Original subtitles

Deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa -la -la -la -la, la -la -la -la, toot

-toot -toot -toot -toot -toot -toot -toot -toot -toot -toot -toot -toot

-toot -toot -toot -toot.

Hiya, honey.

Hi. Great news.

You sprang for those terribly impractical, way too exquisite...

Mm, no.

You see, Lieutenant Thornton has some land up in Wisconsin with evergreen

on it.

So? So, he said I could go up there and cut down any tree I want.

Why don't you just go down to the corner lot and buy a tree like we do every

year? Because, Harriet, those trees are not for free.

Oh, Carl.

How would you like to go to the forest with me and cut down our own Christmas

tree? Hmm.

Sounds like fun.

Oh, I'm available to go.

You know, this year, the Winslow men are going to start a new family tradition.

Hmm. Oh.

I wish I were a Winslow man.

Too bad I'm just an uncle.

of christmas eve well i can't do it then i'm playing santa claus at the

children's hospital can't we do it another day oh but son that's my only

about this one?

Eh, too scrawny.

All right.

How about this one?

mind you that we are in the middle of nowhere and I am holding an axe.

Hey, Laura.

Hey.

Hey, who's that present for?

You. I actually got you what you wanted. Really?

Hey, how'd you fit a motorcycle in that little box?

Merry Christmas, Laura.

Eddie.

What's happening, man? You got it, you got it.

What's up, Curtis? Happen to cool you?

Uh, I am now.

Merry Christmas, Laura.

Oh, Curtis, you shouldn't have.

But she's glad you did.

Oh, um, here, Curtis.

This is for you.

You know, you're right, Eddie. We do.

You do what?

I want to be alone.

Hey, I'm going.

Watch your hand. Yeah, okay.

Now, go ahead. Open your gift.

Oh,

a charm bracelet.

Thank you, Curtis. It's beautiful.

So are you.

Merry Christmas, baby.

Mrs. Winslow.

Hey, Ma.

We were, uh, you know, just exchanging gifts.

Yeah, right.

Curtis, I need to talk with Laura for a second. Yes, ma 'am.

What's up?

You've got a big problem.

Stefan's in the kitchen.

Oh, no.

I'll try.

Gosh, Curtis, it was sure a great seeing you.

Am I leaving? Oh, you are. I'm sorry. I wish you could have stayed long. But I

haven't opened your gift to me yet. Child, it's a leather belt.

Hey,

baby.

It's Navidad, mi amor.

What are we, Amish?

Exchanging gifts again, Laura?

Well, you know, tis the season for giving.

Steve, Steve, Steve.

Can I speak to you for a second?

Sure thing.

Just please hurry up.

Thank you.

car's through this way.

I beg to differ, big guy.

I think it's that -a -way.

Well, look, we better find it sooner, because I'm freezing.

Me, too.

Why, my nipples are so cold, you can hang a picture on them.

Hey, isn't that your scarf?

this time, we have been going around in circles.

Now we're just right back where we started.

Oh, my God.

I think we're lost.

Hey, Ma. Hi, hon.

Have fun?

Oh, yeah.

Stefan is so smooth on the eyes. He does the most amazing figure eight. Oh, a

lot of people can do those.

And Roman numerals.

Hey, that is smooth.

Oh, honey, while you were gone, Curtis called.

Oh, Ma, you didn't tell him where I was, did you? Ah, you're safe.

Okay, good.

Laura, I don't mean to be the meddling mom, but... But I'm so good at it.

All right, let's hear it.

I'm concerned about what I saw this afternoon with Stefan and Curtis.

Oh, Ma, don't worry. I'm handling it.

I'm not gonna get hurt.

It's not you I'm worried about.

What do you mean?

Laura, one minute you were kissing Curtis, and then the next minute you

kissing Stefan.

Ma, the holidays are just a very hectic time for me.

Laura, are you being honest with these guys?

Have you told them about each other?

You know, well, actually, I'm, you know, operating on a need -to -know basis.

Well, I think they need to know.

Look, Ma, I'm going to deal with this. Just not right now, okay?

I'm just waiting for the right moment.

Honey, I never told you this, but when I met your father, I was dating someone

else at the time.

Oh, Ma, spill it.

His name was Darryl. Oh, was he cute?

Oh, yeah.

So what happened?

Well, I met your father, and he completely swept me off my feet.

On our third date, I was picking our china patterns.

So you broke it off with Daryl?

Well, that's the point.

I kept meaning to, but I never could seem to find the right time.

And then one evening, your father was kissing me goodnight, and Daryl came

strolling up the sidewalk.

What did you do?

I accidentally bit your father's lip.

What did Daryl do?

He looked at me for a moment and then just walked away.

I'll never forget the hurt in his eyes.

I wanted to explain to him, but he wouldn't see me.

Wouldn't even talk to me.

Steve.

I got to stop and rest a while.

But the car.

Steve.

It's dark. I'm freezing.

And the only way we're going to survive is if we stop and build a fire.

You know, back in the old pioneer days, a man would cut open a large animal and

crawl inside to stay warm.

Steve, do you see a large enough animal for us to crawl inside of?

me thinking of myself.

Look, get wood.

You know, I'll go get some wood. Yeah.

Oh, good, good, good. Oh, the fire.

Hey, didn't you say you had some matches?

Yep. Right here in my trusty Urkel survival belt.

Let's see. I've got a Swiss Army knife.

Sewing kit.

Moist towel.

Hey, Stephon!

Nice try, Freddy. Maybe next year.

Hey, Curtis.

Man, get out of my face.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whatever happened to Tiz this season to be jolly? Get your hands off of me.

You got something you want to say to me?

Yeah.

Well, let's hear it. Me and Laura had a good thing going, but she just told me

it's over because of you.

Wait a minute.

You were messing with my girl while I was in Paris?

No. I sure tried, but she always turned me down.

Well, I can't say I'm sorry, bro.

Okay, fine.

You won.

But if you ever hurt Laura in any way...

You and me are going to throw down.

Understood.

But just so you know, that's never going to happen.

What? The fire's almost burned out.

I know, Steve.

Just in case we don't make it through the night,

there's something I'd like to say.

What is it, Steve?

There's nobody I respect and admire more in this entire world than you.

You're the fire. The finest man I've ever known.

You really feel that way?

I sure do.

Even the way I yell and scream at you all the time?

Well, I'd say you've been pretty patient with me over the years.

You know, Steve, all the arguments we've had in the past...

I really don't seem that important anymore.

Why don't we start over?

Let's wipe the slate clean.

I like this.

A fresh start.

Hey,

Carl, look.

What?

So? So, I can use the stars to guide us back to the car.

That's the Big Dipper.

So that's the North Star.

Which means that direction is east.

And the car is that -a -way.

All right.

We're so lucky it cleared up.

It wasn't luck, Carl.

Christmas miracle.

Courtesy of the big, big guy.

Amen to that.

Okay, is everybody ready?

Ready.

Carl, this tree is beautiful.

I think it's the prettiest tree we've ever had.

Richie and 3J are going to flip when they see this in the morning.

Well, I'll just leave this sandwich out for Santa. Then we'll hit the sack.

Oh, Christmas tree. Oh, Christmas tree.

How lovely are your branches.

Oh, Christmas tree, oh, Christmas tree, how lovely are your branches.

Your branches were green in summer's glow, and then they're fading with

the snow.

Oh, Christmas tree, oh.

Thank you.

It's the conclusion to the epic Mirror Universe story as Archer attempts to use

the Defiant to conquer the Duran Empire on an all -new Star Trek Enterprise.