Original subtitles

Is that you?

Hi, Mum.

Hello, love.

Hi, Mum.

Here, where have you been? You're never so late.

Of course he's late. He came home by bus.

We had ours about two hours ago.

Oh, blimey, Olive's still eating.

Well, if we started a meal two hours ago, of course he's still eating.

I kept yours warm, love. Here, what kept you so late?

Well, they put us on a late duty, you see. I tried to phone you. I couldn't

through on the phone. Must be something wrong with it. I'm going to get through

to the exchange about it.

I think they'd already know, mate.

They were the ones who cut it off.

What a blimmin' cheek.

The final demand only came in three weeks ago.

I'm not going to give a right piece of my mind, mate. You watch this, mate. My

dear man, when they cut it off, they cut it off at both ends.

That was ridiculous.

Mum, why didn't you pay the phone bill?

Because I haven't got enough money.

Everything keeps going up.

Right you are. I'm reduced to rolling me own.

Blimey, I wonder what that stink was.

It's not my cigarette, mate.

Happens to be your dinner.

Here, I'll have... There's your food.

What's this?

A kipper.

I can see it's a kipper.

Is this all I've got? Well, I can't give you meat every night.

You can tell our rivers have been polluted.

Dear fellow, kippers come out of the sea.

Oh, this one's straight a bit, mate. Smell it.

Well, I've been keeping it on for a long time.

That one was up when they caught it.

Mum, you've got to spend a bit more money on food, that's all. And another

thing, you'll pay the telephone bill. I am not paying any telephone bill until

something is done about this room.

What do you mean?

What's wrong with it? What's wrong? Look at that chair. Look at it. Look at it.

Look at the state of it. All creased and dirty.

And look at all them grease marks and stains.

Yeah, that was all caused by Olive.

You always blame me for everything. Let me show you something. Yeah, go on,

love. You show it.

See that? That was done by your hair.

I didn't do that.

Olive is perfectly correct for once.

That was caused by all the muck you insist on putting on your hair.

What's the matter with you? Jealous?

There's no need to get personal, mate. How typical of you. Every time you're in

the room, you get personal.

Your hair is a puppet menace.

Like those great oil tankers discharging their fuel for all over the place.

You're polluting our environment.

Listen, mate, that grease has come from your greasy bun.

The word is gulp, and it doesn't happen to be greasy.

I tell you what, mate, it's that greasy, I'm surprised your cap don't keep

slipping off.

Look, Mum, what...

Why don't you send it to the cleaners or something? They'll get the worst of the

grease off. I sent it to the cleaners and she wouldn't do it.

Why not?

She said the grease was what was holding it together.

Surely you and Olive could make some covers or something. They wouldn't cost

much. It's a waste of time, love.

There's nothing to support it. Here, Olive, show him. Take the cover off. Go

let him have a look. There you are.

It is a bit rough, isn't it?

Look at all that stuffing coming out there. Get out of here! Get away!

What?

I don't know what you're cribbing about, darling. Blimey, you're well up most of

the night, aren't you?

Don't be so foul.

I'll tell you what we ought to do. What? Get rid of the chair and let's all sit

on Olive.

Get your hands off me. Look, there's a spring rock come through there.

I sat on that this morning and it scratched me right there.

I showed it to Arthur when we got up, didn't I, Arthur?

Yeah.

Wasn't it horrible?

It certainly was.

Well, something's got to be done. We can't live like this.

Well, I for one can. Can't afford new chairs. He'll have to stay if you do.

He's right, Mum. I mean, if you have to, you can live with anything. Can't you,

Arthur?

Yeah.

I'm making enough sacrifices as it is. Well, I can tell you this. I'm not

any telephone bill till all these chairs are recovered.

Here, Stan, can't you give me a bit more?

Me? Yeah. Well, you just had a raise. You can chip in.

Look, mate, when we had a rise, I got less money.

When we had the rise, the fares went up, right?

As soon as the fares went up, all the people stopped travelling on the buses.

So we didn't get any overtime.

Now, the union reckons we ought to put in for another rise to compensate us for

our last increase.

Well, I don't understand it. No, of course you don't, Mum.

Here, I'll tell you what I can do. We have what we call an emergency duty down

there.

Now, I'll put my name down for that because that's work for you, Bob.

Oh, that's lovely. Now, here, then I can go out tomorrow and choose the

material. You can't choose anything of the sort.

Any extra money I get is going to pay that telephone bill.

Oh.

Here, I'll tell you what I might be able to do.

I might be able to scrounge a few bits and pieces that we use when we're

patching up the bus seat.

Oh, that's lovely material.

Now, don't get carried away.

Don't get carried away.

I'll ask old Joe, our upholsterer, and see what he can do for me.

What?

What's the matter? What's wrong?

Don't know.

Something's wrong with the bag.

You stupid great love, all that stuff you were thinking about, I'll be smoking

to stuff it.

How many chairs have you got to cover?

Well, I've got two big armchairs, about four small ones, you know. We only want

the bits and pieces left over.

Here, Joe, do you think this is the right material for it?

Are you kidding?

Made specially for the company, this, mate. Was it? That's our new pattern,

it? Yeah, that's smashing, isn't it?

That'll wear ten years in normal service. Yeah, and about three journeys

football special.

Within a month, this'll be covered in grief, muck, dogs, cats, food stains,

you name it, it'll have it.

In his house, it'll be like that in a week.

Ah, don't worry.

I'll sort something out for you. Right.

Here. How are you going to get it out of the depot? Ah, well, we're due out in

about ten -two. Now, the inspector goes for his lunch just before that, so as

soon as he's clear, Stan will give you a shout and he'll whip the stuff out of

him. Yeah, I'll give you a shout.

OK.

Step over.

Yeah, right.

God, isn't it a shame, eh? When you think of that beautiful material like

those hooligans just slashing it up like that.

You know what? They've got no respect for the law, have they?

By the way, Joe, don't forget to wrap it up well so nobody sees it.

Hello, gorgeous.

You're early, aren't you?

You're not due out for another five minutes.

No, we're turning over a new leaf, aren't we, Jack?

Yeah. Well, you've got to get rid of conscience, have you?

You don't know the meaning of the word, do you? No, well, I'm off for my lunch.

Oh, better check your ticket machine while I'm at it.

What's all that in, Adolf, then? Well, there's been a lot of dishonesty lately

and the management's tightening up a bit.

Not that that should worry you drivers.

You don't have nothing to knock off, do you?

No, no.

Because if you did, we'd be short of a few buses, wouldn't we?

Anyway,

I'm off for my lunch now.

You'll get that bus out in four minutes, yeah?

Come on.

Get down the stairs.

Joe! Okay, mate.

Yeah, come on, it's all clear.

Here.

How many places here? Only one.

Only one?

Yeah, but it's five yards long.

Oh, blimey.

Arnie, what's the leftovers?

Well, it was.

I left it over when I covered the last seat.

Now, look, it's yours. I'm off. And if anything's said, count me out. I don't

know a thing. No, no, it's too big. I don't want it. Take it back, take it

take it back. What? Look, I'm off to lunch.

You asked for it.

You got it.

I can't put this in the cab.

No, we'll stick it in the back here. Come on.

Just have it in there.

That's it. Get the bus out. Come on.

I'm supposed to be going out for my lunch now, but I do regret it. I thought

were supposed to have got me lunch.

I've been looking for them all over the place. Are you sure this is the bus

where you lost your earring? Oh, yes, yes, it is. It was half an hour late in

the high street.

And the conductor had a sort of shifty -looking face with big teeth.

Socks.

Yeah, sexy.

That's Harper, all right. That's Jack Harper, all right.

Well, which part of the bus were you on when you think you lost your earring?

Well, I was standing at the front at first, and then I went and sat at the

Well, I'll give a thorough search here. Have you got the other earring to see

what I'm, you know, I can go on saying what I'm looking for, then? I can't

promise you that I'll find anything, mind you.

No, we hope not.

Come on, let's get it out the back.

Quick, go on, get it out.

What am I going to do with it? What am I going to do? Get in the loo. Hey, get

in the loo.

How are you?

How's it going, Ben?

Oh, Tom, Tom, you'll never get five yards around the bend.

Here, shove it through the window.

Don't be an idiot. There's bars up there, mate.

Oh, blimey, I never noticed that before.

No, but if we've got, mate, you're going to see a lot of them. All right,

I'll...

Of course he won't. Well, look, mate, I know he's not human, but he has to come

and have a look.

He'll be sent when he's searching the bus.

Here, I've got an idea. What are you going to do?

Oh, dear, mate, if we're caught with this lot, we're going to get the chop.

Do you mean I'm going to get the chop?

Come on, do it.

Come on, do it.

an Egyptian mummy.

I feel more like a pregnant mummy.

Put your arm down. You're

pulling me up.

I'm not a rag doll, mate.

That's it. Do the buttons up.

Hold it with your hands. Go on.

That's it. It's lovely.

Inspector. Inspector, it's all right. I found my earring. Oh, good. Where?

In my shopping.

Oh, I do hope I haven't caused you any inconvenience. Oh, no,

no, no. No inconvenience at all, madam, no. Oh, well, thank you anyhow. Thank

you very much indeed.

Eh?

What are you two thinking?

You look a bit bulky, don't you?

Yeah, well, he just had to pop in the loo and put on a couple of extra

He's got very bad cold, haven't you?

Yeah. Are you all right, Butler?

You're all shaking and trembling.

He's broken out in a cold sweat, look.

Yeah, well, that's because he's got a sweaty cold.

He's all bunged up, haven't you? Oh, yeah, yeah. He's bunged up, all right.

Don't get near me, Blake. You've got a shocker coat in the head.

I don't want to give you my germs, see. It's all up in the air, isn't it? I can

feel it all around me eyes. I think

you'd

better be put on a relief driver on that bus. I think you're not fit to drive.

You'd better go and see the doctor with me back there. No, no.

I must get the bus out. I must get the bus out.

You must? Yeah.

What's all this sudden devotion to duty, then?

You must be delirious as well, eh? No, I must, I must.

I must. All right, you must. I must. No, you mustn't. I must. I must. I mustn't.

I mustn't.

I mustn't. I mustn't. I mustn't. You know what you're got me more talking

now. Delirious. It's just cold coming out, you see. It sneezes a lot, don't

You sneeze. You sneeze.

I've got another one coming up.

It's you!

Because you know what you always say to me, Butler? I hate you, Butler.

You've got to get that bus out on time.

So I'll get it out now, see?

There you are, love. I've made you a nice pot of tea.

Yeah. Oh, I shouldn't do any more tonight, love. It's after 11 o 'clock.

Look, Mum, I've been at it all the week. I'm telling you something.

I'm finishing it off tonight.

No, I think Mum's right. I've had enough. I'm going to turn in.

Oh, yes, Arthur. I'm ready for bed.

Well, on second thought, perhaps Stan's right.

Oh. Oh, well, I'll finish this cushion, then.

Stan, are you sure it's all right? I mean, I'm so worried. All this lovely

material. It's only supposed to be for the bathies. Look, don't worry about it,

Mum. Jack said it's all right. All the fellas have a bath, you know. Besides,

it's only the odds and ends we take.

As a matter of fact, old Nobby's furnished all his house with it.

He's even used some of it to wallpaper his toilet.

Yes, but, love, suppose somebody from the depot come and saw it.

Well, look, the general manager's not exactly coming to tea, is he?

Besides, by the time Olive's finished putting stains over it, you'll never

recognise it.

Oh, I hope it'll stand up to your mucky hair.

Blimey, darling, I was only joking with you. What's the matter with you? All I'm

trying to say is this is very expensive material.

But it lasts years.

Last years. As a matter of fact, ten years it'll last, they tell me. And you

even use it as a carpet.

Oh, yes, I know, love. Look.

I made a lovely little thing for the watsit.

Oh, that's nice. Yeah, that's good. Yes.

Now when you get out of bed in the middle of the night, you won't get your

cold.

It's not me feet I'm worried about.

Haven't you got a bit that's big enough for the seat?

I mean, you're in and out there so often, I wouldn't have thought he'd get

chance to get cold.

It's not true. Oh, now, now, he's only joking. Here, love, go on. Nip upstairs

and see how it fits.

There you are.

What can I do with this bit?

Well, why don't you fold it in half so it'll make a nice tea coating?

Oh, yes.

Oh,

no.

Oh, I don't think I could have the same thing round the teapot as I've got round

the loo.

That's all right, as long as you don't get one mixed up with the other.

Right, that's it.

That's it. Let's see how it goes, heart.

I think it goes that way. Look at that. That looks smashing, doesn't it? Yeah,

nice.

Right, that's that one done. I'm going to have a cup of tea first.

Well, there's your tea there, love.

This one?

Yeah.

Here.

Is there a car pulled up outside?

Yeah. Must be the bloke next door.

It's me, Inspector Blake. I'm sorry to call in at this late hour, but I must

your brother's stand urgently.

Here.

It's the inspector.

Lovey. Oh, she don't let him in here. He mustn't see this stuff.

I'm sorry, but it's an emergency.

I must hear him right away.

Good evening.

I did.

I'm sorry.

Ah, yes.

Well, British Rail have had a breakdown at the junction and I've got to put on

ten extra buses and a shuttle service from midnight.

Are you all right, Butler?

Yes, yes.

Just got a touch of a cramp!

Pardon my intrusion, Mrs Butler, but...

I did try and raise your son on the telephone, but I'm afraid your phone's

of order, you know. Oh, is it?

Disgusting. If I was you, I wouldn't pay the bill.

We won't.

You did put your name down for this emergency, do you? You'd better come

with me, make it a bit slippy, because we've got another seven drivers we've

to pick up now. All right, Blakey, I'll do that straight away. I'll just finish

my cup of tea.

Do you mind passing me the cup?

Well, I can't reach you from here, can I? You know.

Oh, come on, get your coat on and come on. Oh, Inspector, would you like a cup

of tea? Sit down, Mum, sit down.

Well, I didn't have time for it anyway, actually.

Well, come on, you put your name down for the emergency duty.

Sure, sure, OK, then. But do you mind waiting outside?

Huh?

All right.

Oh, uh, Mrs Butler, uh...

I'm sorry to impinge upon you like this, but I have been on the go all evening.

I wonder if I might use your little room. Oh, yes, it's straight up the

Oh,

thank you very much.

Yes.

Oh, I thought it was wonderful.

Oh, I was on tenterhooks the whole time.

Blimey, if you were on tenterhooks, what do you mean I'm on? Look.

Don't you dare let him in here again.

Don't you worry about that, mate.

Oh, Stan.

Watch out.

If he's gone in the loo, he'll see me little Matt.

Oh, blimey.

No,

I've got a must -buy in there first.

You've been taken short, have you?

Yes, yes, I've got it.

Just taking my little new

Matt out.

What sort of a man do you think I am?

Go in there.

No, it's all right. Go and put your new backpack in there. I'll go in the road

behind the bushes.

I told you to go.

I mean, you don't want to explode, do you?

I forgot something.

What? Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Left me clipboard on the table.

Good night, all.

That was a bit of luck, wasn't it? What?

I nearly left it behind.

It was a bit of luck.

Morning, Mum. What's for breakfast?

What's going on?

What are you doing?

I'm sorry, love. I couldn't sleep with this stuff in the house.

out of the shop we had last night.

No, every time I sat on this chair it would prick my conscience.

Well, that's a funny place to keep your conscience, isn't it?

No, you're right, though. I must admit, I was worried.

It's not worth it. No.

I had a terrible dream last night. I dreamt they put Arthur in prison and he

could only see me once a month.

And they say crime doesn't pay.

I must confess, I was a bit worried.

I found it very difficult to sleep.

Oh, did you, love? You should have woken me up.

Darling, he said he was worried, not desperate.

Take these all out to the dustbin before the dustman calls. Come on.

I'm sorry, love. After all the hard work you put into it. Ah, it don't matter,

love. Didn't cost anything, did it? And you know what they say?

Easy come, easy go.

Oi, Maggie.

Oi. That shuttle service worked fine last night, didn't it, eh?

Very worthwhile.

Yes, very well worthwhile, yes.

You know, Butler, I was standing here just now watching one of our new buses

out. Was you really? And I suddenly remembered where I'd seen this material

before.

Looks very well on your furniture, doesn't it?

Yeah, well, mind you, it's only bits and pieces, you know.

I check with the stores, yeah.

It's five yards missing off the end of a roll.

Is that a fact?

Well, of course, I was going to pay for it, naturally.

I thought you'd say that.

They always do.

So I had a word with the general manager, and I had this purchase form

for the staff.

Well,

that's very kind of you, Blakey. Thank you very much. Yes, there's no profit,

you see.

It's five yards, eight pounds a yard.

Eight pounds a yard?

Yeah, but it's no profit, you see.

It's a bargain, isn't it?

But that's 40 quid.

Yes, well, we'll stop it at your wages.

Of course, we could sack you, you know. But that way we never get our money

back, do we?

That'd take months.

Yes, but think of all the lovely furniture you've got.

Just think, you couldn't buy that furniture anywhere.

Ah, I'm thinking.