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(Russ groans)
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>> LINA: You okay?
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>> RUSS: Yeah, I'm fine.
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>> LINA: Yeah?
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>> RUSS: Yeah.
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>> LINA: I went to Bernie's.
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I thought maybe we could grab
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lunch or something.
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He said you went home sick.
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>> RUSS: Well, I am sick.
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Sick of working at Bernie's.
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>> LINA: I hope you feel better.
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>> RUSS: Hey, look...
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>> LINA: You know, I get sick of
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stuff, too.
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I'd love to take a sick day.
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>> RUSS: So... let's take one...
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together.
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>> LINA: Someone's got to pick
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up the kids.
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Idiot.
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>> RUSS (sighs): Oh...
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(Jess giggles)
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>> JESS (sighs): I can't believe
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you haven't been by to see
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AJ yet.
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>> RUSS: I know, I know, I know.
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How's he doing, how's rehab?
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>> JESS: I don't know.
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I mean, he's AJ, so it is a
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process.
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So many cool addicts there.
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>> RUSS: "Cool addicts"?
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>> JESS: You know me, I love
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that shit.
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(Russ laughs, taps table)
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>> RUSS: That's weird.
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>> JESS: What's... your problem?
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>> RUSS: I'm just...
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(sighs)
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Lina and I have been fighting
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ever since they sold our house.
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>> JESS: Oh, shit, they actually
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sold that place?
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>> RUSS: Yeah.
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To the Russians next door.
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Now we're, like, struggling to
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find another place to rent.
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>> JESS: Oh, God...
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Looking for places is the
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ultimate worst; she must be so
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stressed out, yeah.
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>> RUSS: She is, without a
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doubt, but I feel like this
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is like... an opportunity, you
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know, to, like, change things.
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>> JESS: Like... what?
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>> RUSS: Everything-- all of it.
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I just...
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I want my life to feel m-more
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like... (stammers)
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I don't know.
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More adventurous.
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I bought this book about
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traveling the world with your
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family; just picking up and,
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like, leaving town for, like...
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months, years at a time, you
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know?
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>> JESS: Mm-hmm.
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>> RUSS: And I gave it to her
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just to see what she would say,
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and she was like, "We should
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just table that."
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>> JESS: Yeah, that sounds about
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right.
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(sighs)
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>> JESS: Well, uh...
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do you want to smoke weed?
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>> RUSS: I do, but we can't use
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the van again; Lina's tired of
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explaining the smell to the
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kids.
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>> JESS: Oh, my God, you're such
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a pussy.
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(Jess groans)
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(dog whimpers)
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>> MAYA: When is Jen coming?
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>> LINA: Jen's not coming; we
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got a new sitter.
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>> MAYA: How pretty is she?
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>> LINA: Why does that matter?
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>> MAYA: It matters to me.
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>> RUSS: It matters to both of
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us.
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>> MAYA: Where are you guys
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going anyway?
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>> RUSS: Uh... we are going to
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visit Uncle AJ in the hospital.
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>> LINA: He's not in the
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hospital.
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>> RUSS (grunts): I...
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>> LINA: He's in a resort for
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rich people who take too many
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drugs.
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>> MAYA: Why do people take
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drugs?
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>> RUSS: Well... uh... sometimes
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grown-ups need to take something
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to help them forget that their
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lives didn't turn out the way
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they wanted.
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>> LINA: Sometimes they just
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don't want to face the reality
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that they're married with three
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kids.
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>> MAYA: Wait, Uncle AJ has
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three kids?
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>> RUSS: No, your mom was
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talking about me.
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>> SHEPARD: I just don't really
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understand why you can't do this
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by yourself.
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Wh-Why do I have to go?
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>> JESS: Well, because AJ wants
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us both to be there for Family
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Day.
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>> SHEPARD: Right, but we're not
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family.
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>> JESS: Yeah, but it's
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really just an opportunity for
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him to apologize to all of the
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different people that he's hurt.
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>> SHEPARD: Really?
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Where are they holding this
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thing, the Colosseum?
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>> JESS: You know, it's really
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one of my favorite parts of
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rehab, because it's like when
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all of the different weirdos get
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to be like, "I'm sorry that I
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stole your car..." or, like,
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"I'm sorry that I shit in your
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fish tank..."
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>> SHEPARD: Oh... I'm looking
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forward to this, now.
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(Jess sighs)
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>> JESS: If... you give it
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a chance, you might actually
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like it.
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>> SHEPARD: You had me at "fish
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tank."
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>> JESS: Okay.
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>> RUSS: This is amazing.
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>> LINA: Wow.
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>> RUSS: Wow, we would never be
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able to afford a rehab like
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this.
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>> LINA: No, I mean, if one of
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us needed help, we would have
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to just stay on drugs.
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>> RUSS: Oh, did you get a
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chance to look at that stuff
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that I sent you?
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>> LINA: Stuff?
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>> RUSS: Yeah, the link to the
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guy's blog?
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Or the book about the guy who
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travels the world...?
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>> LINA: Yeah, I just have been
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really busy.
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>> RUSS: Okay.
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Never mind.
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(ducks quacking)
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>> LINA: AJ!
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>> AJ: H-Hey...!
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>> RUSS: So, Jess says you've
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been doing really well.
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>> AJ: Yeah?
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Did she tell you that she's been
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here every day?
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>> RUSS: So?
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>> AJ: So, she's a rehab junkie.
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She's addicted to coming to
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rehab.
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Ever since I checked in here,
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she's been obsessed with my
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recovery.
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>> RUSS: She cares about you,
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dude.
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>> AJ: She's been sending
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uplifting texts to other
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patients.
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>> RUSS: Oh, really?
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>> AJ: Yeah.
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>> LINA: I think I found our
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house.
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>> AJ: Oh, yeah?
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>> LINA: Crap, except it only
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has one and a half bathrooms.
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Which I just don't think is
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enough for five people.
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>> AJ: How much are the
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neighbors paying you?
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>> LINA: For what?
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>> AJ: To move.
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>> LINA: They have to pay us?
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>> AJ: Well, they don't have
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to, but... you can make their
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lives miserable.
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>> LINA: We can?
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>> AJ: Do you know how hard it
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is to evict somebody in
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California?
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If they want you gone, you kind
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of have them by the balls.
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Oh, my God, here he is, this is
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my guy.
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(men chuckling)
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Dr. Fred, these are my very good
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friends, Lina, Russ, Russ, Lina.
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>> LINA: Hi.
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>> RUSS: Hi. Russ.
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>> DR. FRED: Can I steal AJ for
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a second?
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>> LINA: Yeah, yeah.
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>> RUSS: Sure, yeah.
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>> AJ: See you guys in a second.
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>> LINA: Oh, my God, how great
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would it be if we could get a
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little extra money for our move?
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Maybe we could put it towards a
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bigger place.
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>> RUSS: Yeah, or a bigger move.
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>> LINA: A bigger move?
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>> RUSS: Costa Rica.
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>> LINA: You want to move to
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Costa Rica?
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>> RUSS: Why not?
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>> LINA: The whole family?
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>> RUSS: Yes!
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What?
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>> JESS: AJ!
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Hey, man, how's it going?
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Hey.
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>> AJ: What are you doing here?
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>> JESS: I'm here for Family
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Day.
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>> AJ: Mm... I thought I told
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you not to come.
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>> JESS: Oh, I thought you were
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joking.
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>> AJ: I wasn't.
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You really piss me off.
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>> JESS: Why, what did I do?
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>> AJ: Every time you come here,
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you make it all about you.
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Yesterday you spent an hour
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talking to Dawn about how your
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mother makes you feel guilty
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about not being more religious.
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>> JESS: Yeah?
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>> AJ: Dawn was raped by her
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grandfather.
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>> JESS: Well, we've all been
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abused.
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>> AJ: Okay, look.
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>> JESS: You know, like,
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everyone has their stuff.
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>> AJ: This is my rehab, not
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yours.
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>> JESS: All right, well, I'll
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go home then, if that's what you
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want.
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>> AJ: No, no, no, it's okay,
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stay, just... be cool.
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>> JESS: Okay.
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(AJ sighs)
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>> AJ (laughs): Oh, man.
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00:07:10,256 --> 00:07:11,355
(Jess quietly laughs)
281
00:07:11,357 --> 00:07:12,656
(AJ sighs)
282
00:07:12,658 --> 00:07:13,924
>> LINA: Are you serious?
283
00:07:13,926 --> 00:07:14,992
>> RUSS: Yes.
284
00:07:14,994 --> 00:07:15,993
>> LINA: You want to move the
285
00:07:15,995 --> 00:07:17,328
whole family to Costa Rica?
286
00:07:17,330 --> 00:07:18,562
>> RUSS: Yeah, I do.
287
00:07:18,564 --> 00:07:19,563
We get on a plane and we go down
288
00:07:19,565 --> 00:07:20,564
there and we stay with Kurt for
289
00:07:20,566 --> 00:07:21,565
a bit.
290
00:07:21,567 --> 00:07:23,701
>> LINA: Who the hell is Kurt?
291
00:07:23,703 --> 00:07:25,002
>> RUSS: The guy who writes the
292
00:07:25,004 --> 00:07:26,170
travel blog.
293
00:07:26,172 --> 00:07:27,171
>> LINA: What travel blog?
294
00:07:27,173 --> 00:07:28,172
>> RUSS: The one that I sent
295
00:07:28,174 --> 00:07:29,073
you that you obviously, like,
296
00:07:29,075 --> 00:07:29,673
ignored.
297
00:07:29,675 --> 00:07:30,674
>> LINA: No, I got the e-mail
298
00:07:30,676 --> 00:07:31,675
that you forwarded with the
299
00:07:31,677 --> 00:07:33,344
link, but I didn't open it.
300
00:07:33,346 --> 00:07:34,378
>> RUSS: Oh, that's awesome.
301
00:07:34,380 --> 00:07:35,579
>> LINA: Just like you ignore
302
00:07:35,581 --> 00:07:37,047
every link to every house I need
303
00:07:37,049 --> 00:07:37,882
you to look at.
304
00:07:37,884 --> 00:07:38,883
>> RUSS: Because we shouldn't be
305
00:07:38,885 --> 00:07:39,617
looking at that stuff.
306
00:07:39,619 --> 00:07:40,884
>> LINA: I think you're losing
your mind.
307
00:07:40,886 --> 00:07:42,453
>> RUSS: I'm not losing my mind.
308
00:07:42,455 --> 00:07:44,054
Kurt is killing it down there.
309
00:07:44,056 --> 00:07:45,589
He, like, opened a café.
310
00:07:45,591 --> 00:07:46,891
We could do the same thing-- we
311
00:07:46,893 --> 00:07:47,892
could open another surf shop.
312
00:07:47,894 --> 00:07:48,893
>> LINA: Yeah, we could, and we
313
00:07:48,895 --> 00:07:50,294
could send the kids to school
with chickens...
314
00:07:50,296 --> 00:07:51,362
>> RUSS: Kurt homeschools his
315
00:07:51,364 --> 00:07:51,896
kids.
316
00:07:51,898 --> 00:07:52,696
>> LINA: Homeschool?
317
00:07:52,698 --> 00:07:53,597
>> RUSS: Yeah, taken care of.
318
00:07:53,599 --> 00:07:54,432
>> LINA: Seriously?
319
00:07:54,434 --> 00:07:55,232
>> RUSS: Yep.
320
00:07:55,234 --> 00:07:57,368
>> LINA: I prefer the chickens.
321
00:07:57,370 --> 00:07:58,569
>> RUSS: Think about all the
322
00:07:58,571 --> 00:08:00,304
cool shit we would do.
323
00:08:00,306 --> 00:08:01,539
>> LINA: I can think of you
324
00:08:01,541 --> 00:08:03,741
surfing, and me spending all day
325
00:08:03,743 --> 00:08:05,709
at home with all three kids.
326
00:08:05,711 --> 00:08:08,712
>> RUSS: No, you'd be teaching.
327
00:08:10,749 --> 00:08:12,082
>> JESS: There's got to be more.
328
00:08:12,084 --> 00:08:13,751
Yes. Grady's more of, like, a
329
00:08:13,753 --> 00:08:14,919
live-in-the-moment type of guy.
330
00:08:14,921 --> 00:08:15,920
>> SHEPARD: Which one is Grady?
331
00:08:15,922 --> 00:08:16,921
>> JESS: Grady is the one who
332
00:08:16,923 --> 00:08:17,922
got so drunk that he jumped off
333
00:08:17,924 --> 00:08:19,189
the train while it was still
moving.
334
00:08:19,191 --> 00:08:20,257
>> SHEPARD: No, I think that
was Glenn.
335
00:08:20,259 --> 00:08:21,759
>> JESS: No, Glenn is the man
336
00:08:21,761 --> 00:08:22,660
that set his neighbor's RV on
fire.
337
00:08:22,662 --> 00:08:24,295
>> SHEPARD: Okay, 'cause I get
them confused.
338
00:08:24,297 --> 00:08:26,730
>> JESS (laughs): Yeah, I know.
339
00:08:26,732 --> 00:08:27,665
There are so many interesting
people here.
340
00:08:27,667 --> 00:08:29,266
>> SHEPARD: Okay, well, maybe if
341
00:08:29,268 --> 00:08:30,468
I set fire to something, I'd be
342
00:08:30,470 --> 00:08:31,735
interesting.
343
00:08:31,737 --> 00:08:32,736
>> JESS (sputters): I don't want
344
00:08:32,738 --> 00:08:33,737
you to be interesting.
345
00:08:33,739 --> 00:08:34,905
I like you the way that you are.
346
00:08:34,907 --> 00:08:36,140
>> SHEPARD: Mm. I'm, I'm gonna
347
00:08:36,142 --> 00:08:37,408
pretend like that was a
348
00:08:37,410 --> 00:08:38,409
compliment.
349
00:08:38,411 --> 00:08:39,443
>> JESS: It is a compliment.
350
00:08:39,445 --> 00:08:40,945
>> SHEPARD: I see. Hey.
351
00:08:40,947 --> 00:08:41,946
>> LINA: Hey, guys.
352
00:08:41,948 --> 00:08:42,947
>> JESS: Hi.
353
00:08:42,949 --> 00:08:43,948
>> LINA: Do you know if there's
354
00:08:43,950 --> 00:08:44,949
a Wi-Fi signal anywhere?
355
00:08:44,951 --> 00:08:45,950
>> JESS: I do. There's a really
356
00:08:45,952 --> 00:08:48,085
strong one at the juice bar.
357
00:08:48,087 --> 00:08:48,786
>> LINA: Thank you.
358
00:08:48,788 --> 00:08:49,753
>> JESS: My treat.
359
00:08:49,755 --> 00:08:52,590
They make the best smoothies.
360
00:08:52,592 --> 00:08:53,657
>> LINA: I cannot believe how
361
00:08:53,659 --> 00:08:54,825
frustrating this is-- there are
362
00:08:54,827 --> 00:08:55,826
no houses for rent.
363
00:08:55,828 --> 00:08:56,827
>> JESS: Where are you looking,
364
00:08:56,829 --> 00:08:57,828
exactly?
365
00:08:57,830 --> 00:08:58,829
>> LINA: Well, we're kind of
366
00:08:58,831 --> 00:09:00,331
between something in our current
367
00:09:00,333 --> 00:09:03,200
school district or Costa Rica.
368
00:09:03,202 --> 00:09:05,336
(Jess chuckles)
369
00:09:05,338 --> 00:09:06,837
>> JESS: Why is that?
370
00:09:06,839 --> 00:09:07,838
>> LINA: Russ. He's having
371
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:09,773
another one of his freak-outs.
372
00:09:09,775 --> 00:09:12,443
>> JESS: Hmm.
373
00:09:12,445 --> 00:09:14,979
Can I say something?
374
00:09:14,981 --> 00:09:17,047
Maybe it's not a freak-out.
375
00:09:17,049 --> 00:09:19,717
I just don't think that...
376
00:09:19,719 --> 00:09:21,118
I don't think that Russ is
377
00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:22,820
happy.
378
00:09:22,822 --> 00:09:23,821
>> LINA: You don't think my
379
00:09:23,823 --> 00:09:25,990
husband is happy?
380
00:09:25,992 --> 00:09:27,458
Why? Did he tell you that when
381
00:09:27,460 --> 00:09:28,459
you guys were smoking weed in my
382
00:09:28,461 --> 00:09:29,460
van?
383
00:09:29,462 --> 00:09:30,961
>> JESS (sighs): He just said
384
00:09:30,963 --> 00:09:32,897
that you guys were in a rut.
385
00:09:32,899 --> 00:09:34,131
>> LINA: Well, who gets to be
386
00:09:34,133 --> 00:09:36,901
happy all the time, Jess, you?
387
00:09:36,903 --> 00:09:37,902
>> JESS: I don't know.
388
00:09:37,904 --> 00:09:39,904
I try to have fun.
389
00:09:39,906 --> 00:09:40,971
>> LINA: Well, I guess you're
390
00:09:40,973 --> 00:09:42,072
fun and I'm not. Forget it.
391
00:09:42,074 --> 00:09:43,073
>> JESS: Lina, that's not...
392
00:09:43,075 --> 00:09:45,843
I'm not...
393
00:09:45,845 --> 00:09:47,878
(Jess sighs)
394
00:09:50,916 --> 00:09:52,983
>> SHEPARD: Pretty swanky, huh?
395
00:09:52,985 --> 00:09:54,919
>> RUSS: Yeah. I'd say.
396
00:09:54,921 --> 00:09:56,487
You can see why Jess likes it
397
00:09:56,489 --> 00:09:57,488
here so much.
398
00:09:57,490 --> 00:09:58,656
>> SHEPARD: No, no, no, it's not
399
00:09:58,658 --> 00:09:59,657
the amenities.
400
00:09:59,659 --> 00:10:02,026
It's she likes the damaged men.
401
00:10:02,028 --> 00:10:04,929
It reminds her of her father.
402
00:10:04,931 --> 00:10:06,897
>> RUSS: Wait. Am I one of those
403
00:10:06,899 --> 00:10:07,898
damaged men?
404
00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:09,333
Is that why she's friends with
405
00:10:09,335 --> 00:10:10,334
me?
406
00:10:10,336 --> 00:10:11,368
>> SHEPARD: Are you just
407
00:10:11,370 --> 00:10:13,404
figuring that out now?
408
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,508
Hey... are you serious about
409
00:10:17,510 --> 00:10:19,677
moving to Costa Rica?
410
00:10:19,679 --> 00:10:21,278
>> RUSS: Yeah. Very.
411
00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:23,447
>> SHEPARD: Oh. I get it.
412
00:10:23,449 --> 00:10:25,516
I had a Costa Rica, too.
413
00:10:25,518 --> 00:10:27,718
Mine was Morocco.
414
00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:29,086
Never made it.
415
00:10:29,088 --> 00:10:31,689
>> RUSS: Don't you regret that?
416
00:10:31,691 --> 00:10:33,791
>> SHEPARD: Went to Egypt once.
417
00:10:33,793 --> 00:10:34,959
But do you think it's gonna be
418
00:10:34,961 --> 00:10:36,226
the best thing for the kids,
419
00:10:36,228 --> 00:10:37,394
truly?
420
00:10:37,396 --> 00:10:39,063
>> RUSS: Is it best for them
421
00:10:39,065 --> 00:10:40,064
that their father is miserable
422
00:10:40,066 --> 00:10:41,899
all the time?
423
00:10:41,901 --> 00:10:44,702
>> SHEPARD: Works for us.
424
00:10:44,704 --> 00:10:47,137
¶ ¶
425
00:10:47,139 --> 00:10:48,405
>> LINA: Hey, um, do you know
426
00:10:48,407 --> 00:10:49,573
when we're starting the therapy
427
00:10:49,575 --> 00:10:50,741
thing?
428
00:10:50,743 --> 00:10:51,942
>> RUSS: Uh, no, I don't.
429
00:10:51,944 --> 00:10:52,943
What's the rush?
430
00:10:52,945 --> 00:10:54,111
>> LINA: 'Cause I found a house.
431
00:10:54,113 --> 00:10:55,913
It's great. It's in our budget,
432
00:10:55,915 --> 00:10:57,247
it's in a great school district,
433
00:10:57,249 --> 00:10:59,149
and... guess what.
434
00:10:59,151 --> 00:10:59,783
>> RUSS: What?
435
00:10:59,785 --> 00:11:00,784
>> LINA: There's three
436
00:11:00,786 --> 00:11:01,752
bathrooms.
437
00:11:01,754 --> 00:11:02,786
And they're having an open house
438
00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:03,787
today.
439
00:11:03,789 --> 00:11:05,122
>> RUSS: Okay. We'll go after
440
00:11:05,124 --> 00:11:06,090
therapy.
441
00:11:06,092 --> 00:11:07,057
>> LINA: No, it will be gone by
442
00:11:07,059 --> 00:11:07,625
then.
443
00:11:07,627 --> 00:11:10,094
>> RUSS: I don't care.
444
00:11:10,096 --> 00:11:11,095
>> LINA: What?
445
00:11:11,097 --> 00:11:12,096
>> RUSS: You don't care about
446
00:11:12,098 --> 00:11:13,097
Costa Rica; I don't care about
447
00:11:13,099 --> 00:11:15,099
your third bathroom.
448
00:11:15,101 --> 00:11:17,134
>> LINA: My third bathroom?
449
00:11:17,136 --> 00:11:18,135
>> DR. FRED: Should we start?
450
00:11:18,137 --> 00:11:19,136
>> RUSS: Yes. Good to go.
451
00:11:19,138 --> 00:11:21,639
>> AJ: Let the healing begin!
452
00:11:26,177 --> 00:11:27,578
>> AJ: I would like to thank
453
00:11:27,580 --> 00:11:30,180
everyone for coming here.
454
00:11:30,182 --> 00:11:33,584
Well... not everyone, I guess,
455
00:11:33,586 --> 00:11:35,085
because, uh, everyone isn't
456
00:11:35,087 --> 00:11:36,587
here.
457
00:11:36,589 --> 00:11:39,590
I, uh... asked Roxanne to come,
458
00:11:39,592 --> 00:11:41,258
but she's at a women's apparel
459
00:11:41,260 --> 00:11:43,627
event at Newport Beach, and it's
460
00:11:43,629 --> 00:11:46,196
kind of strange that... this was
461
00:11:46,198 --> 00:11:47,798
her suggestion in the first
462
00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:49,166
place, for me to come here...
463
00:11:49,168 --> 00:11:50,267
>> DR. FRED: Maybe we should
464
00:11:50,269 --> 00:11:51,935
focus on the people who are
465
00:11:51,937 --> 00:11:54,138
here.
466
00:11:54,140 --> 00:11:55,205
>> AJ: My guy.
467
00:11:55,207 --> 00:11:56,373
>> JESS: I'll go. I'll go first.
468
00:11:56,375 --> 00:11:57,374
I want to.
469
00:11:57,376 --> 00:11:58,375
>> LINA: Actually, AJ, I would
470
00:11:58,377 --> 00:11:59,443
love to go first, because we're
471
00:11:59,445 --> 00:12:00,444
kind of in a rush.
472
00:12:00,446 --> 00:12:01,445
>> RUSS: Uh, no, we're not,
473
00:12:01,447 --> 00:12:02,446
actually.
474
00:12:02,448 --> 00:12:03,447
>> LINA: We are. I'm sorry...
475
00:12:03,449 --> 00:12:04,448
>> RUSS: Jess can go first if
476
00:12:04,450 --> 00:12:05,449
she wants to go first.
477
00:12:05,451 --> 00:12:07,618
>> JESS: Thank you. I do, I do.
478
00:12:07,620 --> 00:12:08,952
>> AJ: Of course you do.
479
00:12:08,954 --> 00:12:10,220
>> SHEPARD: What is that?
480
00:12:10,222 --> 00:12:11,555
What is with that attitude?
481
00:12:11,557 --> 00:12:12,956
I mean, Jess has come to visit
482
00:12:12,958 --> 00:12:13,991
you here almost, like, every
483
00:12:13,993 --> 00:12:14,992
day.
484
00:12:14,994 --> 00:12:15,993
>> AJ: 'Cause she gets off on
it.
485
00:12:15,995 --> 00:12:17,995
>> SHEPARD: Well, you know what?
486
00:12:17,997 --> 00:12:19,329
Even if she does, it doesn't
487
00:12:19,331 --> 00:12:20,698
mean she doesn't care about you.
488
00:12:20,700 --> 00:12:22,533
>> JESS: Thanks. You get me.
489
00:12:22,535 --> 00:12:23,667
>> AJ: I would just like to
490
00:12:23,669 --> 00:12:28,205
say... Jess, that I am so sorry
491
00:12:28,207 --> 00:12:30,908
for any inconvenience my
492
00:12:30,910 --> 00:12:33,077
addiction may have caused you.
493
00:12:33,079 --> 00:12:34,411
>> SHEPARD: You aware that
494
00:12:34,413 --> 00:12:35,913
"sorry" is not a sarcastic word?
495
00:12:35,915 --> 00:12:36,914
>> AJ: Growing up in my house,
496
00:12:36,916 --> 00:12:38,949
it was.
497
00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:46,323
I'm sorry.
498
00:12:46,325 --> 00:12:49,760
Shep... Jess...
499
00:12:49,762 --> 00:12:51,395
I know I can be a handful at
500
00:12:51,397 --> 00:12:53,397
times and I am not always the
501
00:12:53,399 --> 00:12:55,232
most punctual.
502
00:12:55,234 --> 00:12:57,234
I dinged your car that one time,
503
00:12:57,236 --> 00:12:59,236
and, uh, I'm sorry that I, uh,
504
00:12:59,238 --> 00:13:01,405
left you that little surprise in
505
00:13:01,407 --> 00:13:03,440
your guest bathroom.
506
00:13:03,442 --> 00:13:05,075
>> LINA (clears throat): AJ, I
507
00:13:05,077 --> 00:13:06,677
am so sorry, I love you, but I
508
00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:07,745
need to go.
509
00:13:07,747 --> 00:13:08,746
>> AJ: Wait, no, no, I haven't
510
00:13:08,748 --> 00:13:10,280
apologized yet.
511
00:13:10,282 --> 00:13:11,281
>> LINA: I forgive you.
512
00:13:11,283 --> 00:13:12,282
>> AJ: No. No, no, no, no.
513
00:13:12,284 --> 00:13:13,884
That's not how this works.
514
00:13:13,886 --> 00:13:15,786
You don't forgive me before I
515
00:13:15,788 --> 00:13:17,254
apologize, all right?
516
00:13:17,256 --> 00:13:18,255
That's putting the cart before
517
00:13:18,257 --> 00:13:19,189
the horse, and that's...
518
00:13:19,191 --> 00:13:20,057
>> LINA: Russ, let's go.
519
00:13:20,059 --> 00:13:20,857
>> RUSS: No.
520
00:13:20,859 --> 00:13:21,625
>> AJ: No, no, no, you can't
521
00:13:21,627 --> 00:13:22,225
take him.
522
00:13:22,227 --> 00:13:23,460
>> JESS: If you really want to
523
00:13:23,462 --> 00:13:26,196
leave, we can give you a ride home.
>> LINA: He's not going home
524
00:13:26,198 --> 00:13:27,197
with you, he's coming with me.
525
00:13:27,199 --> 00:13:28,198
>> JESS: Hey, you know what?
526
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:29,133
You're being a little bit
527
00:13:29,135 --> 00:13:30,067
controlling, and this isn't
528
00:13:30,069 --> 00:13:30,701
about you.
529
00:13:30,703 --> 00:13:31,435
>> LINA: Don't.
530
00:13:31,437 --> 00:13:32,236
>> JESS: Don't what?
531
00:13:32,238 --> 00:13:33,203
>> LINA: Don't say shit, or I
will go.
532
00:13:33,205 --> 00:13:34,805
>> JESS: I am not afraid of you,
533
00:13:34,807 --> 00:13:35,806
Lina.
534
00:13:35,808 --> 00:13:37,107
Please, bring it on.
535
00:13:37,109 --> 00:13:38,308
>> LINA: Okay, fine. I think you
536
00:13:38,310 --> 00:13:39,576
need to spend a little more time
537
00:13:39,578 --> 00:13:40,978
worrying about your own marriage
538
00:13:40,980 --> 00:13:43,447
and be less involved in mine.
539
00:13:43,449 --> 00:13:44,448
>> JESS: Meaning what?
540
00:13:44,450 --> 00:13:45,449
>> LINA: Meaning that your
541
00:13:45,451 --> 00:13:46,817
husband eats dinner alone every
542
00:13:46,819 --> 00:13:48,318
night with the nanny, and your
543
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:50,621
son only speaks Spanish.
544
00:13:52,624 --> 00:13:54,758
>> SHEPARD: Uh... Spanish, it's
545
00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:55,759
a beautiful language, Spanish.
546
00:13:55,761 --> 00:13:56,727
>> AJ: I wish I knew how to
speak Spanish.
547
00:13:56,729 --> 00:13:58,328
>> RUSS: You should come down to
548
00:13:58,330 --> 00:13:59,329
Costa Rica with us and then we
549
00:13:59,331 --> 00:14:00,330
could all speak Spanish.
550
00:14:00,332 --> 00:14:02,166
>> JESS: Just let it go, man.
551
00:14:02,168 --> 00:14:03,634
She's not gonna want to bang you
552
00:14:03,636 --> 00:14:05,068
in Costa Rica, either-- she
553
00:14:05,070 --> 00:14:06,470
flat-out does not want to do it.
554
00:14:06,472 --> 00:14:07,437
>> SHEPARD: I think you can stop
now.
555
00:14:07,439 --> 00:14:09,072
>> JESS: And she doesn't even...
556
00:14:09,074 --> 00:14:10,073
>> LINA: No, it's okay.
557
00:14:10,075 --> 00:14:11,408
She's right, she's right.
558
00:14:11,410 --> 00:14:12,676
I am not gonna change, no matter
559
00:14:12,678 --> 00:14:13,610
where I live.
560
00:14:13,612 --> 00:14:14,745
So, honey, I don't think it's a
561
00:14:14,747 --> 00:14:15,913
different country that you want.
562
00:14:15,915 --> 00:14:16,947
I think it's a different person.
563
00:14:16,949 --> 00:14:17,948
>> RUSS: Oh, please.
564
00:14:17,950 --> 00:14:18,949
(indistinct chatter)
565
00:14:18,951 --> 00:14:20,250
>> AJ: Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey,
566
00:14:20,252 --> 00:14:21,285
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
567
00:14:21,287 --> 00:14:23,487
I am the one who is addicted to
568
00:14:23,489 --> 00:14:25,022
drugs and alcohol here, okay.
569
00:14:25,024 --> 00:14:27,291
Can we please bring it back to
570
00:14:27,293 --> 00:14:30,627
me?
571
00:14:30,629 --> 00:14:31,929
You want to know what I'm sorry
572
00:14:31,931 --> 00:14:32,930
about?
573
00:14:32,932 --> 00:14:33,931
That I invited you assholes here
574
00:14:33,933 --> 00:14:36,934
in the first place.
575
00:14:40,605 --> 00:14:44,441
>> SHEPARD: I love Family Day.
576
00:14:51,316 --> 00:14:53,851
>> LINA: Hey.
577
00:14:53,853 --> 00:14:56,887
Good morning.
578
00:14:58,389 --> 00:14:59,623
>> RUSS: Mm.
579
00:14:59,625 --> 00:15:01,458
>> LINA: I read your book.
580
00:15:01,460 --> 00:15:03,460
>> RUSS: What book?
581
00:15:03,462 --> 00:15:04,461
>> LINA: About the idiot who
582
00:15:04,463 --> 00:15:05,462
makes his whole entire family
583
00:15:05,464 --> 00:15:06,463
travel around the world with
584
00:15:06,465 --> 00:15:07,464
him.
585
00:15:07,466 --> 00:15:08,465
>> RUSS: Oh, you did?
586
00:15:08,467 --> 00:15:09,466
>> LINA: You've been pulling
587
00:15:09,468 --> 00:15:10,534
out of my nightstand and putting
588
00:15:10,536 --> 00:15:11,535
on my pillow ever single night.
589
00:15:11,537 --> 00:15:12,536
Yeah.
590
00:15:12,538 --> 00:15:15,005
>> RUSS: That's awesome.
591
00:15:15,007 --> 00:15:16,506
Okay.
592
00:15:16,508 --> 00:15:17,507
And?
593
00:15:17,509 --> 00:15:18,508
>> LINA: Thought it was
594
00:15:18,510 --> 00:15:21,745
well-written.
595
00:15:21,747 --> 00:15:23,981
But the part in Iceland, I
596
00:15:23,983 --> 00:15:27,150
thought... was really scary.
597
00:15:27,152 --> 00:15:28,151
>> RUSS: Uh-huh.
598
00:15:28,153 --> 00:15:29,152
>> LINA: Right?
599
00:15:29,154 --> 00:15:30,020
>> RUSS: Yeah.
600
00:15:30,022 --> 00:15:31,188
>> LINA: I mean, that's what I'm
601
00:15:31,190 --> 00:15:32,689
worried about, you know?
602
00:15:32,691 --> 00:15:33,690
>> RUSS: Yeah, that was
603
00:15:33,692 --> 00:15:35,259
terrifying.
604
00:15:35,261 --> 00:15:37,427
>> LINA: What part of it?
605
00:15:37,429 --> 00:15:40,564
>> RUSS: The same part.
606
00:15:40,566 --> 00:15:42,699
When they do that, uh...
607
00:15:42,701 --> 00:15:43,700
They, you know...
608
00:15:43,702 --> 00:15:44,701
The part where the...
609
00:15:44,703 --> 00:15:46,570
The scary part where they do...
610
00:15:46,572 --> 00:15:48,572
They go through the thing.
611
00:15:48,574 --> 00:15:49,573
>> LINA: Holy shit.
612
00:15:49,575 --> 00:15:51,241
You didn't even finish it, did
613
00:15:51,243 --> 00:15:52,242
you?
614
00:15:52,244 --> 00:15:53,577
>> RUSS: I finished some of it.
615
00:15:53,579 --> 00:15:55,379
I'm not a reader.
616
00:15:55,381 --> 00:15:57,114
>> LINA: You're not a planner,
617
00:15:57,116 --> 00:15:58,548
either.
618
00:15:58,550 --> 00:16:00,050
You know if we do this, I am
619
00:16:00,052 --> 00:16:01,952
gonna end up doing everything.
620
00:16:01,954 --> 00:16:03,687
I'm gonna have to find a house
621
00:16:03,689 --> 00:16:04,688
and find a school and find a
622
00:16:04,690 --> 00:16:05,689
pediatrician.
623
00:16:05,691 --> 00:16:06,924
>> RUSS: That's not true.
624
00:16:06,926 --> 00:16:07,925
>> LINA: Yeah, it is, yes.
625
00:16:07,927 --> 00:16:08,926
>> RUSS: I would do some of that
626
00:16:08,928 --> 00:16:09,927
stuff.
627
00:16:09,929 --> 00:16:10,928
>> LINA: No, you wouldn't.
628
00:16:10,930 --> 00:16:11,929
You wouldn't.
629
00:16:11,931 --> 00:16:12,930
>> RUSS: You're better at it
630
00:16:12,932 --> 00:16:13,964
than I am.
631
00:16:13,966 --> 00:16:17,034
I could carry the luggage.
632
00:16:17,036 --> 00:16:19,102
>> LINA: You could carry the
633
00:16:19,104 --> 00:16:20,103
luggage.
634
00:16:20,105 --> 00:16:21,538
>> RUSS: So what do you think?
635
00:16:21,540 --> 00:16:22,539
I mean...
636
00:16:22,541 --> 00:16:24,641
>> LINA: I think, um...
637
00:16:24,643 --> 00:16:27,811
>> RUSS: Are you... into it?
638
00:16:27,813 --> 00:16:28,912
>> LINA: No, I wouldn't say I'm
639
00:16:28,914 --> 00:16:29,913
into it.
640
00:16:29,915 --> 00:16:31,882
I'm... open to it.
641
00:16:31,884 --> 00:16:32,883
>> RUSS: You wouldn't have
642
00:16:32,885 --> 00:16:35,452
brought this up if there wasn't
643
00:16:35,454 --> 00:16:38,388
a piece of you that was into it.
644
00:16:38,390 --> 00:16:39,389
>> LINA (quietly): I'm a little
645
00:16:39,391 --> 00:16:41,291
bit into it.
646
00:16:41,293 --> 00:16:44,494
>> RUSS: It'll be so good.
647
00:16:50,735 --> 00:16:52,402
(doorbell rings)
648
00:16:52,404 --> 00:16:53,403
>> AJ (laughing): Hey.
649
00:16:53,405 --> 00:16:55,272
>> RUSS: Hey! There he is.
650
00:16:55,274 --> 00:16:56,306
>> AJ: Good to see you, man.
651
00:16:56,308 --> 00:16:57,307
>> RUSS: Good to see you.
652
00:16:57,309 --> 00:16:58,308
>> AJ: Hey, look-- I got my
653
00:16:58,310 --> 00:16:59,309
weekends back.
654
00:16:59,311 --> 00:17:00,310
>> RUSS: Hi, Caitlin.
655
00:17:00,312 --> 00:17:02,312
You're looking good, man.
656
00:17:02,314 --> 00:17:03,313
>> AJ: Thanks.
657
00:17:03,315 --> 00:17:04,314
I'm running again.
658
00:17:04,316 --> 00:17:05,315
>> RUSS: Nice.
659
00:17:05,317 --> 00:17:06,316
>> BERNIE: Cool.
660
00:17:06,318 --> 00:17:07,317
>> AJ: You ever hear of the
661
00:17:07,319 --> 00:17:08,318
runner's high?
662
00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:09,319
>> BERNIE: Yeah. How is that?
663
00:17:09,321 --> 00:17:10,854
>> AJ: Not as good, man.
664
00:17:10,856 --> 00:17:11,855
Not as good.
665
00:17:11,857 --> 00:17:14,358
>> BERNIE: Oh.
666
00:17:14,360 --> 00:17:16,360
>> JESS: Mm.
667
00:17:16,362 --> 00:17:17,361
Ooh.
668
00:17:17,363 --> 00:17:18,362
(baby fussing)
669
00:17:18,364 --> 00:17:19,363
Tomato time?
670
00:17:19,365 --> 00:17:20,364
What do you think?
671
00:17:20,366 --> 00:17:21,365
So it looks like you guys are
672
00:17:21,367 --> 00:17:22,366
staying put.
673
00:17:22,368 --> 00:17:23,367
>> LINA: Yeah. The new owners
674
00:17:23,369 --> 00:17:25,002
decided they want to wait a
675
00:17:25,004 --> 00:17:27,337
while to build, so we can stay
676
00:17:27,339 --> 00:17:28,338
for now.
677
00:17:28,340 --> 00:17:29,339
We're on a month-to-month.
678
00:17:29,341 --> 00:17:30,340
>> JESS: That's good, yeah?
679
00:17:30,342 --> 00:17:31,475
>> LINA: Mm-hmm, yeah, it is
680
00:17:31,477 --> 00:17:33,176
good.
681
00:17:33,178 --> 00:17:34,311
And every night after we put the
682
00:17:34,313 --> 00:17:36,113
girls to bed, Russ and I stay up
683
00:17:36,115 --> 00:17:38,215
and go online and plan our
684
00:17:38,217 --> 00:17:40,550
escape to Costa Rica.
685
00:17:40,552 --> 00:17:42,352
>> JESS: Yeah, mm-hmm.
686
00:17:42,354 --> 00:17:43,353
I get it.
687
00:17:43,355 --> 00:17:44,354
>> LINA: What about some nap
688
00:17:44,356 --> 00:17:45,355
time?
689
00:17:45,357 --> 00:17:46,356
>> JESS: I'm gonna tuck him in
690
00:17:46,358 --> 00:17:47,791
with this tomato.
691
00:17:47,793 --> 00:17:48,792
>> RUSS: Here you go.
692
00:17:48,794 --> 00:17:49,659
Yo.
693
00:17:49,661 --> 00:17:50,560
>> BERNIE: You made 'em too
694
00:17:50,562 --> 00:17:51,561
small.
695
00:17:51,563 --> 00:17:52,562
>> RUSS: No, I did not.
696
00:17:52,564 --> 00:17:53,563
>> JESS: Are you having another
697
00:17:53,565 --> 00:17:54,564
hamburger?
698
00:17:54,566 --> 00:17:55,565
>> SHEPARD: Okay, first of all,
699
00:17:55,567 --> 00:17:56,566
it's a slider.
700
00:17:56,568 --> 00:17:57,567
>> JESS: Yeah.
701
00:17:57,569 --> 00:17:58,568
>> SHEPARD: Second of all, shut
702
00:17:58,570 --> 00:17:59,403
up.
703
00:17:59,405 --> 00:18:00,404
>> JESS: He's trying to eat his
704
00:18:00,406 --> 00:18:01,238
way out of our marriage.
705
00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:02,072
>> SHEPARD: I heard that.
706
00:18:02,074 --> 00:18:02,873
>> JESS: I know you did.
707
00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:03,907
Maybe just try not to die before
708
00:18:03,909 --> 00:18:04,741
the bar mitzvah.
709
00:18:04,743 --> 00:18:05,642
>> SHEPARD: No, no, no, no.
710
00:18:05,644 --> 00:18:06,476
I got it all planned out.
711
00:18:06,478 --> 00:18:07,344
>> JESS: Hmm.
712
00:18:07,346 --> 00:18:08,311
>> RUSS: What, the bar mitzvah?
713
00:18:08,313 --> 00:18:09,146
>> SHEPARD: No. My death.
714
00:18:09,148 --> 00:18:10,047
>> JESS: Nobody wants to hear
715
00:18:10,049 --> 00:18:10,881
about your death.
716
00:18:10,883 --> 00:18:11,815
>> SHEPARD: Oh, you know, she
717
00:18:11,817 --> 00:18:12,582
just wants to hear about
718
00:18:12,584 --> 00:18:13,550
the insurance.
719
00:18:13,552 --> 00:18:14,484
>> RUSS: I would like to hear
720
00:18:14,486 --> 00:18:15,385
about your death.
721
00:18:15,387 --> 00:18:16,319
>> LINA: I want to hear about
722
00:18:16,321 --> 00:18:17,254
your death.
723
00:18:17,256 --> 00:18:18,155
>> AJ: Yeah, I freaking love
724
00:18:18,157 --> 00:18:18,889
death fantasies.
725
00:18:18,891 --> 00:18:19,756
>> SHEPARD: All right, well,
726
00:18:19,758 --> 00:18:20,824
here's what's gonna happen.
727
00:18:20,826 --> 00:18:21,758
You know, uh, Leaving Las
728
00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:22,826
Vegas when Nick Cage goes to
729
00:18:22,828 --> 00:18:23,760
Vegas, and he drinks himself to
730
00:18:23,762 --> 00:18:24,694
death?
731
00:18:24,696 --> 00:18:25,695
>> AJ AND RUSS: Yeah.
732
00:18:25,697 --> 00:18:26,696
>> SHEPARD: So, mine is like
733
00:18:26,698 --> 00:18:28,031
that, but instead of Vegas, I go
734
00:18:28,033 --> 00:18:29,433
to Memphis, and instead of
735
00:18:29,435 --> 00:18:30,367
booze, it's brisket.
736
00:18:30,369 --> 00:18:31,201
But the idea is the same.
737
00:18:31,203 --> 00:18:32,102
>> BERNIE: Okay, that's good.
738
00:18:32,104 --> 00:18:33,103
>> AJ: Good stuff.
739
00:18:33,105 --> 00:18:34,104
>> RUSS: Everything in
740
00:18:34,106 --> 00:18:34,938
moderation.
741
00:18:34,940 --> 00:18:35,939
>> JESS: Yeah, I'm gonna OD old
742
00:18:35,941 --> 00:18:36,940
school.
743
00:18:36,942 --> 00:18:37,841
>> AJ: Oh, yeah?
744
00:18:37,843 --> 00:18:38,775
>> JESS: The kids come in, they
745
00:18:38,777 --> 00:18:39,709
find Mommy choking on her own
746
00:18:39,711 --> 00:18:40,610
vomit. Done.
747
00:18:40,612 --> 00:18:41,545
>> RUSS: Good times.
748
00:18:41,547 --> 00:18:42,446
>> LINA: Yeah, it's kind of
749
00:18:42,448 --> 00:18:43,447
glamorous in a way.
750
00:18:43,449 --> 00:18:44,281
>> BERNIE: Rock and roll.
751
00:18:44,283 --> 00:18:46,249
>> SHEPARD: So sweet, honey.
752
00:18:46,251 --> 00:18:47,184
>> LINA: You just said "kids,"
753
00:18:47,186 --> 00:18:48,051
more than one.
754
00:18:48,053 --> 00:18:49,019
>> JESS: I did. We're trying.
755
00:18:49,021 --> 00:18:49,886
>> LINA: Oh, that's good.
756
00:18:49,888 --> 00:18:50,887
>> JESS: Yeah, you know, I was
757
00:18:50,889 --> 00:18:51,888
thinking, now when you judge me
758
00:18:51,890 --> 00:18:52,889
for being a bad mother, you can
759
00:18:52,891 --> 00:18:53,890
make me feel twice as shitty.
760
00:18:53,892 --> 00:18:54,891
>> LINA: Okay, all right.
761
00:18:54,893 --> 00:18:55,892
>> JESS: I'm doing it for you.
762
00:18:55,894 --> 00:18:56,927
>> LINA: Thank you.
763
00:18:56,929 --> 00:18:57,928
>> JESS: I'm doing it for you.
764
00:18:57,930 --> 00:18:59,596
>> LINA: That's really
765
00:18:59,598 --> 00:19:00,597
considerate.
766
00:19:00,599 --> 00:19:01,698
>> JESS (laughing): Yeah.
767
00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:02,766
>> LINA: You are never going to
768
00:19:02,768 --> 00:19:04,534
let me forget that, are you?
769
00:19:04,536 --> 00:19:05,535
>> JESS: No.
770
00:19:05,537 --> 00:19:06,536
>> RUSS: Yeah, I bet AJ's got a
771
00:19:06,538 --> 00:19:07,537
good death story. AJ?
772
00:19:07,539 --> 00:19:08,538
>> SHEPARD: Hmm.
773
00:19:08,540 --> 00:19:09,539
>> AJ: Oh. Oh.
774
00:19:09,541 --> 00:19:10,540
You think so?
775
00:19:10,542 --> 00:19:11,575
>> RUSS: Yeah.
776
00:19:11,577 --> 00:19:13,210
>> BERNIE: I'll hear it.
777
00:19:13,212 --> 00:19:14,444
>> AJ: Oh, I do.
778
00:19:14,446 --> 00:19:15,946
>> SHEPARD: It's gonna be good.
779
00:19:15,948 --> 00:19:16,980
>> AJ: So, I'm running in the
780
00:19:16,982 --> 00:19:18,081
canyon the other day, and I see
781
00:19:18,083 --> 00:19:20,650
this giant, gigantic pile of
782
00:19:20,652 --> 00:19:21,651
horseshit.
783
00:19:21,653 --> 00:19:22,652
>> BERNIE: Mm.
784
00:19:22,654 --> 00:19:23,653
>> AJ: Must have been a 30-pound
785
00:19:23,655 --> 00:19:24,654
dump.
786
00:19:24,656 --> 00:19:26,723
And I think to myself, how great
787
00:19:26,725 --> 00:19:28,959
would it be to be responsible
788
00:19:28,961 --> 00:19:30,660
for something that substantial,
789
00:19:30,662 --> 00:19:32,662
right?
790
00:19:32,664 --> 00:19:34,331
>> RUSS: Wait. So, what's the
791
00:19:34,333 --> 00:19:37,300
death part, then?
792
00:19:37,302 --> 00:19:38,468
>> AJ: I shit my brains out.
793
00:19:38,470 --> 00:19:40,337
Literally.
794
00:19:40,339 --> 00:19:41,471
And not just my brains.
795
00:19:41,473 --> 00:19:43,773
All of my vital organs-- liver,
796
00:19:43,775 --> 00:19:45,942
kidneys, heart, you name it.
797
00:19:45,944 --> 00:19:49,679
Everything that is inside of me
798
00:19:49,681 --> 00:19:53,416
comes out of me.
799
00:19:53,418 --> 00:19:54,784
I mean, how cool would that be?
800
00:19:54,786 --> 00:19:55,785
>> SHEPARD: Mm.
801
00:19:55,787 --> 00:19:56,920
>> AJ: For one split second to
802
00:19:56,922 --> 00:19:58,822
see your beating heart in the
803
00:19:58,824 --> 00:20:01,358
toilet.
804
00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:02,692
And then you die with a smile on
805
00:20:02,694 --> 00:20:05,662
your face, because you know you
806
00:20:05,664 --> 00:20:07,030
finally did something
807
00:20:07,032 --> 00:20:09,199
meaningful.
808
00:20:09,201 --> 00:20:10,200
>> SHEPARD: Okay, um, I don't
809
00:20:10,202 --> 00:20:11,201
want this anymore.
810
00:20:11,203 --> 00:20:12,202
(laughter)
811
00:20:12,204 --> 00:20:14,704
>> RUSS: That is gonna be, uh,
812
00:20:14,706 --> 00:20:16,206
tough to follow.
813
00:20:16,208 --> 00:20:18,041
>> LINA: Impossible.
814
00:20:18,043 --> 00:20:19,209
>> RUSS: What about you, babe?
815
00:20:19,211 --> 00:20:20,210
>> LINA: Me?
816
00:20:20,212 --> 00:20:21,211
>> RUSS: Yeah, let's hear it.
817
00:20:21,213 --> 00:20:22,212
>> LINA: All right, well, the
818
00:20:22,214 --> 00:20:23,213
girls are gone, they're in
819
00:20:23,215 --> 00:20:24,214
college, they're good.
820
00:20:24,216 --> 00:20:25,615
No one's pregnant, no one's
821
00:20:25,617 --> 00:20:26,616
working the pole.
822
00:20:26,618 --> 00:20:27,651
Cheers.
823
00:20:27,653 --> 00:20:28,652
Um, we sell the house, and we...
824
00:20:28,654 --> 00:20:29,653
>> RUSS: Uh, wait.
825
00:20:29,655 --> 00:20:33,490
What house?
826
00:20:33,492 --> 00:20:34,491
>> LINA: It's my fantasy.
827
00:20:34,493 --> 00:20:35,492
In my fantasy, we own a house.
828
00:20:35,494 --> 00:20:36,493
>> RUSS: Oh, all right.
829
00:20:36,495 --> 00:20:38,895
>> LINA: Okay? We sell the
830
00:20:38,897 --> 00:20:41,798
house, and travel the whole
831
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:42,799
world.
832
00:20:42,801 --> 00:20:43,967
And we see all the places
833
00:20:43,969 --> 00:20:44,968
together that we always talked
834
00:20:44,970 --> 00:20:47,904
about seeing.
835
00:20:47,906 --> 00:20:49,472
And then, when we're done,
836
00:20:49,474 --> 00:20:51,841
murder, suicide.
837
00:20:51,843 --> 00:20:52,842
>> RUSS: Ah.
838
00:20:52,844 --> 00:20:53,843
(people exclaim)
839
00:20:53,845 --> 00:20:54,844
>> BERNIE: That's kind of
840
00:20:54,846 --> 00:20:55,845
perfect.
841
00:20:55,847 --> 00:20:56,680
>> RUSS: You want to die
842
00:20:56,682 --> 00:20:57,547
together?
843
00:20:57,549 --> 00:20:58,515
>> LINA: Baby, there's no one
844
00:20:58,517 --> 00:20:59,516
I want to die next to but you.
845
00:20:59,518 --> 00:21:00,517
>> RUSS: Oh, you're the only
846
00:21:00,519 --> 00:21:01,518
person I want to be murdered by.
847
00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:02,519
>> ALL: Aw.
848
00:21:02,521 --> 00:21:03,520
>> SHEPARD: That's so sweet.
849
00:21:03,522 --> 00:21:04,521
>> JESS: It's great.
850
00:21:04,523 --> 00:21:05,522
You guys are so cute.
851
00:21:05,524 --> 00:21:06,523
>> SHEPARD: How come you never
852
00:21:06,525 --> 00:21:07,524
offered to murder me?
853
00:21:07,526 --> 00:21:08,525
>> BERNIE: Anyone want to know
854
00:21:08,527 --> 00:21:09,526
how I want to die?
855
00:21:09,528 --> 00:21:10,560
>> SHEPARD: Yes.
856
00:21:10,562 --> 00:21:11,561
>> BERNIE: Okay.
857
00:21:11,563 --> 00:21:12,562
>> AJ: Huh?
858
00:21:12,564 --> 00:21:13,563
>> LINA: Choke yourself to
859
00:21:13,565 --> 00:21:14,564
death.
860
00:21:14,566 --> 00:21:15,565
>> SHEPARD: Necktie?
861
00:21:15,567 --> 00:21:16,566
>> JESS: What's that?
862
00:21:16,568 --> 00:21:17,567
>> BERNIE: Sex accident.
863
00:21:17,569 --> 00:21:18,568
(laughter)
864
00:21:18,570 --> 00:21:19,569
>> JESS: Yeah, yeah.
865
00:21:19,571 --> 00:21:20,570
>> AJ: Okay. No.
866
00:21:20,572 --> 00:21:21,571
>> BERNIE: Choking during sex.
867
00:21:21,573 --> 00:21:23,406
>> JESS: Sex accident-- yeah,
868
00:21:23,408 --> 00:21:24,407
yeah, that's good.
869
00:21:24,409 --> 00:21:25,242
>> SHEPARD: Sex accident.
870
00:21:25,244 --> 00:21:26,243
Sex accident.
871
00:21:26,245 --> 00:21:27,244
>> RUSS: Can I change mine?
872
00:21:27,246 --> 00:21:28,778
>> LINA: No.
54794
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