Original subtitles

She works hard for no money.

So hard for it, honey.

She works hard for no money. So you better treat her right.

Thank you, Doc.

Well, let me help you with that. It's okay, Steve. I have it.

Sorry, I don't speak Japanese.

I'm from Oak Park.

Oh, my faux pas.

There for two, please. Right this way.

Welcome. Welcome to Tanaka Gardens.

I am Mr.

Tanaka. And this is Yoshi, your teppanyaki.

It's an honor to be in your restaurant tonight.

Oh, thank you.

It is an honor to have two people who have such a great fashion sense.

May I suggest the house special?

Oh, what's in it?

Oh, get it, honey. It's got a little bit of everything, including squid.

Joy.

Thank you.

a master chef does not come easy.

It's a great deal of practice and dedication and 30 bucks for my video.

You mean you train chefs here?

Sometimes, if they show promise. Oh, I've got promise. I promise.

I don't know. You see, a great chef must learn to think not from here, but from

here. And that is very difficult.

Well, I don't know. I'm difficult.

I'm afraid not.

I'll work for free.

We start Monday.

Hello, Winslow.

Well, Commissioner, what a surprise.

Please, come in, come in. Thank you, thank you.

Can I get you anything?

Coffee? Tea?

Birdseed?

No, thanks. I won't be here that long.

Winslow, this is Andre.

Wow, Andre. Andre's a pretty bird. Pretty bird.

Hey, and he talks, too.

Well, Andre's a very pretty bird. Oh, you two are going to have a lot of fun

together.

Fun together, sir?

Well, you love birds. don't you?

Well, actually, I never really thought about him much except around

Thanksgiving.

Carl,

please now listen. Andre is my wife's pride and joy, and I need somebody to

after him.

Blanche and I are going off on a second honeymoon.

Oh, very nice.

I wonder if it's anything like the first one.

Well, don't worry, sir.

Andre and I are going to have great fun this weekend.

What weekend? We're going to be gone two weeks.

Two weeks? Yeah, now listen, all of his stuff is in that bag. His food, his

toys, his books.

He reads?

Oh, be ridiculous.

He just likes to look at the pictures.

Now listen, if he gets cranky, all you have to do is sing his favorite song,

Achy Breaky Heart.

That's a good one, sir.

I'm serious.

I'll learn it.

Hey, Steve.

Moshi moshi.

So, how's the world of a chef training?

Oh, Yoshi's teaching me a lot.

Thank you.

for when you accidentally stabbed him.

That will give, but shoo, shoo, shoo. I have lots of work to do. Thank you.

Stephen, who are these pretty young ladies?

Oh, well, Mr. Tanaka, this is my very special friend, Laura Lee Wingslow.

And I'm Matt.

It would be truly an honor if you would stay and have dinner.

Well, I really don't... It's on the house.

Where do I sit?

Do you have lobster?

Ladies,

tonight your dinner will be prepared by our newest master chef.

Oh, wow!

Who?

You, my friend.

May I have your word with you, please? Girl,

this is great dinner and a show.

What show?

Watch and stay work.

I know you would like for me to cook tonight, but with all due respect, are

out of your mind?

Now, Steve, please, I know exactly what I'm doing.

It is only fitting that you make your cooking debut in front of the woman your

heart has chosen.

How'd you know it was Laura?

Oh, your eyes told the whole story.

You looked at her exactly the same way I looked at my wife the first time I saw

her.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Oh, Mr. Tanaka, I... I've loved Laura Winslow ever since kindergarten, but she

never paid me any attention.

It's only now that she started to have feelings for me.

Oh. Well...

then you will impress her by showing her all that you have learned, yes?

Oh, I'm not ready. I'll make a fool of myself.

Oh, that is not true. See, I have watched you grow from an awkward

into a little less awkward moth.

You have observed.

You have studied hard. You have trained well.

You are...

Let me show you how I've done a little 3J.

Check it out.

Eddie's the man.

Eddie is the man.

Andre is a pretty bird.

Pretty bird.

You're right, Dad.

Bird brain.

Hey, maybe if I give it some pizza, it'll talk, huh? Good idea.

Hey, Andre, you like pepperoni?

Here you go. you go.

That bird bit me.

You know, I can't believe Commissioner Geis left me with this stupid bird.

That Geis is an idiot.

first time, your newest teppanyaki chef, Mr. Stephen Q.

Urkel.

With your permission,

I would like to prepare a specialty of the house.

Tsunami!

Think not from the head, think from the heart.

He did?

Mr. Tanaka!

Oh, I'm so sorry. I caused all this damage. I promise I'll repay you. I'm so

sorry. Sorry?

With your quick thinking and your over -the -top response, you saved my

restaurant.

You killed my business, but you saved my restaurant.

You mean you're not mad at me?

No, no.

I am very grateful.

A soggy restaurant is much better than a burned -down restaurant.

Oh, you are a kind and wise man. Kind and wise.

Well, one day when the place is all dried out, you can come back here and

any time you like.

Really?

Oh, thank you.

I am a very fortunate man.

Because no one got hurt?

That and I just renewed my flood insurance.

Guys is a great guy.

Guys is a great guy.

Oh, come on, Bert, you can say it.

Geis is an idiot!

Now look, you stupid bird.

Geis is going to be here any minute.

And you are going to say Geis is a great guy, or I'm going to... I'm going to...

understand.

And if you tell my heart, my achy, breaky heart, he might blow up and kill

man.

I love you, bird.

Geis is an idiot.

Geis is an idiot.

You see, Geis is here now.

Probably have my job for this.

What did you say?

Oh, Guy, she's a great guy.

Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes.

Well, Commissioner Guy, come in. How was your vacation, sir? Welcome back.

I'm glad to be back on the line of fire.

Well, here's Andre.

Happy, healthy, and was no trouble at all.

Well, thank you, Carl.

You know, I don't really consider you a captain.

Thank you, sir. You're more than that. Like a high -level subordinate.

All right, Andre.

Hop up. Let's go home.

Geist is an idiot.

Geist is an idiot.

I can explain that, sir. There's nothing to explain.

Well, I'd like to try, sir, you see. No, that's all right. My wife taught him to

say that.

She thinks it's hilarious.

I don't. Oh, no, not funny at all.

I'll tell you the truth.

Between you and me, sometimes Blanche can be a real pain in the butt. Oh.

Blanche is a pain in the butt. No, no, no.

Blanche is a pain in the butt. No, no, no.

Blanche is a great wife. Blanche is a great wife. Blanche is a pain in the

What a night. You can say that again.

I almost blew away your weave.

I have to go shake the rice out of my pants.

Uh, Steve, wait.

You want to come help?

No.

I just want to tell you, um, you really impressed me tonight.

I did?

Yeah.

I always think of you as, well, very clumsy.

But the way you cooked tonight, it was...

It was really cool.

Cool?

Yeah.

I would even go so far as to say sexy.

Sexy?

Very.

I'd like... Yeah?

If you'd like, I could chop some vegetables right now.

Let's not cheapen it with additional produce.