?

Dad, what would you do if someone told you a secret, and that secret was about

someone who should be told?

but you swore not to tell because the someone who told you told you not to

So you can't tell, but you want to tell, even though you said that you wouldn't

tell and Olivia could eat your gizzard.

Honey,

you could get a ticket for Jay talking.

Yeah, hon.

Okay, okay.

Now, I gather that you've got this big secret that's just burning to get loose.

But, honey, if you swore never to tell that secret, then under no circumstances

should you ever, ever... Tell that secret to anyone.

It's about you.

Unless it's your father.

No.

I better not.

It'd wreck your life.

Ruthie.

Okay.

Mr. Drummond's gonna get rid of your show.

What? We should have known better, Arnold.

I'm sorry, guys, but my father's my dad.

Well, I certainly hope so.

Dad, they're gonna automate things.

Automate? Now, just wait a minute. Sit down, please, guys.

Now, look, you've gotten something mixed up. What did they do, Larry?

Hey, you guys been misbehaving?

Yeah, and we didn't want to tell her, Mr. D. She dragged it out of us.

Goodbye, Gizzard.

Dragged what out of you?

Look, Phil, somehow the kids got the silly idea that you're going to automate

the station and throw me out of a job.

Oh.

Uh, Phil, where would they get that kind of an idea?

Well, I've been meaning to get back to that. I'm glad you brought it up, Larry.

You mean it's true?

Oh, now, look, old buddy.

Oh, wait a minute. Hold the old buddy.

You're gonna automate the station with a bunch of prerecorded tapes and dump my

show, and I gotta hear about it from the little rascals?

You gotta understand the way business works, Larry.

It's nothing personal.

Nothing personal?

You're talking to the man who saved your life in the army.

You never saved my life.

Tokyo, Masaya Matsumura.

Oh, her. Oh, yes.

Well, back to business.

Now, you have to remember, I am only one of the board of directors.

Yeah, he's the chairman.

Larry, I am also a friend.

So was Brutus before he stabbed Caesar.

You got muggers in Portland, too?

Larry, I am not stabbing you in the back.

How would you like to be station manager?

I'm not a station manager. I'm a talk show host, and I'm a darn good one.

I mean, look, if your company doesn't want me, there are plenty of other

that do.

Just yesterday, he got an offer from Bearclaw, Montana.

Thank you, Ruthie.

Listen, radio stations are being automated all over the country.

I know that.

Just like hamburgers and fried chicken.

You can go anywhere.

They taste the same, look the same. No point in cluttering up the country with

personal touches, old buddy.

Now, wait a minute, Larry.

There are two sides to being old buddies.

I came out here to help you.

Hey, Phil, I appreciate that.

I mean, you could have sent a stranger out here to cut my head off, but you

out to do it personally.

That was not kind.

You know, you've really changed.

You were always unreasonable, but you used to be nice about it.

Well, you sure haven't changed. You're still welching on a $4 bet.

Okay, okay, okay. Here's your $4.

Can you change $100?

You don't think I can, do you?

$20? $40?

60, 65, 66, 67.

6714.

I'll go get my piggy bank. It's got a zillion pennies in it.

Never mind. I'll write you a check.

Oh, no. You're going to take the change. Honey, go get me your zillion pennies.

Forget it.

I'm going to my room.

The one with the pink plastic hangers.

Well, you go right ahead, pal.

I saved the wooden ones for welcome guests. Well, I must be welcome, because

got a wooden pillow.

Well, if you want feathers, go pluck a duck.

Dad actually said, go pluck a duck, since Mom told him to go milk a moon.

Time for one quick call. Who's this?

This is Lila.

Larry, I just don't understand inflation.

What are we going to do about the cost of food?

Well, honey, you can do what I do. I take the family to the market and we

up a shopping cart.

Then we zip right into the express line and eat as fast as we can till we get

down to ten items.

I gotta go, honey. Thanks for the call. I love you. I love you too, Larry. Bye

-bye. Bye.

This is Larry Alder. I'll be right back after the news.

Now hit this button and the newsroom takes over.

Ah, you're doing great, Arnold.

Thank you. Hey, would you like to be an engineer like me when you grow up? Sure,

but I don't think I could grow up that much.

Ruthie, your dad has a good show.

Yeah.

Yesterday, he was a happy man.

Today, he's an endangered species.

I planted better work, guys.

Uh, Ruthie, do you want to take the boys into the booth? As soon as the news is

over, I'm going to introduce you guys on air.

Arnold, you're not nervous, are you?

Oh, no, me nervous?

Attaboy. Now, just remember, even though you'll be talking to a half a million

people, they're gonna love you.

Half a million people?

I gotta go to the bathroom.

Hurry up.

Come on, Willoughby.

Earl, have you seen Mr. Drummond? Our lady producer's taking him around the

station.

Larry, she'd do anything to save this station, right down to marrying a

millionaire. And I'd be the best man.

Yeah, you find another job. That won't be too tough. I just wish old Gotbucks

would have stuck around long enough to watch the show.

Of course, the farm report is done in Studio A.

You've seen my office. And, oh, when you see Larry's fan mail. Earl, show Mr.

Drummond the fan mail. Fan mail.

Fan mail.

It's on the floor.

By your feet, if you can find them.

Father, that's okay. I'm sure Larry has an audience.

Anyway, thanks for showing me around, Miss Winslow. It was very nice to be

someone pleasant.

You're wasting your time, Morgan. The man has a heart problem.

They can't find it.

You are not being fair, Larry. Mr. Drummond is a very human gentleman.

Human and warm and brilliant and charming.

You have the softest eyebrows.

Morgan, give up. You're no good at it.

Oh, yes, she is.

20 seconds left.

Hey, where have you been?

Checking the facilities.

Okay,

hop up here, pal. There you go.

Now, don't be nervous. All you have to do is say hello.

Hello, Mrs. Gad. Hello, Kimberly.

Uh, pal, we're not on the air yet.

I'll tell you what. You get up here and watch Earl, okay?

The number is 555 -3567.

Now, before we take any calls, I want to introduce three very special guests.

My daughter, Ruthie, and two visiting VIPs from New York, Arnold and Willis

Jackson.

Willis, how are you enjoying Portland?

I was until you and Mr. D started fighting.

Yeah, can't you be friends?

Oh, thank you, boys. Thank you.

Ruthie, would you like to say a word or two at most?

Dad. Arnold and I would like to read a poem that we've written. Poem? There go

the ratings.

I'd like to hear it.

On the other hand, it might be kind of cute.

This poem is dedicated to Mr.

Drummond and Mr. Alder, the dudes who were fighting.

What is a friend?

If your friend is buying some soda and you don't have money to spend, who'll

you lick his glass when he's done?

A friend.

When you come inside from the rain and you get the carpet all muddy, who is the

one that you can blame it on?

Your buddy.

When you flunk test and spelling and your teacher says you're dumb, who makes

you feel good by being dumber? Your dumb chum.

To Dad and Mr. Drummond, we hope you're fighting in and you can be just like

your kids.

Your friend.

The copy's a dollar a piece.

Diane? Yeah, what is it?

Oh, I need a bath towel.

We're out of bath towels, Kim. Is a face towel okay?

Sure, I'll take anything that doesn't have Arnold's little fingerprints all

it.

Oh, hi, Kimberly.

Mr. Alder.

Hi, Diane.

Hi, Chad.

What are you guys doing home? I thought you were at Janet's house.

Oh, we were, but she came down with the mumps.

The mumps?

I just kissed you.

Honey, don't ever kiss your father when somebody on this planet has come down

with a mumps.

Sorry, Dad.

Hi, Mr. Drummond. Hi, Diane.

Hi, guys. Hi.

I'm going into change.

How about a beer? Okay. I don't drink while I'm driving.

Then I'll take Arnold's beer.

Okay, guys.

Let's finish this puzzle. Yeah, right.

Well, that was quite a poem the kids wrote, wasn't it?

Yeah, it sure was.

Doesn't change anything, though.

No. We both know that you can't use emotions when you're making important

business decisions.

Right. Sure is nice to see them friends again. Yeah.

See, what I was trying to tell you, Larry, is that our think tank

that we automate your station. Now, I couldn't reject out of hand that

Uh, Phil... Naturally, as chairman of the board, I have a certain fiduciary

responsibility to my stockholders. Uh, Phil, could we just skip the corporate

fiduciary ding -dong posture?

Now, look, we're friends, and we will always be friends. So you just do what

have to do to keep the business going, okay, pal?

I fully intend to.

Now, there are some times in the corporate world...

A rule is bent.

Now, wait a minute. I don't want you bending any rules for me just because

kids wrote a poem. I don't take charity.

Oh, Larry, will you stop being so noble?

You're being noble. I'm being logical.

If you were being logical, you'd allow me to be noble if I were inclined to be

noble, which I'm not.

What are they asking about now, Ruthie?

I think it's my dad's noble and your dad's logical.

Or your dad's noble, my dad's logical.

Dad, what are you, noble or logical?

Tie a can to it, Ruthie.

But I thought you guys were friends again.

We are friends.

If you were my friend, you would listen to what I'm trying to say.

I defy anybody to understand what you're trying to say, friend.

They get any friendlier than and kill each other.

Tie a can to it, Arnold.

Can I ask a question?

When are we going to eat?

Tie a can to it, Will.

What's going on?

Tie a can to it, Diane.

Why don't you kids wash for dinner?

How? All the cans are tied up.

Dad, can I ask a question?

Do you have your job or don't you? He doesn't know. He hasn't given me a

to say.

Larry, you've got the job, and it's strictly a business decision.

Open your mouth and you're fired.

Now, I checked the station out. I like what I saw. I like your show, the

report, the local news, the farm report.

Good people, good programming, and I think it should be kept on the air.

It's all very nice and warm and personal.

You show me one automated station anywhere where they let two kids read a

while a third one hums.

Hey, Phil.

Phil, do you really think this station is great? Yes.

And do you really think I'm good? Yes. Can I have a raise? No.

You old son of a gun.

Excuse me.

Mrs.

Garrett. Hello, Mr.

Alder. Oh, thank you.

Oh, that's why I'm here. My sister's in New York, surprising me.

Oh, dear.

Oh, well, now, children, tell me, are you having any fun?

Terrific time.

Yeah, we're all friends again.

We are all friends, aren't we, Dad?

Right, Ruthie, we're all friends.

That's a very important thing, friendship.

It's like I always said to the sard, if you're ever in a jam, here I am.

If you're ever down a well, ring my bell.

Friendship, friendship, it's a perfect friendship.

When other friendships are all we've got, ours will still be hot.

Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for

you may not be right for some.

A man is born. He's a man of needs.

Then along come two.

They got nothing but the gene.

Everybody's got a special kind of story.

Everybody finds a way to shine.

It don't matter that you got not a lot.

We'll be right back.