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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,930 --> 00:00:01,930 What's that? 2 00:00:02,910 --> 00:00:04,250 Tell your wife to stop worrying. 3 00:01:17,390 --> 00:01:20,670 to chew your ice like that. It's like sitting next to a camel. 4 00:01:22,330 --> 00:01:24,750 I'm sorry, 5 00:01:27,550 --> 00:01:28,550 man. 6 00:01:29,170 --> 00:01:32,230 I'm still feeling down about Greta breaking up with me. 7 00:01:32,930 --> 00:01:35,630 That's the third time this month. You should be used to it by now. 8 00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:40,610 Hey, this time it wasn't my fault. She should have never asked me if those 9 00:01:40,610 --> 00:01:41,610 made her look fat. 10 00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:49,458 Not for me. 11 00:01:49,460 --> 00:01:51,240 I don't think I'll ever get over Greta. 12 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:53,600 I'm lost, I tell you. 13 00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:58,400 Ooh. 14 00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:00,640 Steve, did you see her? 15 00:02:00,940 --> 00:02:04,000 Oh, I saw her, I saw her, I saw her. She's a looker, all right. 16 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:06,940 Good. Hey, Eddie, did you just now get over Greta? 17 00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:08,900 I think I'm on the road to recovery. 18 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:13,200 Steve, she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. 19 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,260 Woman, not girl, Eddie. She's much older than you. 20 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:20,720 I happen to be very mature for my age. Thank you. Oh, please. 21 00:02:21,140 --> 00:02:24,060 You still get up every Saturday morning to watch the Bugs and Tweety Show. 22 00:02:25,340 --> 00:02:27,420 Why, please, please. That's a classic. 23 00:02:29,220 --> 00:02:30,320 You know what, guys? 24 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:35,340 I think this calls for my love stare. 25 00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:36,880 Woo! 26 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:39,040 Great finger touch. 27 00:02:39,700 --> 00:02:41,320 Not the love stare. 28 00:02:41,740 --> 00:02:42,740 That's right. 29 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:44,180 What's the love stare? 30 00:02:45,580 --> 00:02:48,760 It'll look a pure bewitchlement and seductionation. 31 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:52,780 He says it leaves women all Twitter -painted. 32 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:54,800 Does it work? 33 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:55,880 Not usually. 34 00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:58,400 Check this out. 35 00:03:19,210 --> 00:03:20,210 I don't believe this. 36 00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:22,230 Hi, I'm Kimberly. 37 00:03:22,430 --> 00:03:24,730 Oh, nice to meet you. I'm Eddie Winslow. 38 00:03:25,150 --> 00:03:27,290 Well, Eddie Winslow, what can I do for you? 39 00:03:27,490 --> 00:03:30,950 You know, that's funny. I was just about to ask you the same thing. 40 00:03:31,590 --> 00:03:33,690 Hey, what's a person out there, Kimbo? 41 00:03:34,270 --> 00:03:37,750 Um, I'm a talent coordinator for Venture Star Records, and we're having a talent 42 00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:38,990 contest here Saturday night. 43 00:03:39,630 --> 00:03:41,650 Whoa, $1 ,000 prize? 44 00:03:42,130 --> 00:03:44,150 Yeah, you ought to come by and cheer the contestants on. 45 00:03:44,370 --> 00:03:48,290 Hey, hey, hey, can I sign up? Hi, I'm Mia Courtney. 46 00:03:48,810 --> 00:03:52,710 Right now, focus, too. Wait till you hear when it's cabbage -picking time in 47 00:03:52,710 --> 00:03:53,710 Brimahawk. 48 00:03:54,210 --> 00:03:56,770 We're looking for something a little more contemplative. 49 00:03:57,690 --> 00:04:01,790 Oh, well, then you won my butt out here. 50 00:04:02,090 --> 00:04:06,730 Why, he's got a silky, sexy, make -you -wanna -cow -by -the -fire voice. 51 00:04:07,410 --> 00:04:08,410 Oh, does he? 52 00:04:08,450 --> 00:04:12,830 Oh, does he say it? Oh, just a little bit. 53 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:18,180 You know, some people say that I'm a cross between Luther Vandross and Mr. 54 00:04:18,339 --> 00:04:19,480 Marvin Gaye. 55 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:22,220 Not a lot of people. 56 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:29,080 Well, I tell you what. Before you leave, stop by and sign up. I'd love to hear 57 00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:32,200 you sing. Oh, and I'd love to watch you listen to me sing. 58 00:04:33,460 --> 00:04:37,900 Say, uh, you know, if I win that thousand dollars, I'm gonna use some of 59 00:04:37,900 --> 00:04:38,900 money to take you to dinner. 60 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:40,500 In that case, I hope you win. 61 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:46,080 Yo, yo. 62 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:49,320 You know I'm the mayor, right? I'm the mayor! 63 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:57,060 Chaos and destruction, destruction and chaos. 64 00:04:57,740 --> 00:04:58,960 That's all I ever see. 65 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:02,820 Well, I guess they don't call out the insurance guy when everything is okay, 66 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:04,040 huh? 67 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:05,640 Why would they? 68 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:08,600 Did you get an estimate? 69 00:05:08,900 --> 00:05:10,500 Oh, yeah, I sure did. Right over here. 70 00:05:11,900 --> 00:05:13,280 Hey, it's only $2 ,000. 71 00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:14,960 That's a lot less than usual. 72 00:05:15,340 --> 00:05:19,640 Mr. Winslow, according to our files, you have had a huge number of accidents in 73 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:23,000 your home this year. Yeah, well, I... Twelve times the national average. 74 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,240 Yeah. 75 00:05:24,380 --> 00:05:26,340 How do you account for all these disasters? 76 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:33,060 I'm sorry, I didn't know we had visitors. How are you doing? Yes, well, 77 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:16,020 That young man is a twinago in saddle shoes. Yeah, I know. 78 00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:17,880 Hold it! 79 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:21,960 Are you responsible for this mess? 80 00:06:26,660 --> 00:06:27,960 Oh, yeah. 81 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:34,200 If it's broke, and in this house, it's me. 82 00:06:35,060 --> 00:06:39,360 Mr. Winslow, this young man is such a high -risk factor in your household. 83 00:06:39,740 --> 00:06:41,080 We're going to have to charge you higher rates. 84 00:06:41,340 --> 00:06:42,340 Oh. 85 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,020 How much? 86 00:06:44,460 --> 00:06:47,600 The same rate we charge people who live next door to dynamite factories. 87 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:49,380 $10 ,000. 88 00:06:49,780 --> 00:06:50,780 What? 89 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:53,740 Mr. Tobin, I can't afford that. 90 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,760 Well, we can't afford you. 91 00:06:56,140 --> 00:06:58,840 And frankly, neither of us can afford... 92 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,270 I can't do that, Steve. 93 00:07:11,910 --> 00:07:14,950 There's a poster of you in every insurance company in the country. 94 00:07:15,950 --> 00:07:18,330 His was the only one that didn't know who you are. 95 00:07:19,130 --> 00:07:21,270 Your new premium will be due in ten days. 96 00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:24,410 Here's our new calendar. 97 00:07:31,250 --> 00:07:35,450 I don't know what to say, Steve. 98 00:07:37,490 --> 00:07:38,490 Say goodbye. 99 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:40,960 I'm gonna have to move out. 100 00:08:12,140 --> 00:08:14,260 pretty good. They might give Eddie a run for his money. 101 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:15,660 Beat my Eddie? 102 00:08:15,980 --> 00:08:17,320 I don't think so. 103 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:20,740 Compared to Eddie, they sound like cats on a trash can. 104 00:08:22,780 --> 00:08:25,640 Just remember, it's the audience applause that determines the winner. 105 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:29,000 Sure, listen. If it'll help him win the money that he won't have to borrow from 106 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:32,520 me, I will clap my hands and bang my head on the table. 107 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:36,320 All right, Cafe Java. 108 00:08:36,740 --> 00:08:40,720 Put your hands together for our last act of the evening, Mr. Eddie Winslow. 109 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:09,380 Listen to me. 110 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:13,360 I've been trying for quite some time 111 00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:19,260 to hold back my feelings. 112 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:24,960 Girl, they think you've got me hypnotized. 113 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:33,340 And that's for real. And now your body's gone. 114 00:09:48,650 --> 00:09:49,950 What a terrific night. 115 00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:53,810 I mean, I won the contest, and you're going to help me with my recording 116 00:09:54,230 --> 00:09:56,250 I mean, you're really terrific, Kimberly. 117 00:09:56,770 --> 00:09:59,370 You do all this for me, and you hardly even know me. 118 00:09:59,830 --> 00:10:02,890 Well, you know, Eddie, I'd like to work on that, too. 119 00:10:17,770 --> 00:10:18,870 Mother? I mean, Harriet. 120 00:10:21,690 --> 00:10:24,290 Oh, Mom, this is Kimberly. 121 00:10:24,570 --> 00:10:25,950 She's the one that ran the contest. 122 00:10:26,550 --> 00:10:28,010 Kimberly, this is my mother, Harriet. 123 00:10:28,570 --> 00:10:29,570 Hello. 124 00:10:30,110 --> 00:10:31,110 Nice to meet you, Harriet. 125 00:10:33,070 --> 00:10:34,690 You have a really talented son. 126 00:10:34,950 --> 00:10:35,950 Thank you. 127 00:10:41,370 --> 00:10:42,490 I should be going. 128 00:10:43,050 --> 00:10:44,050 Yeah. 129 00:10:46,220 --> 00:10:47,520 You were really great tonight. Oh. 130 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:49,300 Thanks, Kim. 131 00:10:49,660 --> 00:10:50,660 All right. 132 00:10:51,580 --> 00:10:52,680 I'll be in your car. 133 00:10:53,060 --> 00:10:54,060 All right. 134 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:00,460 Isn't she great, Mom? 135 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:02,240 Uh -huh. 136 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,880 I'd say about ten years greater than you. 137 00:11:08,780 --> 00:11:11,940 Mom, she's only nine years older than me. 138 00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:13,500 Older than nine, huh? 139 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:16,520 Don't you still think that's a big age difference? 140 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:19,040 Well, maybe in dog years. 141 00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:22,300 Listen, Eddie. 142 00:11:22,340 --> 00:11:26,540 You know, if you were 70 and she was 79, I really wouldn't be worried about 143 00:11:26,540 --> 00:11:28,980 this. Mainly because I'd be dead. 144 00:11:31,300 --> 00:11:35,740 But when a young man is 20 and a lady's 29, that's a big difference. 145 00:11:36,220 --> 00:11:40,820 Mom, it depends on the people. I mean, we just spent three hours together, and 146 00:11:40,820 --> 00:11:41,820 we're really in sync. 147 00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:44,320 I like her a lot. 148 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:46,020 I know you do, honey. 149 00:11:46,660 --> 00:11:48,720 And I don't doubt that your feelings are genuine. 150 00:11:50,060 --> 00:11:51,340 But I'm worried about hers. 151 00:11:52,740 --> 00:11:53,740 Well, what about them? 152 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:58,420 Eddie, a lot of women like to go out with younger guys. 153 00:11:58,680 --> 00:12:00,120 They like to have a good time. 154 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,360 But then the guy usually winds up getting hurt. 155 00:12:04,180 --> 00:12:06,820 Well, so far, she's gotten me into a contest. 156 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:10,840 I've won $1 ,000, and she's working on getting me a recording contract. 157 00:12:11,220 --> 00:12:13,450 And if that's hurting me, Bring it on. 158 00:12:16,270 --> 00:12:20,710 Honey, all I'm asking is that you just keep your eyes open. 159 00:12:21,090 --> 00:12:25,990 Well, Mom, all I'm asking is that you start thinking of me as a man and not as 160 00:12:25,990 --> 00:12:26,889 your little boy. 161 00:12:26,890 --> 00:12:30,650 Eddie, all I'm saying is... All you're saying is that you want to run my life 162 00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:32,930 and tell me who I can and can't go out with. 163 00:12:35,650 --> 00:12:39,450 I just wish you'd just stop treating me like a baby, Mom. 164 00:12:59,340 --> 00:13:00,420 What are you doing here? 165 00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:02,440 What? 166 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:10,320 I need to talk to you about Carl Winslow, policy number 659 -1173 167 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:13,780 -000Z. I'm a very busy man, Mr. Urkel. 168 00:13:14,580 --> 00:13:17,820 Listen, Vernon, you can't charge Carl $10 ,000. 169 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:19,280 He'll break it. 170 00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:20,720 That's not my problem. 171 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:23,960 My job is to sell insurance, not help people. 172 00:13:25,340 --> 00:13:27,440 Besides, he keeps us all ready if you move out. 173 00:13:31,370 --> 00:13:36,730 Destitute! Ripped from the womb of the family I've come to know and love as my 174 00:13:36,730 --> 00:13:37,730 very own! 175 00:13:41,670 --> 00:13:43,210 This is what you've done! 176 00:13:43,470 --> 00:13:46,390 I can't no longer take that home and fix it! 177 00:15:46,220 --> 00:15:47,199 you come here? 178 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:50,140 To convince this man that I am not a hazard. 179 00:15:50,900 --> 00:15:52,640 Well, looks like you're doing a good job. 180 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:58,960 Well, don't worry about it, Steve, because I found you a place to live. 181 00:15:59,900 --> 00:16:00,900 You did? 182 00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:01,919 Mm -hmm. 183 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:04,520 A nice little apartment on Argyle Street. 184 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:07,200 Argyle? Did you say Argyle? 185 00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:08,680 I live on Argyle. 186 00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:10,280 Really? 187 00:16:11,740 --> 00:16:13,180 4259 North or South? 188 00:16:21,229 --> 00:16:22,710 Well, what do you know, Steve? 189 00:16:23,270 --> 00:16:25,310 You're gonna be living next door to Mr. 190 00:16:25,730 --> 00:16:26,730 Talbert! 191 00:16:28,090 --> 00:16:29,590 We're gonna be neighbors! 192 00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:34,570 Bugs! Maybe you'll let me store some of my radioactive materials in your 193 00:16:34,570 --> 00:16:35,570 freezer. 194 00:16:35,990 --> 00:16:37,030 Well, come on, Steve. 195 00:16:37,570 --> 00:16:39,030 You got a lot of packing to do. 196 00:16:39,310 --> 00:16:40,610 Oh, yeah. Oh, boy. 197 00:16:40,950 --> 00:16:41,950 Wait! 198 00:16:42,330 --> 00:16:43,330 Yes? 199 00:16:45,430 --> 00:16:46,850 I won't change your rent. 200 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:51,260 Not just sell insurance. 201 00:16:52,420 --> 00:16:53,760 I'll give the kid another chance. 202 00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:54,980 Really? 203 00:16:55,220 --> 00:16:59,420 Provided that you keep him away from my neighborhood. Oh, oh, oh, miles away. 204 00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:01,580 Miles away. Right, Steve? 205 00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:07,400 Positively. Won't go anywhere near him. You'll never lay eyes on me again. 206 00:17:07,900 --> 00:17:08,900 Thank you. 207 00:17:12,140 --> 00:17:13,880 Great plan, big guy. 208 00:17:14,180 --> 00:17:15,339 Worked like a charm. 209 00:17:35,530 --> 00:17:36,650 I got your message. What's up? 210 00:17:37,330 --> 00:17:41,750 Um, well, well, I just wanted to talk. 211 00:17:42,250 --> 00:17:43,910 Talk now, cuddle later? 212 00:17:44,870 --> 00:17:47,130 No, just talk. 213 00:17:48,010 --> 00:17:49,190 You sound serious. 214 00:17:50,090 --> 00:17:54,930 Well, Kimberly, I got to talking to somebody about us the other day, and, 215 00:17:55,010 --> 00:17:56,010 it started me thinking. 216 00:17:56,290 --> 00:17:57,289 What about? 217 00:17:57,290 --> 00:18:01,230 Well, you know, we've been seeing a whole lot of each other these past few 218 00:18:01,230 --> 00:18:04,740 and... Well, I just want to make sure that we're on the same page in this 219 00:18:04,740 --> 00:18:05,740 relationship. 220 00:18:06,340 --> 00:18:09,400 Well, you know, if you lose your place, I have a bookmark for you. 221 00:18:11,260 --> 00:18:12,260 Well, 222 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:14,740 no, I'm serious. 223 00:18:16,180 --> 00:18:20,620 I think you're really special, and I can't stop thinking about you. 224 00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:22,500 Whoa. 225 00:18:22,980 --> 00:18:25,600 I like you too, Eddie, but let's not go crazy. 226 00:18:26,740 --> 00:18:27,740 Well, why not? 227 00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:30,240 Eddie, my life's complicated. 228 00:18:30,460 --> 00:18:32,020 I... Travel a lot? 229 00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:33,960 I see other people. 230 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:39,440 You do? 231 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:45,260 Eddie, we're having a lot of fun, but a good time is really all I'm about. 232 00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:49,040 Well, yeah, but I thought that we were more than that. 233 00:18:51,100 --> 00:18:54,960 I didn't mean to lead you on, but let's face it, Eddie, you're only 20. 234 00:18:56,420 --> 00:18:57,700 Whoa, what? 235 00:18:57,940 --> 00:18:58,940 What? 236 00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:00,300 So you're saying what? 237 00:19:00,780 --> 00:19:03,560 You can't take me serious because I'm younger than you? 238 00:19:06,740 --> 00:19:08,860 Well, yeah. 239 00:19:10,860 --> 00:19:12,420 Well, what about who I am? 240 00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:17,360 I care about you for who you are. I mean, your age doesn't mean snap to me. 241 00:19:17,620 --> 00:19:21,780 Hey, lighten up. I mean, can't we just hang out? Uh -uh. No. 242 00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:27,040 Look, I care about you. And I want a meaningful relationship. 243 00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:29,480 That's what I'm about. 244 00:19:57,980 --> 00:19:58,980 Will it be? 245 00:19:59,660 --> 00:20:00,660 Give me a latte. 246 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,560 And make it a double. 17362