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1
00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:04,600
On the buses, number 5, part 1,
production number 757, recording date
2
00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:05,900
the 8th, 71, take 1.
3
00:01:04,970 --> 00:01:05,970
How much, love?
4
00:01:06,330 --> 00:01:09,610
That's 15 and 6, 21, 24 and 8, 32.
5
00:01:10,090 --> 00:01:11,090
Make it 26.
6
00:01:12,250 --> 00:01:13,250
Thanks, love.
7
00:01:14,290 --> 00:01:15,290
That's 50, darling.
8
00:01:15,670 --> 00:01:16,670
Thanks.
9
00:01:19,210 --> 00:01:20,850
Staping kidney, mash and clean.
10
00:01:21,150 --> 00:01:23,690
Oh, love, here. I could do with a bit
more staking kidney.
11
00:01:23,990 --> 00:01:25,150
You blokes never have enough.
12
00:01:28,310 --> 00:01:30,470
Oh, that's gorgeous. How much is that,
love?
13
00:01:30,780 --> 00:01:33,680
Well, let's see. Well, forget about the
extra steak and kidney.
14
00:01:34,380 --> 00:01:36,160
25. Call it 20.
15
00:01:36,740 --> 00:01:40,340
20? Oh, blimey, love, I'm a bit skint
after all those bockers I bought for you
16
00:01:40,340 --> 00:01:41,340
last night.
17
00:01:42,220 --> 00:01:43,300
Oh, yeah, all right.
18
00:01:43,500 --> 00:01:45,000
Make it 15, then. Yeah, all right.
19
00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:46,200
There you go, love.
20
00:01:46,980 --> 00:01:50,960
Here, I've got a bit extra I'll remind
you about last night. Yeah, I bet they
21
00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:52,300
remind you about last night at all.
22
00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:55,760
Yeah, amongst other things.
23
00:01:57,240 --> 00:01:58,520
Toad in the hole for me, darling.
24
00:01:58,780 --> 00:01:59,679
OK, love.
25
00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:01,860
Yeah. Chips. Egg. Yes, please, yes.
26
00:02:02,380 --> 00:02:03,880
Oh, that looks nice, doesn't it? Here.
27
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:08,639
Got any extra bangers, ma 'am? I've got
some coming out. All right, I can wait,
28
00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:11,720
ma 'am. I'll keep it hot for you. Hey,
I'll make you sell it to all the lads,
29
00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:12,720
eh?
30
00:02:13,460 --> 00:02:15,160
It's up, it's up. Here comes Dracula.
Watch it.
31
00:02:16,420 --> 00:02:19,520
Oh, it's cold out in that garage. I'm
frozen to the marrow. Hear that?
32
00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:20,759
Dracula's cold.
33
00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:22,360
You want to put a hot water bottle in
your coffin?
34
00:02:24,380 --> 00:02:25,380
More on you.
35
00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:26,880
I'll have a...
36
00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:29,420
Toad in the hole and chips on it,
please, sir. Yes, Inspector.
37
00:02:29,920 --> 00:02:30,920
Of course.
38
00:02:30,940 --> 00:02:31,839
Portion of peas.
39
00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:33,860
Oh, yes, please. I must have a bit more
than that on Femi.
40
00:02:35,620 --> 00:02:36,820
They look nice, don't they?
41
00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,800
Why did you do that for him? You said
one portion.
42
00:02:42,260 --> 00:02:43,580
It was only a couple extra.
43
00:02:43,900 --> 00:02:47,100
We call her favouritism just because
you're the Inspector, you know.
44
00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:52,140
That's, sir, 15 for the toad, four for
the peas, portion of chips, five.
45
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:54,340
Five?
46
00:02:54,650 --> 00:02:57,390
Please? Six chips? Well, that can't be
right, can it?
47
00:02:57,630 --> 00:02:58,630
Let's have a look.
48
00:03:00,170 --> 00:03:02,110
No, you've got too, too many.
49
00:03:03,730 --> 00:03:05,490
Six chips to a portion.
50
00:03:07,290 --> 00:03:08,290
That's ridiculous.
51
00:03:08,450 --> 00:03:11,490
Who said there's only six chips to a
portion, then? The management.
52
00:03:12,490 --> 00:03:13,490
Oh.
53
00:03:13,770 --> 00:03:15,710
Oh, well, I'd better have another
portion, then, wouldn't I?
54
00:03:16,810 --> 00:03:19,850
Is that five pence more make 29?
55
00:03:20,570 --> 00:03:23,170
29. Is mine ready yet, darling?
56
00:03:23,940 --> 00:03:24,940
29p.
57
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:26,660
29p for that, look.
58
00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:29,100
That girl's very efficient, isn't she?
Yeah.
59
00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:30,360
Don't give nothing away.
60
00:03:30,660 --> 00:03:31,660
Oh, no, no.
61
00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:35,840
And yet the management use 50 quid a
week on this canteen, do you know that?
62
00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:38,240
Got me beat, I tell you. Yeah, I bet it
has.
63
00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:42,080
I've put on an extra sausage and another
egg. Yes.
64
00:03:42,340 --> 00:03:43,880
Keep your strength up, don't you?
65
00:03:46,220 --> 00:03:49,260
How much is that, doll? Well, it's 45
there.
66
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:50,520
Make it 24.
67
00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:51,720
Oh, that's better.
68
00:03:52,780 --> 00:03:55,820
Hey, look, I think you'll stick this
about right then, darling. Thanks,
69
00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:56,840
sweetheart.
70
00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:04,680
Miss,
71
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:16,899
what did Butler have for his lunch for
24p, then?
72
00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:19,579
Tone in the hole, host a chip and an
egg.
73
00:04:20,100 --> 00:04:21,100
Are you sure?
74
00:04:21,899 --> 00:04:22,900
Looks a bit more than that to me.
75
00:04:27,020 --> 00:04:28,980
Yeah, watch it. I think Blake is getting
suspicious.
76
00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:31,200
Eat up.
77
00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:39,900
Oh, brother, I can't. It's boiling up.
78
00:04:40,140 --> 00:04:41,059
Well, cut it up.
79
00:04:41,060 --> 00:04:43,220
Camouflage it. Eat the ends off the
bangers. Oh, yeah, yeah.
80
00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:46,840
Wait a minute. Keep your eye on him.
Keep your eye on him.
81
00:04:54,380 --> 00:04:55,920
Yeah? Stop eating a minute, will you?
82
00:05:00,220 --> 00:05:00,899
Like that?
83
00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:01,639
Mm -hmm.
84
00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:03,900
You've got more on your plate than you
paid for.
85
00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:07,360
What do you mean? You paid for one egg.
You've got two eggs here, look.
86
00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:09,280
There? Yeah.
87
00:05:09,340 --> 00:05:12,400
Oh, no! No, that's not two eggs. That's
only one.
88
00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:15,160
No, it's, um, it's a double yolk, see?
89
00:05:17,380 --> 00:05:19,620
Don't give me that. I'm not a moron, you
know.
90
00:05:20,110 --> 00:05:23,250
No, no, Stan's quite right, Blackie. I
mean, can you tell one of them yolks
91
00:05:23,250 --> 00:05:26,950
the other? Well, no, but I mean... There
you are, identical twins. Come from the
92
00:05:26,950 --> 00:05:30,170
same egg. Now, that is a scientific
fact. Yeah, yeah, it's quite right,
93
00:05:30,250 --> 00:05:33,950
That is an amazing likeness, then. What
are you talking about? Listen, Blackie,
94
00:05:33,950 --> 00:05:37,490
I'll bet you that if those two yolks had
grown up into chicks, even their own
95
00:05:37,490 --> 00:05:38,570
mother couldn't have told them apart.
96
00:05:39,930 --> 00:05:43,230
You can't fool me, mate. You've got a
sausage there. You never paid for a
97
00:05:43,230 --> 00:05:46,470
sausage, did you? What are you talking
about? That's my toad. I just pulled it
98
00:05:46,470 --> 00:05:47,470
out of the eye.
99
00:05:55,470 --> 00:05:56,470
Well, that one, I pulled it out.
100
00:05:57,710 --> 00:05:58,950
Like your feet on hot day.
101
00:05:59,250 --> 00:06:02,810
Eh? Well, you know, take your shoes off,
your feet swell up, you can't get your
102
00:06:02,810 --> 00:06:03,810
shoes back on again.
103
00:06:04,110 --> 00:06:05,590
What are you trying to give me?
104
00:06:05,890 --> 00:06:07,310
You're messing up for a bit potty.
105
00:06:07,710 --> 00:06:11,550
You've got more on your plate than
you've paid for, mate. Look, you've got
106
00:06:11,550 --> 00:06:12,690
than one sausage here for a start.
107
00:06:13,010 --> 00:06:16,570
I've just cut it up and I... Well, put
the eggs together again then, we're soon
108
00:06:16,570 --> 00:06:17,489
to eat.
109
00:06:17,490 --> 00:06:18,630
All right, put them together then.
110
00:06:18,910 --> 00:06:21,050
Now, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait
a minute. Don't rush me now. I'll put it
111
00:06:21,050 --> 00:06:22,050
together, I'll get it.
112
00:06:33,260 --> 00:06:35,940
You've got more than one sausage.
There's two sausages there.
113
00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:38,620
What are you talking about? How can
there be two sausages? Look, if there
114
00:06:38,620 --> 00:06:41,780
two sausages there, there'd be four
inns, wouldn't there? And there's only
115
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:43,600
Yeah, that's proof positive. Only one
sausage.
116
00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:46,120
You've eaten the inns.
117
00:06:47,460 --> 00:06:48,740
You've eaten the evidence, haven't you?
118
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:52,960
Well, it won't do you no good, but I'll
tell you that. You gave 24p for a
119
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:56,920
massive great plate full of food there,
and I gave 29p for a little tiny morsel.
120
00:06:57,240 --> 00:07:00,500
I know what's going on in this canteen,
all right. There's someone here eating
121
00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:01,680
food who ain't paid for it.
122
00:07:04,650 --> 00:07:07,470
There's someone here who's eating food
who won't fight for it. Look,
123
00:07:08,310 --> 00:07:09,410
your dinner.
124
00:07:14,590 --> 00:07:21,150
You sure you don't want any supper,
love?
125
00:07:21,430 --> 00:07:22,770
No, thanks, Mum. No, I couldn't eat a
thing.
126
00:07:23,190 --> 00:07:26,230
Do you know what? Since we've had this
new canteen, girl, we can stuff
127
00:07:26,230 --> 00:07:27,330
stupid for next to nothing.
128
00:07:28,710 --> 00:07:32,430
Yes, we're not all so lucky. All I've
had since breakfast time's a sandwich.
129
00:07:32,710 --> 00:07:33,890
Where's my supper, Mark?
130
00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:35,280
Here you are, love.
131
00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,320
Not that blasted stew again.
132
00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:42,140
Well, you said it was delicious when you
had it at Sunday dinner time.
133
00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:43,960
Today happens to be Thursday.
134
00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:47,260
In any case, I'm not very partial to
stewed lamb.
135
00:07:47,540 --> 00:07:49,460
Yeah, but it's not lamb any longer, it's
now mutton.
136
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:51,860
Smells like goat.
137
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:56,860
Look, my, haven't you got something
else? I mean, this is my one meal of the
138
00:07:56,860 --> 00:08:00,380
day. I need something nourishing,
something with vitamins in it. Not a
139
00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:01,380
second -hand stew.
140
00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:04,780
Look, there's good carrots in that, and
bar... to thicken it up.
141
00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:06,360
Plenty of vitamins in those.
142
00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:07,740
Well, carrots are good for you.
143
00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:09,080
Make you see in the dark.
144
00:08:09,460 --> 00:08:12,740
Oh, Arthur, that means that when you
wake up in the night, you'll be able to
145
00:08:12,740 --> 00:08:14,040
me without putting the light on.
146
00:08:16,780 --> 00:08:18,340
Here, hurry up and eat the barley, mate.
147
00:08:19,220 --> 00:08:21,240
It's full of vitamin B. Strengthens your
nerves.
148
00:08:22,900 --> 00:08:23,900
Don't be so rude.
149
00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,160
You don't mind seeing me in the dark, do
you, Arthur?
150
00:08:26,660 --> 00:08:27,920
I prefer it that way.
151
00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:30,720
Well,
152
00:08:31,580 --> 00:08:32,659
it's just disgusting.
153
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:36,240
I tell you what, mate, you ought to
become a busman. I tell you what, this
154
00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:38,260
girl, I mean, we'd get more than we can
eat.
155
00:08:38,620 --> 00:08:42,000
Well, love, I wish you could bring a few
leftovers home for me.
156
00:08:42,380 --> 00:08:46,380
Yeah, I... Hey, I tell you what I'll do,
Mum. I'll have a word with Susie and
157
00:08:46,380 --> 00:08:47,380
see what I can do for you.
158
00:08:47,620 --> 00:08:51,580
But in the meantime, eat your stew up as
a good boy. Oh, shut up.
159
00:08:52,260 --> 00:08:54,460
I'm fed up with getting the leftovers
from this house.
160
00:08:54,780 --> 00:08:56,220
I'm treating it like a dustbin.
161
00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:59,560
I tell you what, let's put him out next
Thursday. We might get him collected.
162
00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:07,920
A choggy, mate. Oh,
163
00:09:09,140 --> 00:09:10,119
Dad!
164
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:14,360
Oh, yes, love? You left your paper and
all your things in the canteen. Oh,
165
00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:15,339
thanks, love.
166
00:09:15,340 --> 00:09:16,900
You got the stuff? Page four.
167
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:18,140
Page four, is it?
168
00:09:19,460 --> 00:09:20,460
Lovely,
169
00:09:21,380 --> 00:09:22,380
love.
170
00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:23,680
Here, stand back.
171
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:25,880
I wouldn't wear these for driving if I
were you.
172
00:09:26,420 --> 00:09:27,239
Why not?
173
00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:28,820
Well, she's stuck sausages up the
fingers.
174
00:09:32,620 --> 00:09:34,140
There's some statement in your scarf.
175
00:09:34,990 --> 00:09:36,730
Stank kidney pudding, Jenny. Oh, lovely,
lovely.
176
00:09:37,230 --> 00:09:38,910
And there's some cheese in your cap.
177
00:09:39,110 --> 00:09:43,090
Oh, you are a crafty one, you are. I've
got to be. The inspector's getting
178
00:09:43,090 --> 00:09:46,630
suspicious. I thought me being canteen
staff, he might have me searched.
179
00:09:46,970 --> 00:09:49,970
Good idea. I'll volunteer for the job.
Yeah, me too. Look, I tell you what,
180
00:09:49,970 --> 00:09:52,950
take this off. You have the other half.
No, I'll take the old lot. I know the
181
00:09:52,950 --> 00:09:56,590
territory, don't I? Get out of here. Who
found it first? Get off. Get your hands
182
00:09:56,590 --> 00:09:57,610
off. What?
183
00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:03,930
Put that girl down. What do you think
you're doing? Get back in the canteen.
184
00:10:03,990 --> 00:10:04,919
Come on.
185
00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:07,220
Now, get that butt out, will ya? Yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
186
00:10:08,580 --> 00:10:12,440
Get the butt out, mate.
187
00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:15,500
Father?
188
00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:18,080
What's wrong with me, technically?
189
00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:19,440
I think he needs haircut.
190
00:10:53,270 --> 00:10:54,270
Oh, Mum.
191
00:10:54,850 --> 00:10:56,890
Oh, this steak and kidney pudding's
beautiful.
192
00:10:57,210 --> 00:11:01,570
Oh, well, so it should be. Here, that's
real steak and kidney. I could never
193
00:11:01,570 --> 00:11:03,550
afford that. Not at the end of the week.
194
00:11:04,390 --> 00:11:05,390
Do you mind?
195
00:11:05,590 --> 00:11:07,970
I have already told you I'm not eating
that. It's stolen.
196
00:11:08,350 --> 00:11:12,610
Oh, Arthur, it's beautiful.
197
00:11:12,870 --> 00:11:13,609
Smell it.
198
00:11:13,610 --> 00:11:16,050
I don't want to thank you. He stole that
from the canteen.
199
00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:20,110
Oh, don't be dark. These are leftover
steak and kidney puddings.
200
00:11:20,410 --> 00:11:21,410
Eh?
201
00:11:21,630 --> 00:11:22,630
Oh.
202
00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:24,000
Oh, well, I didn't realise that.
203
00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:25,520
I didn't know.
204
00:11:25,860 --> 00:11:27,860
Do you mean you had those in the canteen
yesterday?
205
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:30,060
No, they're left over from tomorrow.
206
00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:36,000
Don't talk wet, mate. How can they be
left over from tomorrow?
207
00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:38,720
Well, our canteen goes very good at
anticipating, see.
208
00:11:39,380 --> 00:11:40,820
It shows it in the future.
209
00:11:42,180 --> 00:11:44,640
It's thieving, mate. I'm not going to be
a party to it.
210
00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:46,240
I shall have some bread and tea.
211
00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:51,720
Smells a bit funny.
212
00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:53,600
Is this flavoured with something?
213
00:11:54,020 --> 00:11:55,020
Yeah, they're all.
214
00:11:55,140 --> 00:11:56,140
Oh, here we go.
215
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:58,760
How revolting.
216
00:11:59,100 --> 00:12:01,540
Does everything we eat in this house
have to be stolen?
217
00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:04,360
Well, Stancer, don't be thrown away.
218
00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:06,280
Here, come on, love.
219
00:12:06,500 --> 00:12:09,740
Have a bit of nice steak and kidneys.
No, no, no. No, thank you.
220
00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:11,260
It's against my principles.
221
00:12:12,420 --> 00:12:17,140
Your principles, you hypocrite. Here,
blimey, what about this butter knife,
222
00:12:17,260 --> 00:12:18,260
You knock this off.
223
00:12:18,770 --> 00:12:20,110
Station Hotel Grimsby.
224
00:12:20,330 --> 00:12:21,330
Oh,
225
00:12:22,590 --> 00:12:25,250
that's different. That was the souvenir
of our honeymoon.
226
00:12:26,650 --> 00:12:28,710
In any case, it was Olive's idea to take
that.
227
00:12:29,390 --> 00:12:33,990
I remember walking out of the hotel with
it when we left. My heart was thumping
228
00:12:33,990 --> 00:12:34,990
and I was all excited.
229
00:12:35,270 --> 00:12:37,250
Yeah, I bet that was the biggest thrill
you had all the week.
230
00:12:39,650 --> 00:12:44,390
I don't think we need that sort of talk.
In any case, that's one small knife.
231
00:12:44,990 --> 00:12:47,690
The amount of food you bring over out of
the canteen, you might just as well
232
00:12:47,690 --> 00:12:49,810
help yourselves off the shelf off the
supermarket.
233
00:12:50,290 --> 00:12:52,550
Oh, no, that would be stealing.
234
00:12:52,910 --> 00:12:54,570
Anyway, they've got a detective
watching.
235
00:12:54,890 --> 00:12:59,390
Yes, do you know what? They caught two
women last week with chickens stuffed up
236
00:12:59,390 --> 00:13:01,330
their coats pretending to be pregnant.
237
00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:06,730
Yes, they are very hot nowadays. Do you
know last week they stopped me because
238
00:13:06,730 --> 00:13:09,310
they said I had a suspicious bulge under
my coat?
239
00:13:09,950 --> 00:13:11,970
What was it? Her stomach.
240
00:13:14,350 --> 00:13:15,910
Because my coat was too tight.
241
00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:17,530
In any case, I don't care what you say.
242
00:13:17,870 --> 00:13:21,810
I'm not eating those bacon kidney pies.
They've been pinched. Oh, don't make me
243
00:13:21,810 --> 00:13:25,030
laugh. You'll be laughing over the other
side of your face, mate. Won't you, if
244
00:13:25,030 --> 00:13:27,510
the law suddenly arrived at the front
door? What are you talking about?
245
00:13:28,230 --> 00:13:29,470
To erect the lot of you.
246
00:13:30,090 --> 00:13:31,590
Receiving stolen property, mate.
247
00:13:31,810 --> 00:13:34,490
Don't be stupid, mate. The law looks at
the door now.
248
00:13:34,770 --> 00:13:37,130
It'll take you five seconds to get there
and into here.
249
00:13:37,330 --> 00:13:39,030
And by that time, Oliver will have eaten
the evidence.
250
00:13:43,420 --> 00:13:45,300
Oh, thank God it's night time, mate. I'm
starving.
251
00:13:45,580 --> 00:13:46,780
You eating in the canteen today?
252
00:13:46,980 --> 00:13:49,860
Well, I've got nine. It's Thursday. I'm
dead skint. Well, I say skint. I've got
253
00:13:49,860 --> 00:13:54,060
about five new pence left. Oh, blimey.
With Susie, you'd be laughing, mate.
254
00:13:54,060 --> 00:13:57,260
that, you'll get soup, steak and kidney
pie, two veg, treacle tart, coffee, and
255
00:13:57,260 --> 00:13:58,440
you'll still come out with tuppence
chains.
256
00:13:58,660 --> 00:14:00,360
That's what I mean. It's the canteen,
isn't it? Go on, then.
257
00:14:03,460 --> 00:14:04,740
Oh, blimey. Head's up.
258
00:14:05,020 --> 00:14:06,020
Blake is here.
259
00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:10,700
Hello, Susie, darling. Two hungry
customers here.
260
00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:13,600
Morning. Gladys, what do you want?
261
00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:16,460
Bag us a mess twice, please.
262
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:21,360
Where's Susie?
263
00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:28,180
She's gone, mate.
264
00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:32,700
I finished her up this morning.
265
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,880
I tumbled what was going on all right.
266
00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:37,480
You won't get round this one so easily,
I'll tell you.
267
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:38,880
Lord, who was there?
268
00:14:48,289 --> 00:14:49,430
Is that right, Inspector?
269
00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:50,990
Yes, I love you.
270
00:14:51,970 --> 00:14:53,510
She's just right for this job, she is.
271
00:14:54,010 --> 00:14:55,750
Come here with marvellous references,
you know.
272
00:14:56,610 --> 00:14:58,690
Blimey, where did you get this one from?
A woman's prison.
273
00:15:00,750 --> 00:15:02,310
She was a wardress in Holloway.
274
00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:04,010
How did you get hold of her?
275
00:15:04,250 --> 00:15:06,070
He must have met her when he went to
visit his mum.
276
00:15:08,569 --> 00:15:10,590
Twenty -two. I'll part, Jack. I'm
skinny.
277
00:15:10,810 --> 00:15:11,489
Hey, all right.
278
00:15:11,490 --> 00:15:12,490
Hey, all right.
279
00:15:13,690 --> 00:15:15,610
Gosh, look, this is not much here, mate.
280
00:15:15,850 --> 00:15:17,370
It's a fair portion for the money.
281
00:15:22,250 --> 00:15:28,350
You carry on like that, my dear, you'll
soon have the county back in profits
282
00:15:28,350 --> 00:15:29,350
again.
283
00:15:33,650 --> 00:15:34,650
Well,
284
00:15:35,030 --> 00:15:37,450
that's done it for me, mate. How do you
mean?
285
00:15:38,090 --> 00:15:40,450
Well, I promised Mum I'd bring her home
some grub tonight.
286
00:15:40,750 --> 00:15:41,750
Well, it might still be all right.
287
00:15:42,630 --> 00:15:45,110
With this one here, you must be joking.
288
00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:47,650
Listen, everyone's got their price,
mate.
289
00:15:48,450 --> 00:15:50,450
Look, I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll
chat her up for you.
290
00:15:51,430 --> 00:15:54,530
Chat her up? What are you going to say
to that one? You just leave it to me,
291
00:15:54,610 --> 00:15:55,730
mate. All right, big head.
292
00:15:57,950 --> 00:15:58,950
Gladys, darling.
293
00:15:59,390 --> 00:16:00,390
Yes?
294
00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:04,330
Me and my mate was just saying, you look
a nice, friendly type. Do I?
295
00:16:04,750 --> 00:16:07,570
Yeah, a bit like the last girl we had
here. I mean...
296
00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:09,320
She was a right cracker and all.
297
00:16:09,860 --> 00:16:15,020
Oh. Yeah, well, then, she used to look
after us, you know, give us a few bits
298
00:16:15,020 --> 00:16:16,600
grub that was left lying around in the
kitchen.
299
00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:21,420
Oh. Of course, we'd pay a bit for it and
allowed to see she had a good time.
300
00:16:21,980 --> 00:16:22,979
Like what?
301
00:16:22,980 --> 00:16:23,980
Well, you know.
302
00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:30,480
Anyway, the point is, she promised my
mate a leg of lamb and some sausages for
303
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:32,280
this evening, but he's a bit too shy to
ask.
304
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:33,560
Like him over there?
305
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:34,760
Yeah.
306
00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:36,280
All right, mate.
307
00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:43,920
Ah, yes.
308
00:16:44,020 --> 00:16:46,380
Oh, do you think he fancies me then?
309
00:16:47,060 --> 00:16:48,060
Well, yes.
310
00:16:50,180 --> 00:16:53,220
But don't tell him I told you so, will
you? No.
311
00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:57,540
Well, I can't give him anything now, but
tell him to come to the back room at
312
00:16:57,540 --> 00:16:58,540
three o 'clock.
313
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,140
I'll find something for him. Yeah,
right.
314
00:17:03,060 --> 00:17:04,420
I knew you'd be OK.
315
00:17:04,660 --> 00:17:06,680
Here, you're going to enjoy working
here.
316
00:17:07,859 --> 00:17:09,140
All right, mate, it's fixed.
317
00:17:11,079 --> 00:17:12,079
Yeah.
318
00:17:13,099 --> 00:17:16,500
You've got to go round the back room at
three o 'clock and pick up the stuff,
319
00:17:16,599 --> 00:17:17,700
right? Yeah.
320
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:22,780
Great. Marvellous. Of course, she,
naturally, she'll be expecting
321
00:17:23,780 --> 00:17:24,780
Yes.
322
00:17:25,780 --> 00:17:28,960
Well, then, did you fix up what I've got
to give her?
323
00:17:29,580 --> 00:17:34,620
Well, no, not exactly, but I promise you
it won't cost you much money.
324
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:36,660
That's my mate.
325
00:17:57,620 --> 00:17:58,860
Gladys, it's me, Stan.
326
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:01,780
You know, Jack fixed it for me.
327
00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:05,280
You there?
328
00:18:08,820 --> 00:18:09,820
Oh.
329
00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:14,920
Hello. You were expecting me? Oh, yes,
I've been looking forward to it.
330
00:18:15,180 --> 00:18:15,799
Oh, good.
331
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:16,800
Well, come on in.
332
00:18:17,020 --> 00:18:18,020
Oh, yeah, all right, yes.
333
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:21,900
Oh, I see you've got the stuff then.
334
00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:24,620
Oh, yeah, I picked out the best leg and
some sausages.
335
00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:26,680
Thanks, love. Thanks, love.
336
00:18:37,140 --> 00:18:39,520
You don't have to bolt the door.
337
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,360
I don't want anyone coming in.
338
00:18:42,940 --> 00:18:45,300
No, it's all right. I'll stash the stuff
in my overcoat, see?
339
00:18:45,820 --> 00:18:47,060
Not because of that.
340
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:48,640
You know.
341
00:18:50,260 --> 00:18:53,240
Oh, the money. The money. Yeah, of
course. I forgot that. No, I...
342
00:18:54,030 --> 00:18:57,530
Pay you naturally, you know. And Gladys,
I want you to know this, that I'm very
343
00:18:57,530 --> 00:19:00,190
grateful. Show me how grateful.
344
00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:07,710
Oh.
345
00:19:08,070 --> 00:19:11,950
Ah, now. Now, come on. We've got till
four o 'clock.
346
00:19:12,670 --> 00:19:14,390
You've only come in here for a leg of
lamb.
347
00:19:15,490 --> 00:19:19,190
For ten years, I worked in that prison
with nothing but women.
348
00:19:19,430 --> 00:19:22,050
That's why I changed my job. Wait a
minute.
349
00:19:23,870 --> 00:19:28,510
Now, come on, you don't have to be shy.
Look, we're wasting time.
350
00:19:30,790 --> 00:19:33,370
Your friend said you fancied me.
351
00:19:33,770 --> 00:19:36,130
I? And I fancy you.
352
00:19:37,650 --> 00:19:40,350
Miss, you there, missy.
353
00:19:40,610 --> 00:19:42,890
I've got a query here about your
insurance card.
354
00:19:43,310 --> 00:19:44,310
Gladys, please.
355
00:19:44,710 --> 00:19:45,950
Please, Gladys, please.
356
00:19:46,170 --> 00:19:47,170
Be sensible.
357
00:19:47,490 --> 00:19:49,610
You can carry on like this.
358
00:19:50,010 --> 00:19:51,470
Please, please, please.
359
00:19:52,620 --> 00:19:53,780
Please, give us a break.
360
00:19:53,980 --> 00:19:54,980
Give us just a bit.
361
00:19:55,660 --> 00:19:57,520
Oh, no, no, don't do that.
362
00:19:58,220 --> 00:19:59,780
Oh, don't take her out of the way.
363
00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:01,640
Don't take her out of the way.
364
00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:04,880
You're not only coming here for one
thing. No, I won't.
365
00:20:05,140 --> 00:20:06,460
I won't.
366
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:11,220
Get off that. Get off of me.
367
00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:14,220
You can't make me mad, have you, mate?
368
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:18,560
What's the matter with you? You don't
understand, do you? No, no, you don't
369
00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:21,080
know. Blake, you don't understand. It's
not what you think. No, no.
370
00:20:25,260 --> 00:20:27,800
I'll tell you that. You'll get the sack
for this. No, no.
371
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:31,100
It wasn't his fault. I tempted him.
372
00:20:31,340 --> 00:20:32,580
I led him on.
373
00:20:38,140 --> 00:20:44,960
I always knew you weren't a great
successful lover
374
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,280
and all that all the time, but...
375
00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:51,790
You know, I've got to get a bus out.
376
00:20:53,030 --> 00:20:54,230
I've got to get a bus out.
377
00:21:00,550 --> 00:21:01,550
Oh,
378
00:21:01,990 --> 00:21:03,650
I see.
379
00:21:04,470 --> 00:21:06,430
Been doing your conjuring tricks again,
haven't you?
380
00:21:08,210 --> 00:21:14,370
I gave him that, Inspector, for love.
381
00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:15,930
I lured him.
382
00:21:20,919 --> 00:21:21,960
Is that right, Butler?
383
00:21:22,260 --> 00:21:24,860
Well, yeah, I suppose you could say
that.
384
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:26,240
Oh.
385
00:21:27,780 --> 00:21:31,400
You gave him a leg of lamb and a couple
of parlor sausages for his body.
386
00:21:35,580 --> 00:21:38,220
He ain't worth a couple of pen of neck
and scrag.
387
00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:40,560
I wouldn't say that.
388
00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:42,620
Go on, get out of it.
389
00:21:42,940 --> 00:21:43,899
I don't know.
390
00:21:43,900 --> 00:21:46,660
You'd corrupt anyone, you would, Butler,
honestly. I don't know what...
391
00:21:47,620 --> 00:21:50,740
I'll have to get someone to run this
canteen who's completely sexless. Yeah.
392
00:21:50,940 --> 00:21:51,940
Why don't you run it yourself?
393
00:21:56,620 --> 00:21:57,680
Oh, dear.
394
00:21:58,220 --> 00:22:01,580
Poor old Gladys. She didn't last very
long, did she? One of the old blackies
395
00:22:01,580 --> 00:22:04,160
in the canteen today, then. Well,
whoever it is, she must be an
396
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:05,500
Yeah, let's go and have a butcher's
dinner.
397
00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:06,700
Well,
398
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:12,880
what's all this, then?
399
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:17,640
The management's decided to do away with
female help in the canteen.
400
00:22:19,820 --> 00:22:22,420
It was all my idea, actually.
401
00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:24,880
We'll replace women with machines.
402
00:22:25,620 --> 00:22:27,020
This is absolutely ridiculous.
403
00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:28,520
Go on, mate.
404
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:31,300
Exert your fatal charms on them, go on.
405
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:36,760
I suppose we're better, Jack. Go on. Put
your money in there, mate. See if
406
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:37,840
you're going to double help me out of
that.
407
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:53,040
You've got the machine?
408
00:22:53,100 --> 00:22:54,860
What's the matter with it? It won't take
my money.
409
00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:56,660
It's got more sense than humans, hasn't
it?
410
00:22:58,720 --> 00:22:59,720
Inspector Blade?
411
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:03,620
Yes, yes. I've been sent from the
vending machine company. I'm here to
412
00:23:03,620 --> 00:23:04,319
your machine.
413
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:05,400
Is everything all right?
414
00:23:05,740 --> 00:23:06,699
Oh, yes.
415
00:23:06,700 --> 00:23:10,040
No, it's not, miss. No, it's not, miss.
This machine keeps rejecting my money.
416
00:23:10,340 --> 00:23:11,800
Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Just a minute.
417
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:13,179
Here you are.
418
00:23:13,180 --> 00:23:14,139
Hey, Stan.
419
00:23:14,140 --> 00:23:16,760
It's going to be very nice having a
pretty bird around while we're eating
420
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:19,940
grub, isn't it? I hope the machines go
wrong often, darling.
421
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:25,580
I'm afraid your coin was a bit bent. It
rejects bank coins. Did you want a pie?
422
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:26,840
Yes, please.
423
00:23:26,940 --> 00:23:28,080
Meat pie, please, love.
424
00:23:33,660 --> 00:23:34,960
Meat? Here.
425
00:23:35,860 --> 00:23:37,900
Take these with a compliment to the
company.
426
00:23:40,260 --> 00:23:44,280
No trouble with bank coins. Just you get
in touch with me.
427
00:23:47,660 --> 00:23:49,320
I'm sorry for you there, Charlie.
428
00:23:49,580 --> 00:23:50,580
I tell you...
429
00:23:50,730 --> 00:23:53,930
mate, when we've eaten these, how about
going in the machine shop and start
430
00:23:53,930 --> 00:23:54,930
bending some coin?
32042
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