All language subtitles for Married (2014) S02E01 Thanksgiving

[ Man ]
What's more important--

being a successful rock star
or a successful father?

Dad!
Father.

I was just about
to say "Father."

[ Announcer ]
Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll.

All new, Thursdays at 10:00.
On FX.

FX presents Married.

Whoa.

Where are you going
dressed like that?

To meet some friends.

Is one of those friends
a Japanese businessman?

LINA: I think what
Daddy means is

your outfit sends
the wrong message.

Yeah, you're dressed
like a slut.
Mom!

LINA:
Russ, don't say "slut," okay?

What?
When you really
mean "escort."

LINA: You know,
she's high end.
RUSS: Oh. Oh.

So, like, the type that gets

her gym membership
and cell phone paid for?

Maybe even tuition
for night school.

AJ:
Ah, this is nice.

When was the last time the three
of us hung out like this, huh?

Well, you don't
drink anymore.

Well, I don't need booze
to enjoy your insecurity.

Thank you?
(chuckles)

RUSS:
Wow.

What do you say we get the
kids together this weekend?

Uh, can't this weekend.
We're going to see Lina's mom.

How's Janice doing?

Eh, she's starting
to get a little confused.

Well, I'll tell you what--
it's only a matter of time

till Shep loses his marbles.

AJ: He's not that old.
RUSS: Exactly.

Shep's got way more
brain cells than AJ does.

Totally.

Whatever.

Are you guys Shep's friends
or my friends?

Geez.
We didn't know that we
needed to make a choice.

What's going on?

Every time we walk
into a preschool,

I know what these bitches
are thinking.

Oh, successful man,
dumb trophy wife.

That's ridiculous.
Yeah, you're
a smart trophy wife.

Well...
AJ: If there were a
Miss Trophy Wife,

you would definitely win
the intelligence portion.

(chuckles)
Thank you.

Where, uh, where are you
guys applying anyway?

Hillside.
AJ:
Hillside?!

Yeah.
That's where
my kid went.

We love it there.
You should drop my name.

Yeah, I would.

It's just that I would
actually like to get in.

What is that supposed to mean?

Nothing.
(chuckles)

Trust me.

You should be...
(chuckles)

trusting a napkin.

(laughs)

Wow.

This place is awesome.

It's really remote.

I don't know why he
keeps moving her around.

It's not gonna help
her confusion.

Don't start.
Start what?

Picking on Ed.

I'm not picking on
the new husband.

They've been married
as long as we have, okay?

You should start
calling him Ed.

Ed.

Ed. Ed.

Ed... I-I don't know.

New husband's just
easier to remember.

(scoffs)

Ugh, this place is beautiful.

I'd like to retire
in a place like this someday.

Retirement's
just for men.

No, it's not-- women retire.

I mean, they used to, but then
some asshole invented Viagra,

and now it's never over.

Well, I don't want it
to be over.

I know, sweetie.

I know.

(knocking on door)

You made it.
FRANKIE: Hi!

Oh, my God!

Give me a hug.
(laughs)

Hey there.

Mom, hi.
Oh.

Oh, I missed you.
(chuckles)

Oh, my God, it smells
so good in here.

Are you cooking?
(chuckles)

We're going out
for dinner tonight.
Oh, very funny.

What restaurant is open
Thanksgiving? Chinese?

Don't be silly.

But, Mom, it's not, um...

Cold enough to be
Thanksgiving, I know.

This weather's crazy,
isn't it?

JANICE: You know me,
I love the holidays.

Listen, when I told her
you were coming today,

she got confused.

She thought
it was Thanksgiving.

Did you tell her
it wasn't?

I did--
just made her angry.

Oh, my God.

What are we gonna do?

I think we enjoy
the holiday.

Turkey smells
great, Janice.

WOMAN: And this is
Mrs. Sawyer's classroom.

Oh, Mrs. Sawyer.
(chuckles)

Harrison's gonna
love it here.

He's three; he'll love it
anywhere they have juice.

Can you just...

So does Harrison have
any siblings?

Uh, I-I have a
15-year-old son.

Yeah.

Yes, but I'm
the first wife.

I'm the only wife.

(both chuckle
uncomfortably)

And I went to Cornell.

Mmm... she...
So, you know...

doesn't need to know...
I'm not dumb.

Okay.
(Jess chuckles)

Ha... Did I mention that
Harrison can already count

to trece en español?

That's amazing.

Uh, what's amazing is
our nanny's actually Polish.

So, uh...

Listen, every child
is right for Hillside,

but not every parent is
right for Hillside.

Okay, that takes care of that.

Mmm.
(chuckles):
Look.

There's an open house
here tonight.

It's a chance to meet parents,
alums, make some connections.

Yeah, we'll be there.

Great.
Great.

Because we really do care

about our little community here.

You don't know anyone
in the Hillside family, do you?

Not a soul.

I thought you said
AJ's kid went here.

Yeah. I know
what I'm doing.

Okay, I'll
just shut up.
Okay.

I'm the one who already
raised a kid,

but why should that matter?

I'll just shut up.
Yeah, do so.

I knew she was starting
to forget stuff,

but, like, she
was still my mom.

Now, every time
I see her,

she's just gonna be
less and less herself.

I'm sorry. It sucks.

Goddamn it. I just finished
changing all the kids' diapers,

and now I'll change my mom's?

I know. It's the
diaper sandwich.

(whispering):
My diaper sandwich
was this thin.

Diaper Panini?

Look, at least
we have Ed, right?

I mean, he'll
get in there.
Will he?

LINA: How well do we
really know this guy?

RUSS: Oh, my God.
14 years well.

Maybe my mom should come
and live with us.

I mean, I don't...
I don't know.

Yeah, right?
I don't think so.

I mean, why not?

I think she'd be
so confused there.

And I feel like Ed has
everything under control here.

We're about to have
Thanksgiving in September.

Nothing is under control.

I'll talk to Ed, okay?
You will?

And make sure
everything is okay.

Hey, so... just curious
about Janice.

Uh, Lina's pretty worried
about her.
Yeah.

Yeah, she's getting
real dingy,

but she still
has her good days.

Right. Yeah, no.

We were just kind of wondering
what the long-term plan was,

you know, for when
things get a little

harder for you
to deal with.

Sunset Ranch has
a memory unit.

Doctors 24/7,
physical therapy.

One of the main reasons
I brought her here.

Oh, so she'll be
staying here?

Oh, definitely.
Oh, that's great.

This place is top flight,
baby. Top flight.

Great doctors,
great everything.

(grunting)

Russ, my boy.

Really?

Wow.
Wear it with pride.

I will. Thank you.
(laughs)

I feel honored.

Over here, you got your
fitness center, weight room,

pool...

RUSS:
And everything is included?

Everything.
Wow.

I wouldn't mind retiring
to a place like this.

They cook for you,
clean, garden.

That's incredible.

Uh... oh, are you sure?

It's noon.

It's retirement.

(laughs)
(laughs):
Okay.

You know, I never saw myself
ending up in a place like this.

I'm not exactly your retirement
community type of guy.

Yeah, yeah.
Check this out.

(Ed laughs)
RUSS: No way.

You serious?

Can't say no
to that, can you?

Wow. No.
That sold it right there.

Artillio is
our hidden gem.

He does plumbing,
electrical,

drives to
the all-night pharmacy.

Whatever you need,
he'll take care of it.

For you, señor.
Oh, thank you.

(speaking Spanish)

Yeah. Huh?

(laughs)
Retirement is awesome.

Yeah. (laughs)

SHEPARD: No, I don't think
he needs tutoring.

Well, Russ and Lina's girls
all had bigger vocabularies

when they were his age.

Yeah, 'cause
they're girls.
So?

Boys don't talk as much, because
they know there's no point.

(laughs): Oh.
(knocking)

(Jess gasps)
Oh. Hey.

You didn't drop my name.

Oh, great.
Well, how does he
know this already?

(door closes)
Well, don't freak out.

(clicks tongue)

You didn't drop my name.

What?
At Hillside.

I told you to drop my name,
and you didn't drop it.

JESS:
You know, actually,

I'm pretty sure
we dropped it.

You're pretty sure?

Yeah.

I think I dropped it.

You think you dropped it?

Uh-huh.

Did she drop it or not?

We didn't drop it.
Come on.

I'm sorry. Look,

we really want
to get into Hillside,

and we don't want
any of your issues

getting in
the way, okay?
My issues?

Mm-hmm.
What issues are you
talking about exactly?

Drugs, alcohol, sex addiction,

uh, amnesia,
public defecation.

I forgot where the bathroom was.

Amnesia!

You know what?
You're right.

I have had a lot of issues.

That's all I'm saying.
I'm not even trying

to make you feel bad.
I'm just saying.

AJ: You got a real point.
I-I'm a liability.

Nobody should drop my name.

The smartest thing
that you could've done was

pretend like you don't know me.

So you're not mad?

I get it.
Okay.

You're just trying
to do what's best for your kid.

You don't know me.

Well, exactly, yeah.
Yes!

I wanted to drop it.

LINA:
So how are you guys doing?

Your father takes
good care of me.
He's not my father.

Oh, you might have your
differences, but he'll always be

your father.

Mom, Ed's your second husband.

You guys got married in 2003.

(chuckles):
I have two husbands?

Dad left, remember?

Yes, of course
I remember.

He left with Russ
to get the cranberry sauce.

Do you have anything
for a migraine?

Check the bathroom.

(whispers):
Okay.

(gasps)

(golf cart whirring)

Um...

What?

My mom's moving
in with us.

No.
Yes.

No. Sweetie,
this is a great place.

They have doctors here for her
and-and handymen and recreation.

I mean,
we should move here.

Lube.

Yeah, I know what that is.

For sex.
Yup.

My mom and Ed
are still doing it.

Yeah. They're married.

She has dementia!

Well, that's why
she's at the Sunset Ranch.

I mean, this is
a great facility.

She doesn't remember
my dad leaving her.

That's great.

Russ, she thinks
that Ed is my dad.

She doesn't know who
she's having sex with.

Well... in sickness
and in health, right?

What are you talking about?!
He's taking advantage of her!

Nuh-uh.
Yes!

Look, what if... what
if I was out of it?

What if I was a vegetable?

Then I'd become a vegetarian.

(groans)
No.

I am shutting
this shit down.

No, you are not.

Well, one of us is.
(knocking)

Just need my duffel.

Time to hit the weights.

(whispers):
Go with him.

(whispers):
No.

(whispers):
Go.

Hey, Ed, you mind
if I, uh, join you?

So, you, uh, you've been
working out a lot, huh?

Use it or lose it.

Yeah, although sometimes

it's probably better
to lose it, right?

You know?

No, I just...

I mean, there are just...
(clears throat)

certain parts of our bodies

that we're probably
better off

forgetting about, right?

I don't think that's true.

No, I mean, I think
it is, you know?

I just think when you're older,
you know, you should...

shouldn't, you
know, maybe using

certain parts of your body.

You know, maybe your,
uh, your pelvic region

and your hips...

the old flexors,
the-the butt...

What do you mean?
I'm trying to say

if your partner, you know,
doesn't want to use

their pelvic region, um...

you know, just, whatever,
because they're tired

or they're older...

can't remember
their name, whatever--

I don't know-- you know,
for whatever reason,

you should probably
just match the usage,

you know, of your partner?

I'm gonna stop you now.

You're really doing a number
on your back here.

It's not safe. Step out.

Okay.

First, you got to
set it for some...

man-sized setting
on the weights.

Yeah.
(sighs)

Okay, you want
to use your power.

(grunts)
Like that.

Force! You want
to spread them wide.

Spread them wide.

Pound it harder!

Jesus, man.

Yeah. I used to box
a little bit.

We could spar if you want.

No, I'm good.
(laughs)

All right, boy.

These gravy boats
are yours when I go.

Don't let my sister take them.

Mom, what do you think
about living with us?

That's sweet.

But your father and I
need our privacy.
(groans)

(sighs)

I found the lube, Mom.

It's over.
What?

I know you guys have been
making whoopee,

or whatever you want to call it.

What your father
and I do in private

is none of your business.
Mom!

He's not my father!
You don't even remember

his name!
Whose name?

The guy you're
having sex with, Mom.

Say his name.

His name...

is my husband!

Yes.

There are things I
get confused about,

but who I share my bed
with is not one of them.

Now, if you don't mind, I would
like to enjoy the holiday

with my grandchildren
and my incredible husband.

Whose name is...?

(grunts)

Just what's
the first name

that's coming to your mind
right now?

Mom?

So, we're a play-first
institution, and we were

an early adopter of
the children's bill of rights.

Mm, kids need rights.

Mm.

So true, so true.

She says that all the time.

"Kids need rights."

Can you excuse us for a moment?
Yeah, sure, sure.

Lovely to meet you, Gladys.
Okay.

Of course, yes.
You, too.
Uh-huh.

What are you doing here?

Do I know you?

(chuckles): Okay.
AJ.

Hmm. We don't know
each other, remember?

This is super weird.

Can you not
mess this up for us?

You said that it would
be better for you

to pretend that
you don't know me.

Well, then I don't
know you either.

Okay, this is
a really intense move...

Oh, great.
I see you guys met AJ.

He's one of our all-star donors.

Yeah.
(chuckles)
Oh, you're a donor?

Big-time donor.

SHEPARD:
Is that right?
Yeah.

Interesting.
Mm-hmm.

So you guys know each other
or you don't?

He... he's just trying
to give us a hard time.

We've never met actually.

AJ.
I'm sorry, you just
don't look familiar to me.

But maybe I've forgotten you.

You see, I've been
having some issues lately.

Now, if you excuse me, I see
a friend of mine over there.

A real friend.
(chuckles)

Sure.
Excuse me.

We should've
dropped his name.

Okay.

Not gonna say it again.

We should've
dropped his name.
There it is.

LINA: Is it done?
Did you do the thing?

RUSS:
No. I tried to, but...

did you know that
Ed was a boxer?

You think he hits her, too?

Not what I was saying.

LINA: Well, okay, she's leaving
with us right now. Okay.
RUSS: No, no, no.

I'm gonna go pack her bag,
because...
Hold on, hold on, stop.

I got an idea.

Lina, this
is Artillio.

He is one of Sunset
Ranch's hidden gems.

What do I fix?

He's your idea?

Yeah. Watch this.

Cheers.
Thank you.

Now tell him about
your dad's lube.

Stepdad's lube.

My real dad left us.

Oh, so sorry.
Would you excuse us

for a second, please?
Thank you.

How is he supposed to help?

I don't know-- maybe he,
you know, talks to Ed,

tells him to keep
it in his pants,

or maybe he finds someone
else for Ed to bang.

You want me to explain
to a handyman that Ed is raping

my shell of a mother?

Artillio is assistant
facilities manager.

Excuse me,
Mr. Russ.

I go fix the broken sinks
in the villas. But I come back.

Okay, great.

This guy's the best.

You're an idiot.

AJ, please, we're sorry.
Please don't do this.

You know how important
this is to us.

Really.
Please.
It's just a shame

that we don't know
each other anymore.

Please.
Come on, man. You know what?

This-this is not a joke.

It's already
done. He's in.

I took care of it.

Harrison's in?
What do you mean? He's in?

Mm-hmm.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.

Thank you, thank you.
Thanks. That means...

That...
Oh, thank you.
So much.

This means
a lot to her.
Yeah.

Hey, you're welcome.
You're welcome.
Thank you.

Can I just have a moment?
You're welcome.

Yeah, absolutely.

Thank you.
Thank you.

I am sorry. I'm sorry.

No matter how bad things got,

I have always
been there for my kid.

I know.

School, sports,
I go to everything.

I may be a screwup,
but I am not a bad parent.

That makes one of us.
You know?

Shep's great at being a parent.

I don't even know
if I'm cut out for it.

(sputters)

What? What does that mean?

Maybe I'm not
supposed to be a mother.

(girls laughing)

How do you do it?

RUSS:
Oh, are you full?
Yeah.

Me, too.

Can we talk
for a second?

Uh, yeah. Sure.

I understand you have
some concerns

about me and your mom.

Well, I-I... I... Yeah.

I guess... I do, I...
I get it.

I'm not your father.
Uh-uh.

And I'm not trying to be.

But you need to understand
that I love Janice

and I would never do
anything to hurt her.

LINA:
I know that.

But from my point of view...

I-I know, it's... weird
to think about me being

with your mom.

Yeah, I don't...

See, we still connect.

And, uh, there's
some days when

she forgets my name.

It's okay.

She knows that I love her.

Can I help with some
of these dishes?

Uh, yeah.

LINA: Oh, I can...
I can get it.
ED: Oh, no, no, no.

(mouths)

(girls laughing)

No, do it in the
strings, Mom.

Mom, thank you.

That was really delicious.

It was. Cheers.

You still got it.
I'm just so grateful

that we're all together.
I could eat that whole pie

and that one
and this one
(knock at window)

and that one.
ED: No, really?

Yes!
Wow.

ED: Really great pie
this time, hon.

JANICE:
Does Froggy like the pie?

ED:
Pi is, like, 3.14, isn't it?

Hi.
Hi.

So sorry to bother
you, but we got

a call about
a potential elder abuse.

Um...
Um...

Can we, uh... could we
do this another time?

Yeah, we're kind of in the
middle of Thanksgiving, so...

Yeah.
We're required to
do an interview.

All our employees
are mandatory reporters.

Artillio called
us because

you expressed concern.

Just like they tell us
in seminar.

No. That was
a misunderstanding.

Yeah.
That was a mix-up.

I think...
Probably a language...

I think, yeah, sometimes
it's hard to understand

Artillio.
It was also mentioned

that your father
sexually assaulted your mother.

ARTILLIO:
No, no.
Wow.

He is the stepfather.
Her real father left.

That's...
That is true, but-but I think

you're misunderstanding...
I did s... Yeah.

Yeah, that's not...
Hey, Artillio,
what's going on?

Is everything okay?
You know what,
I think there's been

a little confusion
here, so...

No, no confusion.

Miss Lina say you

rape you

with lube.

LINA:
That is ridiculous!

My stepfather-- I'm sorry,

I'm gonna go with
"father" right now--

my father wouldn't
rape anybody.
RUSS: Yeah.

He's a really good man.

Yeah. I know rapers, and
this guy is not a raper.
Yeah.

LINA:
No. What rapist

uses lube?
What are you even...

Lube is the
opposite of rape.

LINA: What are you
talking about?

RUSS: Yeah, we've got a family
thing going on here, okay,

so could you just let us
enjoy the holiday, please?

There's children in there.
I don't like them even

hearing this.
That's unbelievable.

Happy Thanksgiving to you both.

Look.

This belonged to
Ed's grandmother.
Really?

Yeah.
Wow.

He wanted to pass it on

to one of our girls.

Oh, that's so nice.

He refers to them as
his granddaughters.

Well...
It's sweet.

Which girl are you
gonna give it to?

This one.

It's real gold.

Good call.

When I'm old and out of it,

I want someone like Ed
to take care of me.

Aw, don't worry, babe.

I'll be riding you
into the sunset.

Oh, you're so romantic.

(chuckles)

Mommy, what's rape?

Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH

[ Buzzing ]

Who is calling
this late?

Oof.
Lina, your phone.
What?

[ Buzzing ]
Oh.

Oh. Sorry.
[ Buzzing Stops ]

[ Dog Barking In Distance ]

That wasn't your phone,
was it?

Don't worry about it.

That's my girl.

Married. All new,
Thursdays at 10:30.

Only on FX.

What are Johnny's influences?

Bourbon, speed, cocaine.

The Clash, the Kinks,
the Ramones, the Replacements,
Del Fuegos.

Listerine Dimetapp,
Quackers Krell.

I don't even know
what those last two are.

[ Announcer ]
Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll.

All new, Thursdays at 10:00.
On FX.

Tyrant.

All-new.
Tuesdays at
10:00 on FX.

[ Man ]
The battle has begun.

An evil is spreading.

[ Siren Wailing ]

We must fight-- all of us.

Fight to save
our civilization.

Fight or die.
[ Growling ]