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(indistinct talking)
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(dog barking)
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>> RUSS: What do you want?
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>> FRANKIE: I want waffles.
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Daddy.
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I want waffles, I want waffles,
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I want waffles.
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>> RUSS: Over easy or sunny side
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up?
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>> FRANKIE: I want waffles.
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>> RUSS: Okay, over easy.
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(doorbell rings)
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Ugh, that's for you.
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>> LINA: Coming!
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(rapid knocking)
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Hello?
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>> REALTOR: Hi, are you guys
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ready for the open house?
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>> LINA: The open what?
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>> REALTOR: Open house.
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>> LINA: This is bullshit.
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The landlord has to call; you
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can't just have an open house.
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We live here.
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>> RUSS: You need to keep it
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down.
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>> LINA: It's bullshit!
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>> RUSS: Shh!
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>> LINA: You have to let your
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tenant know.
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Did you hide the, um...?
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>> RUSS: I hid all the
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usual crap.
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My weed, your vibrator, your
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mom's jewelry, the Polaroids.
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>> LINA: The Polaroids?
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>> RUSS: They're mine.
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Those are mine.
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>> LINA: They're of me.
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>> RUSS: They're mine.
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>> MAN: The kitchen would have
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to be gutted.
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How disgusting were those
bathrooms?
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>> WOMAN: They look like they've
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never been cleaned.
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>> RUSS: They're not that dirty.
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>> LINA: Yes, they are.
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>> LINA: Here's one-- three
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bedrooms.
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Cozy. Craftsman style house.
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>> RUSS: "Cozy" means tiny.
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>> LINA: What about three
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bedrooms and a pool.
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Oh, wait, never mind, it's an
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apartment complex.
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Are you watching the kids?
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>> RUSS: Yes.
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>> LINA: This is so depressing.
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I hate renting.
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>> RUSS: Why?
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We've got total freedom with
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renting, you know?
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I don't want to be tied down.
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>> LINA: We have three kids.
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We're tied down.
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>> RUSS: Yeah, but what if we
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need to, like, leave the country
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suddenly, you know?
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What if we get jobs in Costa
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Rica?
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>> LINA: I just want to own
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something.
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I want to own something before I
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die.
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I want to die in the place that
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I own.
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>> RUSS: Got it. Buy a house,
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murder you, have sex with your
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corpse.
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>> DAVID: Oh, hi.
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>> JESS: Hi, David.
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Do you want to see me?
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>> DAVID: Yeah. Come on in.
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>> JESS: Yeah.
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(locks door)
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Am I getting fired?
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>> DAVID: What?
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>> JESS: 'Cause you just shut
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the door and locked it, and I
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feel like that means I'm getting
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fired.
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(David laughs)
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Or bent over something.
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Am I getting bent over?
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>> DAVID: No. Uh, Jess, do you
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remember the thing we talked
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about before Christmas?
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>> JESS: Yes, I do. (gasps)
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>> DAVID: Yeah, so...
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>> JESS: Are you putting me on
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Valerie's team?
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That's awesome. Thank you.
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>> DAVID: No, actually...
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>> JESS: Uh, let me just say,
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I've really been thinking about
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this, and I feel very ready.
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>> DAVID: Stop. The reason I,
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uh, called you in here is I need
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to... I need to get some
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tickets.
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You know... eight tickets in row
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"C."
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>> JESS: Am I being invited or
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not invited to something?
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>> DAVID (quietly): I need an
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eight-ball.
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>> JESS: Oh. (laughs) You want
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me to get cocaine for you.
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You want me to buy drugs for
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you.
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>> DAVID: Hey, I-I'd love it if
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you'd please use code.
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>> JESS: Oh, I get it. Okay, um,
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eight tickets in row cocaine.
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(clicks tongue)
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>> DAVID: (laughs nervously)
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Okay, thanks. Thank you.
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That's it. Great.
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>> JESS: Thank you.
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>> DAVID: Thanks, yeah, that's
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it.
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>> JESS: I think it's cool that
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he asked me to get the drugs,
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because it's like he still
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thinks I have that hookup, you
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know?
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And I like being that girl.
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>> RUSS: You're not really a
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girl.
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>> JESS: Can you ask your
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husband to please be nice to me?
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I'm going through too much shit
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right now to deal with you.
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>> LINA: What about a duplex in
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Encino?
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>> RUSS: Mm. Like that idea.
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We get one house, the kids get
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another.
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That'd be sweet.
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Oh, wow.
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This is a new direction for AJ.
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>> LINA: Way less whore-y than
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usual.
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>> RUSS: Yeah.
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>> JESS: She might...
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even have pubes.
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>> RUSS: Retro.
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>> CYNTHIA: Hello.
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Hi. I'm Cynthia.
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>> RUSS: Russ. This is my wife
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Lina.
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>> CYNTHIA: Nice to meet you.
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>> AJ: This is Jess. Hello.
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How are you?
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>> CYNTHIA: Well, thank God
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we're zoned for Carpenter
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Elementary, because only three
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houses over it's Moorpark.
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>> LINA: Oh, yeah, they only got
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a seven out of ten.
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>> CYNTHIA: Exactly. And we
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looked at this other house and
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thought about getting a virtual
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address.
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>> AJ (quietly): She's so
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normal.
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>> RUSS: That's good, right?
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>> AJ: (sighs) Yeah.
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Normal makes me hard.
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It's my new fetish.
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>> JESS: My new fetish is men
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with a really leathery skin.
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>> AJ: Mm.
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>> JESS: I also imagine that the
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skin is crispy and hot to the
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touch.
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I might just want chicken.
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(laughs)
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>> CYNTHIA: We have to do this
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again soon.
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>> LINA: Absolutely.
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>> CYNTHIA: It's so nice to meet
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you both.
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>> RUSS: Nice to meet you as
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well.
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>> CYNTHIA: Bye. Get home safe.
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>> RUSS and LINA: You, too.
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>> RUSS: All right, can we stop
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pretending that we valeted?
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>> LINA: Yes.
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>> RUSS: Thank you.
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>> LINA: Cynthia's cool.
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What's her story?
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>> RUSS: Uh, her and her husband
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are splitting up.
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I guess it's sort of ugly.
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>> LINA: Oh.
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>> RUSS: Mm-hmm.
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>> LINA: (gasps) A three-bedroom
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in Tarzana just opened up.
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>> RUSS: Mm.
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Oh... wait, that's right.
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AJ mentioned that Cynthia was
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selling her place.
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>> LINA: Really?
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>> RUSS: Yeah.
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>> LINA: What's she asking?
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>> RUSS: More than we can
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afford.
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>> LINA: Aw.
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(AJ hums a tune)
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>> AJ: Oh, my God.
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You guys are gonna love this
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house! (laughs)
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>> RUSS: It seems way out of our
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range.
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>> AJ: No, no, no, no, dude,
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it's a divorce sale.
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Cynthia and Karl just want to
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unload the place.
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>> LINA: It's really cute.
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>> AJ: This is great for you
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guys.
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>> RUSS: I just...
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>> LINA: We can look.
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>> RUSS: We can look, I just...
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>> AJ: Hello, Yolanda.
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We're here!
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It's a complete remodel.
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Cathedral ceilings, recessed
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lighting.
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I mean, you can't get
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better than this, right?
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>> RUSS: Yeah, we can't afford
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this.
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>> LINA: Just keep an open
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mind; you never know.
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>> RUSS: Mm, pretty much know.
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>> AJ: Let me show you the
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kiddies' room. Great, right?
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>> LINA: Honey, the girls could
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have their own rooms.
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>> RUSS: Oh, great, they should
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definitely have their own rooms.
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Oh, but, then, I don't know,
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where are we gonna put the
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butler? You know?
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I mean, I guess Maya could share
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with the butler, though.
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Is that weird?
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>> LINA: I hate you.
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>> RUSS: Do you think the roof's
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gonna be flat enough for the
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helipad?
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>> AJ: Look, you know, we're
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both taking our time out of our
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days to do this with you, so
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just have a better attitude.
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>> LINA: Honey, this could be
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your office!
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>> RUSS: Sure, why not?
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>> AJ: Yeah. And what is Karl's
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shit doing inside your office,
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huh? Yech!
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>> LINA: Okay, if we cash in
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your 401(k) from your old job
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and we get another loan from my
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mom...
279
00:06:14,934 --> 00:06:15,800
>> RUSS: We still won't have
enough.
280
00:06:15,802 --> 00:06:17,435
>> LINA: What if you go to work
281
00:06:17,437 --> 00:06:18,269
full-time for Bernie?
282
00:06:18,271 --> 00:06:19,303
>> RUSS: Which I'm not gonna do.
283
00:06:19,305 --> 00:06:20,304
>> AJ: Guys, I can help.
284
00:06:20,306 --> 00:06:21,305
What's the use of having money
285
00:06:21,307 --> 00:06:22,306
if you can't help your friends?
286
00:06:22,308 --> 00:06:24,608
>> LINA: When is it available?
287
00:06:24,610 --> 00:06:27,178
(AJ sighs)
288
00:06:27,180 --> 00:06:28,946
>> AJ: I wish I knew, man.
289
00:06:28,948 --> 00:06:30,147
She won't give me a straight
290
00:06:30,149 --> 00:06:31,148
answer.
291
00:06:31,150 --> 00:06:32,149
>> RUSS: Wait, so the house
292
00:06:32,151 --> 00:06:33,150
might not actually be for sale?
293
00:06:33,152 --> 00:06:34,151
>> AJ: Who knows?
294
00:06:34,153 --> 00:06:35,486
It's not fair to me, it's not
295
00:06:35,488 --> 00:06:37,288
fair to Karl, it's not fair to
296
00:06:37,290 --> 00:06:38,656
you guys-- we're all victims
297
00:06:38,658 --> 00:06:40,691
here.
298
00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:44,662
>> LINA: So the house might be
299
00:06:44,664 --> 00:06:46,697
for sale.
300
00:06:51,470 --> 00:06:53,170
>> LINA: So what's the deal with
301
00:06:53,172 --> 00:06:54,171
Cynthia?
302
00:06:54,173 --> 00:06:55,973
Is she getting divorced or not?
303
00:06:55,975 --> 00:06:57,041
>> AJ: She keeps saying, "We'll
304
00:06:57,043 --> 00:06:58,042
be together soon, we'll be
305
00:06:58,044 --> 00:06:59,143
together soon."
306
00:06:59,145 --> 00:07:00,845
What does "soon" mean?
307
00:07:00,847 --> 00:07:02,012
Is she talking about five years?
308
00:07:02,014 --> 00:07:03,013
Seven years?
309
00:07:03,015 --> 00:07:04,014
You know?
310
00:07:04,016 --> 00:07:05,015
When she gets with me, I still
311
00:07:05,017 --> 00:07:06,016
want to be able to get it up.
312
00:07:06,018 --> 00:07:07,017
>> RUSS: I think we are done
313
00:07:07,019 --> 00:07:08,018
here.
314
00:07:08,020 --> 00:07:09,019
>> LINA: We're not done.
315
00:07:09,021 --> 00:07:10,020
>> RUSS: Yes, we are.
316
00:07:10,022 --> 00:07:11,021
>> LINA: We're not done.
317
00:07:11,023 --> 00:07:12,022
>> RUSS: Yeah.
318
00:07:12,024 --> 00:07:13,023
>> LINA: I love that house.
319
00:07:13,025 --> 00:07:14,024
>> RUSS: I know, but maybe this
320
00:07:14,026 --> 00:07:15,025
is a sign.
321
00:07:15,027 --> 00:07:16,026
That house ruined Cynthia's
322
00:07:16,028 --> 00:07:17,027
marriage.
323
00:07:17,029 --> 00:07:18,028
>> LINA: The house didn't ruin
324
00:07:18,030 --> 00:07:19,029
their marriage.
325
00:07:19,031 --> 00:07:20,030
>> RUSS: She and Karl bought a
326
00:07:20,032 --> 00:07:21,031
big house, and now they are
327
00:07:21,033 --> 00:07:22,032
getting a divorce.
328
00:07:22,034 --> 00:07:23,033
Coincidence?
329
00:07:23,035 --> 00:07:25,069
>> LINA: Yes.
330
00:07:30,409 --> 00:07:32,710
>> DINO: Jess?
331
00:07:32,712 --> 00:07:34,044
>> JESS: Hey, Dino.
332
00:07:34,046 --> 00:07:35,713
>> DINO: Damn, you look fine.
333
00:07:35,715 --> 00:07:37,882
No, I'm-I'm out of the life.
334
00:07:37,884 --> 00:07:39,216
Have been for a while.
335
00:07:39,218 --> 00:07:40,718
>> JESS: You're taking a break?
336
00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:42,686
>> DINO: No, I'm done dealing
337
00:07:42,688 --> 00:07:43,687
forever.
338
00:07:43,689 --> 00:07:44,889
>> JESS: (chuckles) Did you get
339
00:07:44,891 --> 00:07:45,890
busted, Dino?
340
00:07:45,892 --> 00:07:46,891
>> DINO: No, I was too good for
341
00:07:46,893 --> 00:07:47,892
that.
342
00:07:47,894 --> 00:07:48,893
(Jess laughs)
343
00:07:48,895 --> 00:07:49,894
I just realized that slinging
344
00:07:49,896 --> 00:07:51,529
wasn't getting me anywhere.
345
00:07:51,531 --> 00:07:53,697
I'm all about hospitality now,
346
00:07:53,699 --> 00:07:54,932
you know what I'm saying?
347
00:07:54,934 --> 00:07:56,767
>> JESS: I don't.
348
00:07:56,769 --> 00:07:58,536
I... am so...
349
00:07:58,538 --> 00:07:59,937
So this is not a front?
350
00:07:59,939 --> 00:08:01,906
>> DINO: This is a career.
351
00:08:01,908 --> 00:08:05,042
>> JESS: Okay. All right.
352
00:08:05,044 --> 00:08:06,243
>> DINO: Look, the only thing
353
00:08:06,245 --> 00:08:07,711
I'm dealing now is an
354
00:08:07,713 --> 00:08:09,213
exceptional guest experience.
355
00:08:09,215 --> 00:08:10,915
I realized I had to think about
356
00:08:10,917 --> 00:08:12,049
a life path, you know?
357
00:08:12,051 --> 00:08:13,050
Career and shit.
358
00:08:13,052 --> 00:08:14,051
>> JESS: Totally.
359
00:08:14,053 --> 00:08:15,753
I'm just doing this for my boss.
360
00:08:15,755 --> 00:08:18,122
>> DINO: Oh. So you can relate.
361
00:08:18,124 --> 00:08:20,090
You're not somebody he respects.
362
00:08:20,092 --> 00:08:21,592
You're just another hustler.
363
00:08:21,594 --> 00:08:23,727
Hurts, right?
364
00:08:23,729 --> 00:08:24,728
>> JESS: I don't think that he
365
00:08:24,730 --> 00:08:25,729
thinks of me like that.
366
00:08:25,731 --> 00:08:26,730
>> DINO: I hated it when people
367
00:08:26,732 --> 00:08:27,731
only hit me up when they needed
368
00:08:27,733 --> 00:08:28,732
drugs.
369
00:08:28,734 --> 00:08:29,733
You know, some of the people I
370
00:08:29,735 --> 00:08:30,734
was dealing to didn't even know
371
00:08:30,736 --> 00:08:31,735
I had kids.
372
00:08:31,737 --> 00:08:32,736
>> JESS: Oh, yeah.
373
00:08:32,738 --> 00:08:33,771
Uh, they don't? That's...
374
00:08:33,773 --> 00:08:35,239
Wha...
375
00:08:35,241 --> 00:08:36,273
How are your... those kids?
376
00:08:36,275 --> 00:08:37,274
>> DINO: Good. Good.
377
00:08:37,276 --> 00:08:38,309
>> JESS: Good.
378
00:08:38,311 --> 00:08:39,443
>> DINO: Two more reasons why I
379
00:08:39,445 --> 00:08:40,611
stopped pushing the powder.
380
00:08:40,613 --> 00:08:41,612
>> JESS: That's nice.
381
00:08:41,614 --> 00:08:44,281
Cool.
382
00:08:44,283 --> 00:08:45,616
So you've just totally severed
383
00:08:45,618 --> 00:08:48,452
from that world or...
384
00:08:48,454 --> 00:08:50,454
Do you know anybody who still
385
00:08:50,456 --> 00:08:53,624
does... push the powder?
386
00:08:53,626 --> 00:08:55,092
Or... I don't know what to say.
387
00:08:55,094 --> 00:08:56,093
>> DINO: I-I gave it up
388
00:08:56,095 --> 00:08:57,094
completely.
389
00:08:57,096 --> 00:08:58,095
>> JESS: I know, but did you,
390
00:08:58,097 --> 00:08:59,096
like, say good-bye to all of
391
00:08:59,098 --> 00:09:00,097
your friends?
392
00:09:00,099 --> 00:09:01,098
>> DINO: Am I not making myself
393
00:09:01,100 --> 00:09:02,766
clear?
394
00:09:02,768 --> 00:09:03,767
>> LINA: Russ?
395
00:09:03,769 --> 00:09:04,768
>> RUSS (groggily): Huh?
396
00:09:04,770 --> 00:09:06,136
>> LINA: Are you awake?
397
00:09:06,138 --> 00:09:07,137
>> RUSS: Huh?
398
00:09:07,139 --> 00:09:08,439
>> LINA: Russ.
399
00:09:08,441 --> 00:09:09,507
>> RUSS: What?
400
00:09:09,509 --> 00:09:10,508
>> LINA: I can't stop thinking
401
00:09:10,510 --> 00:09:12,510
about that house.
402
00:09:12,512 --> 00:09:14,645
>> RUSS: Huh?
403
00:09:14,647 --> 00:09:15,980
You want to fool around?
404
00:09:15,982 --> 00:09:16,981
>> LINA: Are you even listening
405
00:09:16,983 --> 00:09:17,982
to me?
406
00:09:17,984 --> 00:09:19,316
>> RUSS: (groans) Say it back
407
00:09:19,318 --> 00:09:20,317
again.
408
00:09:20,319 --> 00:09:21,485
>> LINA: What?
409
00:09:21,487 --> 00:09:22,987
>> RUSS: You.
410
00:09:22,989 --> 00:09:25,823
Every time we need a new place
411
00:09:25,825 --> 00:09:29,159
to live, you get crazy.
412
00:09:29,161 --> 00:09:30,160
>> LINA: Well, maybe that's
413
00:09:30,162 --> 00:09:31,462
because we never live anywhere
414
00:09:31,464 --> 00:09:33,163
for more than three years.
415
00:09:33,165 --> 00:09:34,365
>> RUSS: You realize that every
416
00:09:34,367 --> 00:09:35,533
time you say that, it makes me
417
00:09:35,535 --> 00:09:39,336
feel like a total loser,
418
00:09:39,338 --> 00:09:41,872
because I don't make enough
419
00:09:41,874 --> 00:09:44,475
money to buy us a house.
420
00:09:44,477 --> 00:09:45,476
>> LINA: You're not a loser
421
00:09:45,478 --> 00:09:46,477
'cause you can't afford
422
00:09:46,479 --> 00:09:48,212
anything.
423
00:09:48,214 --> 00:09:49,346
You're a loser for different
424
00:09:49,348 --> 00:09:52,049
reasons.
425
00:09:52,051 --> 00:09:54,018
AJ said he would help.
426
00:09:54,020 --> 00:09:56,220
>> RUSS: I don't want AJ's help.
427
00:09:56,222 --> 00:09:57,488
Wait, have you guys been
428
00:09:57,490 --> 00:09:59,857
texting?
429
00:09:59,859 --> 00:10:01,025
>> LINA: That house is perfect
430
00:10:01,027 --> 00:10:02,693
for us.
431
00:10:02,695 --> 00:10:03,694
>> RUSS: We don't even know if
432
00:10:03,696 --> 00:10:05,729
that house is for sale, Lina.
433
00:10:08,533 --> 00:10:11,869
>> LINA: Let's find out.
434
00:10:11,871 --> 00:10:14,672
We are really worried about AJ.
435
00:10:14,674 --> 00:10:16,073
We just don't want to see him
436
00:10:16,075 --> 00:10:18,542
get hurt.
437
00:10:18,544 --> 00:10:20,010
Well, he said you had made some
438
00:10:20,012 --> 00:10:22,179
promises to him, that you two
439
00:10:22,181 --> 00:10:23,581
would be together soon.
440
00:10:23,583 --> 00:10:24,582
>> CYNTHIA: Well, that's the
441
00:10:24,584 --> 00:10:25,583
hope.
442
00:10:25,585 --> 00:10:27,251
>> LINA: Yeah. Right.
443
00:10:27,253 --> 00:10:30,854
So how soon are you thinking?
444
00:10:30,856 --> 00:10:33,190
You know, because AJ's not
445
00:10:33,192 --> 00:10:35,025
getting any younger.
446
00:10:35,027 --> 00:10:36,860
And it's not fair to him.
447
00:10:36,862 --> 00:10:39,096
Or to you.
448
00:10:39,098 --> 00:10:40,898
Or Karl.
449
00:10:40,900 --> 00:10:43,033
>> CYNTHIA: It's tricky.
450
00:10:43,035 --> 00:10:45,536
>> LINA: AJ really cares about
451
00:10:45,538 --> 00:10:46,704
you.
452
00:10:46,706 --> 00:10:48,539
Right, honey?
453
00:10:48,541 --> 00:10:50,074
>> RUSS: Uh, yeah.
454
00:10:50,076 --> 00:10:52,710
No, he's-he's totally into you.
455
00:10:52,712 --> 00:10:53,744
>> CYNTHIA: He's been a really
456
00:10:53,746 --> 00:10:54,745
great friend throughout this
457
00:10:54,747 --> 00:10:55,746
whole thing.
458
00:10:55,748 --> 00:10:57,214
>> LINA: The divorce?
459
00:10:57,216 --> 00:10:58,215
Is that the-the thing you're
460
00:10:58,217 --> 00:10:59,216
talking about?
461
00:10:59,218 --> 00:11:00,217
>> CYNTHIA: Okay, here's the
462
00:11:00,219 --> 00:11:01,218
deal...
463
00:11:01,220 --> 00:11:02,219
(phone rings)
464
00:11:02,221 --> 00:11:03,220
Oh, shit.
465
00:11:03,222 --> 00:11:04,588
This is Karl.
466
00:11:04,590 --> 00:11:05,889
I have to get this. I'm sorry.
467
00:11:05,891 --> 00:11:06,890
>> LINA: Yeah, of course.
468
00:11:06,892 --> 00:11:08,892
>> CYNTHIA: What? Why?
469
00:11:08,894 --> 00:11:10,394
You never listen to a goddamn
470
00:11:10,396 --> 00:11:12,963
thing I say.
471
00:11:14,899 --> 00:11:16,100
No, I don't want to see you.
472
00:11:16,102 --> 00:11:18,068
Honestly I don't want to ever
473
00:11:18,070 --> 00:11:19,136
see you ever again.
474
00:11:19,138 --> 00:11:20,404
The thought of seeing you
475
00:11:20,406 --> 00:11:21,972
disgusts me.
476
00:11:21,974 --> 00:11:23,907
When you touch me, it-it makes
477
00:11:23,909 --> 00:11:25,442
me want to vomit all over you.
478
00:11:25,444 --> 00:11:27,411
Yeah, that's how I feel...
479
00:11:27,413 --> 00:11:28,612
>> LINA: This is amazing.
480
00:11:28,614 --> 00:11:29,913
>> RUSS: What?
481
00:11:29,915 --> 00:11:30,914
>> LINA: You hear the way she's
482
00:11:30,916 --> 00:11:31,915
talking to him?
483
00:11:31,917 --> 00:11:32,916
>> RUSS: Yeah, it sounds like
484
00:11:32,918 --> 00:11:34,318
how you talk to me.
485
00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:35,319
>> LINA: She doesn't love him
486
00:11:35,321 --> 00:11:37,254
anymore.
487
00:11:37,256 --> 00:11:38,255
>> RUSS: Huh.
488
00:11:38,257 --> 00:11:39,289
What are you saying?
489
00:11:39,291 --> 00:11:40,424
>> CYNTHIA: That's why our sex
490
00:11:40,426 --> 00:11:41,158
wasn't good...
491
00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:42,292
>> RUSS: Hey.
492
00:11:42,294 --> 00:11:43,827
Isn't it possible that they
493
00:11:43,829 --> 00:11:45,963
might actually stay together?
494
00:11:45,965 --> 00:11:46,997
>> LINA: Why are you being so
495
00:11:46,999 --> 00:11:48,165
negative?
496
00:11:48,167 --> 00:11:49,166
>> RUSS: Because we're trying to
497
00:11:49,168 --> 00:11:51,101
buy a divorce house from a
498
00:11:51,103 --> 00:11:52,503
couple that might not get
499
00:11:52,505 --> 00:11:53,637
divorced.
500
00:11:53,639 --> 00:11:56,407
>> LINA: Maya, come here.
501
00:11:59,611 --> 00:12:01,845
Your father doesn't believe that
502
00:12:01,847 --> 00:12:02,846
Nicole's parents are having
503
00:12:02,848 --> 00:12:04,148
problems, so you need to do a
504
00:12:04,150 --> 00:12:05,149
little recon.
505
00:12:05,151 --> 00:12:06,617
(phone ringing)
506
00:12:06,619 --> 00:12:09,620
>> MAYA: How do you play recon?
507
00:12:09,622 --> 00:12:11,588
>> RUSS: (groans) AJ.
508
00:12:13,992 --> 00:12:15,325
>> MAYA: She likes purple, she
509
00:12:15,327 --> 00:12:17,294
hates Bieber, and they might get
510
00:12:17,296 --> 00:12:18,796
a Labradoodle.
511
00:12:18,798 --> 00:12:20,964
>> LINA: What about the parents?
512
00:12:20,966 --> 00:12:22,666
>> MAYA: Mom wants the dog.
513
00:12:22,668 --> 00:12:25,169
Dad's allergic.
514
00:12:25,171 --> 00:12:26,170
>> LINA: (sighs) Is there
515
00:12:26,172 --> 00:12:28,305
anything else about the dad?
516
00:12:28,307 --> 00:12:29,306
>> MAYA: Sometimes he sleeps on
517
00:12:29,308 --> 00:12:31,008
the sofa.
518
00:12:31,010 --> 00:12:33,043
>> LINA: Perfect. See?
519
00:12:33,045 --> 00:12:34,845
That's how you play recon.
520
00:12:34,847 --> 00:12:35,846
>> MAYA: That game's stupid.
521
00:12:35,848 --> 00:12:39,149
>> LINA: You're stupid.
522
00:12:39,151 --> 00:12:42,352
>> RUSS: What?
523
00:12:42,354 --> 00:12:43,487
Hey.
524
00:12:43,489 --> 00:12:44,488
>> AJ: Dude, I am totally
525
00:12:44,490 --> 00:12:45,689
closing the deal for you guys.
526
00:12:45,691 --> 00:12:46,824
>> RUSS: Look, we appreciate the
527
00:12:46,826 --> 00:12:48,058
help, but I don't think this is
528
00:12:48,060 --> 00:12:49,059
gonna work out.
529
00:12:49,061 --> 00:12:51,395
>> AJ: It's already done.
530
00:12:51,397 --> 00:12:52,996
>> RUSS: What is this?
531
00:12:52,998 --> 00:12:54,832
>> AJ: Karl's tax return.
532
00:12:54,834 --> 00:12:56,333
Somebody forgot to declare
533
00:12:56,335 --> 00:12:58,335
income on a rental property.
534
00:12:58,337 --> 00:13:00,871
You know, income tax, man--
535
00:13:00,873 --> 00:13:02,372
that's what brought down Capone.
536
00:13:02,374 --> 00:13:03,373
>> RUSS: AJ, I don't...
537
00:13:03,375 --> 00:13:04,374
Honestly, I don't know what to
538
00:13:04,376 --> 00:13:05,375
do with this.
539
00:13:05,377 --> 00:13:06,543
>> AJ: Hey.
540
00:13:06,545 --> 00:13:08,512
Lina and I are on the same page
541
00:13:08,514 --> 00:13:10,013
with this.
542
00:13:10,015 --> 00:13:13,217
Get with the program.
543
00:13:13,219 --> 00:13:16,086
>> RUSS: What... program?
544
00:13:20,525 --> 00:13:21,425
>> RUSS: Okay, this is crazy.
545
00:13:21,427 --> 00:13:22,192
We need to go home.
546
00:13:22,194 --> 00:13:22,926
>> LINA: We can't let an
547
00:13:22,928 --> 00:13:24,027
opportunity like this slip away.
548
00:13:24,029 --> 00:13:25,262
Why should someone else get this
549
00:13:25,264 --> 00:13:27,097
house?
550
00:13:27,099 --> 00:13:28,699
Why? I don't understand.
551
00:13:28,701 --> 00:13:29,867
We need a two-car garage.
552
00:13:29,869 --> 00:13:30,934
>> RUSS: Why? We have one car.
553
00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:31,935
>> LINA: For now we have one
554
00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:32,936
car, but...
555
00:13:32,938 --> 00:13:33,937
>> RUSS: Uh...
556
00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:34,938
>> LINA: Oh, and guess what
557
00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:35,939
else I just found out.
558
00:13:35,941 --> 00:13:36,940
Karl's sleeping on the couch.
559
00:13:36,942 --> 00:13:37,941
>> RUSS: So what?
560
00:13:37,943 --> 00:13:38,909
I sleep on the couch.
561
00:13:38,911 --> 00:13:39,943
It doesn't mean we're getting
562
00:13:39,945 --> 00:13:40,944
divorced.
563
00:13:40,946 --> 00:13:42,446
>> LINA: She wants this to end.
564
00:13:42,448 --> 00:13:44,281
She's vulnerable, she's angry.
565
00:13:44,283 --> 00:13:45,916
So, like, this is perfect.
566
00:13:45,918 --> 00:13:47,384
We're coming in at the perfect
567
00:13:47,386 --> 00:13:49,253
moment in her life.
568
00:13:49,255 --> 00:13:50,621
Your best friend is in love with
569
00:13:50,623 --> 00:13:53,423
her, and we need a house.
570
00:13:53,425 --> 00:13:54,625
We need a house!
571
00:13:54,627 --> 00:13:55,626
>> RUSS: You've kind of lost it
572
00:13:55,628 --> 00:13:56,627
at this point.
573
00:13:56,629 --> 00:13:57,728
>> LINA: No, I haven't.
574
00:13:57,730 --> 00:13:59,229
Cynthia and Karl just need a
575
00:13:59,231 --> 00:14:00,430
little push.
576
00:14:00,432 --> 00:14:01,598
>> RUSS: We shouldn't be pushing
577
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:03,133
anybody into anything.
578
00:14:03,135 --> 00:14:04,301
>> LINA: Look, the only way to
579
00:14:04,303 --> 00:14:05,602
get a house in Los Angeles is to
580
00:14:05,604 --> 00:14:08,071
either get rich or get lucky,
581
00:14:08,073 --> 00:14:09,973
and honestly, honey, I don't see
582
00:14:09,975 --> 00:14:11,241
us getting rich anytime soon.
583
00:14:11,243 --> 00:14:14,077
>> RUSS: Hey, I'm... I'm working
584
00:14:14,079 --> 00:14:15,646
on some stuff.
585
00:14:15,648 --> 00:14:17,080
>> LINA: What stuff?
586
00:14:17,082 --> 00:14:18,248
>> RUSS: Uh, it's...
587
00:14:18,250 --> 00:14:19,316
not... it's a nascent...
588
00:14:19,318 --> 00:14:20,584
>> LINA: And it's gonna make us
589
00:14:20,586 --> 00:14:21,618
rich?
590
00:14:21,620 --> 00:14:23,120
>> RUSS: Yeah, it can.
591
00:14:23,122 --> 00:14:24,988
Or it can, you know, certainly
592
00:14:24,990 --> 00:14:26,590
lead to other... things that
593
00:14:26,592 --> 00:14:28,125
could be profitable.
594
00:14:28,127 --> 00:14:29,159
(Lina fake snoring)
595
00:14:29,161 --> 00:14:31,161
It's-it's just got...
596
00:14:31,163 --> 00:14:33,130
(groans)
597
00:14:33,132 --> 00:14:35,465
Fine. What do you want me to do?
598
00:14:35,467 --> 00:14:36,667
>> LINA: Oh, man, I don't even
599
00:14:36,669 --> 00:14:37,968
know what to say.
600
00:14:37,970 --> 00:14:39,002
I am so sorry that you are
601
00:14:39,004 --> 00:14:39,970
dealing with this right now.
602
00:14:39,972 --> 00:14:41,104
I'm glad that you're not alone,
603
00:14:41,106 --> 00:14:42,005
though.
604
00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:43,106
I'm glad that we're here for
you.
605
00:14:43,108 --> 00:14:44,775
>> CYNTHIA: I feel horrible for
606
00:14:44,777 --> 00:14:45,776
dragging you into this.
607
00:14:45,778 --> 00:14:47,644
>> LINA: Oh, no, don't at all.
608
00:14:47,646 --> 00:14:48,645
>> RUSS: No.
609
00:14:48,647 --> 00:14:49,646
>> LINA: What's important right
610
00:14:49,648 --> 00:14:51,348
now is-is the children, you
611
00:14:51,350 --> 00:14:52,616
know, that they have a fresh
612
00:14:52,618 --> 00:14:53,617
start.
613
00:14:53,619 --> 00:14:54,785
>> RUSS: Yeah. Yeah, they need a
614
00:14:54,787 --> 00:14:55,853
fresh start.
615
00:14:55,855 --> 00:14:57,120
>> LINA: Clear out the bad
616
00:14:57,122 --> 00:14:58,655
memories, get rid of the bad,
617
00:14:58,657 --> 00:15:00,023
stale air with a new house.
618
00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:01,458
>> RUSS: Yeah, the air.
619
00:15:01,460 --> 00:15:02,826
>> LINA: You need to sell this
620
00:15:02,828 --> 00:15:05,963
house... and start... over...
621
00:15:05,965 --> 00:15:07,297
>> CYNTHIA: I don't know, maybe
622
00:15:07,299 --> 00:15:08,465
we should try counseling first.
623
00:15:08,467 --> 00:15:09,700
>> RUSS: Oh, yeah, counseling
624
00:15:09,702 --> 00:15:10,968
can be good, too.
625
00:15:10,970 --> 00:15:13,303
You know, except for the fact
626
00:15:13,305 --> 00:15:16,540
that it's... usually, like, a
627
00:15:16,542 --> 00:15:17,875
scam.
628
00:15:17,877 --> 00:15:20,210
It just delays the inevitable.
629
00:15:20,212 --> 00:15:21,211
You know, you're at the
630
00:15:21,213 --> 00:15:22,212
inevitable-- it's over.
631
00:15:22,214 --> 00:15:24,181
>> LINA: And honestly, I...
632
00:15:24,183 --> 00:15:26,884
(sighs) feel like you and AJ are
633
00:15:26,886 --> 00:15:28,051
really good together.
634
00:15:28,053 --> 00:15:29,052
>> RUSS: Mm-hmm.
635
00:15:29,054 --> 00:15:30,053
>> LINA: I feel like you're
636
00:15:30,055 --> 00:15:31,054
gonna make it.
637
00:15:31,056 --> 00:15:32,522
>> RUSS: Yeah. He doesn't have
638
00:15:32,524 --> 00:15:35,659
any tax problems.
639
00:15:35,661 --> 00:15:37,895
And that's what's... a lot of
640
00:15:37,897 --> 00:15:39,329
times the most important piece
641
00:15:39,331 --> 00:15:41,899
of the relationship, is the tax
642
00:15:41,901 --> 00:15:43,934
stuff.
643
00:15:51,676 --> 00:15:54,011
>> AMIR: We need to talk.
644
00:15:54,013 --> 00:15:55,679
About Cynthia.
645
00:15:55,681 --> 00:15:58,348
>> AJ: (chuckles) Why?
646
00:15:58,350 --> 00:15:59,416
What about her?
647
00:15:59,418 --> 00:16:00,851
>> AMIR: She's married, man.
648
00:16:00,853 --> 00:16:02,853
>> AJ: Okay, I get the picture.
649
00:16:02,855 --> 00:16:03,854
Do what you're gonna do, man.
650
00:16:03,856 --> 00:16:05,589
Break my legs, knock out my
651
00:16:05,591 --> 00:16:07,424
teeth, cut my tongue out and
652
00:16:07,426 --> 00:16:08,425
shove it up my ass.
653
00:16:08,427 --> 00:16:09,860
>> AMIR: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
654
00:16:09,862 --> 00:16:11,228
>> AJ: You can tell Karl it's
655
00:16:11,230 --> 00:16:12,529
gonna take a lot more than one
656
00:16:12,531 --> 00:16:14,031
of his thugs to tear us apart.
657
00:16:14,033 --> 00:16:15,198
>> AMIR: Listen, man, I'm not a
658
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:16,266
tough guy.
659
00:16:16,268 --> 00:16:18,535
I'm here as a friend.
660
00:16:18,537 --> 00:16:20,437
And Karl didn't send me.
661
00:16:20,439 --> 00:16:22,472
Cynthia did.
662
00:16:24,709 --> 00:16:25,709
>> AJ: What?
663
00:16:25,711 --> 00:16:26,710
>> AMIR: We are friends, old
664
00:16:26,712 --> 00:16:27,711
friends-- you know, we went to
665
00:16:27,713 --> 00:16:28,912
school together.
666
00:16:28,914 --> 00:16:30,914
>> AJ (chuckles): Oh, nice try.
667
00:16:30,916 --> 00:16:32,282
>> AMIR: No, seriously, man.
668
00:16:32,284 --> 00:16:34,117
Here, she wants me to give you
669
00:16:34,119 --> 00:16:36,153
back your key.
670
00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:39,957
And talk some sense into you.
671
00:16:39,959 --> 00:16:41,458
Her and Karl are trying to work
672
00:16:41,460 --> 00:16:42,759
things out.
673
00:16:42,761 --> 00:16:46,463
She just want to be left alone.
674
00:16:46,465 --> 00:16:47,631
>> AJ: She said that we were
675
00:16:47,633 --> 00:16:48,632
gonna be together.
676
00:16:48,634 --> 00:16:49,733
>> AMIR: She said.
677
00:16:49,735 --> 00:16:50,901
People say things, you know?
678
00:16:50,903 --> 00:16:53,737
Like, she-she lied.
679
00:16:53,739 --> 00:16:55,305
>> AJ: But we were supposed to
680
00:16:55,307 --> 00:16:57,341
be together.
681
00:17:04,449 --> 00:17:06,149
(Jess sniffs)
682
00:17:06,151 --> 00:17:07,150
>> JESS: Hi, David.
683
00:17:07,152 --> 00:17:08,151
>> DAVID: Hey, Jess.
684
00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:09,152
>> JESS: Uh, I need to talk to
685
00:17:09,154 --> 00:17:10,754
you about those tickets.
686
00:17:10,756 --> 00:17:11,989
The tickets that you were
687
00:17:11,991 --> 00:17:13,256
looking for.
688
00:17:13,258 --> 00:17:14,658
>> DAVID: Oh, yeah, good.
689
00:17:14,660 --> 00:17:16,994
>> JESS: No. Row "C" is
690
00:17:16,996 --> 00:17:19,329
completely sold out.
691
00:17:19,331 --> 00:17:21,164
>> DAVID: Oh. Shit.
692
00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:22,499
>> JESS: And... while I have
693
00:17:22,501 --> 00:17:26,336
you, I just want to say that...
694
00:17:26,338 --> 00:17:27,671
I really would prefer if you
695
00:17:27,673 --> 00:17:28,772
don't ask me about this kind of
696
00:17:28,774 --> 00:17:29,606
stuff again.
697
00:17:29,608 --> 00:17:30,607
>> DAVID: Oh.
698
00:17:30,609 --> 00:17:31,608
>> JESS: You know, and it's
699
00:17:31,610 --> 00:17:33,276
really unprofessional.
700
00:17:33,278 --> 00:17:34,277
(whispers): Because also, I'm a
701
00:17:34,279 --> 00:17:35,345
mom.
702
00:17:35,347 --> 00:17:36,513
You know?
703
00:17:36,515 --> 00:17:39,149
And it's... it's offensive and
704
00:17:39,151 --> 00:17:41,284
difficult for me that you think
705
00:17:41,286 --> 00:17:44,321
of me as, um... a hustler.
706
00:17:44,323 --> 00:17:46,189
I'm not the girl that you go to
707
00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:47,290
to look for your booger sugar.
708
00:17:47,292 --> 00:17:47,958
>> DAVID: I get it.
709
00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:48,859
>> JESS: I'm the woman that
710
00:17:48,861 --> 00:17:49,626
works in your office.
711
00:17:49,628 --> 00:17:50,660
And I deserve to be on Valerie's
712
00:17:50,662 --> 00:17:51,628
team.
713
00:17:51,630 --> 00:17:54,464
>> DAVID: Yeah.
714
00:17:54,466 --> 00:17:55,632
>> AJ (singsongy): Congrats on
715
00:17:55,634 --> 00:17:56,633
the promotion.
716
00:17:56,635 --> 00:17:58,035
So happy for you.
717
00:17:58,037 --> 00:17:59,002
(sniffs)
718
00:17:59,004 --> 00:17:59,870
Mmm, mmm.
719
00:17:59,872 --> 00:18:00,637
>> JESS: Calm down.
720
00:18:00,639 --> 00:18:01,538
>> AJ: Calm down?
721
00:18:01,540 --> 00:18:02,506
>> JESS: That wasn't easy to
722
00:18:02,508 --> 00:18:03,140
get.
723
00:18:03,142 --> 00:18:04,041
>> AJ: Oh, really?
724
00:18:04,043 --> 00:18:04,975
>> JESS: Yeah.
725
00:18:04,977 --> 00:18:05,809
>> AJ (chuckles): Sorry.
726
00:18:05,811 --> 00:18:06,710
(Jess laughs)
727
00:18:06,712 --> 00:18:08,645
Seriously, I'm proud of you.
728
00:18:08,647 --> 00:18:10,647
>> JESS: Thank you. (sniffs)
729
00:18:10,649 --> 00:18:13,483
Sorry about Cynthia.
730
00:18:13,485 --> 00:18:14,384
>> AJ: Yeah. I really thought we
731
00:18:14,386 --> 00:18:16,319
were gonna make it work.
732
00:18:16,321 --> 00:18:17,320
>> JESS: Mm.
733
00:18:17,322 --> 00:18:19,656
>> AJ: Seemed so... real.
734
00:18:19,658 --> 00:18:20,690
>> JESS: Well, I hope Karl beats
735
00:18:20,692 --> 00:18:21,525
her.
736
00:18:21,527 --> 00:18:22,192
(AJ sniffs)
737
00:18:22,194 --> 00:18:23,193
>> AJ: Not cool.
738
00:18:23,195 --> 00:18:25,228
>> JESS: Sorry.
739
00:18:25,230 --> 00:18:26,730
But if he does, I hope he does
740
00:18:26,732 --> 00:18:27,998
it in front of the kids.
741
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,166
>> AJ: Well... well, is there
742
00:18:29,168 --> 00:18:30,167
any other way to do it?
743
00:18:30,169 --> 00:18:31,168
>> JESS: No. If you're gonna do
744
00:18:31,170 --> 00:18:33,670
it, make your mark.
745
00:18:33,672 --> 00:18:36,406
>> RUSS: Lina?
746
00:18:36,408 --> 00:18:38,408
Lina?
747
00:18:38,410 --> 00:18:41,244
>> LINA: Hmm?
748
00:18:41,246 --> 00:18:42,512
>> RUSS: You awake?
749
00:18:42,514 --> 00:18:44,881
>> LINA: Mm-mm.
750
00:18:44,883 --> 00:18:48,251
>> RUSS: Sorry about the house.
751
00:18:48,253 --> 00:18:50,253
I feel bad that I haven't been
752
00:18:50,255 --> 00:18:53,023
able to... buy the house that
753
00:18:53,025 --> 00:18:55,092
you want.
754
00:18:57,562 --> 00:19:01,298
I know I got to make more money.
755
00:19:06,370 --> 00:19:07,370
>> LINA: I got to get a job.
756
00:19:07,372 --> 00:19:08,572
>> RUSS: No, you don't.
757
00:19:08,574 --> 00:19:09,573
>> LINA: Yes, I do.
758
00:19:09,575 --> 00:19:10,574
>> RUSS: I mean, it
759
00:19:10,576 --> 00:19:12,042
wouldn't hurt, you know.
760
00:19:12,044 --> 00:19:13,443
It's just...
761
00:19:13,445 --> 00:19:14,878
I'm gonna bust my ass until we
762
00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:16,713
have enough money to own our own
763
00:19:16,715 --> 00:19:18,548
place.
764
00:19:18,550 --> 00:19:21,251
>> LINA: It's okay.
765
00:19:21,253 --> 00:19:22,452
I think I like renting better
766
00:19:22,454 --> 00:19:23,887
than owning.
767
00:19:23,889 --> 00:19:24,955
>> RUSS: Really?
768
00:19:24,957 --> 00:19:26,289
>> LINA: Yeah.
769
00:19:26,291 --> 00:19:29,893
Houses are a lot of work.
770
00:19:29,895 --> 00:19:32,929
And if something breaks...
771
00:19:32,931 --> 00:19:35,298
who's gonna fix it, you?
772
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:37,334
(both laughing)
773
00:19:39,403 --> 00:19:41,071
>> RUSS: Not a chance.
774
00:19:41,073 --> 00:19:44,074
>> LINA: Let's face it, baby...
775
00:19:44,076 --> 00:19:47,043
we're renters.
776
00:19:56,287 --> 00:19:57,287
(golf announcer speaking
777
00:19:57,289 --> 00:19:59,322
indistinctly)
778
00:20:02,426 --> 00:20:04,427
>> AJ: You feel like Mexican
779
00:20:04,429 --> 00:20:06,830
tonight?
780
00:20:06,832 --> 00:20:10,500
>> AMIR: Anything but pizza.
781
00:20:10,502 --> 00:20:12,536
>> AJ: How about pizza?
782
00:20:14,972 --> 00:20:16,973
>> AMIR: Yeah, sure.
48631
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