All language subtitles for Family Matters s09e03 Dumb Bell of the Ball
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1
00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:11,800
Steve.
2
00:00:12,220 --> 00:00:16,440
Do you have to do that?
3
00:00:17,260 --> 00:00:19,220
Yep. I'm getting for a new record.
4
00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:20,800
3 ,020.
5
00:00:21,180 --> 00:00:23,520
3 ,030. Oh, wait. No, no, no, no, no.
6
00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:28,180
Now, no more paddle ball.
7
00:00:31,220 --> 00:00:32,220
Huh.
8
00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:33,840
No more paddle ball.
9
00:00:35,260 --> 00:00:36,760
Thank you, because I have to study.
10
00:01:07,310 --> 00:01:08,690
I'm trying to study.
11
00:01:09,170 --> 00:01:11,410
Now get out of here before I bust you
upside your head.
12
00:01:12,250 --> 00:01:13,250
Well, sure.
13
00:01:13,310 --> 00:01:14,710
As long as you ask so nicely.
14
00:01:19,530 --> 00:01:22,450
You know, I was going to tell you
something really neat, too, but not
15
00:02:29,610 --> 00:02:30,710
My, you're getting stronger.
16
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:34,850
Evidently not strong enough.
17
00:02:36,070 --> 00:02:39,150
Look, Myrtle, just because you're
Steve's cousin does not mean that you
18
00:02:39,150 --> 00:02:40,270
over here without calling.
19
00:02:41,350 --> 00:02:45,670
Edward, I have come all the way from the
great state of Mississippi to
20
00:02:45,670 --> 00:02:50,730
personally invite you to the event of
the year, the Biloxi debutante ball.
21
00:02:52,490 --> 00:02:54,430
Gee, I'm so sorry I can't go.
22
00:02:54,910 --> 00:02:56,090
But you don't know when it is.
23
00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:57,310
Doesn't matter.
24
00:03:03,530 --> 00:03:05,350
My introduction to Biloxi Society.
25
00:03:08,870 --> 00:03:09,870
Biloxi Society?
26
00:03:10,670 --> 00:03:13,270
What do they do, put your picture on the
side of a bus?
27
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:18,150
Just all you want.
28
00:03:18,810 --> 00:03:22,610
But if I don't show up with a good
-looking man, that Sarah Sue Pettyjohn
29
00:03:22,610 --> 00:03:24,350
make me the laughingstock of Biloxi.
30
00:03:24,870 --> 00:03:27,310
Well, hasn't your shoe size already done
that?
31
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:34,420
That Sarah Sue is a snooty... little
trollop who's always been jealous of my
32
00:03:34,420 --> 00:03:35,420
beauty.
33
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:41,540
Now, I will fly you in, buy you a tux,
and give you a lot of spending money.
34
00:03:41,860 --> 00:03:42,860
Nope.
35
00:03:43,420 --> 00:03:47,140
If you say yes, maybe I'll say Ferrari.
36
00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:53,140
You can say legit Ferrari like here.
Ain't no way I'm taking you anywhere.
37
00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:05,620
He doesn't thank you culturally enough
for money.
38
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:08,480
Say what?
39
00:04:09,380 --> 00:04:10,380
Yes.
40
00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:15,820
Big Daddy's trying to pair me up with
some spinely, smooth -talking pretty
41
00:04:16,420 --> 00:04:18,760
But I like my man's rough and bumpy.
42
00:04:33,610 --> 00:04:34,610
Hey, Max.
43
00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:37,290
Oh, hi, Max. Well, you're all gussied
up.
44
00:04:37,550 --> 00:04:38,990
What are you more off to tonight?
45
00:04:39,290 --> 00:04:43,050
The sizzle club. Word is Tony Braxton's
in town and might drop by tonight.
46
00:04:46,850 --> 00:04:47,850
Hey, girl.
47
00:04:48,010 --> 00:04:49,010
Whoa, mama!
48
00:04:50,530 --> 00:04:51,570
Ring -a -ling -a -ding -dong.
49
00:04:52,510 --> 00:04:54,270
Girl, you are looking hot.
50
00:04:54,630 --> 00:04:56,970
Hot? Why, she could break up Siegfried
and Roy.
51
00:04:59,990 --> 00:05:01,350
That dress is kicking.
52
00:05:01,770 --> 00:05:02,970
That dress is history.
53
00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:08,040
What? Laura, sweetheart, I can't allow
you to go out in public dressed like
54
00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:11,320
that. Do you really think that's fair?
Laura, if you want to go to the fizzle
55
00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:14,800
club, you're going to have to go
upstairs and change right now.
56
00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:18,720
All right.
57
00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:25,259
Oh, yeah.
58
00:05:25,260 --> 00:05:27,280
Much better. Dee, shut him up.
59
00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:32,020
Is this better, Daddy?
60
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:35,120
Yes, sweetheart, you look beautiful.
61
00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:40,580
Yeah, I'll be a big hit if it's nun
night at the sizzle club.
62
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:43,640
That's cute.
63
00:05:43,820 --> 00:05:45,020
Well, have fun.
64
00:05:45,900 --> 00:05:47,140
Yeah, gobs of fun.
65
00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:54,000
Well, look at it this way, Laura.
66
00:05:54,540 --> 00:05:56,500
At least know the girl will be wearing
that dress.
67
00:05:57,700 --> 00:05:59,340
Yeah, I won't either.
68
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:04,660
I thought you gave in too easy.
69
00:06:15,660 --> 00:06:19,140
Check you tomorrow, man. Be cool, man.
All right. Peace.
70
00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:21,400
Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace.
71
00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:23,680
Peace.
72
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:32,800
Peace.
73
00:06:33,210 --> 00:06:36,770
to ask you one more time to escort me to
the Biloxi debutante ball.
74
00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:40,570
Now, this is your last chance, for I
absolutely refuse the bag.
75
00:06:41,670 --> 00:06:42,670
No.
76
00:06:43,230 --> 00:06:50,190
Oh, please. I have to go with that
pretty boy Big Daddy picked out for me.
77
00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:19,260
Oh, my God, what is that?
78
00:07:28,620 --> 00:07:30,540
How's she doing?
79
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:32,840
She's still unconscious.
80
00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:39,420
Oh, I'm really sorry. I tried to stop
the car, but... No, man, it wasn't your
81
00:07:39,420 --> 00:07:40,420
fault. Really.
82
00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:41,600
Thanks.
83
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:44,740
Oh, my God!
84
00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:47,040
Look what I did to her face!
85
00:07:51,380 --> 00:07:53,360
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
86
00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:55,760
No, it was already like that.
87
00:07:59,260 --> 00:08:02,800
If I can do anything, please give me a
call.
88
00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:04,080
Yeah, thank you.
89
00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:10,260
Hello. I'm Dr. Rubin.
90
00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:11,760
Eddie Winslow.
91
00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:16,420
Listen, Doc, is she going to be all
right?
92
00:08:17,300 --> 00:08:21,460
Well, next 24 hours are going to be very
critical for your girlfriend. Oh, hold
93
00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:22,460
up now.
94
00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:25,540
She ain't my girlfriend.
95
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:27,480
Well,
96
00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:34,460
I'm going to
97
00:08:34,460 --> 00:08:36,200
send a plastic surgeon up to look at her
face.
98
00:08:40,159 --> 00:08:41,940
Well, she didn't get hit in the face.
99
00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:43,640
I know.
100
00:08:45,870 --> 00:08:46,870
I'm very concerned, Eddie.
101
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:51,330
If Myrtle doesn't regain consciousness
soon, there's a strong possibility that
102
00:08:51,330 --> 00:08:52,810
she never will.
103
00:08:59,410 --> 00:09:02,350
This is terrible.
104
00:09:03,250 --> 00:09:06,550
Myrtle, this is all my fault.
105
00:09:08,210 --> 00:09:10,750
Lord, this girl risked her life to save
mine.
106
00:09:11,390 --> 00:09:13,310
And all I've done is treat her badly.
107
00:09:14,380 --> 00:09:15,700
Please let her wake up.
108
00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:21,980
If you do, I promise I'll never say mean
things to her again or try to push her
109
00:09:21,980 --> 00:09:22,980
out of my life.
110
00:09:23,660 --> 00:09:27,960
I'll even... I'll even... I'll even
escort her to the debutante ball.
111
00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:30,760
Hallelujah, I'm healed!
112
00:09:53,710 --> 00:09:58,530
is taking you to the windy city oh good
we're taking our cameras to chicago's
113
00:09:58,530 --> 00:10:03,510
hottest nightclub the sizzle club where
we caught up with the hot tony braxton
114
00:10:03,510 --> 00:10:10,450
oh no this is a
115
00:10:10,450 --> 00:10:15,650
rerun no no no no it isn't you and max
just went to see tony braxton last night
116
00:10:15,650 --> 00:10:20,150
yes the sizzle club's definitely the hot
spot in chicago
117
00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:38,040
You on TV.
118
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,120
No, it's not.
119
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:46,940
You know how they say that everybody has
a person that looks just like them?
120
00:10:48,140 --> 00:10:49,140
That's my double.
121
00:10:52,220 --> 00:10:56,480
Then your double is wearing that tiger
print dress that I told you not to wear.
122
00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:02,520
It's me.
123
00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:06,240
I changed records after I left the
house.
124
00:11:15,740 --> 00:11:17,480
I just cannot believe that you did that.
125
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:24,500
You're not going to yell at me?
126
00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:26,860
No, Laura, I'm not going to yell at you.
127
00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:31,100
I'm too disappointed to yell at you.
128
00:11:47,210 --> 00:11:49,270
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr.
129
00:11:49,470 --> 00:11:52,490
and Mrs. Charles T. Wentworth of
Wentworth Stables.
130
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:21,560
That's so magical. How can I ever thank
you for escorting me?
131
00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:23,680
Don't mention it.
132
00:12:24,380 --> 00:12:26,260
I mean, don't mention it to anyone.
133
00:12:28,540 --> 00:12:32,980
Ladies and gentlemen, Big Daddy Urkel of
Urkel Peanuts.
134
00:12:38,980 --> 00:12:40,060
That's a Mr.
135
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:42,420
Big Daddy to you, sonny boy.
136
00:12:43,780 --> 00:12:44,780
Edward.
137
00:12:45,450 --> 00:12:48,570
Can you just stand there with that music
surging through your bones?
138
00:12:49,630 --> 00:12:50,529
Hey, look.
139
00:12:50,530 --> 00:12:51,530
There's Big Daddy.
140
00:12:52,530 --> 00:12:53,990
Myrtle, my child.
141
00:12:54,570 --> 00:12:56,250
Don't you Myrtle, my child, me.
142
00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:59,930
I know what you're thinking, and I will
have nothing to do with that Marshall
143
00:12:59,930 --> 00:13:00,930
character.
144
00:13:01,350 --> 00:13:03,330
You know I love Eddie Winslow.
145
00:13:04,970 --> 00:13:07,790
I think I'm going to have to have a
little talk with him.
146
00:13:08,910 --> 00:13:11,890
Now, baby girl, why don't you go and fix
your face?
147
00:13:12,810 --> 00:13:15,050
Why does everybody keep telling me to do
this?
148
00:13:19,410 --> 00:13:20,510
Excuse me, Edward.
149
00:13:21,170 --> 00:13:22,170
Take your time.
150
00:13:27,270 --> 00:13:33,710
Son, I'm gonna give you $10 ,000 right
now to get your
151
00:13:33,710 --> 00:13:35,330
yankhead butt up on a plane.
152
00:13:35,650 --> 00:13:38,030
Ooh, sir, I really wish I could.
153
00:13:38,750 --> 00:13:42,930
But, uh, you see, I made a promise to
God that I would escort Myrtle to this
154
00:13:42,930 --> 00:13:43,930
ball tonight.
155
00:13:44,060 --> 00:13:46,880
We just gonna have to see about that,
won't we?
156
00:13:48,700 --> 00:13:50,120
Step out my way, boy.
157
00:13:54,640 --> 00:14:01,000
There goes that uppity Sarah Sue.
158
00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:03,140
We hate each other's guts.
159
00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:20,520
I was hit by a sport utility vehicle.
160
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:21,760
What's your excuse?
161
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:25,860
You have absolutely no breeding
whatsoever.
162
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:30,740
You see, that's the difference between
old money and new money.
163
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,120
Oh, how true, how true.
164
00:14:32,420 --> 00:14:34,040
Old money has more wrinkles.
165
00:14:49,230 --> 00:14:50,230
No, no thanks.
166
00:14:50,970 --> 00:14:51,970
But it's double fun.
167
00:14:54,110 --> 00:14:55,110
Laura, I'm not hungry.
168
00:14:59,210 --> 00:15:00,430
Dad, can I talk to you about something?
169
00:15:00,750 --> 00:15:02,270
Mm -hmm. Sure. Have a seat.
170
00:15:07,330 --> 00:15:12,570
Look, I can take it when you're angry
with me, or when you're grouchy with me,
171
00:15:12,590 --> 00:15:16,130
or even when you yell at me, but I just
cannot take it when you're disappointed
172
00:15:16,130 --> 00:15:17,130
in me.
173
00:15:17,430 --> 00:15:20,900
Daddy? I'm sorry I wore that dress to
the Sizzle Club.
174
00:15:21,660 --> 00:15:25,120
But I'm 20 and I feel like I should be
able to wear any dress I want to.
175
00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:28,560
But sweetheart, you intentionally lied
to me.
176
00:15:29,060 --> 00:15:30,640
And then you went behind my back.
177
00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:32,620
But I really wanted to wear that dress.
178
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:35,480
You're a beautiful young lady.
179
00:15:36,660 --> 00:15:40,980
And if you wear that dress, you might
not get the respect that you deserve.
180
00:15:44,380 --> 00:15:45,780
I never thought of it that way.
181
00:15:46,820 --> 00:15:48,120
Sweetheart, you're a young adult now.
182
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:54,140
But if you want to be treated like a
young adult, you're going to have to
183
00:15:54,140 --> 00:15:55,140
acting like one.
184
00:15:57,180 --> 00:15:59,300
You're actually beginning to think of me
as an adult?
185
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,000
I'm trying.
186
00:16:04,780 --> 00:16:07,440
But an adult would have stayed to talk
out our problem.
187
00:16:08,340 --> 00:16:09,340
You're right.
188
00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:13,160
So you're saying if I wear something you
don't approve of...
189
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,580
We could talk about it, and you might be
willing to bend a little?
190
00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:20,360
Yeah, I'll bend a little.
191
00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:22,700
But I'm not willing to break.
192
00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:25,100
Thanks, Ben.
193
00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:27,040
I'll do a little bending myself.
194
00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:31,040
Our next beloved guest...
195
00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:45,760
is Miss Sarah Sue Pettyjohn.
196
00:16:49,420 --> 00:16:51,360
Hello, gentle people.
197
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:54,360
I'm just so tickled to be here.
198
00:16:55,760 --> 00:17:01,940
I am presently attending LSU, majoring
in both pre -med and pre -law, and my
199
00:17:01,940 --> 00:17:05,680
goal is to be an extra on Baywatch.
200
00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:54,340
to be escorted by my Prince Charming.
201
00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:58,160
Edward Winslow is just gravy on my
biscuits.
202
00:19:01,230 --> 00:19:02,910
I am somewhat incapacitated.
203
00:19:04,290 --> 00:19:07,630
And I may be a lot of things, but I
certainly am not icky.
204
00:19:09,810 --> 00:19:11,530
Does anybody else here think I'm icky?
205
00:19:11,730 --> 00:19:12,730
Yes!
206
00:19:15,050 --> 00:19:16,110
Well, I can take a hint.
207
00:19:17,510 --> 00:19:21,990
Come on, baby girl. Myrtle, wait.
208
00:19:22,310 --> 00:19:23,310
Wait.
209
00:19:25,110 --> 00:19:26,130
Now, listen, everybody.
210
00:19:27,270 --> 00:19:29,650
Myrtle has waited her whole life for
this evening.
211
00:19:30,250 --> 00:19:35,250
And nothing, nothing would stop her from
being here. Not even getting hit by a
212
00:19:35,250 --> 00:19:36,550
car. An Explorer.
213
00:19:36,850 --> 00:19:37,850
A big sucker, too.
214
00:19:40,450 --> 00:19:43,890
Now, she pushed me out of the way of
that car and saved my life.
215
00:19:44,430 --> 00:19:46,970
How many of you would have done the same
for a friend, huh?
216
00:19:49,170 --> 00:19:53,550
It shows courage, class, and sacrifice.
217
00:19:55,010 --> 00:19:56,590
Myrtle deserves to be here.
218
00:19:57,260 --> 00:19:59,700
And there's absolutely no way that we're
leaving.
219
00:20:00,060 --> 00:20:05,500
In fact, Miss Myrtle May Urkel,
220
00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:08,780
I can't believe I'm saying this.
221
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:16,900
Would you honor me with a dance?
222
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:19,720
Oh, take me, Edward.
223
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:45,580
I got the peanut butter, but you ain't
got no bread.
224
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:51,560
I wish you hadn't told me that. I'm
going to knock you upside your head.
225
00:20:51,820 --> 00:20:55,920
I got that feeling funky, getting down
and spunky.
226
00:20:56,380 --> 00:21:02,000
Creamy, smooth and chunky peanut butter.
One more time, boy. Come on. I got that
227
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:05,340
feeling funky, getting down and spunky.
16238
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