Original subtitles

Two arrows, though.

Straight in. Oh, lovely.

Great darts player, isn't he? Well, he's got them, hasn't he?

It's Edna over there. She's crying.

What's wrong with her?

Listen, mate, don't get involved with a bird who turns on the waterworks.

The last time I went out with a bird who started crying, I got away as sharp as

I could.

Her old man was with a shotgun, that's why.

I've got to find out.

Hello,

Edna, darling.

What's up, love?

She's thrown me out of my room.

Oh. What for?

She's such a funny old gal.

And she says about my tithing. And she doesn't like my little doggie.

And then to crown it all, you didn't bring me up till after midnight last

So she threw me out this morning.

I haven't got anywhere to sleep tonight. Oh, now, don't cry, love. Don't cry.

Have you got a hanky? Yeah, there you are, darling.

No.

Use my tie.

Please don't. Oh, don't worry.

We'll think of something.

I've asked all the girls here. They don't know what to do. They can't help.

I'll have to write to my mum. She'll go, Mum!

Well, I've got to admit, you see, love, it's very difficult in this town.

She left me sitting all late there.

Butler. What?

I'd like a word with you, if I may. What about?

It's private.

All right. I won't be a minute, Edna.

I'm awfully sorry about this, my dear. I can't tell you how sorry I am, but

don't worry.

I'll see I'll keep you working right up until the last minute.

I hope and trust for your sake you're thinking of doing the right thing by

girl. Well, let's face it. Look, what can I do?

What do you do?

Yeah. I will not tolerate this sort of behaviour at the depot.

When did it happen?

This morning.

This morning?

That's ridiculous, but I mean, she takes a certain amount. What are you talking

about? Has the landlady heard about it? She chucked her straight out, mate.

And I know she's told me why she chucked her out, mate. Because she don't like

her little dog.

That's it.

I mean, let's face it, mate. It's very difficult to get digs in this town,

it?

Right. Now then, what do you want me to do?

What do you want me to do?

I'll tell you what I want you to do. I want to get in that bus and get it out.

That's what I want you to do.

Here, you don't know where we can get some digs, do you?

Poor old deadness, he's got chucked out of us. Ain't it a shame?

I tell you what, I wish I had the room. I mean, fancy having a bird like that

for a lodger, eh? Yeah.

She's a cracker, isn't she? Yeah.

Hey, I've got an idea.

What? You never use your front room. Why don't you tackle him?

I can't do that, really.

Listen, mate, after a couple of weeks, you'll be like brother and sister.

Blimey, I don't want it to be like brother and sister.

You know what I mean? I mean, what have you got to lose?

I mean, you've never got anywhere with her, now's your big chance.

Yeah. Shall I? Go on, mate.

Have a go.

You're all right.

Edna?

Yeah?

I've been thinking.

We've got a spare room in our house, and perhaps Mum would let you have that?

On what? Chief?

Yeah? Can I only pay three pounds a week rent?

Yeah, well, I think that could be all right. I think Mum would be quite happy

with that.

Oh, I'll be so grateful. I won't forget it. I promise you.

Well,

I think the whole idea is ridiculous.

We can't have a lodger in this house. The house isn't big enough.

We could do with the money.

I don't know what you're talking about, big enough. All the houses down the

street are the same, and they've all got a lodger. Yeah, well, they haven't got

Olive.

Look, mate.

We don't use the front room, right? I can sleep down in your camp bed and the

lads can take my room upstairs. That's my clever stand.

You mean to say you're willing to give up your room and sleep down here?

She's next to yours, mate. It'd be a pleasure.

What do you mean by that?

Those walls are filling a new thing. I'll tell you that, mate.

I can hear everything that goes on in your room.

Nothing goes on in our room.

What were you thinking of me? Look, let's... Stop it, Willie. We were

about lodgers, weren't we? Last week, you said to me we couldn't manage on the

money, right?

Right. Right, now then, if it's my room I'm going to give up, I don't see

anything to do with you whatsoever.

Anyway, I've practically promised it to somebody down at the depot.

Oh, well, I suppose if you've got someone in mind, I can't deny we could

the money.

I suppose we've just had to put up with this bloke.

Actually, it's not a bloke, you see. It's a clippy.

Clippy? Yeah.

We're going to have one of your birds living in this house. Oh, now.

There'll be no goings -on in my house.

Still, it would be rather nice to have a lady lodger, like having another

daughter. When I was expecting Olive, they thought she was going to be twins.

I think it's a reasonable assumption.

Now, now, shut up, the pair of you. Listen, I wouldn't mind having this

Here, how much would she pay?

Well, I said... The average round here is five pound a week.

Five quid?

said, if she gave us three quid, we'd be happy to have her. You mean you'd be

happy to have her?

Now, look, it's my room I'm giving up, right?

Now, then, I think we should take this clippy, and I think three pound a week's

a very fair price. Well, I'll tell you what we'll do, love. We'll try it for a

week, see how it works. Right. Of course, with somebody else in the house,

there's going to be a lot of wear and tear.

With her upstairs, him downstairs, the only thing get worn out's the stair car.

Now, I should stand to fix me up with a room in his house. Yeah, well, it was my

idea, you know.

Oh, was it? Well, it came in very handy. I don't know where I'd have slept

tonight. Well, I'd have thought of something.

Bet you wouldn't have given up your bed for me. Well, I'd have given up half of

it.

Anything for a friend, eh?

Oh, you are awful. Yeah, I know.

Yeah, Stan's off now. Is he taking you back to his place with him?

No, I've got another run on the number 10.

But he's gone to pick up my things for me. He's so sweet.

Oh, there he is.

Oh,

Stanley, you all right? Is it too much for you?

Ah, I could carry much more than this. Would you?

Yeah. Oh, well, then, I wonder if you mind taking Coco with you.

Who'd else Coco?

My little doggie. He's on his lead.

Yeah. All right, then, yeah.

Well, I'll go and get him. He's in the restroom. Oh, I'm having...

See that, see that? You lucky devil.

And that's only the beginning. Yeah, look off.

Heads up, there's Dracula.

What's all this then, Butler?

You're not emigrating, are you? Of course I ain't.

What a pity.

What's that you've got in here, you nigger?

It's not sure I'm here to tell you that what a fellow member of the union has in

his baggage has got nothing to do with you, nosy parker. No, but you must go

take it in to the clipper. She's staying at our house as a lodger.

Edna? Yeah.

Good grief.

Does a foremother know this?

A foremother? What's it got to do with you anyway?

Dave, here's my little dog.

Oh, dear.

He's only little, isn't he?

Yeah. I must rush down to you after that. Yeah, all right then.

Is that her dog?

Yeah. You know, I was worried about the poor girl's welfare.

Yeah.

Made my day this end.

Tell you what, here, give us a hand with some of this stuff. Sorry, mate, I'm

not going your way.

Tell you what, sling a saddle on him, he'll ride him over.

I'll get this number 14, it goes right at the bottom of my road. Come on, Coco.

Come on.

Come on.

Hey, hey,

hey. What, what? Where do you think you're going then? Well, this bus goes

at the bottom of my road, and I've got all this gear.

You're not taking that dog on the bus, mate.

Why not?

Well, the other passengers might object to that creature on the bus, mightn't

they? Well, they don't object when you get on.

Listen, I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll take him upstairs.

By the looks of him, you won't be taking him anywhere, mate.

Come on, get him off. You're not taking that dog on one of our buses. Get him

off. All right, then.

I'll walk, then. I'll walk.

Go on, mate. It'll be good for you, won't it?

God, this stupid bird.

Oh, I've got three miles to walk home, you know. Never mind, mate. Just think

what you've got waiting in store for you.

By the time I get this lot home, mate, I'll be too worn out.

I said it was a mistake having that girl in this house.

I mean, she's been in the bathroom over an hour.

Imposition. And you never told her she was bringing that enormous great hound?

Blimey, he ain't that big.

Well, I... Does she have to have it?

I think she ought to give it away.

She can't do that. Mumma's a special sort of a dog.

It's sort of part greyhound.

I presume the other part is Shetland pony.

Great fat lump.

Well, at least it makes Olive look slim.

Very humorous.

Lodger paying three pounds a week. I suppose she expects us to feed him.

Oh, well, he won't eat much, love.

I'll give him all the scraps.

I thought in this house the scraps were reserved for me.

It's a bit long in the bath.

No, you weren't all that long, darling.

Only one hour, 40 minutes.

Oh, was I really?

Oh, dear.

Still, I had a lovely bath. I'm blowing all over.

Are you really?

Oh, good, my nighties. I wanted a clean one. One of those new nylon ones. Do you

like it? It's dolly, isn't it?

Oh, Arthur doesn't like me to wear see -through nighties. He says they're not

nice. Well, I don't see the point when all you can see through is a long woolly

vest.

Here. It's not very warm, is it?

Here, I hope you're not going to be cold tonight.

Oh, no, I'm always lovely and warm in bed.

My type.

Oh, well, say goodnight then. I'll just take Coco up. Oh, here, are you having

the dog in your bedroom?

Oh, yes.

You see, living away from home, I get nervous at night.

Coco's a wonderful dog. If anyone creeps into my room, he'll bark and he'll wake

the whole house.

What are you laughing at?

That's your face.

You can bark at me.

No, well, I brought him home, didn't I? Nice dog.

Lovely dog.

Me friend.

Yes.

You see, what I was thinking, Edna, is that Mum doesn't like animals in the

bedroom, do you, Mum?

Well, no, love, not really.

No. In any case, I'm sleeping in the parlour, you see, so I mean, he won't be

lonely. No, he won't, will he? Oh, well, see you all in the morning. Good night,

Stan.

Good night.

Good night.

Well, perhaps we can get you in the bathroom now and off to bed.

Olive, you go first.

Good night, Stan. Good night, Mum. Yeah, good night, Olive. Well, it's getting

late, love. Now, listen, Stan, you've got everything down from your room

upstairs, haven't you? Yes, Mum. Because I don't want you going into that girl's

room just as she's gone to sleep.

As if I would.

And what does that mean?

My Stan has been brought up to respect his girlfriend.

He'll wait till after he's married, like Olive did.

And being married to you, I should think she's still waiting.

I'll remember that.

Well, look here, love, here's your pyjamas and there's your dressing gown.

trust me, old darling.

Righto. That's all right. Good night, Mum.

Good night, love.

Dad. Oh, Mrs Butler. Just to say that if Coco barks in the night, I'll be

straight down to see to him.

Oh. Oh, will you?

Well, you see, I know how to soothe you. Yes, yes, of course. So I'll be down,

all right? Yes. Yes, all right. Good night. Good night, Edna.

What a considerate girl.

I knew you'd like her, Mum. Yes, love.

Oh, Stan, look at your overcoat. All screwed up, dear. I can't see to it,

You fuss too much, don't you, my old darling?

Good night, then. Good night, love. God bless you. Yeah, God bless, darling. Be

a good boy.

You've caught me neat.

Yes.

Oh.

See what this looks like, eh?

Of, er,

Edna Badalinga.

I love you.

I fancied you, Edna, from the very first time I saw you.

What do you think you're going as?

What the hell are you doing down here?

I came down to get on his chill play night, my mate.

A new pyjamas. Give it some here.

Playboy pyjamas.

Right where women can't resist guaranteed crease proof.

Listen, we happen to have a lodger in this house and I've got a little bit of

respect, mate. I don't want her coming down in the morning and seeing me in

these rotten old things. Look at them. They're all worn out.

When you come down to breakfast in the morning, you'll probably be worn out.

Well, that's more not than safe for you, mate.

So lay off of Edna, will you? And remember this. I'm sleeping down here

she's upstairs.

And another thing. She's a very nice girl.

Ha!

Parading around in that skimpy dressing gown with nothing on underneath.

Oh.

You noticed it, did you?

I did happen to notice it.

Smashing, wasn't it?

Perfection. I got you going, didn't I?

Yeah,

I must have been.

Well, take your tube lane, I'm going to get back up tomorrow.

I'll tell you something, mate. I'll catch you parading round that landing

tonight. That fancy piece of yours will be out in the rear in the morning.

Well, then.

You're jealous!

Good night, Ollie.

Good night, Ollie.

Arthur. Arthur.

Wake up, Arthur. I'll shower, go to sleep.

Arthur, wake up. Please, please, Arthur. Will you give over? I've got a hard day

tomorrow.

What's all the row about?

This son of yours was trying to get into that young lady's room.

Oh, hey.

I was doing nothing of the sort. What happened, Mum? You see, I came up to go

the watch set, you know, and I was a bit sleepy, and at the force of habit, I

just went to go into my own room.

Oh, well, that's different, isn't it?

It's a good job Arthur saw you. Yeah. Could have been very embarrassing.

Imagine what would have happened if he hadn't stopped you.

I am.

Sleep well.

He will.

I've got a little chat with you, mate.

Look, it's a bit dodgy up there, see?

Now... She said, if you bark, she'll come down and look after you. So, come

son, get cracking, get barking.

Go on, bark.

What's the matter with you? Bark.

You know how to do it. Open your mouth and go, woof, go on.

I'll blow you as stubborn as art.

Never mind, I'll do it myself. Hang on.

awake is that blasted dog.

I was woofing.

I've got it, mate. I've got it. You were trying to entice that young lady down

there, weren't you? Don't be ridiculous. No.

The dog was lonely.

What were you doing?

Conversing with him?

No. Is this the matter with Coco?

Why, I'm sorry he's woken you all up.

What's all the row about? What's going on? It's all right now, Mum. It's all

right now, Mum. No. Now, Edna's here. She can look after him.

Almost human.

Well, don't embark in all night. I think you'd better take him upstairs with

you, love.

Anyway, Stan would be much happier if he's upstairs with you. No, Mum.

I do so agree.

I mean, with him down here, our poor Stan won't get a good night's sleep,

he? No, come on, darling.

Well, good night, all. Good night, Edna. Good night, Stan. Good night.

Good night, lover boy.

Here.

Bob, will you take a couple of those?

What are these?

Olive's sleeping tablets.

Hey, I messed up last night, son.

But I've got it all organised. I won't mess it up tonight, I tell you.

Oh, hello, Stan.

Hello, Jack. What are you doing here? I thought you got the pictures for the

rest of the family.

I've got it all organised tonight, mate.

I said to her, Edna couldn't, you know, I look after the dog so Edna can go out.

And I'm getting more friendly with him all the time.

Yeah, well, I wouldn't get too excited, mate, because Edna is going out.

Is she?

Yeah, she's going out with me.

What are we talking about, going out with you? Well, I mean, she told me what

happened, you know, how she was in her room all night and you never even gave

her a goodnight kiss, so... Oh, well, blimey, with Arthur and the old lady, I

couldn't do much about it, but tonight I've got... There you are, Jack.

Oh, Stan, it's everything sweet of you to offer to look after Coco tonight.

Yeah, well, come on, darling, we mustn't be late. You got your padlock here,

have you? Yes, Mrs Butler gave it to me. Jack's promised me a fabulous evening.

Goodnight, Stan.

Have you seen it?

Where's she going?

Nowhere. You see, my family's going out as well, so we've got an empty house to

ourselves.

Well, goodnight, Sam.

I hope you like the television, mate, because that's all we're going to get

tonight.

Bye -bye.