Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,102 --> 00:00:03,737
The League.
All new, Wednesdays at 10:00.
2
00:00:03,771 --> 00:00:05,973
Only on FXX.
3
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:10,844
FX presents Married.
4
00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:30,131
The pasta primavera.
5
00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:35,069
This is chicken.
6
00:00:35,103 --> 00:00:36,404
(short sigh)
7
00:00:36,437 --> 00:00:38,906
I'm so sorry.
8
00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:40,040
This is fine.
Don't worry.
9
00:00:40,074 --> 00:00:41,041
I'll take care of you.
10
00:00:41,075 --> 00:00:42,376
I'm counting on it.
11
00:00:46,747 --> 00:00:49,717
The primavera.
12
00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:51,952
Funny.
Excuse me?
13
00:00:53,154 --> 00:00:54,388
Ah...
14
00:00:54,422 --> 00:00:56,090
This is not my fault.
I swear.
15
00:00:56,124 --> 00:00:57,591
It's okay.
16
00:00:57,625 --> 00:00:59,360
I'll just settle
for the chicken.
17
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:00,461
I don't want you to settle.
18
00:01:00,494 --> 00:01:02,062
Then you eat it.
19
00:01:02,096 --> 00:01:03,397
Would that
make you happy?
20
00:01:03,431 --> 00:01:04,665
Very.
21
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:08,736
How about a roll?
22
00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:12,240
Russ...
23
00:01:12,273 --> 00:01:14,908
(echoes): Russ...
RUSS: Uh...
24
00:01:14,942 --> 00:01:18,912
Russ! Did you eat all
these rolls last night?
25
00:01:20,148 --> 00:01:22,082
You were night eating again.
26
00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:23,784
Oh, shit.
27
00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:31,459
MIRANDA:
Am I driving
28
00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:34,262
or are we taking
separate cars?
What?
29
00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:36,930
Sergio and Mike's-- they're
having a tequila tasting.
30
00:01:36,964 --> 00:01:38,266
Oof. Yeah, I already know
31
00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:39,633
what tequila tastes like.
32
00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:41,101
Although, you know what,
I've never
33
00:01:41,135 --> 00:01:42,903
had it served to me
by a couple of douche bags.
34
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,938
We're going.
35
00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:46,940
No, I can't.
36
00:01:46,974 --> 00:01:48,776
Lina is going out tonight
and I told her I'd cover.
37
00:01:48,809 --> 00:01:52,580
Look, the guys made me promise
38
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,815
that I would
bring you with me, so...
39
00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:56,417
Why do they care if I come?
40
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:58,752
They want to talk business.
41
00:01:58,786 --> 00:01:59,987
Secret business.
42
00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:02,290
Oh, that sounds terrible.
43
00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:08,061
Whoa.
44
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:13,501
If I Uber right now,
would you be able to get my car
45
00:02:13,534 --> 00:02:15,269
back to the office
in the morning?
46
00:02:15,303 --> 00:02:17,971
I am off the clock,
boss man.
Ugh.
47
00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:19,973
Come on.
Sorry about it.
48
00:02:20,007 --> 00:02:21,475
(laughs softly)
Oh...
49
00:02:21,509 --> 00:02:23,611
Hey, hey. Hey.
Hey, hey, hey, bro.
50
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,813
You got to check
this shit out.
Okay, back down.
51
00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:27,481
It's an old bank on Olympic.
52
00:02:27,515 --> 00:02:29,383
We just signed the lease.
Mike and I.
53
00:02:29,417 --> 00:02:32,119
You guys are gonna go
into banking?
54
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,322
No, we're gonna convert it
into a design space.
55
00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:36,224
We're starting our own firm.
56
00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:38,792
So you're quitting?
Did you show
him the vault?
57
00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:40,294
Not yet, man.
What the hell, man?
58
00:02:40,328 --> 00:02:41,962
Show him the vault.
All right.
59
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,030
You see this
giant metal door?
60
00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:44,232
Yeah.
That's the vault
61
00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:46,033
where they used
to keep all the cash.
62
00:02:46,066 --> 00:02:49,670
And that's where Mike and I
are gonna have our desks.
63
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:51,405
MIRANDA:
How cool is that?
64
00:02:51,439 --> 00:02:53,140
That's so... that's awesome.
65
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:55,142
Listen, Russ, we're big
fans of what you do,
66
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,545
think you're an
amazing designer,
67
00:02:57,578 --> 00:03:00,581
and we also think there's room
for a third desk in that vault.
68
00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:09,189
RUSS:
Let me ask you something.
Hypothetically,
69
00:03:09,223 --> 00:03:11,925
is there... any
chance that we could
70
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:14,595
get health insurance
through the school district?
71
00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:16,330
(snorts, chuckles)
72
00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:19,500
Look, I doubt I'll even
make it to the end of the year.
73
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,702
Budget cuts.
74
00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:24,104
Second grade is cutting back
to only one T.A.,
75
00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:26,740
so it's between me
and a guy who gives a shit.
76
00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:29,610
(wry laugh)
77
00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:31,912
Unbelievable.
78
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:34,248
You're not even gonna try?
79
00:03:34,282 --> 00:03:36,550
He plays guitar.
So what?
80
00:03:36,584 --> 00:03:38,352
Since when do you care
about my job, anyway?
81
00:03:38,386 --> 00:03:40,921
You're always saying
I can quit whenever I want.
82
00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:42,956
Well, yeah.
You can. I just...
83
00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:44,892
What if I wanted to switch
things up, you know?
84
00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:46,927
Like take a chance or a risk
85
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:49,363
and-and do something different,
86
00:03:49,397 --> 00:03:51,632
you know, that's
more fulfilling?
87
00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:53,767
Do you?
I don't know.
88
00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:55,969
It doesn't matter, you know?
89
00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:58,238
If you can't keep a job,
what's the point?
90
00:04:00,408 --> 00:04:03,076
(doorbell rings)
91
00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:05,145
RUSS:
Hey.
92
00:04:05,178 --> 00:04:06,547
Hey, sorry we're late.
93
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:08,081
Abby and I were fighting.
94
00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:09,917
We're not fighting.
95
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,919
I am.
96
00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:13,821
Hey, did you know that Abby
thinks it's okay
97
00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:15,789
to lie to someone that you're
in a relationship with?
98
00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:18,459
I didn't lie.
I just forgot
99
00:04:18,492 --> 00:04:19,960
to tell him that my
parents were visiting.
100
00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:21,462
And I had to find out
from a seven-year-old,
101
00:04:21,495 --> 00:04:23,230
like I'm some kind of asshole.
102
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,499
I really feel like Russ and Lina
don't want to listen to us
103
00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:27,435
fight right now.
Are you kidding?
Do you know
104
00:04:27,468 --> 00:04:29,937
how many of their stupid fights
I've had to listen to?
105
00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:31,104
We don't fight
in front of you.
106
00:04:31,138 --> 00:04:32,673
Oh, really?
No.
107
00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:35,142
Okay.
Grandma's ashes.
108
00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:36,644
Too many shoes.
109
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:38,312
Universal remote.
Should I go on?
110
00:04:38,346 --> 00:04:39,780
I think we got it.
That's not even...
111
00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:41,148
Not enough coasters.
Okay.
112
00:04:41,181 --> 00:04:42,783
Fridge versus freezer.
113
00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:44,117
LINA:
Abby really cares about you.
114
00:04:44,151 --> 00:04:46,420
Maybe she shouldn't
have lied to me.
115
00:04:46,454 --> 00:04:47,988
If I were you,
I wouldn't push it.
116
00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:49,256
Too late.
117
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,325
Already demanded a brunch.
118
00:04:51,359 --> 00:04:53,093
Do you really think
that's a good idea?
119
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,428
Relax.
120
00:04:54,462 --> 00:04:55,463
They're gonna love me.
121
00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:57,130
(grunts)
122
00:04:57,164 --> 00:05:00,033
I wish I had your confidence.
Hey, between
123
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:01,535
breast-feeding and gravity,
124
00:05:01,569 --> 00:05:03,504
you have nothing
to be ashamed of.
125
00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:06,474
I was talking about my job.
Oh.
126
00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:07,608
What's going on?
127
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,477
If I don't step up my game,
128
00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:11,211
they're not gonna
bring me back next year.
129
00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:13,013
So step it up.
130
00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:14,682
Believe me. I tried
to step it up.
131
00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:16,149
I even
brought in a worm.
132
00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:17,851
(laughs)
133
00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:20,187
I think you have to think
a little bigger than that.
134
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:23,824
What if you invited
a celebrity into the class?
135
00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:25,659
Or maybe...
136
00:05:25,693 --> 00:05:28,496
the author of a hopefully
137
00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:31,031
soon-to-be best-selling
children's book?
138
00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:32,400
You?
139
00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:34,635
I could read Farmer Todd.
140
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:38,138
If the kids didn't respond
to Ethel Worman,
141
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:41,308
they're probably not gonna be
into a dude reading a book.
142
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,911
What if we jazzed it up
a little?
143
00:05:46,514 --> 00:05:50,017
Farmer Todd Has a Problem
is going to Broadway.
144
00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:53,320
But first we're workshopping it
at Valley Palms Elementary.
145
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,922
As a play?
146
00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:56,657
As an adorable,
socially relevant
147
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,426
piece of edu-tainment.
148
00:05:58,459 --> 00:05:59,993
(laughs)
149
00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:02,663
That's great.
Oh, that's great. Um...
150
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,865
listen, when my parents
get here, maybe don't talk
151
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:08,335
about Farmer Todd or your
drinking or, you know,
152
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:11,872
your demons or how
you went cuckoo, or...
153
00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:13,774
Cuckoo?
154
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:16,677
Sorry, I-I just.. I don't
know all the terminology.
155
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:19,012
I mean, you know,
just be normal.
156
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:20,514
(scoffing chuckle)
Normal, huh?
157
00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:21,515
(door opens, bells jangle)
158
00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:23,517
Mom. Dad.
159
00:06:23,551 --> 00:06:24,952
This is AJ.
160
00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:28,255
And I'm totally normal.
Hmm.
161
00:06:33,293 --> 00:06:36,063
Now, AJ,
what is it you do?
162
00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:38,231
I am an author.
How lovely.
163
00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:40,267
Tell us a little bit about the
kind of stuff you've written.
164
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:43,103
Oh...
165
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:45,138
I'm not really allowed
to talk about it.
166
00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:47,040
AJ's a very successful lawyer.
167
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,275
Not anymore.
168
00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:49,543
Like John Grisham--
169
00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:51,479
you quit to do
what you love.
170
00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:53,781
Good for you.
Not exactly.
171
00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:55,949
I had some...
172
00:06:55,983 --> 00:06:59,386
medical issues, and my
partners bought me out.
173
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,088
Is everything okay?
174
00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:04,091
If it's a prostate thing,
I've got a guy.
175
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:09,296
No, everything is great.
176
00:07:09,329 --> 00:07:11,932
I just wish I had more time
to spend with you guys.
177
00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:13,300
You're going?
178
00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:15,102
Oh, Abby didn't
tell you?
179
00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:17,471
I-I have another engagement.
180
00:07:17,505 --> 00:07:19,473
But...
181
00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:20,474
I've taken care
of the bill.
182
00:07:20,508 --> 00:07:21,942
Have a lovely visit.
183
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:24,011
You can't stay longer, honey?
184
00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:26,179
No, I can't.
185
00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:27,715
Honey.
186
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,920
He's really busy.
187
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:36,323
This is... totally normal.
188
00:07:36,356 --> 00:07:38,559
He's very normal.
189
00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:43,664
(sighs)
All right, uh,
190
00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:45,332
bad news.
191
00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:49,202
Gil wants to see
new stuff before the weekend.
192
00:07:49,236 --> 00:07:51,371
I know. I know.
193
00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:57,811
Aren't you sick of taking orders
from that clown?
194
00:07:57,845 --> 00:07:59,046
Yeah, you know what,
you're always
195
00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:00,614
taking orders from someone--
196
00:08:00,648 --> 00:08:03,350
bosses, clients, you know?
What does it matter?
197
00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:06,520
Not if you come to the vault.
We'll all be partners.
198
00:08:06,554 --> 00:08:09,389
We'll just argue
with each other.
199
00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:11,725
Come on, man, seriously.
This is a big opportunity.
200
00:08:11,759 --> 00:08:13,293
Look, the idea of becoming
a partner somewhere
201
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,796
is exciting,
but I have security here.
202
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,364
Do you?
203
00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:19,232
I mean, Gil has us stealing
designs from everywhere.
204
00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:21,234
What happens when
this job is over
205
00:08:21,268 --> 00:08:23,003
and Gil's ruined
your reputation?
206
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:26,339
Then maybe I'll come
work for you guys.
207
00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:29,710
Maybe then... we won't
have a position open.
208
00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:31,912
(sighs)
209
00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:34,247
LINA: I started
and then I couldn't stop.
210
00:08:34,281 --> 00:08:37,751
We have corn.
Um, the barn...
211
00:08:37,785 --> 00:08:39,152
And, um...
212
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:42,255
your milk.
213
00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:44,524
Farmer Todd is coming to life.
214
00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:46,694
Really?
It's crazy.
I-It is becoming
215
00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:50,197
a living, breathing thing.
I-It's...
216
00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:52,700
Thank you.
217
00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:55,035
All right, well, let's,
uh, start rehearsal.
218
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:58,371
We're having a little bit of a
wardrobe issue with Farmer Todd.
219
00:08:58,405 --> 00:09:00,373
'Cause Farmer Todd has to wear
these dum-dum overalls.
220
00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:02,342
Really?
221
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,511
I like the overalls.
They're a little on the nose.
222
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,446
What-what about this,
what about tight jeans,
223
00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:09,049
wife beater,
moto boots, real...
224
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:11,184
Tom of...
Tom of Finland vibe.
225
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:13,520
That's only good if you're
farming nightmares.
226
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:14,788
ABBY:
Hey, theater people.
227
00:09:14,822 --> 00:09:15,956
I brought coffee.
228
00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:18,458
Okay, we're-we're very busy.
229
00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:20,694
Okay?
230
00:09:20,728 --> 00:09:22,462
Look...
231
00:09:22,495 --> 00:09:24,898
I'm sorry.
232
00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:26,366
I know you're mad at me.
233
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:28,035
I just wanted
my parents to like you.
234
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,437
I get it.
I embarrass you.
235
00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:32,105
No.
That makes sense.
236
00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:34,041
No, you-you...
I just turn into this,
237
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,408
like, 15-year-old version
238
00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:37,477
of myself when
I'm around my parents.
239
00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:39,146
Let me make it up to you.
Do you want to...
240
00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:41,214
do something after the play?
241
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:44,117
I don't know how I'll
feel after the play.
242
00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:46,153
I don't have
a crystal ball.
243
00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:56,463
Hey.
244
00:09:56,496 --> 00:09:58,431
Hey.
245
00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:02,836
So... it's happening.
246
00:10:02,870 --> 00:10:05,605
(whispers):
What is happening?
247
00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:08,909
Well, Sergio and Mike
248
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,811
talked to a few clients,
249
00:10:10,844 --> 00:10:13,580
and there was a real openness
to the clients
250
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,182
moving with them.
251
00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:17,250
Really?
Mm-hmm.
252
00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:18,686
Which clients?
253
00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:22,189
These guys.
254
00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:24,357
(wry chuckle)
If all these clients left,
255
00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:26,459
I might be out of a job.
256
00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:28,095
Not if you went
with them.
257
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,530
Do you really think those guys
can pull this off?
258
00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:31,965
I don't know, but just
promise me that,
259
00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:33,834
if you do leave,
you'll take me with you.
260
00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:35,669
Absolutely. I would
bring you on as a designer.
261
00:10:35,703 --> 00:10:37,537
Really?
262
00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:39,306
Yeah. Totally.
263
00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:40,774
You're crazy talented.
264
00:10:40,808 --> 00:10:42,042
(laughs)
Really?
265
00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:43,510
Your stuff is awesome.
266
00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:45,278
Oh, my... (kisses)
267
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:48,281
You... are awesome.
268
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:50,483
Seriously.
269
00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:57,424
(sighs)
270
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,071
Have you had a chance
to look over the menu?
271
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:13,573
What's good today?
272
00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:14,942
Everything is good.
273
00:11:16,543 --> 00:11:17,811
Just bring whatever.
274
00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:20,080
I just want to bring you
what you want.
275
00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:21,782
Surprise me.
276
00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:24,184
(groans)
277
00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:26,820
Unbelievable.
278
00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:28,388
Everything okay?
279
00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:29,689
I can't make her happy.
280
00:11:29,723 --> 00:11:31,658
Forget about her.
281
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,827
You have me.
282
00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:35,562
What?
283
00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:39,366
You can have me
whenever you want.
284
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,203
(steam hissing)
285
00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:00,954
Where are we going?
286
00:12:00,988 --> 00:12:03,623
Anywhere you want.
287
00:12:04,892 --> 00:12:06,426
MAYA:
Daddy?
288
00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:08,862
Daddy?
Daddy, stop!
289
00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:10,130
Daddy!
290
00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:11,264
Dad, stop!
291
00:12:11,298 --> 00:12:13,700
Dad!
292
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,068
Stop, Dad!
293
00:12:15,102 --> 00:12:17,504
That was for Mommy's play.
294
00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:22,810
Oh, shit.
295
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,615
(grunts)
296
00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:30,583
I need more milk.
297
00:12:30,617 --> 00:12:32,519
Where's that durn cow?
298
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:36,556
You forgot your line, Alex.
299
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,291
I'll handle it.
300
00:12:38,325 --> 00:12:39,492
Alex...
301
00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:41,761
I'd like to tell you
a little story
302
00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:45,899
about a kid, just like you,
named Bernie.
303
00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:48,401
(sighs)
So, a long time
ago, Bernie
304
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,570
was also in a school play,
just like this one.
305
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:53,773
And he was so excited
for it, but...
306
00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:55,909
he screwed around
and never learned his lines.
307
00:12:55,943 --> 00:12:58,745
Well, the night of the
play came, and he forgot
308
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,915
what he was supposed to say...
309
00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:03,483
and it ruined the play,
310
00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:07,087
and he was humiliated,
and that was the night
311
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,156
his mom left his dad
for the local weatherman.
312
00:13:09,189 --> 00:13:11,658
So, if you would like your mom
and dad to stay married...
313
00:13:11,691 --> 00:13:13,026
LINA:
Hey, Bernie!
314
00:13:13,060 --> 00:13:14,828
...maybe you should learn
your goddamn lines.
315
00:13:14,862 --> 00:13:17,264
Bernie, from now on, you stay
in character, and I'll work
316
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,132
with the actors, okay?
Will you, though?
317
00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:20,800
Will you?
318
00:13:20,834 --> 00:13:24,004
Let's take
five minutes.
(Bernie sighs)
319
00:13:30,677 --> 00:13:32,512
Hey.
Hey...
320
00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:33,981
(laughs)
321
00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:38,685
Um... so...
did you talk to Gil?
322
00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:40,787
Oh...
Are we quitting?
323
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,455
I... I haven't had a chance.
324
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,124
Do you think
325
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,026
it'll happen before happy hour?
(laughs)
326
00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:50,497
'Cause I'm getting
ready to celebrate.
327
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:54,001
I'm buying.
Oh... in that case, let me get
on it. Let me get right to it.
328
00:14:07,414 --> 00:14:08,916
Lina?
Oh.
329
00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:10,417
I can't wait to see
what you put together.
330
00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:12,920
Oh, thank you.
I don't think we've ever
331
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:15,055
had a T.A. put on
their own play before.
332
00:14:15,088 --> 00:14:16,489
It's very impressive.
333
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:18,858
Um, I'm so sorry.
Can I just...?
334
00:14:18,892 --> 00:14:20,560
Will you excuse me
for one second?
335
00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:23,363
Yeah.
Thank you.
Okay. Bye.
336
00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:25,598
Hey. Have you seen Russ?
337
00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:27,867
He swore he was gonna be here.
We have bigger problems.
338
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:30,370
I can't find Farmer Todd.
339
00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:33,907
Shit.
Come on.
340
00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:43,917
So, is it done?
341
00:14:43,951 --> 00:14:46,219
Are we ready to start
our new lives together?
342
00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:48,621
Uh... I, uh...
343
00:14:48,655 --> 00:14:51,024
I did talk to Gil.
344
00:14:51,058 --> 00:14:53,226
Mm-hmm.
And, um,
345
00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:55,295
things are, uh...
346
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:57,364
they're not gonna...
347
00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,132
work out like
we talked about.
348
00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:02,235
Okay...
349
00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:04,104
Which, I think,
in the long run,
350
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:06,473
is actually good,
'cause, uh,
351
00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:09,076
I don't know it's
such a good idea
352
00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:11,811
that you and I, uh...
353
00:15:11,844 --> 00:15:15,282
work together anymore.
354
00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:19,652
Um... can... can I ask why?
355
00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:22,055
You're great.
You really are.
356
00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:25,959
You know? You're young
and you're beautiful.
357
00:15:25,993 --> 00:15:29,629
You are... exotic.
358
00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:32,099
Um...
359
00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:36,069
and I don't think you'll
have any trouble at all
360
00:15:36,103 --> 00:15:38,471
finding somebody else.
361
00:15:38,505 --> 00:15:41,008
What?! Oh, my God, no.
362
00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:42,775
I was just, like,
excited about everything.
363
00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:45,445
I know. I...
I didn't mean it
to turn into this.
364
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:49,316
I mean, you did... you did
kind of, you know, sexually...?
365
00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:51,751
Are you kidding me?
I don't love you.
366
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:55,422
In fact, I kind of,
like, hate you right now.
367
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,824
To be honest.
368
00:15:57,857 --> 00:15:59,993
So, you don't...?
369
00:16:00,027 --> 00:16:02,962
No!
Okay.
370
00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:05,265
Okay.
SERGIO:
Hey, hey.
371
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,100
Russ.
What up?
372
00:16:07,134 --> 00:16:08,935
So what's the verdict?
373
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,838
MIKE: Are you ready to have
your name on the vault?
374
00:16:11,871 --> 00:16:13,640
(sighs)
375
00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:16,009
Um...
376
00:16:16,043 --> 00:16:17,377
Oh, there he is.
377
00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:18,945
Excuse me.
378
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,480
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
379
00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:22,382
Oh, be careful.
What's going
on, Bernie?
380
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:24,117
LINA:
We're... we're-we're
about to start.
381
00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:26,119
(wind blows)
382
00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:27,820
Oh, you feel that?
383
00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:30,323
That's a low-pressure
system coming in.
384
00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:32,325
I think it's a Santa Ana.
385
00:16:32,359 --> 00:16:35,962
You see, Mommy,
I know about the weather.
386
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,964
Don't do this, man.
Don't do it.
387
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,732
I've never been to a farm.
388
00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:42,135
How am I supposed
to play a farmer?
389
00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:44,304
(thudding, glass clinking)
390
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:46,139
What's up, boners?
LINA:
Oh, my God.
391
00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:47,907
You guys ready to party?
392
00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:49,542
Are you drunk?
393
00:16:49,576 --> 00:16:51,978
I am just right.
394
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,646
Jesus.
What?
395
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,483
I was celebrating on account
of the fact that I just
396
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:57,917
saved the family.
397
00:16:57,950 --> 00:17:00,053
Saved the family?
Saved from what?
398
00:17:00,087 --> 00:17:03,890
From me taking a lower-paying
job without health insurance.
399
00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:05,592
I had to do some, like,
400
00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:10,163
trick business stuff, some
double-crosses and switcheroos.
401
00:17:10,197 --> 00:17:11,664
And you want credit
for that?
No.
402
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:14,234
I want credit
for not banging my assistant.
403
00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:16,669
'Cause she was in love with me.
404
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:19,172
Stop talking.
Stay here. Guys...
405
00:17:19,206 --> 00:17:20,340
it's showtime. Yeah.
406
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:21,708
Okay, come on.
407
00:17:21,741 --> 00:17:22,942
Bernie, that means you.
Let's go.
408
00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:24,444
Mommy was right.
409
00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:26,913
I don't deserve love.
410
00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:29,749
So long, Broadway.
411
00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:31,384
(Lina sighs heavily)
412
00:17:43,963 --> 00:17:46,933
(inhales deeply)
413
00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:49,269
Magnus...
Howdy.
414
00:17:49,302 --> 00:17:51,538
About the play.
415
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:54,941
So, it turns out that our
lead actor has come down
416
00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:57,410
with a very bad case of...
417
00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:01,814
of...
418
00:18:01,848 --> 00:18:05,752
Look, I think I
like my job now,
419
00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:08,221
and I really don't
want you to fire me.
420
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:09,489
(switches clack)
421
00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:11,458
(plays notes on piano)
Ladies and gentlemen,
422
00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:13,793
boys and girls...
423
00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:15,562
Oh, um...
...cows and pigs.
424
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:18,064
...enjoy the show?
Welcome
425
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,233
to the world premiere of...
426
00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:22,335
(plays notes on piano)
427
00:18:22,369 --> 00:18:24,271
...Farmer Todd Has a Problem.
428
00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:26,673
And, boy, oh, boy...
(wry laugh)
429
00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:29,242
...does he have a problem.
430
00:18:29,276 --> 00:18:30,977
MAYA:
Farmer Todd?
431
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:33,012
Farmer Todd?
RUSS:
Now?
432
00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:35,348
Yes!
433
00:18:35,382 --> 00:18:37,584
(audience murmuring)
434
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,486
(sighs)
435
00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:42,088
Hey, give me
that milk.
436
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,790
You've had enough
milk today.
437
00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:46,859
Uh, I will tell you
when I've had enough.
438
00:18:46,893 --> 00:18:48,928
I'm worried about you.
439
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:51,298
Well, yeah. Well...
440
00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:53,333
(belches)
441
00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:55,802
(laughter)
442
00:18:55,835 --> 00:18:58,438
AJ:
All right, all right, we
all know burping is funny.
443
00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,940
But there are lots
of other things that happen
444
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,842
when we drink too much,
445
00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:04,711
and they're not
all funny, hmm?
446
00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:06,379
(door opens, shuts)
447
00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:12,219
You see, all the animals
on the farm-- they love
448
00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:14,654
Farmer Todd,
and when you love someone,
449
00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:17,457
you don't pretend
that they don't have a problem.
450
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:20,360
You support them.
451
00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:24,397
(burping)
452
00:19:24,431 --> 00:19:27,200
(laughter)
453
00:19:27,234 --> 00:19:30,737
(piano playing, applause)
And then the sheep
wiped away his tear, and said...
454
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:35,041
And if you don't get help,
you're gonna die, because...
455
00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:38,345
ALL:
Farmer Todd, you have a problem.
456
00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:40,480
(Lina laughs)
457
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:43,182
(applause and cheering)
458
00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:47,654
(whooping)
459
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,021
Well, thank you guys.
460
00:19:49,055 --> 00:19:51,324
Thank you so much.
Hey, remember,
461
00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:52,759
just say no...
462
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:54,727
no matter how good
the cut is, okay?
463
00:19:54,761 --> 00:19:57,730
Great job.
Oh, my God. Hi.
464
00:19:57,764 --> 00:19:59,098
My parents
loved the play.
465
00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:02,602
Very interesting.
And entertaining.
466
00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:04,070
Thank you so much for coming.
467
00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:05,772
Abby insisted.
468
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:08,241
Is that right?
469
00:20:08,275 --> 00:20:13,413
Mm-hmm. Um,
did you guys know that
470
00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:17,350
AJ wrote the play based on
his own problems with alcohol?
471
00:20:17,384 --> 00:20:18,585
Oh!
472
00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:19,686
Well, that's great.
473
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:22,054
AJ:
Well, it's also
474
00:20:22,088 --> 00:20:24,257
about my problems
with cocaine...
475
00:20:24,291 --> 00:20:25,792
Mm-hmm.
and laxatives.
476
00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:31,531
(Russ burps)
477
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:33,533
(Russ groaning)
Are you all right?
478
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,535
Mm-hmm. I'm fine.
479
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:38,638
(retching)
480
00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:40,072
(groaning)
(Lina scoffs)
481
00:20:40,106 --> 00:20:41,774
Is he okay?
Yes.
482
00:20:41,808 --> 00:20:43,576
He has stage fright.
483
00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:46,045
Post-production stage fright.
484
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:47,980
Oh. Oh.
Yeah.
485
00:20:48,014 --> 00:20:50,883
(Russ groans)
Um, about the show.
486
00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:52,118
I'm sorry. I know
487
00:20:52,151 --> 00:20:53,886
it was a little weird.
I loved it.
488
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,255
You did?
I-I did.
489
00:20:56,289 --> 00:21:00,393
Uh, I know how it feels
to be that little cow.
490
00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:02,929
I used to be
that little cow.
491
00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:05,532
(Russ groaning)
With my Nana.
492
00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:11,070
Anyway... amazing work.
493
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:13,340
And I'm going to do
everything I can
494
00:21:13,373 --> 00:21:17,109
to bring you back here
next year, okay?
495
00:21:17,143 --> 00:21:18,978
(groaning)
Okay.
Okay.
496
00:21:19,011 --> 00:21:20,980
Oh!
497
00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:23,249
(sighs)
498
00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:25,618
Hmm.
499
00:21:25,652 --> 00:21:27,086
Ugh.
500
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:28,588
Did I save the family again?
501
00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:30,857
No.
Oh.
502
00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:33,025
What you did out there?
Mm-hmm.
503
00:21:33,059 --> 00:21:35,094
That was Broadway-level shit.
504
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,496
(both laugh)
505
00:21:36,529 --> 00:21:38,164
It was. It was awesome.
506
00:21:38,197 --> 00:21:39,866
You know what?
507
00:21:39,899 --> 00:21:41,468
I'm starting to get it.
508
00:21:41,501 --> 00:21:43,302
What?
509
00:21:43,336 --> 00:21:46,839
Why your assistant fell
in love with you.
510
00:21:46,873 --> 00:21:50,109
Yeah. That...
didn't really happen.
511
00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:51,544
I know.
512
00:21:51,578 --> 00:21:54,213
But I was cool
letting you think it did.
513
00:21:54,246 --> 00:21:56,182
You're the best.
514
00:21:56,215 --> 00:21:57,717
No, no.
515
00:21:57,750 --> 00:22:00,119
Let's... let's just high five.
516
00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:01,688
Why?
517
00:22:01,721 --> 00:22:03,823
Farmer Todd needs a mint.
518
00:22:03,856 --> 00:22:05,191
What?! No.
Yeah.
519
00:22:05,224 --> 00:22:07,460
Like a Listerine strip.
How about nothing?
520
00:22:07,494 --> 00:22:08,861
(laughing)
Get off of me!
521
00:22:08,895 --> 00:22:10,897
You're so gross!
Ew! (laughs)
522
00:22:10,930 --> 00:22:13,366
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
523
00:22:57,577 --> 00:22:59,245
[ Water Dripping ]
524
00:23:04,484 --> 00:23:05,985
[ Clears Throat ]
525
00:23:25,738 --> 00:23:28,475
[ Crowd Cheering ]
A fantasy league
is like a family--
526
00:23:28,508 --> 00:23:29,876
said no one ever.
527
00:23:29,909 --> 00:23:32,545
I have achieved more
than I ever thought possible--
528
00:23:32,579 --> 00:23:35,081
a checking account,
unlimited texting.
529
00:23:35,114 --> 00:23:37,984
Win or lose,
it's how you play
your friends.
530
00:23:38,017 --> 00:23:41,454
Do I have any regrets?
Yeah. Tony Romo.
531
00:23:41,488 --> 00:23:45,324
History is not written
by the winners.
It's written by the cheaters.
532
00:23:45,357 --> 00:23:48,427
My mother always wondered,
how low can you go?
533
00:23:48,461 --> 00:23:49,996
Well, Mom, pretty low.
534
00:23:50,029 --> 00:23:52,799
The League.
All new, Wednesdays at 10:00.
535
00:23:52,832 --> 00:23:55,602
Only on FXX.
536
00:23:56,636 --> 00:23:59,105
(sighing)
537
00:24:03,342 --> 00:24:05,645
-(doorbell rings)
-RADIO, CHORUS:
* Ba-la, la-la-la
538
00:24:05,678 --> 00:24:09,315
MAN:
* The sun is shining
* Sha-la, la-la-la
539
00:24:09,348 --> 00:24:13,085
* The birds are singing
* Sha-la, la-la-la
540
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:16,989
* It's a beautiful day
and my love is here to stay *
541
00:24:17,023 --> 00:24:19,158
Fargo.
All new, Mondays at 10:00.
542
00:24:19,191 --> 00:24:21,628
Starts October 12 on FX.
543
00:24:32,672 --> 00:24:34,641
The Bastard Executioner.
544
00:24:34,674 --> 00:24:37,644
All new,
Tuesdays at 10:00 on FX.
545
00:24:38,678 --> 00:24:40,346
(breathing shakily)
546
00:24:40,379 --> 00:24:41,914
(inhales)
547
00:24:54,360 --> 00:24:56,162
[ Growling ]
37122
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof