Original subtitles

Yeah.

This has been fun.

Okay, so I like this,

and I don't want to mess with a good thing.

What? You're ending things?

Kind of the opposite.

My family hosts

this whole dumb ceremonial tournament,

and you'd make it tolerable.

I know, I know, you can't get close

because of your wife who died 40 years ago.

I know. This isn't that.

It's a barbecue with my parents.

You don't want to get any closer than this.

I'll just find something I don't like about you

or get bored.

It's a plus-one.

What? You never disliked anything about Diane?

I don't have much to look back on.

The Omega device, the thing evil me used

to erase Diane everywhere, it fucks with your mind.

Beth only thinks she remembers her mom.

Wait, why am I talking about this? Are we having sex again?

What kind of clothes are being put on here?

- Oh, they're sex clothes. - Alright!

Welcome back to Cake or Fake? Celebrity Edition.

Do you need a knife, Mr. Stabby?

I brought my own.

Where have you been? Still shitting where I eat?

Hop off the sack, S.B.

I've known BugAnne for a billion years

before you were maybe even cloned.

Oh, relax. Dad's too hung up on Mom to ever commit.

Thank God for that. Keep moping, old man.

Okay, first off, you missed it.

It was a real baby, not a cake,

and Mr. Stabby is canceled now.

And second, why are we dunking on Rick?

He's been a loving dad to our family for as long as I can remember.

Excuse me?

Remember him at our wedding and Morty's birth?

And that time he invented PB&J.

Rick's great.

- What? - What?!

You guys don't remember this?

Oh... I think I know what's going on.

I don't like everyone watching me.

Ah, I knew it.

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Memory Rick.

Push, sweetie. You can do this.

He's so supportive.

How did we get this version of you?

He's just a memory of me at my most passionate and heroic.

He snuck out of Birdperson's brain and into mine.

Must have been inadvertently dumped into Jerry

when we shuffled our brains last season.

Birdperson remembers you as hot.

I'm still hot, and he's fucking everything up

by invading all this family nostalgia.

Jerry basically has the equivalent of memory cancer now.

Cancer?!

He is a clever little bastard, though.

Look how far he's come with springs and gears tech.

Anyways...

The miracle of life, man.

You guys are gonna crush this.

Oh, shit!

Even if I'm not around to help!

- Jerry, take the wheel! - What?!

- Dad! - I love spending time with you guys!

Relax, little guy. Chill out.

You piece of shit. You marooned me!

You piece of shit! You ruined Jerry's brain.

He likes me now. It's awful.

Fuck you, man! You have a beautiful family!

Seriously. Calm down.

I built this ant-farm brain

to give your dumb, high-concept ass all the room it could ever need.

- Enjoy eternity. - This place sucks!

Put me back.

So you didn't invent PB&J.

He's just a memory, Jerry.

Boom! Total reset. Good as new.

What? What got reset?

Pretty amazing that you can just suck out

an intrusive memory like that.

I wish I could suck out the memory of all my shitty exes,

especially Peter Casey.

That guy was way too into lizards.

Fuck you, old man!

What, are you threatened by my youthful vigor?!

You ain't got the juice!

He does seem kind of lonely.

Dad fucks all the time.

He fucks things we can't even comprehend.

Less talking about Dad fucking.

Sorry.

Confirm transfer?

"Dear Rick, you took the memory of Diane out of your head.

You did this to be more emotionally open.

Don't @ me."

BugAnne? Hey! Weird pitch...

Dad?

Oh, shit!

What are you doing?

Honey? Kids? Breakfast!

Oh, there you are.

Where else would I be?

Hey, B.A.

- You need a coffee? - I could do with a tea.

Hi, Beth.

- Hi. - Hey.

Morty, family, this is BugAnne.

Don't gawk. She's just picking me up.

- Yeah, she is. - Hi, BugAnne.

Sorry for crashing breakfast.

Rick called me and said "Weird pitch,"

but then his pitch was just going to the thing I invited him to.

Not exactly typical Dad behavior.

Don't be weird, Space Beth.

I took the memory of your mom out of my head,

now I'm more emotionally open.

- What?! - You took Mom out of your brain?!

- You took Mom out of your brain?! - Don't be weird.

It's not like I haven't tried other ways to move on.

I'm trying something new. It's working. Hop off the sack.

I think it's nice... I think.

Grandpa, when did you start saying "hop off the sack"?

Dad?

Oh. Hey, kiddo.

Where are you going?

I'm heading out for a bit. Don't wait up.

Why are you leaving?

Work stuff.

Beth! My daughter!

The work stuff was in the ceiling.

I'm back now.

- Your hair. It's-- - Way cooler, right?

We're gonna have so much fun together, sweetie.

- Yay! - Then we'll save your mother

from a secret underground memory prison.

Yay?

Rick. Thank God that's over.

Sorry you got stuck with Uncle Scoob.

You didn't tell me everyone here would be cool.

They're not.

That's my Aunt Bulgogi. Huge bitch.

And over there is Jak-Pu, my ex-boyfriend from high school.

I guess he was probably staring for a long time before that, huh?

BugAnne, you left before the end of the banner raising.

Why did you leave? Do I embarrass you?

Not in front of Uncle Scoob, dear.

Mum, Dad, this is Rick.

He's that friend from my early revolutionary days.

Aha! The monkeyman.

Gromflomites give us bugs a bad name.

Such a violent culture.

You've known my daughter a long time, eh?

I have. Though BugAnne and I

have only been hooking up for a few months.

- What?! - What?!

Why did you say that?!

I was opening up!

I didn't know your species had ritualistic,

honor-based duels over premarital sex!

You're a genius, and you looked up nothing about my culture?!

I took my wife out of my head!

I'm going through a lot!

The trial will continue until one of you is dead

or accepts defeat.

If you yield,

you admit you are incapable of love and commitment,

only capable of meaningless, dishonorable sex.

Begin!

Please don't kill Jak-Pu!

Fight me, slut!

Your mom will be in some kind of protected area.

We'll need special access.

I guess Summer does chores for Rick.

She should have an access card we can use to--

That was faster. Nice. Again.

Honey, come on!

Shit. Mom's here to pick me up.

Quick, before you go.

Mom is trapped in a box in the subbasement.

I'm the only one who can save her.

This is how we stay a family.

The older future Rick who locks her up is crafty and paranoid.

He's a real bastard.

But our family will trust me?

Yeah. If you don't act weird.

I won't act weird.

You know, I'm worried about future Mom,

but I love spending this father-daughter time together.

You've always been there for me.

And I always will be, sweetie.

Now, one more time.

Mom is trapped in a box in the subbasement.

I'm the only one who can save her.

This is how we stay a family.

This is how we stay a family.

Oh, hey. What's up?

It'd be cliché if we didn't like Dad dating someone, right?

Yeah. Pretty trite. What part don't you like?

I don't dislike any of it.

I mean, I'm an adult woman, and Dad is his own man.

Fucking piranha plants are in heat again.

- Sorry, sweetie. - God, your shoulder's hard.

What are you hens pecking about?

Your grandpa. Oh, speaking of,

are there specific parts of the subbasement

to keep important stuff?

- Why? - Yeah.

You gonna sabotage things with his new squeeze?

No, Summer, I want to do something nice for Dad.

Oh, wow. Pretty humbling for me.

Uh, yeah. There's a phantom zone for dangerous stuff on Level 2

and a vault for valuable stuff on 7.

Makes sense. Dad said he'd be paranoid.

You bitches want to watch a movie or something?

- Yeah. - Sure.

Cool. Grandpa keeps referencing Cannonball Run,

and I'm tired of pretending I've seen it.

I... remember you.

I remember you.

- Let's go. - Hell yeah.

I like your new car.

What are you doing down here?

- Nothing. - I knew it didn't take this long

to go to the bathroom.

And what did you mean when you said,

"Dad said he'd be paranoid"? Weird sentence.

Just something Dad said in our teens.

Dad wasn't in our teens, Beth.

We're the same person with the same memories.

Does this have something to do

with that cool, younger version of Dad?

No. You're crazy. Here, I'll prove it.

- We can go check on him. - Okay.

Is your skull metal?

It is.

Oh, cool.

Just stop fighting me!

I can't!

This is how we stay a family!

Space Beth?

Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!

Okay, okay, so I'm a memory from the past,

and you and I have a daughter in the future,

and we're in her head right now.

We're together in her head right now.

But there's a special ant-farm brain

Old Real Rick built where we can live forever.

What's wrong?

We should have been shunted over by now.

Beth only had to move us from the subbasement to the garage.

I'm gonna go see what's up.

Don't touch anything!

Who are you?

Oh, God. I'm your mom... somehow.

You can't be my mom.

My mom's locked in a box in the subbasement.

I was.

It's something to do with memories or something.

- You're too young. - I'm a memory just like you.

And I think we're in real you's head.

I'm a memory?

I'm not real?

It's all new to me too. I know. We came here in that pod.

What?! Hey!

- Diane. - Rick!

Okay. Plan has a bit of a wrinkle.

I think Real Beth's gone rogue.

Wait. What are you doing out of the pod?

Our daughter was right there, Rick.

I tried to tell her we were both memories, but--

Fuck. Fuck!

Sweetie, telling a memory what they are wakes them up.

What? It does?!

It shouldn't be that easy to create sentience.

Yeah, I think every parent has that thought at some point.

Shit! This is bad.

I already filled up Beth's suggestible memories

to brainwash her into rescuing you.

- Brainwash her? - To rescue you!

Aw, our first fight.

This is what happens when you listen to people.

You end up in a fighting pit with an ex-boyfriend

you're not allowed to kill.

I invited you to a thing, Rick!

You didn't have to come!

And you certainly didn't have to take your dead wife out of your head!

I told you getting closer would be dumb.

Read the fucking room, dude.

I am!

It doesn't seem like your dead wife was the problem.

Oh, yeah? So we're all in agreement!

Guess I'll just go undo it then!

Rick!

Whoa!

Shit!

Please work. Please work. Please work.

- Ow! - Thank God!

- Dad? - Easy, slugger.

You're lucky you've got a robot spine.

Why are you down here?

Where's Beth? And what happened to my memory box with Diane?

And where's Memory Rick?

He must have jacked his way into her mind somehow.

Jesus. One sentient memory running around a head is bad enough.

Her brain could be hosting a full-on outbreak now.

We gotta find her.

I'm gonna flush that little memory turd so hard!

Hey, wait. How'd your date go?

Would I be here if it went well?

I had to do it. I had to do it for Mom.

This is how we stay a family.

This is how we stay a family!

We gotta get to Beth's recent memories.

We'll be on a slight delay, but that's the closest

we can get to talking with her in real time.

Our family's not very normal, is it?

Yeah, they're cool. I got to spend some time with them

in our son-in-law's head.

And that didn't mess anything up?

I'm still nervous about that Beth I woke up.

Well, if she is hunting us, she's not doing a very good job.

Dad?

Me?

That's not our dad. That's an impostor.

And he's filled up our brain like a virus.

But he's just a memory, and so are we.

And so are you.

We've got to be close.

There!

Damn. Good arm.

Almost there.

Whoa! There you are, sweetie.

Hey, Dad.

- What's going on? - She's waking up more of her.

What are you Beths doing?!

You'll scramble your own brain!

Wonder where I got... the idea!

Sorry, memory daughter.

Oh, you think you can run?

That you know my own mind better than me?

Mom, Dad, I...

I think I just killed Space Beth.

- Get back here! - Just drive, sweetie.

We're so proud of you, hon.

- Now what?! - I don't know!

This is as far as I planned.

I've never actually had to be a parent.

- Should we go back? - Rick hates me

and he pulled you out of his head.

He'll just kill us.

Well, if there's no way out, should we just Thelma and Louise this?

- Wait. What? - Wait. What?

Beth, you're real. Don't do this.

- Honey, we'll be fine! - I can't live without you.

Honey, please.

This is how we stay a family!

- Beth, no! - Wait!

If this is a recent memory, doesn't that mean she already...

Beth, let us help you.

I won't let you take them from me.

They're not your real family!

Listen to me. You broke my neck and I still don't want to hurt you.

Oh! My head.

Oh, this... this is how...

how we stay a...

Beth?

I just want it to end.

- Whoa! Whoa! Hey! - I just want it to end.

Whoa! Whoa! Hey!

You see what you did?!

We're your daughter, and you drove us insane!

So we're gonna kill you before she kills all of us!

- Rick! - Diane!

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

I'm so confused, Space Beth.

I hear... I hear so many voices.

I remember loving my dad

and then hating my dad.

That's just called being alive, sweetie.

I wasn't there for you, and someone took advantage of that.

But I'm here now.

Your real dad is here, Beth.

And he's more emotionally open.

He seems nice.

Why didn't we get that version of Dad?

Wait, what's he doing with his hand?

He's distracting her! That piece of shit!

I wish I could have known her. Mom.

You did. She raised you.

I know, but... I don't really remember.

No one does.

Even I only had a scrap of her.

It's been nice having her in my head for a second.

- I think. - Memories aren't real, Beth.

And they can be as self-serving as any of us.

Fuck. The second my Memory Diane broke out,

she helped hijack my daughter.

Your real mom...

loved you more than that.

Guess I'll have to take your word for it.

So... it's over?

How you doing, sweetie?

You're feeling at all radicalized-y?

I'm fine, Jer.

Pretty impressive reset job.

What happened to Memory Rick?

Oh...

He's gone.

The fuck is this sombering up you all just did?

He gaslit your mom!

Yeah, because he loved Grandma.

I'm sad a nice version of you is dead.

He's a weird thought creature!

He was never alive!

Whatever! I'm gonna...

I'm gonna fucking go hang out with BugAnne.

That's still going on?

Thanks for not killing us.

Listen up, you little activist.

This is as good as you're gonna get.

Ant-farm brain and a patch of empty space.

You get within 100 light-years of my family

or try to build yourself a brain creature mech suit or whatever,

your whole container thing explodes.

- You got it, chief. - And look,

the fact that you two get this stupid happy ending

where you're young forever and presumably always fucking

drives me insane,

so I'm gonna mind-blow myself and forget this ever happened.

You're on your own.

Thank you for keeping me alive this long, Rick.

Yeah.

Goodbye, Memory Diane.

Ooh-wee! Season eight, huh?

I liked when Jerry was the Easter Bunny.

That was fun. Oh, and that...

Who is he... who's he talking to?

I can never tell.

But that data is irrefutable.

His atoms vibrate on a frequency

unlike any found in our whole reality.

And you believe this traveler came here

to replace your husband?

I know I sound insane and self-centered for thinking that.

The facts reveal you to be the opposite.

You've been very brave, Amy.

What would you have us do with him?

Did you get any of that?