Original subtitles

This is good.

All right.

Why do I have to go to bed so early?

It's really not that early.

Just hang out, look at your phone, and you'll fall asleep soon.

It's daytime outside still. It's almost dark.

It's not that early.

Right? I don't want to go to bed yet.

Well, you kind of got to go to bed, like now.

Why? It's gonna stay in here and you gotta be quiet, alright?

Why?

Because I have a friend coming over.

Who?

Just a friend.

Never mind. You won't even know they're here.

Okay? A guy?

Yeah.

Are you gonna have sex with him?

No.

What are you guys going to do?

We're just going to hang out. Listen, hey, did you get to do everything you

wanted to do today?

Yeah. Okay, what did you get to do?

I got to play video games.

Okay. For like eight hours.

For like eight hours.

Yeah. Exactly.

Listen, I'm your mom's best friend. She left me in charge here.

And now, I let you do what you wanted to do, right?

Yeah. Okay. For eight hours.

Yeah. Yeah. All right.

I'm going to be, like, so mad. I know. Exactly.

So she doesn't even have to know about that.

Remember?

Oh, yeah. I'm going to keep a secret. I'm going to keep a secret for you.

Okay. Okay?

So you never need to know about that.

I have to go to bed really early. I know. You have to go to bed. It's not

early.

All right?

Okay.

Okay. Stay in here.

Be quiet.

And go to sleep.

All right?

All right.

Just, you gotta tell me a story, though, first.

I'm gonna tell you a story. A bedtime story.

A bedtime story? Come on.

My mom always tells me a bedtime story when I go to sleep.

She does not.

Yes, she does. She's a darling.

I'm not.

A bedtime story? Yeah, tell me a bedtime story. I won't be able to fall asleep

if you don't tell me a bedtime story.

That's ridiculous.

A bedtime story.

Okay.

Seriously? Yeah.

And then you're gonna be quiet, right?

so so once upon a time

there was a prince right

was he handsome yeah all princes are handsome right

yeah usually and and he had to rescue a princess Did he have,

like, a sword?

Sure.

How big was it?

Huge.

Did he have to use, like, both hands when he used it?

All the time.

Oh, okay.

Okay. Are we moving on now?

Yeah. All right.

Is that enough story?

I can go?

Yes. All right.

That's it?

No, you keep going on the story. You didn't say anything yet. I just... i

i don't need to know anything else about the sword all right so the

prince had to rescue this princess because pretty she was gorgeous

he was handsome she was gorgeous he had a big sword all right so um did she have

big boobs probably nice keep going and

She was kidnapped and she needed rescuing. That's why the prince is after

She needed rescuing because, well, because an

evil, evil magician, sorcerer guy kidnapped her.

A wizard?

Yeah, like that. Sure.

Oh, yeah.

And then he captured her and he...

Locked her inside a castle at the very top of the tower and wouldn't let her

out.

Why did he do that?

Because he was evil. Oh.

And then... And then the prince had to

break down the castle walls.

And when he did, there was a big evil dragon.

And he got to use his big sword.

And he fought his way all the way up to the top of the castle.

Wait, did he kill the dragon?

Well, he fought his way all the way up to the top of the castle and fought the

dragon.

And yeah, he killed the dragon because that's a big sword, right?

But the dragon was big, probably.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But then, I don't know.

but then but then the wizard was at the top right the evil wizard with the

princess yeah he was up there oh yeah he was gonna you know keep her and stuff

but um so he cast the spell and um he threw the

the prince over the castle walls and he died what

The prince fell out of the castle? Mm -hmm. And he died?

Yeah.

And then what happened?

Well, the princess, she kind of liked it there, and the evil wizard, he was not

so bad after he got to know him, so she stayed.

Okay. That's really sad.

The end.

That's not how a story's supposed to end.

That's my story.

All right. You.

okay well now yeah well okay well that was not a good story but

okay i'm ready just do the thing and then i'll go i'll go to sleep okay the

thing yeah the thing what thing

what the thing the thing yeah

what

the thing there it is the thing yeah yeah okay so this just got really weird

um it's not weird it's weird yeah like that you're like

that's how i fall asleep my mom does it every night

you're full of no i'm serious i

feel like you know

And the stuff comes out, and then I go to sleep.

She says I'm not allowed to do it myself.

What? Well, I tried to do it myself one time, and, like, I, like, almost had to

go to the hospital. So she just does it.

Um, yeah.

So I'm not doing that.

Why am I supposed to fall asleep?

Look at your phone.

you count sheep i don't know and then you just go to sleep

no you gotta do a thing i'm not doing the thing all right well i'm not gonna

go to sleep then look look watch here you do the thing look there's here's

hand here's your hand now look there see go like this you

do the thing okay there there there's the thing

It feels weird.

I don't like it.

You do it.

This is not part of the job.

Alright, why am I going to fall asleep if you don't do it? I'm just saying.

Oh my god.

I was just like... I don't know.

I thought I was just doing exercises or something.

That would make a lot of noise.

Yeah. I cannot be making noise.

I don't understand what the big deal is.

I don't just lose it. It's like... If I do the thing, you go to sleep and you

leave me alone, right?

Yeah, I promise.

You don't tell my secret and I don't tell yours?

Yeah.

How long does this normally last?

Not very long.

Oh, yeah.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

That was not part of the description of the... Oh, well, my mom already has hers

out already.

That's part of it.

She has all these out.

That makes it... Oh, my God.

All right.

Are we almost done?

Yeah, I think so.

Let's do this faster.

This happens every night?

Yeah.

With your mom's chintz up.

I mean, she like usually puts her mouth on it too.

No, not every night, but sometimes.

Well, I'm not putting my mouth on it.

Okay.

Here, give me your hand. You can do this. You can do this. Give me your

See?

You are capable.

Come on.

See? That's how you gotta do. This feels terrible when I do it.

Oh, well.

Maybe you should get a girlfriend.

Do you want a girlfriend?

Hmm? Do you want a girlfriend?

What was I saying?

All right, so he's going to be here soon. Can we get this moving?

Well, I mean, if you put your mouth on it, it definitely would make it go fast.

My mom does that. It goes really fast.

You want to come now? Yeah.

Okay, good.

Wait,

I like doing it like this better.

Wait, what are you doing? What are you doing?

What are you doing? Like this.

What?

Come on.

That's like doing it like my mom does.

Mm -hmm.

Don't touch your bubble.

Your pussy's wet.

You should let me put it in there.

Look, it's wet because I've been thinking about my boyfriend, okay?

He's coming over.

Okay. Can we just finish this so I can go, you know?

Let me just stick it in there.

What? Let me just stick it in there.

No.

No.

Look.

You said to do the thing. I did the thing.

And that wasn't good enough. And then you said you have to do this other

So I did that thing. Now that's not good enough. You're not putting it in my

pussy.

Yeah, but that would like. Let me just suck you off so you can come and review

that one.

My mom won't let me do that with her, but she said maybe soon, if I'm good.

Yeah, this is the best.

Okay.

Are we done with this now?

Almost.

oh yeah yeah i'm gonna do it

Yeah, you're not gonna come yet?

No, I haven't pulled out one more.

Alright.