All language subtitles for Gavin.and.Stacey.S02E02.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-CF_track3_[eng]

-Nessa's pregnant.
-BOTH: What?

-And Smithy's the father.
-Shit a brick!

You've got to
tell him tonight.
You've got to tell him now.

Oh, Smithy.

What?

I'm pregnant.

And you're the father.

What?

I'm pregnant.

ALL: And you're the father.

-How long have you
known about this?
-I just found out tonight.

-Bullshit.
-I did!

He did.
We all found out tonight.

-Oh right, so everyone
found out before me!
-No. No.

I found out
exactly the same time
as you, Smithy.

I bet she knew!

I only found out
on the wedding.

That was over three weeks ago.

-Oh, Come on, mate.
-Don't "come on" me, mate,

-this is all your fault.
-ALL: How?

You and her,
ringing each other
and texting,

arranging to meet up
in Leicester square.

I didn't even want
to go that day.

If you hadn't of
dragged me there,

none of this
would have happened!

-It didn't happen that day.
-What?

It happened at Pam
and Mick's.

When you went off,
in the garden.

That? That doesn't count.

-That was rubbish!
-I know.

I can't deal with this.

Smith. Smithy!

Hey, hey,
hang on a minute,
hang on a minute.

Smith, just give us a ring.

Wherever you are,
we'll come and get you.

We could be driving round
all night.
I don't know where to start.

BRYN: Well, you know
more than me, Mick.

This is virgin territory
to me.

I feel like I'm on patrol
with the police,

driving around,
looking for a crook.

Where has he gone?

Where will he be?

Will we have to
lean on someone
to get a lead?

Yeah, you just keep
your eyes peeled, Bryn.

What about Lucy's?
Shall we try there?

I don't know where she lives.
I don't even know
her second name.

-How come?
-I've only met her twice.

Once at his
granddad's funeral,

and once when
she was washing cars
with the Brownies.

Gosh. The Brownies.

How old is she exactly?

She's 18 next week.

She helps out,
she's the tawny owl
or something.

Where the hell has he got to?
Try phoning him again.

(MIMICKING) Sierra Oscar
to 515 receiving...

Still no sign of Smithy.

I repeat, no sign.
Over.
(MIMICKS RADIO STATIC)

Right, I've put the kettle on
for those that want tea.

But personally,
I'm having a brandy.

I've got to take
the edge off, Gwen.

Oh, I know what you mean.
You haven't got any port,
have you?

Oh, I think so. Stace?

I'll have a dry sherry,
I think.

Oh, girls,
is there any alcohol
in Baileys?

Only a bit. It's mainly cream.

If you want my advice,
I wouldn't.

Not at your age,
and with you being,
you know, large.

-Overweight.
-Stocky.

Fair play.
I'll stick to the tea.

I'll do it, my love.
You sit down.

No, you're all right, Pam.

I need to take my mind
off the fact that I'm pregnant
by a man I can't stand.

PAM: All right, my love.
You go ahead.

That poor girl!
What is she gonna do?

I mean,
I love Smithy to bits,

but he's not father material.

-I mean, not yet.
-Well, nor was my Trevor.

When I fell pregnant
with Jason,

all hell was let loose.
He couldn't cope.

He was drinking,
and gambling
and fighting and all sorts.

Drugs, orgies, robberies...

-Really?
-Seriously? Dad?

Oh, yeah.

He couldn't bear the fact
he was no longer free.

And he took it out on Jason.

Oh, he resented him.

And I think
that's what turned Jason gay.

Really?
Well, that's interesting.

Because Denise and Paul
across the road,

their daughter, Nicola,
is a lesbian gay.

And she has never got on
with Denise.

So I'm wondering,
don't get on with the mother,
lesbian gay,

-don't get on with the dad,
gay gay.
-You all right, Ness?

Yeah. Have you thought about
what you're going do, love?

I mean,
where are you going to live?

'Cause you can't carry on
where you are.

She lives, Pam, with a band.

-What?
-They're called
The Distance.

Three of them
were in Catatonia.

-And the little Welsh one
from Hear'Say.
-Noel.

Well, that is no place
to bring up a child,
my love.

I know.
But what can I do?

Richard said I can go there,
but Judy won't have it.

Not after what happened
last time.

What it was, Pam,
I was their nanny
back in the day.

Oh, right. They'd come home,
after a morning's work,

Judy'd be straight
on the whisky,

and me and Rich,
we'd make love.

Sometimes for whole Sundays.

And then he'd do his Ali G.

No, it's the one
off the Mayflower Road.
-All right. Got ya.

I've only ever been
to a drive-through
once in my life.

The one at Culverhouse Cross.

I went with Nessa and
a couple of the boys
from The Distance.

I have to say
I was blown away by it.

I mean, the whole idea
that you can eat a meal
without even leaving your car.

I felt like I was in
the United States of America.

(MIMICKING) Fillet o' fish

for my wife.

(CACKLES)

For my wife.

-Yes, please?
-Hiya.

-Is Smithy here?
-Yeah. Hang on a minute.

Smithy?
Just coming.

All right?
All right, Gav,
all right, Mick?

-Hey.
-Hello, I'm Bryn!

Yeah, Bryn, this is Rudi,
Smithy's sister.

Hello, Rudi!

No, call me Smithy.
Everyone else does.

(LAUGHS) Well,
there's a thing,
I know your brother,

-and I call him Smithy!
-All right, Bryn.

-Listen, have you seen him?
-Smithy? Nah. Why?

It's a long story.
We can't find him.

Well, there's a young girl,
well, youngish.
And he's only gone and...

I think we should let Smithy
do the talking on this one,
eh, Bryn?

I sit corrected.
I'm putting my window up.

Ignore me.
I'm Mr Blabbermouth.

So you ain't seen him at all?

No, I ain't spoken to him
in days.

He's had the right hump
since you've been away.

-You know Lucy's
been grounded, don't you?
-Yeah.

Ten B&H,
what's the big deal?

All right. Cheers.
We'll keep looking.

You tried the driving range,
right?

Of course! The driving range!
He always goes there
when he's upset.

Course he does.

When West Ham got relegated,
when they lost
the play-off final.

When Pam told him
to go on a diet.

Yeah, that's where he'll be.

-Of course you can!
-Really?
Makes sense to me.

Look, Stacey's room
is empty now,
so why let it go to waste?

Just till you get
on your feet.

Till the baby's born at least.

You don't want to be
on your own, darling,

that's the last thing you want
when you're going
into childbirth.

-GWEN: Don't you think,
Stace?
-What's that?

We were just saying,
it makes sense for Nessa
to move in with me.

Where?
Where's she gonna stay?

-In your old room.
-In the spare room.

But that's my bedroom!
Where are me and Gav
gonna sleep?

Well, you'll have to stay
at Bryn's, love.

But I don't want to stay
at Bryn's!

If I'm coming home,
I wanna come home.

But this is your home now,
Stace.

And you can't expect me
to keep an empty room going

just in case you decide
to pop in on a whim.

This isn't my home,
it's Pam and Mick's.

And yours now, darling.

It's not! It never will be!
It's just a room in a house,
that's all.

-Oh, charming!
-Hey, come on now,
no need to be rude.

I'm being rude?
You're kicking me out!

Stacey! Stacey.

Look, just forget it.

I'll stay with The Distance.

Shame you can't hit them
like that

when you're actually playing,
isn't it?

I'm sorry about before, mate.

It's not your fault.
I just didn't know
what to say, really.

That's okay.

How you feeling, all right?

I dunno.

I dunno how I'm feeling.
It's ridiculous.

You've got to come back, mate.
You've got to talk to her.

What am I gonna say?

I can't be a dad!
Look at me!

I can barely
look after myself,
let alone someone else.

And as for her, erm...

-Nessa.
-Yeah.
I don't even like her.

-Well, you liked her
enough to...
-All right. I know. But...

What am I gonna do, man?

I don't know anything
about nappies, or burping,
or umbilical cords.

-No one knows those things,
Smith.
-SMITHY: Eh?

Well, that's the point.
It's a learning curve
for everyone.

Yeah, but I ain't got
no money,

I ain't got a flat,
nothing!
Where's it gonna stay?

Listen.
The night Pam gave birth
to him,

I left that hospital,
and don't get me wrong,

I was flying
as high as a kite.

But the minute I got home,
I just lay down in bed

and I couldn't sleep.
I was petrified.

'Cause for the life of me,

I just couldn't see
how I was gonna
bring up this little boy.

I still felt like
a boy myself.

But then you realise,
you know,

everyone feels that way.
No one's ready.

And yeah, it was easier
for me and Pam,
we were married.

But, you know,
you and Nessa,
you'll be okay.

You'll make mistakes.
But you'll get there,
one day at a time. You will.

And I tell you,
it's a hell of a journey.

He's right, Smithy.

And no matter how scared
you are,

poor little Ness
is back at Pam's
not knowing which way to turn.

You gotta come back, mate.
You gotta do the right thing.

-Have you been
the drive-through?
-Mmm. Yes.

-What did you have?
-We shared some fries.

Did you get me anything?

I thought you could have
a bit of my apple pie.

Cheers, Bryn.

-Ooh, give it a minute.
-It's quite hot.

Thanks, guys.

It's a funny old night,
isn't it?

I know. I feels very tense.

Would you like a little
Indian head massage?

I won't, Pam,
if you don't mind.

I can't bear being touched
from the waist up.

Including my chest.
Waist down, I'm fine.
If anything, I loves it.

But waist up,

just makes me nauseous.

Oh.

Pam,

I'm sorry about what I said
about your house
not being my home.

It's not, really, but it is.
So I'm sorry.

That's all right, my love.

So what about the room?

Do I stay or do I go now?

The room's yours, Ness.

-Isn't it, Stace?
-Yeah.
You can have it.

Mum's getting an air bed
for when we come down.

Tidy.
I've already spoken to Noel.

He said wherever I go,
whatever I do,
he's gonna be there.

Pure and simple.

-(CAR HORN HONKS)
-Oh, here they are.

Did you find him?
Is he dead?

Yeah, he's fine.
He's just on the phone
to Lucy.

Panic over, Pam,
panic over.

Oh, thank you, Jesus,
Holy Son of God.

What are you doing?
You're not Catholic.

It's just what you do,
isn't it,
in times of crisis.

Like Brenda Fricker
used to do,
on Casualty.

But you're not Catholic.
That's a Catholic thing!

-Is it? Are you sure?
-Yeah.

Well, I never knew that!

I'll leave the door
on the latch,
Smithy.

Where did you find him?
Driving range?

Yes. And I've never been
to one before,
Pam.

Golf-wise, I have lived
a very sheltered life.

I'm gonna make a cup of tea.
Anyone else want one?

(ALL ORDERING)

I'm gonna have a brandy,
take the edge off.

Oh, me too.
Good idea.

Guess what.

Mum said
Nessa can move
into my room.

And when we visit,
we gotta sleep on an airbed.

-That's all right, isn't it?
-What,
you're not bothered?

Well, we can stay at Bryn's,
can't we?

But it's my bedroom, Gav.

-Don't you think
it's out of order?
-Not really, no.

This is your home now, babe.
With me.

-Yeah. I guess.
-(DOOR CLOSES)

Come on.
Smithy's back.

Did you get through to Lucy?

-No.
She's still at the gymkhana.
-I thought she was grounded.

It doesn't apply
to horse-based events.

Right.

(INHALES)

(EXHALES)

Vanessa.

-Will you...
-Oh, for God's sake!

-No, darling.
-What you playing at?

What do you mean?
You said I had to do
the right thing!

He didn't mean propose.

Well, you said it was easier
'cause you and Pam
was married.

And you said I should do
the right thing.

-I don't want to marry that.
-I don't want to marry you.

-I'd have said no.
-Yeah, right.
Course you would.

Oh! Don't diss me
in front of people.
I'd have said no.

Why? I'm a catch!

-(WHISPERS) He is.
-I'm a hoot,
aren't I, Pam?

Well, yes, but you're not
everyone's cup of tea,
darling.

Yeah, but...
Beggars can't have a choice.

Choosers. I mean,
have you looked
in a mirror recently?

You look like you should be
in Amsterdam
doing tricks with Mars bars.

Oh, thanks, Stace.
Thanks a lot.
That was over 10 years ago.

-What?
-Eh?

I said forget it!

And I'll have you know
there's many an Englishman
proposed to me,

and only one
I've ever said yes to.

And that scarred me for life.

-What happened?
-He was a cracking bloke,
Jared.

But he was in
all sorts of trouble
with the tax man,

and he died
whilst faking his own death.

It's the worst way to go, Pam.

Look, I don't care
about all this.

I don't even know
what I'm doing here.

Maybe you both need
to be on your own.
You need to talk.

What about?
What am I meant to say?

Look, I'm having this baby.
I am. I'm keeping it.

But I don't want you involved.
I don't even want you
seeing it.

No. No way.
If I'm having a baby,
I'm having a baby.

And no one is gonna stop me
from seeing my boy.

I'll dress up as Batman and
tie myself to London Eye with
the rest of 'em if I have to.

Whatever it takes.

'Cause if I'm gonna be a dad,
I'm gonna be a proper dad.

'Cause you're gonna need me.
You're gonna be huge.
I mean, colossal.

You are, Ness.
You're gonna be massive.

And I'm petrified.

And I'll make mistakes.

But we'll get there,
one step at a time.

And I tell you,

it's gonna be
a hell of a journey.
Isn't that right, Mick?

That's right.

Cheers, Bryn.

I appreciate that.

(NO FEAR OF FALLING
BY I AM KLOOT PLAYING)

♪ Through my sleepless days

♪ I've found

♪ That in my
dreamless sleep I'm bound

♪ To one night here
the sound

♪ Of you calling

♪ Do not stumble
through tonight

♪ Have no fear of falling ♪

-What are you doing?
-(SIGHS)

I want some meat,
so I've got to eat it now

'cause when that lot come in,
I'll be on them
disgusting veggie sausages.

It's like eating cardboard.

Why don't you just
tell them you're not
vegetarian any more?

(DOOR SHUTS)

-Morning!
-Morning!

PAM: Sit yourselves down!

-Mick, move those supplements.
-I'll just shift these
out the way.

Did you sleep all right?

Not really,
I didn't have much room.

That shower
is out of this world.

-I could have stayed
in there all day.
-What, the one downstairs?

Now, is that what you'd
call a power shower?

-I guess so.
-It's too much for me, Gwen.

You get in there
and it blasts you in the face.

Well, I feel as
clean as a whistle.

That's the longest shower
I've ever had in my life.

26 minutes.

(SHE'S SO LOVELY
BY SCOUTING FOR GIRLS PLAYING)

♪ I love the way
she fills her clothes

♪ I love those
freckles on her nose

♪ I love the way
she plays it cool

♪ I think that she
is beautiful.

-Hiya.
-Morning, Mrs Shipman.

Oh! It still feels
weird calling me that!

Oh, have I got breath?

'Cause there was loads of
garlic in that garlic bread.

-No, it's fine,
just talk on an in-breath.
-What?

Y'know, like (THROUGH NOSE)
"Morning!"

♪ She's so lovely,
she's so lovely

♪ She's so lovely,
she's so lovely

♪ She's so lovely
She's so lovely

♪ She's so lovely ♪

Can I try one of your special
sausages, Pam? Are they nice?

D'you know what,
I honestly can't
tell the difference.

Everyone all right?
Can I get anyone anything?

I'm fine.

I'm gonna have
some peanut butter

and some jam!

(LAUGHING)

And I'll tell you for why.

I've got a friend, Tony.

One of my online buddies,
he is, and he lives
in New Orleans

at the aerodrome. He's having
to stay there until he gets
back on his feet.

And he has for breakfast...

'Cause whenever we speak,
lunchtime here
is breakfast over there

and I say to him,
"What are you having
for breakfast?"

And he says...

(INDIAN ACCENT)
"Peanut butter and jelly."

Now, when he says jelly,
he means jam!

(CHUCKLING)

I can't wait to tell him
about this. He'll be
beside himself!

PAM: Aww. You all right,
my darling?
Did you sleep all right?

Um, not really, no.

Aww. Come and sit down.
What can I get you?

I'm all right, thanks, Pam.
I'm all right. Cheers.

Well, you've got to
eat something, Smithy.

-I'll just have a couple
of sausages.
-Couple of sausages, right.

-And some of that bacon.
-Okay.

And an egg. Just the one.

Cheers.

Just haven't got much
of an appetite, you know?

(DULL THUMPING)

(SHOUTS) Everyone
all right for drinks?

(INDISTINCT)

Lovely. Lovely.

(FAST THUMPING)

It's gonna be a lovely day
by all accounts.

Yeah, it's gonna be nice
all week apparently.

Well, it said in the paper
it might rain.

-Oh, really?
-Yeah... Yeah... (LAUGHS)
Quite hard.

(THUMPING FASTER)

I always have the radio on
over breakfast at home.

Oh, yeah,
let's have the radio on!

(OVERLAPPING DIALOGUES)

(COULD IT BE MAGIC
BY TAKE THAT)

♪ Come...

♪ Come into my arms

♪ Let me feel the magic

♪ Of all of you

♪ Baby, I want you now

♪ Now

-♪ Now, and hold on fast ♪
-All right?

(RADIO STOPS)

Stacey's just jumped
in the shower.

What?

-Bloody hell!
-Oh, my Christ!

-Mum!
-What?

What have you brought
all this for?

Well you said to bring
everything, all your stuff!

-Where's it all gonna go?
-I don't think we've got
room for all this lot!

I didn't mean everything!
Just the stuff I need.

Well I'm sorry, but you
should have said.

We worked very hard to
pack all this up.

You should have
been more specific.

-Well, I didn't think
you'd bring the giraffe.
-Giraffe?

For goodness sake!

-Pam!
-I can't believe this.

Ness, why didn't
you stop them?

Oh. Don't blame me, love,
I'm just the driver.

Hey, take a chill pill, Stace.
Keep it real.

It's not your mother's fault.

Now you can take out the stuff
you need and the rest
we'll take to the tip.

-You're not throwing it away!
-All right then, we'll take it
to Second Hand City.

I wouldn't bother, Bryn.

When I worked there,
they had no call for
this type of thing.

It's all three-piece suites
these days,
that's your money.

Look, there's stuff
I don't want right now

but I might want it
one day when we've
got our own place!

Oh, we can't take it back!

-Why?
-Where's nowhere to put it
now we've done the room up.

-Done it up?
-Oh, Stace...

You wouldn't recognize
the place.

I've only got
the skirtings to do,
job done.

Cream it is, Pam.
Cream and plum.

-Oh, that does sound nice.
-I don't believe this!

You've just been waiting
to get rid of me.

It feels like the minute
I got married

you went, "Right,
get rid of her
and all her stuff."

It wasn't like that at all.

I found it all
very upsetting,
if you must know.

-Sorry, Pam.
-Oh, Gwen.

Look Stace, why don't you
have a sift through,

pick out all
the stuff you need now

then all the stuff you want
to keep, we'll stick it
out in the garage

and all the rest can
go to the tip
or the Second Hand City.

It's not actually
a city, Mick.

-It's a shop.
-Thank you.

-Sorry.
-No, you're
all right, it's fine.

Oh.

-I go for my scan
in a few weeks.
-Right, do you need me to...

No. I'm just telling you.

-How you getting back today?
-I'm taking the truck.

-Is it...
-It is your baby.

-I know.
-It is.

I know.

I was gonna say,
is it safe to be driving
that thing in your...

Yeah, I'm fine till 32 weeks.

Well, I'd like to come down
if that's all right,
for the scan with you, yeah?

You know, if we're
gonna do this,
I want to do it properly.

I'll could give you some money
towards it. I'm not gonna be
an arsehole about it.

-Tidy.
-Right.

Right, so that's the stuff
you want in my room,
I mean, our room.

That's going in the garage.

-Oh! God knows where.
-Pam!

Well, we'll find a way,
but I'm just saying
that's all,

it's gonna be a squeeze.

And then that...

-That's going to
Second Hand City.
-Second Hand City. Yeah.

Will they take a foot spa
at Second Hand City?

I mean would you
buy a second-hand foot spa?

Well, I don't know.
I mean we'll have to ask Ness.
Nessa,

-will they take this
d'you think?
-Has it got a box?

-Not that I know of.
-No.

No way. Not a chance.
They'll laugh you
out of there, Bryn.

Well just bin it then.

It's half past now.
Shouldn't we get going?

But I've got to help
Mick with all of this.

You're all right.
You're sticking
around for a bit, aren't you?

Yeah, I ain't going to
Lucy's till six. She's at an
all-day swimming gala.

She never stops, that girl!

She'll stop tonight
when I tell her I'm the father
of someone else's child.

Right.
I'll just go and get the keys.

I'm gonna fire her up
and get on the road, Gwen.

There's no need for us
to convoy. Anyway I'm
stopping off at Heston

to see Ozzie and a few
of the Stobart boys.

-Right, well, shall we
join you there?
-No.

It's truckers only,
I'm afraid.

Stace, I'll see you.

Take it easy, Mick.

Increase the peace, Pam.

-Right, so I'll...
-I'll give you a ring.

Tidy. Oh, Gav, you gonna
give me a bunk up?

It's no joke in this skirt.

Yeah, okay.

-See you back at base, Ness.
-Cracking.

(ENGINE REVVING)

(HORN HONKS)

Well, this is it then.

-Oh!
-Oh!

-Bye, Gwen.
-Bye, Pam, thanks ever
so much for having us.

-Sorry about all the stuff.
-Oh, don't worry. We'll find
a place for it somewhere.

Look after
our little girl now.

(SIGHS) I'm gonna miss this.

-What?
-Nothing.

-See you, Uncle Bryn.
-Now, there'll be no tears.

-We're are just a phone call
away so...
I love you.

Take it easy, Bryn-lar!

When d'you think
you'll next be down?

I don't know. Two weeks maybe?

Well, that's something
to look forward to, isn't it?

Oh hey now! No need to cry.

It just doesn't
feel right, this.

It feels like I should be
coming with you, coming home.

But this is your home now.

I mean, Nessa's having
a baby and I'm not even
there, and... Oh I don't know.

-It just feels wrong!
-Now listen.

It just feels funny
'cause it's all new.

But give it a few days
and you'll have
forgotten all about us.

-No, I won't.
-Stace.

This is a whole new
chapter in your life,
a brand new start.

You've got a cracking
husband, lovely in-laws

and of course it's going to
be strange to start with,

but you gotta remember, love,

you can't make an omelette
without breaking eggs.

Oh, come here.

You'll never know how much
I'm gonna miss you.

Right. No more tears now.

-I'll look after her.
-I know you will.

(ENGINE STARTING)

-Bye, Gwen.
-Take care!

( GOODBYE MY LOVER BY
JAMES BLUNT PLAYING ON STEREO)
♪ Goodbye, my lover

(BRYN SINGING ALONG)
♪ Goodbye my friend

♪ You have been the one
You have been the one for me

♪ Goodbye, my lover

♪ Goodbye, my friend

♪ You have been the one
You have been the one for me

♪ I'm so hollow, baby
I'm so hollow ♪

Do we have to have James Blunt
all the way home?

What is your problem with him?
He's got a cracking voice.

I'd just like to listen
to something a bit more
uplifting, that's all.

-Can we just have the one
about the wise men by the sea?
-And then you'll change it...

-(RADIO HISSES)
-NESSA: 1-9 rubber duck.
Dame Judi Dench,

-do you read me?
-Hello, Robert.

-How's it going, Mr Mugabe?
-I won't lie to you, Jude,

I've just found out there's
a four-car pile-up on the M4.

So if you want my advice,
you'll come off at junction 11

and take the A48 all
the way to Chepstow.

Fair enough.
Message received
and understood.

10-4. Tidy.

(RADIO HISSES)

( WISEMEN BY JAMES BLUNT
PLAYING ON STEREO)
♪ She said to me

♪ Go steady on me
Won't you tell me what
the wise men said when they

♪ Came down from heaven
Smoked nine till seven...

It's the lyrics more
than anything,
they just don't make sense!

(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)

♪ Really sorry now
for what they've done

♪ They were three wise men
just trying to have some fun

♪ Look who's alone now
It's not me, it's not me

♪ Those three wise men
have got a semi by the sea...

♪ Got to ask yourself
the question
Where are you now? ♪

-PAM: Stacey?
-Yeah?

What would you like
for your tea, darling?

Can I have an omelette?

♪ Tell me tomorrow
I'll wait by
the window for you

♪ I'll wait by the big
house for you

♪ I'll wait by the squeeze
box for you

♪ I'll wait by your
dresses for you ♪