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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:06,800 Just the guy I wanted to see. 2 00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:10,460 Forget it, Laura. I'm not going out with any of your skanky friends. 3 00:00:12,260 --> 00:00:13,260 What's that I hear? 4 00:00:13,980 --> 00:00:16,460 Ah, yes, a sigh of relief from all of my friends. 5 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:21,820 What do you want, Laura? 6 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:25,420 Well, look, my sorority's having a charity fundraiser, and we're getting 7 00:00:25,420 --> 00:00:27,760 guys to auction off kisses to the highest female bidder. 8 00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:30,020 Stefan's gonna do it. What about you? Ooh! 9 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:44,980 here i recognize my voice that there are certain girls yes of low 10 00:00:44,980 --> 00:00:49,300 intelligence and impaired eyes i don't have enough money to bid on anything you 11 00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:52,060 know i'm hiding on them and these lips are gonna raise big money for your 12 00:00:52,060 --> 00:00:58,740 sorority i'm here if you need me that is if you need any more hot guys 13 00:00:58,740 --> 00:01:04,360 i have lips my lips are sexy 14 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:09,880 It's sexier than I thought. 15 00:01:30,460 --> 00:01:31,820 Hey, sweetheart. 16 00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:35,980 Guess what? I have such wonderful news. 17 00:01:38,250 --> 00:01:39,630 tell me what it is and we'll both dance. 18 00:01:43,050 --> 00:01:44,350 Oh, I got a promotion. 19 00:02:16,290 --> 00:02:17,390 No, no, no. 20 00:02:18,090 --> 00:02:19,650 No, no. Congratulations. 21 00:02:21,870 --> 00:02:23,070 I need a shower. 22 00:02:29,530 --> 00:02:30,530 Whee! 23 00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:47,370 Mara, earlier today... When you invited Ed O to participate in your sorority 24 00:02:47,370 --> 00:02:51,170 auction? Well, I couldn't help but notice that you didn't ask me. 25 00:02:53,150 --> 00:02:56,850 Oh, uh, well, Steve... Wait a minute. Let me finish. 26 00:02:57,090 --> 00:02:58,090 Okay. 27 00:02:58,310 --> 00:03:01,530 Now, truth be told, I was devastated. 28 00:03:02,810 --> 00:03:05,650 I couldn't figure out why you would try to hurt my feelings. 29 00:03:06,670 --> 00:03:08,450 Well, Steve, I wasn't... Why not then? 30 00:03:08,910 --> 00:03:09,910 Get ahead of me. 31 00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:12,990 You weren't trying to hurt my feelings. 32 00:03:13,489 --> 00:03:16,710 You were trying to spare my feelings, right? 33 00:03:18,290 --> 00:03:21,910 Well, I was just afraid that if you were in the auction and no one bid on you, 34 00:03:22,050 --> 00:03:23,790 you might be humiliated. 35 00:03:24,590 --> 00:03:25,590 And you were right. 36 00:03:25,930 --> 00:03:26,930 I would have been. 37 00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:30,070 But I want you to invite me anyway. 38 00:03:31,350 --> 00:03:32,350 Why? 39 00:03:32,790 --> 00:03:35,390 Well, I've always been comfortable with myself. 40 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:45,720 I have been suggesting that for years. 41 00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:47,620 Often quite loudly. 42 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:49,360 I know. 43 00:03:49,420 --> 00:03:51,400 And finally, I'm gonna listen. 44 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:54,680 Yep. 45 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:59,140 No longer is it I gotta be me. 46 00:04:01,420 --> 00:04:05,720 From now on, it's I gotta be Beth. 47 00:04:09,860 --> 00:04:10,880 That's good for you, Steve. 48 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,120 Mm -hmm. 49 00:04:20,779 --> 00:04:21,779 I could be better. 50 00:04:28,700 --> 00:04:29,700 Hi, honey. 51 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:31,700 Hi. Want to celebrate my promotion? 52 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,000 Here, 53 00:04:35,620 --> 00:04:36,620 you do the honors. 54 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,840 Looks expensive. 55 00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:42,620 It is, a little. 56 00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:46,980 But I suppose we can afford it now with your new promotion. 57 00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:54,490 Honey, I thought we could snuggle up here on the couch, sip a little bubbly, 58 00:04:54,490 --> 00:04:56,410 then retire early. 59 00:04:57,310 --> 00:05:01,930 Sweetheart, I can't open a champagne if you're crawling all over me. 60 00:05:03,250 --> 00:05:04,310 Sorry. It's okay. 61 00:05:14,170 --> 00:05:16,670 Carl, what's the matter? 62 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:24,240 Harriet, you want to know what's the matter? 63 00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:26,300 Well, I'm going to tell you what's the matter. 64 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,880 You're emasculating me, Harriet. 65 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:31,800 Emasculating? 66 00:05:33,380 --> 00:05:36,740 What? Just because I'm making more money than you, Carl? 67 00:05:37,140 --> 00:05:38,140 That's right. 68 00:05:38,180 --> 00:05:41,780 Harriet, the person who makes the most money wears the pants in the family. 69 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:44,800 Well, you're making more money than me now. 70 00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:47,420 So, you're going to start wearing the pants. 71 00:05:53,130 --> 00:05:55,450 is absolutely ridiculous. Harry, we're a team. 72 00:05:55,690 --> 00:05:57,730 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, sir. 73 00:05:58,890 --> 00:05:59,890 Uh -uh. 74 00:06:00,010 --> 00:06:01,430 Not team, Harriet. 75 00:06:02,210 --> 00:06:03,210 Crew. 76 00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:05,230 Crew, Harriet. 77 00:06:05,970 --> 00:06:07,790 And I was the captain of the crew. 78 00:06:25,610 --> 00:06:26,610 Precious swabbing. 79 00:06:27,490 --> 00:06:30,710 But now, you're the captain, Harriet. 80 00:06:32,310 --> 00:06:34,250 New captain's going up to her quarters. 81 00:06:36,410 --> 00:06:41,350 But until a new swabbing learns the true meaning of teamwork, he's going to be 82 00:06:41,350 --> 00:06:43,250 bucking his butt down here in the brig. 83 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:00,780 Good evening, everyone. 84 00:07:01,660 --> 00:07:06,160 Tonight's speech therapy class will concentrate on the... Stop it! 85 00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:12,100 At a moment, old doc. I just need a moment to get situated. 86 00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:11,140 I am living proof that the techniques you're about to learn really work. I 87 00:08:11,140 --> 00:08:12,300 to have a terrible stutter. 88 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:14,320 That's downright inspirational. 89 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:18,980 Why don't we start by introducing ourselves and describing our problem? 90 00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:20,560 Yeah. Who'd like to go first? 91 00:08:22,420 --> 00:08:23,420 Roy Simpson? 92 00:08:25,580 --> 00:08:26,720 I have a list. 93 00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:30,540 And our second thought, that cheese... 94 00:08:38,700 --> 00:08:39,700 I'm Pepe Perez. 95 00:08:39,799 --> 00:08:42,400 And I spit when I speak. 96 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:51,640 Well, I'm Sheila Rockport. 97 00:08:52,060 --> 00:08:54,420 And my voice is too deep. 98 00:09:14,510 --> 00:09:19,870 bachelor is in this girl's humble opinion the coolest guy in all of 99 00:09:19,870 --> 00:09:24,270 please give it up for the one the only step on her tail 100 00:09:24,270 --> 00:09:40,790 ladies 101 00:09:40,790 --> 00:09:46,290 ladies ladies now This event is for such a good cause that I wanted to make sure 102 00:09:46,290 --> 00:09:47,290 I was ready. 103 00:09:48,050 --> 00:09:51,890 So Laura and I have spent the last three days warming up these lips. 104 00:09:54,430 --> 00:09:59,050 Since Stephon is my guy, I want to open and close the bidding at $50. 105 00:09:59,970 --> 00:10:00,970 $60! 106 00:10:03,590 --> 00:10:05,150 She know me think you didn't understand. 107 00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:07,230 Stephon is my man. 108 00:10:07,490 --> 00:10:09,970 So we'll just close the bidding at $65. 109 00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:30,060 bachelor has been called the prince of love. 110 00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:35,560 Yeah, well, he's the only one who calls himself that. 111 00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:40,540 Please give it up for my brother, Eddie Winslow. 112 00:12:09,230 --> 00:12:13,430 My name is Eddie Winslow, better known as the Prince of Love. 113 00:12:14,910 --> 00:12:15,910 That's right. 114 00:12:16,250 --> 00:12:19,250 And if you buy my kisses, you'll feel like royalty. 115 00:12:19,490 --> 00:12:23,590 So, dig deep, ladies, if you want to swing from these lifts. 116 00:12:28,050 --> 00:12:31,710 I think out of courtesy, we should let Eddie's girlfriend, Greta, make the 117 00:12:31,710 --> 00:12:32,710 bid. 118 00:12:35,290 --> 00:12:38,670 I'll give any girl... $25 to take him off my hands. 119 00:12:41,170 --> 00:12:42,170 $25? 120 00:12:42,850 --> 00:12:44,190 I'll start the bidding at 30. 121 00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:30,870 Nice dress. 122 00:13:31,330 --> 00:13:33,290 Somewhere there's a butt naked clown. 123 00:14:36,780 --> 00:14:37,780 I can't help it, Hamlet. 124 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:41,500 No, get some clothes. 125 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:49,120 Harriet! 126 00:14:54,020 --> 00:14:55,240 Harriet! Shh. 127 00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:59,280 You'll wake the whole house, Carl. Hey, sweetheart, could you come down for a 128 00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:00,380 sec? I'd like to talk to you. 129 00:15:01,180 --> 00:15:02,180 Come on. 130 00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:05,640 Come on. To the left. Straight ahead. Come on. 131 00:15:07,620 --> 00:15:09,520 Come on, there you go. 132 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:14,360 Concert parking? 133 00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:18,240 Well, yep, this is my new extra job. I'm moonlighting. 134 00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:19,640 Oh, really? 135 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:20,919 Yes, really. 136 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:25,840 I am one of 25 folks who gets to show you your parking spot when you come to 137 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:26,840 Tom Jones. 138 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:30,580 It's not unusual to be loved by anyone. 139 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,940 It's not unusual to have fun with anyone. 140 00:15:36,460 --> 00:15:39,080 There's a reason why Tom sings and you park cars. 141 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,820 Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. See, you don't understand. 142 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:49,000 With my regular police salary and the money I make from this cool new job, I 143 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,580 make $23 .48 more a year than you. 144 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,880 Captain Winslow is at the helm again. 145 00:15:58,840 --> 00:15:59,840 I see. 146 00:16:00,940 --> 00:16:03,420 Well, I guess in that case... 147 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:07,360 I should think about whether or not I want to get off the ship. 148 00:16:08,420 --> 00:16:12,300 Maybe you can just drop me off at the next port. 149 00:16:12,980 --> 00:16:15,360 Wait a minute, wait a minute. What are you talking about? 150 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:20,480 Carl, our salaries should not be a source of competition. 151 00:16:21,420 --> 00:16:22,860 We're supposed to be a team. 152 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:25,540 Nobody's captain, nobody's swabbing. 153 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,380 Carl, we're supposed to be first mates. 154 00:16:29,580 --> 00:16:30,580 Teammates. 155 00:16:36,650 --> 00:16:37,890 Well, you're right, sweetheart. 156 00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:42,990 We are, Artie. 157 00:16:44,710 --> 00:16:46,510 You for me and me for you. 158 00:16:48,290 --> 00:16:50,030 You're a pain in the butt. 159 00:16:50,690 --> 00:16:54,010 But I'm your pain in the butt. 160 00:16:55,710 --> 00:16:58,310 All right. 161 00:16:59,030 --> 00:17:04,450 Our next bachelor is... Well, he's definitely one of a kind. 162 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:07,500 And he just recently gave himself a makeover. 163 00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:10,420 Please give it up for Mr. Stephen Q. Urkel. 164 00:18:43,180 --> 00:18:44,180 build our way back up. 165 00:19:39,950 --> 00:19:40,950 Hold my kiss now. 166 00:19:43,190 --> 00:19:44,190 You do? 11706