Original subtitles

Previously on Family Matter.

I've got a date with Liza.

I've got a date with Liza.

That date will never happen or my name isn't Myra Boutros Boutros Monkhouse.

Oh, my!

When I saw you kissing Myra, I felt... Well, I felt a little jealous.

So you're saying you'll still go out with me? You bet.

This isn't over yet.

Oh. Oh.

Hey,

Steve. Oh, hey, my lovely.

And what lucky star has the pleasure of your company today?

Spoo. Oh.

I bought a new dress for our date tomorrow night.

Oh, really?

to be a surprise. You see the dress and you pick me up.

Uh -uh.

I have taken the liberty of compiling a list of 74 things we can do after

dinner. I have written every possible thing two people can do on a date.

Well, we could go dancing.

75.

Well, we could go for a nice walk.

76.

Well, we could find someplace quiet and sit and talk.

How do you come up with... with this stuff.

Hey!

It's my favorite guy. Big guy. Hey, Steve. I can sit with him later. Stop

Stop! Stop!

Sorry.

I'm just a little giddy.

Tonight is my big date with Laura.

Oh.

Excuse me.

For a moment there, I thought you said you actually had a date with Laura.

I do have a date with Laura.

Well, wait a minute.

Aren't you going steady with Myra?

Nope. We broke up. Now I'm as free as a bird.

Well, Steve, you better make sure that it's completely over with Myra.

You know, I was going steady with another woman when I met Harriet.

Really? Mm -hmm.

Her name was Georgia.

Hi, Harriet!

How are you, Harriet?

It's okay, Steve.

Harriet knows all about it, don't you, sweetheart?

That's right.

What are we talking about, dear?

Oh, I was telling Steve about how I was going steady with Georgia when I met

you. Oh, her.

So, you dumped another woman for Harriet?

Yep. I was this close to proposing to Georgia.

But when I saw Harriet, I knew that she was the only woman for me. Right, baby?

Georgia had thick ankles and an overbite.

You broke up with Georgia, right?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

She was very upset at first.

But years later, she broke my windshield with a brick.

surprise.

Surprise?

You called me and ordered me to come over here.

Oh, yeah.

Well, I was wondering.

Want a loaf?

My God, please.

I know, I know it's Laura you really want.

But let me ask you one simple question.

What proof do you have that Laura's really a woman?

Laughter.

You had no right what...

romantic evening with the most beautiful woman in the world.

Well, is something wrong?

I keep thinking about that woman you were seeing when I met you.

Who, Georgia?

Yeah, her.

I never realized until you mentioned it today that you...

actually intended to propose to her.

Ancient history, baby. That was then.

This is now.

Well, now I want to talk about then.

All right. What about it?

Well, I'm curious.

Did you ever buy her a ring?

Uh... Mighta.

Carl, is it the same ring you gave me?

What kind of question is that?

One that needs an answer.

What was the question again?

Harriet, even if it was the same ring, what difference would it make?

I mean, it's yours now, and it's been yours for the last...

25 gloriously happy years.

So it's the same ring.

Technically, yes.

Yes.

It is the same ring. But in actuality, it's your ring.

I see.

All my love.

All these years, I thought those words were meant for me.

And now I find out they were meant for somebody else.

Well, they were, but not now.

Oh, come on.

Carl, this ring used to make me feel so special.

But now that I know it was never intended for me, I can't

keep it. Harriet,

I got wine.

Hey, sweetheart.

Oh.

You know Mom had a fight?

How'd you know?

Well, the only time you're honest when Mom's mad at you.

Well, she's not mad at me. It's worse.

She's disappointed in me.

Ouch. D -word.

Laura, let me bounce something off of you.

Let's say your boyfriend gives you a nice piece of jewelry.

And it happens to be a guy that you really love.

Well, of course I love him. He gave me jewelry.

Yeah, but years later, years and years and years and years later, you find out

that he, well, intended it for another girl.

How would you feel?

Daddy, what secondhand jewelry did you give Mom?

Well, it might have been sort of kind of like a engagement ring.

You're going to be ironing for a long time.

Why are women so sentimental about these things?

On behalf of all women everywhere, excuse me.

Well, Laura, this ring to me is a symbol. A symbol of my love

for your mother. And I felt nothing but love when I presented it to her.

Then let me ask you a question. Sure.

Do you remember the day you bought that ring?

You bet I do.

It was a rainy Saturday in May, 1972, and I had just finished trimming my

All right.

And when you picked out that diamond, did you have a picture in your mind the

smile it would bring?

Well, of course.

Now tell me, what face would that smile attach to?

Oh, I'm going to be ironing for a long time.

Steve, you look very handsome tonight.

Thank you, Laura.

I'm wearing my new Italian designer suit from AMS.

AMS? Yeah.

That's my suit.

Boy, you look so beautiful.

Thank you, Steve.

If you tell me what you like, I'll order it for you.

Why would I do that?

Because sometimes fancy cool guys order for their women.

Well, not this woman.

No, something like, I want to save room for dessert.

What's that going to be?

Your lips.

Excuse me, kind sir, but do you take requests?

Certainly. Anything but rap.

This lovely lady and I met in kindergarten.

Miss Ostendorff's class, September 3rd, 1981.

I've loved Laura Winslow ever since.

So if you don't mind, tonight I'd like to sing her our song.

You know, if you had told me that a year ago, I would have said you were nuts.

But now I see what you mean.

Steve has a way of getting under your skin.

You know what's awful, Laura?

What?

He loves you the way I love him.

You see, that's the whole point, Monica.

You deserve somebody who's going to love you the same way.

Selfish, cold -hearted, yuppie hag I thought you were.

How sweet.

Here.

I want you to have this.

Why?

Well, it's a peace offering.

A way for you and I to bury the hatchet.

Mara, I cannot take your watch.

Really, I want you to have it, okay?

Well, all right.

I guess I'll let you two lovebirds alone now.

Bye, Steven.

Goodbye, Myra.

Please don't ever forget me, okay?

Oh, no danger of that.

Was that frightening or what?

That's the love of her life.

I really feel bad for her.

I'm sorry.

I wanted this date to be so perfect.

But because of me, it ended up a disaster.

Relax. It's still early.

I'm sure the rest of the date will be just perfect.

Hi, sweetheart.

Harriet, can I have a moment of your time, please?

What is it, Carl?

Would you please take a seat?

Sweetheart, you were right about the ring.

It was incredibly inconsiderate of me to...

Give you a ring that was originally intended for another woman.

Thank you.

Harriet, you are the most important woman in the world to me.

And you deserve a ring that's yours and yours alone.

May I have your hand, please?

old one.

Read the inscription.

My true love, Harriet.

Thank you, God.

Harriet Winslow, I have loved you since

the very first moment I saw you.

Would you stay married to me?

Oh, yes, Carl.

Forever.

Laura Lee Winslow, arrested January 30th, 1998 for petty theft.

Subsequently released for lack of evidence.

and then rearrested 90 minutes later for assaulting this woman.

Myra Boutros Boutros Monkhouse, a .k .a. Snuggle Buns, Cheese Knees, and Sugar

Lips.

A search of her home revealed illegal surveillance equipment and led to

of stalking this man,

Stephen Q. Urkel, who did absolutely nothing wrong.

but just wanted to have his picture taken.